Crash Into Me
by eibbil
Summary: Hollywood It Girl, Bella Swan, needs a vacation. Best friend/PA Alice convinces her to spend it in her hometown, but a reckless driver changes their plans. Will Bella get the rest she needs in the care of Alice's brother..or something much better? AH/AU
1. Chapter 1

_** Huge shout out to Rob Attack for the fic rec and for nominating Crash Into Me for a Best Golden Oldie of 2013. If you like what you read here - I'd be honored if you'd consider voting for it!_

_A/N: Standard disclaimer applies – these aren't my characters, they belong to SMeyer. But what they're doing in this story does belong to me._

_True Summary (one not under 250 characters): long overdue trip back home turns into something unexpected for Bella Swan, Hollywood's It Girl. Finally, the tireless PA Alice is able to get her best friend and boss to get some much needed rest and relaxation, well, as much relaxation as one can get between hospital visits. And what does Alice's wickedly handsome surgeon of a brother got to do with things?_

_A/N #2: For anyone reading my current WiP, Nomad, please know I've not abandoned it. But as interest in it seems to be waning dramatically, I wanted to try something different to see if I could spur my muse back into gear and this is the result._

_Hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it._

* * *

It was the biggest cliché in the world, but the car really did come out of nowhere.

One minute Alice and I were singing at the top of our lungs to "Dancing Queen" pumping out of the car's speakers, the next all we saw in front of us were headlights. The world left ABBA behind and filled instead with the sound of screeching tires, scraping metal and shattering glass.

And two lone screams as the car careened into the median and started to roll.

It took an eternity for the car to come to rest again. Over and over it went like the worst carnival thrill ride. I had no conscious thoughts as we spun, I was too busy bracing for the impact I knew was coming. Then I was flying, the world was quiet...

...the ground was hard.

I had just enough consciousness to turn my head and see the car come to rest a few dozen feet away before the world shrank to a pinpoint in my vision then disappeared entirely.

I woke to find the world was still blackness surrounding me, but I could hear voices this time…voices, the sounds of radios squawking at each other and distant sirens.

_"Miss, can you hear me?"_

_"Anything?"_

_"Not much, she's moaning a little, and her eyelids flickered."_

_Long pause, the sounds of rustling._

_"Fuck, d'you know who this is?"_

_"It's an injured woman? One we should be getting on a gurney?"_

_"No, man. Look. It's Bella Swan."_

_"Get off it, what the hell would she be doing anywhere near Forks?"  
_

_"God, you don't listen to any local gossip, do you? The license we found on the driver? Belonged to Alice Cullen, the doc's daughter. She's a…well something in Hollywood. Right? "_

_"Yeah, that's right. Ang was going on about that the other day, all excited because Alice was coming home. They were neighbors before Alice left for college. She didn't say anything about Alice bringing anyone famous. And believe me, she would have."_

_"Well, she sure has hell did bring someone with her. Wow. "_

_"Mike, man, you want to focus with me a second? We need to—"_

_"Yeah, yeah, all right. Think she'll let me have her autograph, maybe a picture? Hey, maybe I can take her out for coffee."_

_"Dunno. But I'd wait until she's, you know, conscious, before you ask."_

_"Fuck off, Ben, seriously. You're such a killjoy. All right, let's get her to OMC.*"_

_"Bella? If you can hear me, this might hurt a bit, but we've got to move you to get you to the hospital, all right?"_

I blacked out completely because it hurt much more than a bit.

The next time I came around, the radio sounds were gone. They'd been replaced by the steady beeps that my mind quickly categorized thanks to many childhood ER memories. I was in a hospital.

I managed to get my eyes open, just to slits, really, before I slammed them closed again. Was I being interrogated? What reason could they possibly have for shining an ungodly bright light in my face?

"Bella? Bella can you hear me? Come on, sweetie, open your eyes again, please?"

"Alice?" I started at the sound of my voice. I sounded like a bullfrog.

I felt something cold across my lower lip and it felt wonderful. "Yeah, honey, it's me. I've got some ice for you. S'all you can have, but it'll make you stop sounding like you've gone two packs a day with Captain Nicotine.

I couldn't help it. Even in my disorientation, I laughed.

I sucked on the ice until I could swallow easily and tried my eyes again. It was still blinding.

"Lights, Alice?"

"What? Oh hell, yeah. Duh." I heard a flurry of activity, the pull of drapes and a switch flicking to the off position. "There. That should do it."

Tentatively, I raised my lids again, sighing when they opened to nothing more than a darkened hospital room.

"Better?"

I turned towards the voice with a smile. "Bett-" I started to agree, but the words froze on my lips. "Oh my God, Alice?"

Behind her, the monitor went a little crazy with the beeping as my heart rate jumped.

"Shhh," she said at once, "it's all right, Bella. I look worse than I am. Just a pair of black eyes and a cut to my forehead that needed a few stitches. It's nothing. Really."

Alice had been my best friend for too long for me to have not heard the unspoken in her voice.

"And me?"

"You're not that bad, either."

"Alice…"

"Oh all right. You're fine, but you took the worst of it. As…"

I managed a smile and finished with her. "As usual. Give me the damage."

"You've broken your femur and wrist on your left side. Cuts and lacerations everywhere, mild concussion. And your eyes look just like mine. You got thrown from the car after the first turn. The cop said something about the impact hitting the seat just wrong and wrecking the mechanism on the passenger side."

I laughed this time. "Of course it did. It's me, remember?"

Alice laughed with me and I could see the tension leave her tiny shoulders.

"You do tend to be a magnet for accidents, don't you?"

"Always have, always will." I looked down at my body, the plaster on my arm. I knew I didn't want a mirror to see my face just yet. Not that I spent a great deal of time doing that, I just wasn't ready to see myself battered and broken. Hell, I'd had a hard time with it even when it'd just been Zaf's handiwork for a scene.

I stopped my train of thought. My mind seemed a bit muzzy, whether from the concussion or painkillers, I didn't know. But something wasn't adding up. I took another visual inventory. Plaster on my arm? Check. Broken wrist. But Alice had said I broke my femur as well. I looked back down my body. Sure enough, no cast at all. Just a weird thing that looked like my leg was guest staring on the Syfy Channel.

"Alice, if I broke my femur, why isn't my leg in a cast as well?"

"Erm. Well."

I raised an eyebrow and she signed. "All right, all right. The break was…they said compound fracture. The bone was," Alice shivered, "well, it was sticking out. So they're going to have to operate on it, Bella. I'm so sorry."

I snorted. "Relax, Alice, this is hardly the first time. I've been in surgery for a break. Doubt it'll be the last time, either."

I counted up mentally, the times I'd been in a similar position in my twenty five years. I toted up four breaks (two that needed surgery to set), fifteen strains/muscle pulls/tendonitis and more stitches and bruises than I ever wanted to think about again. I was, for lack of another word, an eternal klutz. Jake was always saying I could walk across glass and find something to trip over.

Jake.

"Did you call…?"

Alice mock gasped, hand flying dramatically to her chest. "I'd hardly be a worthwhile PA if I didn't call him the second I regained consciousness, now, would I? I'm actually offended that you'd even ask." She added a small sniff.

"My heartiest apologies, O She Who Keeps My Shit Together," I grinned back.

She kept her voice aloof, but I could hear the smile in her voice. "I'll think about forgiving you. Maybe. Of course, I was the one driving and am partially responsible at least for you being here, so might be we've just tipped the scales back to even and not put you in my debt."

"Alice, this was an accident. I'm not letting you take the blame for it, not at all."

She waved me off, and I could tell she wasn't all the way appeased.

"Come on, look at it this way. You promised Jake you'd make sure that I rested, now your job's even easier. I doubt I'll be walking much on this any time soon."

"True! And I can take all the credit."

"There you go," I laughed, then sobered when the door opened and a nurse in bright green scrubs came in.

"Good evening, Miss Swan, I've come to give you your sedative before we take you in to surgery. Your doctor will be a along in a few minutes, he had a phone consult with another doctor."

I noticed by the way she didn't meet my eyes at all that she knew precisely who I was, but was trying not to make a big deal of it and just treat me like any other patient. I appreciated that more than I could say. She added the sedative to my IV line and left with a smile and a quick flick of her eyes towards mine.

We were both distracted when Alice laughed. "Phone consult. Did he tell you to say that? What he's really doing is talking to Dad, and probably Mom, calming them down about me being fine."

I turned to face her. "Your brother is my doctor?"

She nodded. "He was on his way home when Dad called him about the accident and he headed right back here, thinking it was me all banged up. Don't worry, Bella, he's an excellent surgeon. Keeps getting courted by the big hospitals in Seattle, but he's too happy here to budge."

My mouth opened and closed several times, but words were starting to be harder to find. My tongue felt thick and my eyes started to swim. I knew that feeling only too well.

"Ohfuck, th'sedatively is…" I waved my hand in front of my face…then became enthralled with my fingers. How could I not? There were at least twice as many as I'd had before. I looked over towards Alice and giggled. There were two of her, too. But I didn't remember her being quite so…pink before.

"Alice, you're all pink," I told her.

At least, that's what I thought I told her. Apparently, the only thing that came out was the color.

"Yes, Bella, pink." Alice laughed; she knew the drill, knew me on heavy pain killers. I guess I wasn't much different on sedatives.

"No, you. Pink." I tried to get the idea across, but if the way Alice was patting my hand was any indication, I'd left English officially behind me.

"All right, Bella, we're going to wheel you down now."

I felt Alice's lips kiss my forehead, her hand squeezing mine. "I'll be right here when you come out of it, I promise."

I tried to nod and was fairly sure I failed at it. I probably looked more like a bobble-head doll than a human.

I closed my eyes as the gurney went through the hallways for fear motion sickness would set in and I'd cap my evening of car accidents and surgery with puking all over myself. I didn't open them again until we stopped at an elevator. I turned my head to look down towards where we'd come. Was Alice still pink...?

I tried to focus, to see her. Instead, I saw…

I blinked. Then blinked again.

An angel?

Wasn't there a movie once, about angels hanging around in hospitals, waiting to escort the recently dead to heaven? I thought there was, but my fuzzy mind couldn't come up with anything except Meg Ryan's face.

I tried to focus on the apparition down the hallway, tried squinting my eyes to see if I could see wings, a halo, something on the…entity down the corridor. I didn't. But I could have sworn…

My eyes closed again under the strain of trying to make sense of the nonsense and drifted out of consciousness again. This time, when I opened them, I knew I was in the operating room. People in masks, the beeping machines, the cold table beneath me.

"We're just about ready to go, Bella," an ethereal voice said above me. "We're putting the general anesthetic in now. Just breathe deeply and it'll be over before you know it."

I had a flashback to earlier. Was I wrong before? Was there an angel here?

I looked up and saw a masked face looking back at me with the greenest pair of eyes I'd ever seen in my life. They couldn't be real, there was no way.

"Angel…," I whispered before the meds took me away completely.

* * *

I'd fallen asleep to beeping and that's the sound that woke me up again. A steady beep, beep, beep filling the near soundlessness of wherever I was. I knew I wasn't home. I took an inventory without opening my eyes – smell, touch, sound – all confirmed that I was in the hospital.

Hospital. Surgery. Broken femur. Angel.

My eyes flew open wide and I looked around. Was he still there?

I snorted and called myself every sort of fool. Of course there wasn't an angel here. I'd been doped on some seriously heavy drugs. Hadn't I insisted that Alice had turned pink? I shook my head. I really was a light weight. One would think that with all the exposure I'd had to hospitals and pain killers, I'd have built up some sort of tolerance…and one would be wrong.

Now positive I had not taken complete leave of my senses, I took a mental inventory to help bring me out of the general anesthetic. I'd always hated the disorientation and had early on devised this as an antidote. It made me feel like I was back in elementary school, giving an autobiography presentation, but it worked for me.

I was Bella Swan, Bella being a shortened version of the more formal Isabella that I'd never felt suited me. I had one surviving parent, Renee; my father having died shortly before I started high school in the line of duty. I was an only child.

Always close to my father, I'd fallen into depression after he died. My mother had tried everything she could to break me from the downward spiral, but nothing had worked. My doctors convinced her after two years' efforts that relocating us entirely might be the only way to break the cycle; to help me stop dwelling on the places Charlie wasn't anymore. For reasons I still didn't understand (on my more whimsical days I credited fate), she'd chosen Los Angeles.

My mother's effervescent personality had helped get her a job teaching kindergarten at a prestigious private school for the performing arts, and her employment there garnered me free tuition. I remember laughing when she told me, because we both recalled only too clearly my attempt at learning ballet when I'd been six. Disaster was an understatement.

With no alternatives open to us (the art and music options were too ridiculous for me to even contemplate), she'd enrolled me in the dramatics track.

We had both been shocked when drama came as naturally to me as breathing. I'd found an ability, one teacher had actually used the word gift. God only knew where it had come from, but I was able to immerse myself in character so deeply that for the time I was onstage, skittish, shy Bella was replaced with anyone from Lady Macbeth to Blanche DuBois to Gwendolen Fairfax to Emily Webb. Comedy or drama, period or current; I played them all and played them well.

I'd been contacted by an agent before I'd graduated high school; his daughter attended the school as well, but had turned him away. I wasn't interested in acting full time; I was going to college, get my degree in English, become a teacher, and go on with a perfectly normal life. Acting had just been something to do in high school.

Regardless of those lofty ideals, I'd ended up trying out for parts in the UCLA Drama department before Freshman year was half over. Much as I loved my English classes, I missed acting. A lot. Some parts I got, some I didn't; and when I didn't, I worked backstage, learning all the ins and outs of theater. By junior year I'd changed my major officially from English to Theater and set the course of my life.

"Bella?"

The voice startled me back to the present. My eyes fluttered open, glad the lights didn't seem as piercing as they had earlier. "Y-yes?" I croaked. My throat felt like Death Valley. I turned my head towards the sound of the voice, and recognized it from the operating room.

The angel.

I willed my eyes to see through the fog of lessening anesthesia and focus. It took a maddeningly long time.

"Bella?" he asked again.

I tried to clear my throat, but there was still a desert in there. I nodded instead and pointed to the source of the problem.

I saw the fuzzy outline of his head move, I assumed it was a nod. "Jessica, could we get some ice chips here?"

"Of course. Right away, doctor," came the snappy reply from across the room. I don't know why, but I got the feeling she'd have responded with the same enthusiasm if asked to hack off her own arm.

I didn't scoff too much, however, because her haste to please meant that I had cold, soothing liquid down my throat and I could swallow without it feeling like someone had replaced my throat lining with glass.

"Thanks," I said after the fourth piece had melted away.

"You're very welcome."

My eyes had finally cleared enough to see him without blurs…and I understood exactly why I'd mistaken him for an angel. He was, without doubt, the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in my life.

I remembered the eyes straight off, hard not to when the rest of him had been hidden behind a surgical mask. Now that I saw the rest – well, there were men back home who would give up their royalties to achieve this level of beauty.

I tried to figure out what it was about his face, but there wasn't one thing. It wasn't just the eyes, the straight line of his nose, the full lips or rock-solid jaw. It wasn't the wavy reddish-brown hair that looked as though he'd just stepped off a speedboat. It wasn't any one thing. It was the whole package. The smile brightening his green eyes just added to the package.

It was almost...dazzling.

"Is everything all right?" he asked.

"Yes," I smiled back in my best and most casual voice. "I was just thinking you favored your sister very much." And he did. Alice was clear in the line of his nose as well as the shape of his lips and smile.

He laughed. "So I've been told, almost from the moment she arrived. We've never been formally introduced, though. I'm Edward Cullen."

We hadn't, no. Between my schedule (which Alice's usually shared) and his, he'd never made it to Los Angeles to visit his sister at a time I was able to meet him as well.

With a smile, I tried to raise my arm to shake his hand. When it flopped feebly under the blanket, I laughed. "Apparently not all the drugs are gone yet. But it's a pleasure to meet you finally, Edward. Alice talks about you all the time."

He laughed at that and I was entranced. I was starting to feel like I was back in high school again. Though it hadn't made an appearance yet, I was almost positive there was a giggle somewhere on the horizon.

"I can imagine she does," he said, the laughter still lighting his green eyes.

"Almost as much as your other brother, Emmet, but you're her favorite."

"I shouldn't care about that," he said on another laugh, "but it gets under Emmet's skin, so I'll enjoy it for that reason alone."

I'd heard story upon story from Alice over the two years we'd been together and I knew the family was almost unnaturally close. Little Alice, nearly ten years younger than the youngest of her big brothers, who ruled the pair of them like a kitten leading a pack of wild dogs.

It was one of the reasons I'd decided to come up here with her. I wanted to meet the mythical family at last.

"Excuse me, doctor, but Miss Swan's room is ready," the same nurse from before had come over. She rested her hand in what could only be a possessive manner on his shoulder, and he did nothing to displace it.

Edward, I noticed, looked a little startled. "Really, already?"

"Yes, doctor," she confirmed. "I can wheel her down there if you're ready to go."

"That's fine, but I'll come along. I wasn't able to inform Bella about her operation yet, or her prognosis."

"But you've been over here ten minutes at least, you never…"

"Thank you, Jessica, but I'm sure Miss Swan would rather rest in her room and not in the depressingly quiet recovery room."

"Of course," she said, clearly stung by Edward's abrupt tone. She then busied herself with getting my gurney in motion.

Edward walked beside me through the recovery room doors. I could hear a squeaking as we walked, one I couldn't place right away. Until I remembered the sound from another place, a movie set, one scene in a hospital with an officious little prick of a co-star who was almost anal in his attention to detail…and insistence those details be followed

It killed me now, over a year later, to find that he'd been right.

I looked up at Edward. "Are you seriously wearing Crocs?"

His booming laugh echoed down the corridors and didn't stop until we reached a private room with flowers and balloons already on the table. I knew without doubt they were from Alice and Jake. He waited through the painful process of getting me from the gurney to the more permanent bed, and the even more pleasant task of getting my leg hooked to the device that would keep it elevated and ensure that I wouldn't sleep well for the near future.

Nurse Jessica tried to linger in the room, fussing with my sheets and showing me the bed controls. Edward was polite but firm after her third explanation of how to recline my mattress and she reluctantly nodded and left, wheeling the gurney along with her.

I waited until she and her travelling bed had gone before looking back up at Edward. "So, really, Crocs?"

He laughed again and took the empty seat next to my bed. "Yes, Crocs. I saw the nurses all walking around wearing them and curiosity got the best of me. I bought a pair and tried them one day. I've never worn anything else on rounds or during surgery since. They're that comfortable."

I chuckled. "I wasn't poking fun," I said, but my laughter belied my words.

"Yes, you were," he laughed back. "But I've got a notoriously thick skin when it comes to my footwear, so it's all right."

We smiled at each other after that and a silence fell. I got the impression we were both searching for something else to talk about…something besides my leg which would mean he had no reason to linger. Unfortunately, neither of us was able to.

I decided not to think about why I'd want him lingering.

"Right. So, your leg. I saw from your records that this isn't your first time with a cast," he started, and I didn't have to ask where he'd gotten my medical records. Alice was just that efficient.

"Not even close, no."

There was an odd look in his eyes when I said that, but it was gone so fast I started to wonder if I'd imagined it. Then I didn't have time to think about it any longer, because Edward was giving me the rundown of my injury, and what he'd done to correct it. I heard about the rod now inside my thigh bone and the screws keeping it all in place. I managed, barely, to keep from wincing in phantom pain. Phantom because I knew I had some heavy painkillers on board right now and wouldn't have felt it if Annie Wilkes from _Misery_ paid me a visit.

"The upside of the rod procedure is that we'll have you up and mobile in a few days' time. Maybe as much as a week, but I doubt that with the shape you're in."

I laughed. "That's right, I'm in the eternal quest to keep ahead of the ten pounds the camera puts on just like everyone else in LA."

Edward frowned. "I hope not to excess. Too much exercise can have just as much…"

I stopped him by reaching over and touching his hand. "I was kidding. I run a few times a week, work with a trainer the other days, and don't have ice cream for breakfast. I inherited my Dad's metabolism, which pisses off a vast majority of my friends, I don't mind telling you."

He relaxed and smiled again. I was very glad. I had a feeling I could watch this man smile for a few hours, or days, and not get tired of seeing it.

"Well, that's good then. Everything in moderation and all that," he paused and chuckled. "I must be tired; I'm sounding entirely too much like my father for comfort. I should be off anyway, let you get some rest. I'm certain you'll be inundated with visitors tomorrow."

I groaned. "Oh God, I hope not."

He cocked his head, confused. "Well, I can tell my parents you'd rather not, but they were quite concerned to hear you'd been hurt."

My jaw dropped. "No!" I shook my head for emphasis. "I mean, I'd love to see your parents, of course. I haven't since they visited Alice last year. I just," I stopped because I could hear my cheeks heating, "I'd just rather no one else know I was here, if that's all right?"

"That's been taken care of, as I understand it," Edward reassured me. "Alice saw to it you were admitted under a false name and I believe she's berating someone to hold the press release until you're released. Words along the lines of 'keeping the vultures from circling until the carrion is moved.'" He smiled down at me. "I'm assuming you're the carrion?"

"Always the flatterer, your sister." I couldn't help but smile. "God, what would I ever do without her?"

Edward laughed. "If we could have picked a better career for her, we couldn't have done it. Bossing people around and telling people where to go. Match made in heaven, I'd say."

"Not going to get any argument from me."

We smiled at each other for a long moment; it wasn't an awkward silence, but it did stretch out quite a long time. Finally, Edward broke it.

"I should be going," he said, and stood up this time.

"All right," I replied and tried to keep my face bright even though I really didn't want him to go yet. "I'll see you tomorrow, though, right?" No force of will could have kept the eager-puppy sound from my voice, so I didn't really try.

"Of course," he said with a smile.

Then he reached over and took my hand. I'm sure he intended it to be nothing more than a reassuring squeeze; it wasn't his fault I felt it all the way up my arm and through every nerve ending. My eyes flew to his, trying to see if he'd felt it too. Again, I thought I saw a flicker of something there, but as before, it was gone before I could be sure.

I either needed to get off of the painkillers or he needed to react slower.

"I'm glad," I said once I'd restarted my language centers.

He had just released my hand when the door to my room opened with a crash.

"Bells? Bella?"

I turned to look at the disheveled figure standing at my door and smiled. "Hiya, Jake."

* * *

*Olympic Medical Center


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Standard disclaimer – just me messing around in SMeyer's sandbox; this fic is a non-profit organization_

_A/N#2: Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to review. Your words are, as ever, the motivation that keeps my fingers on the keys; thank you for leaving one even though the only thing you get in return is the knowledge that you've made the author grin like an idiot. Also thanks to those that have put the story on Alert and/or marked it as a Favorite. I hope you continue to enjoy reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it!_

* * *

"Bells? Bella?"

I turned to look at the disheveled figure standing at my door and smiled. "Hiya, Jake."

"You're all right?"

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You mean apart from the fact I'm just out of surgery and lying in a hospital after being thrown from a moving car onto the asphalt?"

Jake looked immediately chagrined and I laughed.

"I'm fine, you big oaf. Christ, you look worse than I do, and that's saying something if the fact that Alice winces every time she looks at me is any indication."

"You look beautiful, Bells."

I smiled. "And you're as full of it as you always are, Jacob Black. Christ, you're the only Native American I know with an Irishman's affinity towards blarney."

He laughed at my familiar comment. "I keep telling you my mom was part Irish."

He was by my side the next second, his big arms wrapped around me as gently as he could given I was hooked to machines and my leg was doing a Rockettes impression. If the Rockette's leg was frozen in mid-air, and the Rockette was also really short.

"I was so worried about you," he said close to my ear.

"I'll just leave you then. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."

I looked up just in time to see Edward at the door, hand on the door handle. I wanted to stop him. The cry of "no!" was forming on my lips. I wasn't ready to stop talking to Edward. Would he come back for more than just checking on my leg? The very idea that he wouldn't made my stomach feel like it was filled with lead.

Then Jake stood, breaking into my internal monologue and stopped Edward before I could even form the words.

With his hand still clasping mine like a lifeline, he extended his other hand towards Edward. God the man was, like, freakishly tall. He only had to move a few steps away from my bedside for his arm to span the distance. "You're her doctor?"

"I am," Edward agreed with a nod. "Well, for the leg and wrist. The rest was seen to by the ER docs downstairs. Edward Cullen," he added when their hands clasped.

"Jacob Black," he returned the greeting. "Cullen? Any relation to Shortie?" Jake asked, looking at me.

I nodded. "Her big brother."

I could see a smile at the corner's of Edward's eyes over the nickname. "She lets you get away with calling her that?"

"No," I said on a smirk. "He only calls her that when she's not in striking distance."

"You're a riot, Bells." He scowled at me before turning back to Edward. "Still, I'm grateful, man. Thanks. Bella's...she's..."

"Jake, it's my leg," I interrupted him. "It's not like I was going towards the light or anything."

Edward, apparently, was used to such gushing because he just smiled and shook Jake's hand. "It was my pleasure, truly. I'll just leave you to your reunion. Bella," he said with a nod in my direction and then he was out the door.

I tried not to slump, or look like I was sulking. I doubt I was very successful.

Jake turned back to me with a grin. "Well, he's not bad on the eyes, is he?"

With Jake's teasing, the sulk immediately shrank away as my impossible face started to heat up. Any hope I had that the painkillers would keep me from blushing was for nothing. Especially if Jake's widening grin was any indication. Fuck.

"Oh, really?"

"Stop it. He's a nice guy. Good personality under that gorgeous face and he knows he's a doctor and hasn't confused that with demigod. Or the big guy himself. Down to earth, good sense of humor. " I clamped my lips shut before my runaway lips could continue the praise. Jake was already looking at me funny. "Besides, he's Alice's brother," I tacked on for no reason I understood.

"Did I say anything?"

"You didn't have to. You have the same look in your eyes; the one you got when you saw me checking out Tyler's ass at the Golden Globes. And we all know how that fiasco turned out."

He sighed. "Yeah, not the best move, was it? Still, he was pretty to look at and the press loved it."

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one he wanted to," I stopped and shuddered. "Well, we're not going to go into his twisted little perversions. Those are best left on the internet and not in my bedroom." I could still remember him innocently suggesting that he'd been a very bad boy and maybe I should spank him...then showing me the variety of implements he had on hand for just that purpose. I think I left skid marks on the carpet when I left his house.

"You ever going to out the creep?"

"Nah. There's no reason to. He's an all right sort, he was a good dancer, opened doors and he loved going to Disneyland with me. I think once his embarrassment over the offer goes down, we might actually be friends again."

"I'm still trying to figure out how Hollywood hasn't gotten you yet, Bells. Turned you into a diva at best or a backstabbing bitch at the worst."

I laughed. "You've met my mother, right?"

Everyone knew that Renee and I had a very close relationship, even now. She was still at the Academy, still teaching her kindergarteners full time...and following every aspect of my career part time. She didn't interfere in it, no telling me this part was too risqué, that part was beneath me; more she made sure that I was still comporting myself as the young woman she'd raised.

I remembered once when the tabs hit with a story I'd been caught with a well-known skank and arrested for possession of cocaine. Of course, I remembered it. Renee had freaked out when she'd seen the report on a gossip site and then called read me the riot act for twenty straight minutes. Jake tried to talk her down, then I did. Nothing worked until we put the police officer on the line and he assured her that I'd brought said skank into the hospital after finding her passed out in an alley, doped up on some God awful concoction. As she was out on probation, the cops had to be called. One pap had seen me, a hospital, a known drug user and a cop...and went from there.

"If she even thought I'd leaked anything to the press about Tyler's predilections with malice aforethought? She'd..."

"What, put you in time out?"

"Frankly, I don't know what she'd do. And I'm almost afraid to find out." There was no almost about it. Renee on a tear was something scarier than even Wes Craven could come up with.

"Speaking of Mom, were you able to get a hold of her? I've heard it's a nightmare trying to reach a cruise ship." I'd finally convinced my mother to take a vacation, a real one and not just a week off school where she attempted to reorganize her perpetually cluttered house. So naturally, this was the time for me to land myself in the hospital. Christ, I'd never get her out of town again.

"Not yet. Alice told me it wasn't life threatening, and I wanted to see you for myself before I called her," he paused, "because you know that's the first thing she'd ask is if I'd seen you with my own eyes."

"True enough," I nodded.

"Alice said the ship docks tomorrow anyway, so you can call her when you wake up, assure her you're fine and somehow convince her to stay on that ship and not fly home."

"Only one way to accomplish that and we both know it."

"Alice," we said together. If anyone was a match for Renee, it was my best friend. I swear to God she could sell an Inuit and in-ground pool. "I'll hold that in reserve. Hopefully I won't need to sic Alice on her. Maybe she'll listen to me for a change."

A sudden thought hit me and I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Hang on, how did you even get in here?" I knew it was late, or rather, very early. Certainly nowhere near visiting hours. "Hospitals are usually pretty anal about only letting family in after hours."

Jake grinned. "The nurses know who you are, and knew who I was by sight, so they let me in without question. Must've been my winning smile or the charming way I have about me."

I shook my head, trying not to groan over it. They were clearly following the tabloid version of the story of my life, especially if they knew Jake. I tried very hard not to sigh. "You're really not that charming, you know."

He leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Yeah, I am. And you know it. Now I'm going to sit over here and be all official agent type earning my ten percent, and you lie over there and try to sleep. If you sound like death when you call your mother, I'll be the one getting verbal strips ripped off my body."

"Nag, nag, nag," I said and let my eyes drift shut. It really had been a long day. "At least I'll be resting like you insisted," I muttered.

"Next time, Bells, don't take it quite so literally?" I heard him say just before consciousness and I ceased to co-exist.

* * *

_"My God, did you see how tall he is? I mean, he always looks huge compared to her but in real life? He had to duck down to get in the doorway."_

_"He was so worried, didn't you see that? Oh God. I can't believe we actually saw him; that she's really here."_

_"Too bad we can't tell anyone."_

_"Are you sure those things were real? I mean they looked real and everything."_

_"With the chance of being sued and losing our credentials for breach of patient confidentiality, I'm not willing to risk it. One of my nursing school friends works in a hospital in Seattle and she has to sign them all the time when famous people come in. Non-disclosure agreements."_

_"Yeah, you're right. Not worth the risk, I guess. Still, I'd love to be able to post to the site that I saw them here together and the look on his face. He looked horrible."_

_"You would be too if girlfriend had been in such a horrific crash."_

And that's where my lingering on the conversation I'd overheard between the floor nurses had ended. Until it cycled back and replayed in my memory yet again.

Why? Why hadn't I just left the floor, ditched my scrubs and gone home? Why had I chosen to update her chart and eavesdrop?

Because I was clearly a supreme idiot.

Even more so for wishing I'd been able to continue a doomed flirtation with someone who was obviously just being a genuinely nice person and not in any way returning said flirtation.

Damn it.

I'll admit I didn't follow my sister's employer very carefully. I'd seen her movies, of course (all right, I'd seen, and owned a copy of, every movie she'd made and seen several of them numerous times). Apart from that, though, my life kept me too busy to follow the gossip and speculation that seemed to hound everyone in that business to some degree. I know Mom sometimes went to the websites when she couldn't sleep, mostly to check on Alice. Nothing more than that.

Besides, Alice continually told us that 99% of it was sheer bullshit. It was nothing more than fledgling writers hoping to find a way off the gossip beat and into something more substantial at best...or, at worst, trying to be the next Perez Hilton. As if that was really a career goal one should aspire to.

With the limited free time I had, I wasn't about to spend it surfing websites for gossip. And if I was interested, all I had to do was listen to the nurses at the station during rounds. They couldn't seem to get enough of it.

The fact that I listened a little harder when Bella Swan's name came up didn't mean anything.

I hadn't, apparently, listened very well though. Even when I'd been trying to. Tonight I'd learned from Lauren's yammering that there had been speculation for the last year at least about Bella's relationship with her agent. Speculation of the "are they or aren't they" type. That seemed to be so prevalent in the gossip world that I didn't pay it any mind at all.

Until now.

If what I saw in her room was any indication, those rumors were true. I'd seen a hundred different loved one reunions in my time as a doctor and the worry on the other man's face when he walked in, the relief when he saw her, the gratitude when he'd shaken my hand, all added up to a man who loved the woman in the bed.

So rumor confirmed.

I decided not to think about why that bothered me. Or why the idea of leaving him with her in that hospital room sent my stomach to twisting.

_Put it out of your head, Edward._

A knock on my window had me sitting straight up and looking around. I was home already? How had that happened? Usually the drive from Port Angeles to my house in Forks felt like forever.

"Edward? Why are you sitting out here staring at the steering wheel?"

I had no trouble hearing Alice through the window. Hell, I'd have no trouble hearing her from across the state. She had _that_ kind of voice. Acting as if I hadn't heard her at all, though, I shut off the engine and pulled myself from the car. "What was that?"

She gave me a speculative eyebrow. "I asked why you were sitting in the car, staring at your steering wheel like it held the answers to the universe?"

"Good song on the radio," I said with a shrug and pressed the button to lock the Volvo behind me.

Alice appeared to buy my excuse, but that was no real indication. She had a way of luring you into false acceptance and then pouncing like a lion on fresh meat when your guard was down.

Emmett and I had long since stopped trying to decipher the inner workings of Alice's mind. Early in my med school days, I'd toyed with the idea of specializing in Neurology for just that purpose, but brain surgeons were all assholes, so I'd gone for bones instead.

Besides, Alice was just Alice. There really was no other explanation.

"You settled in all right then?" I asked as we crossed the threshold and I hung my jacket up on the peg by the door.

"All unpacked and everything. Thanks again for letting me stay here. I mean, I love Mom and Dad, and I'm glad we'll have a good long visit this time. But if I stayed there? It would be one constant Look from Mom about why I haven't settled down, then a constant barrage of am I dating anyone questions and casual references to the woman in her quilting circle with a son who's single..."

"Yeah, well, that woman also has daughters, apparently, and they keep getting shoved under our noses as well. You really should be over there doing your share of matchmaking time."

Alice just grinned and I knew then that she wouldn't. She'd leave her poor brothers to the mercies of our desperate –for-grandchildren mother. Little creep. Pity she was so adorable we had no choice but to love her to pieces.

"How was Bella when she woke up?" I'd called Alice as soon as I'd come out of surgery, so she already knew the operation had been a success.

Thankfully I'd been expecting the question, so my face and voice registered nothing but clinical doctor detachment. I hoped.

"She was just fine, a little disoriented, but that's to be expected. Her...Jake arrived just as I was leaving her room."

She relaxed. "Good, I'm glad he made it."

"She was very happy to see him," I commented casually, walking us back to the kitchen with the full intention of grabbing a beer to take upstairs with me so I could unwind from this hellishly long day. I was hoping again, this time that it didn't seem like I was fishing.

I guessed it didn't, or Alice was just in an information-share mood. Either was plausible, and as I got results, I didn't really care why.

"Yeah, well, she would. They've been together since the beginning. He caught her senior performance at UCLA when he was there visiting a friend and convinced her to take him as her agent even though he'd never done more than help a friend's band get a nightclub gig. Bella agreed anyway, against everyone's advice." Alice laughed. "But that man doesn't know the meaning of No, and haunted every casting call he could, got to know directors and producers by figuring out where they hung out, and crashing parties by blending in. He got her parts, got her seen, and next thing he knew – he wasn't crashing them anymore, he was going to those parties by his own invitation. Their fame grew hand in hand. Now he's turning away clients rather than chasing after them."

I uncapped the bottle and took a sip. Damn it. Couldn't he at least be an asshole? Some vampire bleeding Bella dry or something?

"Sounds like you like him a lot," I commented, already walking towards the stairs.

"I do, very much. He's about as much a rarity in this business as Bella is. They both not only know what character means, they both have some. And the good kind, not the 'fuck over whomever you can to get ahead' sort."

"Bella's lucky to have him, then," I remarked, looking at the stairs as though they were the promised land. Anything to get away from Alice's constant prattle about Jake the Wonder Agent. I knew I had only myself to blame...I'd asked after all. That fact did nothing to improve my mood.

"They're lucky to have each other, I think," Alice said when we reached the landing.

Thankfully, she didn't notice the way my hand tightened on the bottle.

"Right, well, it's been a long day, kiddo, and your ancient brother needs to hit the horizontal." I needed to get away from her before she decided to treat me with how wonderful Jake was to Bella in other ways.

"All right," she said and her little mouth opened in a yawn. That was a good thing. If she was tired, she wouldn't try to linger. "What time are you going into the hospital tomorrow?"

I closed my eyes and tried to think. "My rounds are at ten. So I'll leave here at nine, little before so I can grab breakfast at Emily's."

"Emily's!" Alice's eyes lit up. "That's great. I've been craving that since my last time here. Does she still do those huge ass muffins?"

I grinned. "Yep, big enough to take the place of two meals and an after work snack."

"Perfect. How about we meet in the kitchen at quarter of?"

I leaned in and kissed the top of her head. "Sounds good to me, Midge." I chuckled, using the nickname she hated from childhood, when Emmett and I christened her Midget. "It's good to have you here."

Her little arms wrapped around me. "Thanks, Dard," she smiled back, using my own hated nickname, the one used as a toddler when unable to get my whole name out. "See you in the morning."

I watched her practically skip to her room, waited until the door shut, and walked down the other end of the hallway to the master.

I set my beer bottle down on the nightstand with one hand and flipped the television remote with the other. I stripped off and climbed into bed, leaving my clothes where they landed. Having the TV on was never really about what program was on. I just needed the ambient noise to fall asleep. After effects, I knew, of the intern/residency days in the ER when sleep was something carved out in stolen moments, no matter what chaos surrounded you.

Ever since, I'd been unable fall asleep in complete silence at all.

I pushed the pillows up against the headboard, grabbed my beer bottle in one hand, the remote in the other and started to surf for something innocuous to watch as I dropped off to sleep.

Because fate has a sick and twisted sense of humor, I flipped to a channel with one of Bella's movies playing.

I groaned when my flat screen was nothing more than her pale, pixie face smiling straight at me. I told myself repeatedly to push the up button on the remote. Or the down. Either one, didn't matter. Just change it, just change the damned channel. My fingers didn't feel like listening, apparently. Neither did my hand, because it actually set down the remote.

Resigned, I finished my beer and watched the last of the movie. It was one of my favorites anyway so why the hell not?

Eventually my eyes drifted shut and the exhaustion of the day caught up with me.

I opened my eyes with a start, looking around my room, trying to figure out what had alerted me. There was an odd light filtering through the full window leading out to the second floor patio. Was it moonlight? It must be. Even though this was Forks and moon sightings here were about as rare as rain in the desert.

Then I saw something through the dim light, the silhouette of a woman standing on my patio. Confused, I climbed out of bed and padded over in the boxers I always slept in. The sliding glass window opened soundlessly, but still the woman seemed to hear me. Her body, clad in a flowing white lace gown that left very little to the imagination, turned toward me.

"Edward," she said, her voice breathy and a little lower than I was used to.

"Yes?" I croaked out. My body was proving itself to be fully functional and utterly male. I started to wonder how long I could function with the entirety of the blood supply to my brain being diverted to my groin.

"You're the angel, aren't you?" she asked with a grin, and walked towards me.

"I don't know what you mean," I said. And then I ceased to think at all because her small body was pressed against mine, breasts skimming my bare chest. The material of her gown was so insubstantial I could feel nipples pressing against my skin with ever motion she made.

"Don't you?"

"No, I don't," I said on a rough exhale. Her hands had somehow found their way to my hips, her fingertips just inside the waistband.

"Isn't that a pity?" She said softly.

"Wh-why is it a pity?"

"Because I have this thing for angels," she said.

And then her hand slipped into my boxers, wrapped tight around my dick...

...and my alarm went off.

My eyes opened in shock. I felt like I'd been electrocuted. I looked wildly around my bedroom. It was light, or as light as morning in Forks ever got with its near-continual cloud cover. No moonlight, no diaphanous Bella standing on my patio.

No warm, strong hand in my pants.

Just me, alone in my bed, with the most raging hard-on I'd woken up with since high school, when girls paraded themselves through my dreams every night.

"Fuck," I said as I slumped backwards only my bed. The second my eyes closed, I could almost feel Bella's hand wrapped around my dick again. How pathetic was I? Lying in bed having sick fantasies about my patient, for Christ's sake.

My eyes opened and I looked towards my bathroom.

I sighed. If you're going to be pathetic, might as well go all the way.

Walking in the waddle of the painfully aroused, I made my way into the bathroom, turned the shower to scalding. I stripped off my boxers and tossed them into the hamper. I stepped into the stall, let the hot water beat over my skin and grabbed up my body wash.

I didn't even attempt to pretend I didn't have an ulterior motive for this shower. No soaping up of my body with an unintentional brush of hand against balls to illicit the right reaction. My slick hand went straight for my hard-enough-to-pound-nails dick and started a slow, even motion.

Because I was determined to begin my day with the ultimate in pathetic loserdom, I closed my eyes and went back into my dream. The memories came back to me at once, as if waiting for me. Then it was Bella's hand wrapped around me, I could almost feel her breasts against me again, nipples burning points into my chest.

Then my overactive imagination decided to kick it up a notch and my mind's eye saw her head lower, felt her nipples scrape my belly, then her lips wrap around my cock in one slow, swallow.

I came with a grunt and a groan all over the shower wall, raising my free hand to brace against the wall to support now shaking body.

"Goodfuckingchrist," I croaked out while the aftershocks trembled through me.

Eventually I got myself together enough to wash hair and body, avoiding my oversensitive and recovering dick, and stepped from the shower. I wrapped a towel around my hips and cleared off a spot on the mirror to look at my own reflection.

I tried to see any sign that I had not only spent my night having dirty dreams the likes of which I hadn't had since I was a teenager, but that I'd jerked off in the shower because of them.

It was one of the few times I was very glad that Orwell got it wrong and that the Thought Police had not yet become a part of our reality. If they had, I would have been on my way to jail before I even got my pants on.

Fantasizing about my patient was bad enough. Fantasizing about America's Sweetheart was quite another.

It was going to be a long fucking day.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Standard disclaimer time. Characters aren't mine, I'm just messing with them a bit. What they do in this story does belong to me, though._

_A/N#2: Thanks millions and lots of love to everyone who's taken a moment to leave a review to let me know what you thought, guesses over what's to come. I get these huge, moronic smiles on my face when I get review alerts on my phone. So thanks to you all – you're every one of you made of awesomesauce. Thanks also to those that have made the story a favorite or put it on alert. I'm glad you're enjoying it as well.  
_

* * *

I'd thought before I'd even left the bathroom that it was going to be a long, fucking day. I'd never imagined that long day would start before I had even left my house. In retrospect, it shouldn't have surprised me. After all, I'd been the one to invite her to stay.

When I'd grumped my way into the kitchen, my only hope had been a quiet cup of coffee and a feeble attempt to wash away what I'd just done with a quiet caffeine fix before heading into the hospital.

I don't think I could have been more off base if I tried.

Not even in my worst nightmares could I have conjured up the sight that greeted me. Eighties punk music was blasting from my kitchen iPod dock, my sister was on a step-stool, and the contents of my cupboards were spread out over every available flat surface.

I didn't know if it was better or worse that she shut down the music when she saw me – it felt uncomfortably like going deaf.

"Morning, big brother! Sleep well? God, your cabinets are a mess, Edward. I tried to find coffee and couldn't come up with it anywhere. Did you know you had mac and cheese up here that expired two years ago? When was the last time you looked through these?"

My only answer was to shoot her a glare and stumble along on my previous trajectory.

There was an aroma of coffee in the air, so despite her prattle, she had managed to find it. Ah, yes. There it was, sitting in the carafe, warm and waiting for me. The dark liquid of life, nectar of the gods. I moved on auto-pilot, barely registering Alice's continued babbling. I poured a cup in my favorite mug and sipped, eyes closed.

Bliss.

"You didn't hear anything I said, did you?"

"Not a word," I lied, eyes still closed, enjoying my morning hit.

"It's a good thing I've got a thick skin where you two are concerned," she said and affected a sniffle, "or I'd have gone into a shell of depression long ago over such neglect from older brothers who are supposed to love and support me."

That got a laugh out of me. Well, that and the fact the caffeine was finally hitting my bloodstream.

I walked over to her and chucked her under the chin. "Nice try, Midge. But the tears haven't gained any influence just because you've been off living in Hollywood the last few years."

Her mouth quirked into a frown, then she stuck her tongue out at me. I used the silence of her mini-pout to take a better look around my now-destroyed kitchen.

"How have you even been able to do all of this? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were in a car accident yesterday, right?"

Alice shrugged. "I'm a quick healer, you know that. Two Advil early this morning and I'm feeling fine now," she said, then added a petulant sigh, "_Doctor_ Cullen who isn't my doctor at all as my bones weren't injured at all."

I laughed and kissed her forehead. "All right, point taken,. You know I had to ask, though."

"Yeah, I do. Because you're just like Dad and he already called this morning to do the same thing."

I laughed. Of course he had.

I looked around the kitchen and sighed. Sometimes surrender was the only viable option. "If you want to rearrange my kitchen, go right ahead. Just do me a favor and leave me a map so I can find things later?"

Alice gasped, smile widening and small hands smacking my arm. "You did hear me," she accused.

"Hard not to. That voice pierces."

"You're hysterical, Edward, really. You should take that act on the road."

I managed, just barely, to not return the one tongue salute she'd given me.

I looked around the half disassembled kitchen and then back at my sister. "Does this mean you're not coming in with me today? Or is the process of deconstruction going to be an ongoing one?"

"Ongoing," she answered unapologetically. "I've got to get everything out first. Then decide where it flows best."

She said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world; and that I'd been an idiot not to know that.

And frankly, I was. Our mother, bless her, had an almost ADD-like affliction where our childhood home was concerned. In the twenty years plus they'd owned the house, each room had been redecorated at least twice, some of them three times. The grounds had been landscaped, and re-landscaped. At last report, Dad was about to face round three with the back yard. He'd mentioned a koi pond.

I pitied the man, I truly did.

She'd stayed away from Emmett's apartment when he moved out after college. One visit to his college dorm room had cured her of meddling in his housekeeping for life. She said if he was happy living with whatever microbial mutant had spawned in his inability to clean properly, then she wasn't going to interfere. No one debated her on that one, and I thought it was a smart move. Staph infections could get nasty.

Because I had a harder time coexisting with filth, I wasn't so lucky when I'd bought the house.

I remember Dad took me out to dinner one night soon after I'd closed escrow. I thought it had been to congratulate me. I should have known better. He wanted to thank me. I'd ensured that he had at least a few years before he'd have to endure another conversation that began with the phrase "I've been thinking..." and ended with a loan application.

He was right, of course. The first three years I'd owned my house, it had been Mom's sole focus.

"Let me guess. Mom did the kitchen, but she let you put your things away in it, didn't she?"

"Yes, she did. Apparently that was a huge failing on her part?"

"Not a failing, no. You just don't know the rules about these things."

"There are rules?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course there are rules. I mean, look at this, Edward," she said on a huff, opening the cabinet where my coffee mugs were. "You've got the mugs here, but the coffee maker is way over there. What kind of system is that? And your silverware is no where near the..."

I tuned her out. I nodded in all the right places, looked contrite when her words called for it, and waited until I could tell she was running low on breath.

I spoke while she was in mid-inhale.

"And we need to get going if we're going to hit Emily's before we go to the hospital," I interjected, putting my empty cup in the sink and switching off the coffee maker.

It was fun, sometimes, to watch Alice throw on the mental brakes and go from one subject to the next without pause.

"Right, Emily's. I'd almost forgotten! Okay, the kitchen can wait. Let me get my bag and shoes and we can go. Hey," she called back, her voice trailing from down the hall, "Bella's not restricted to hospital food, is she? I can bring her a muffin, right?"

All I could do was thank God Alice wasn't in the room when she'd said her boss' name. I had no idea what my face looked like, but I felt my body go rigid with dream/shower memories the second I'd heard Bella's name. It took me a good ten seconds to regain even a semblance of control.

"Edward?"

Thank God, she was still by the front door.

I scrubbed a hand over my face, cleared my throat and readjusted my pants before walking out to join her. I was a doctor, damn it. Schooling my features to be blank and clinical were part and parcel of the job. I could only hope Alice didn't notice the effort.

"Sorry, just making sure the kitchen was closed up and the coffee maker off." I pulled on my own jacket, thanking God it was cold enough still for the longer one. "As for Bella, as long as she's tolerating the pain medication, she can eat whatever she wants."

"Yay!" She didn't seem to see a difference on me, so I relaxed. "Come on then, let's go."

I watched in awe as she shouldered a carry-all type messenger bag that looked about as big as she was.

"Alice, we're going to the hospital, not mobilizing for an invasion."

"What? This?" She indicated the bag. "All necessary, trust me. Clothes for Bella, she hates hospital gowns. Both of our laptops, a few scripts, phones and chargers, a book or three. Just the essentials."

"You carry that around all the time?" The orthopedist in me shuddered at one day having to operate on my own sister's spine or rotator cuff.

"No, not all the time. Bella got me this fabulous little phone. It keeps everything I need and syncs up with my laptop perfectly. But since we'll be in one place for a while, it's easier to type on the laptop. And I know Bella will want hers if she's laid up and immobile."

"All right then, but the doctor in me has to suggest you find something with wheels on it before you permanently injure your self."

"Yes, Mother," Alice stuck her tongue out at me again and trooped down the stairs to my Volvo.

I followed after locking up behind us, chuckling softly.

It was ridiculous, really, how much I'd missed having Alice around.

* * *

*~*~*~*~*~ Bella

"Mom. Mom? Mom! Mom, stop!" I had to scream the last, thankful that I had a room to myself. At least I wasn't bothering anyone but Jake. Not that my raised voice would wake him. The man slept like the dead.

"Not another word, Bella, I'm leaving the ship and hopping the first plane off this dinky little island and flying to, where are you again?"

"I'm not telling."

"You're in Seattle, no Port Angeles, that's right."

Shit.

"Mom, please relax, all right? I'm fine. Absolutely fine. The break was a clean one, the surgery's done. There's nothing for you to do here, but lose what tan you've got to hospital pallor. Jake's here, so is Alice."

"Bella..."

I jumped on the hesitation in her voice.

"You haven't had a proper vacation in years, right? And you told me you were having fun, meeting people, kicking ass in laser tag. Do you really want to trade that in to sit in antiseptic stench or stay on a boat, with a pool, drinking things with too much rum and little umbrellas in it?"

A pause.

"They really are good."

Victory!

I knew better than to gloat, however. I just went where she lead me. "I know. Remember the trip to Hawaii after _Moonlight _wrapped? When Alice and I decided to pound down the Mai Tais at the luau?"

Mom laughed and we traded reminiscences for a few minutes of that particularly wild night. I knew now that she'd be staying where she was and not cut her trip short. Thank God.

I loved her to death, but sometimes she didn't know how to shut off the hover.

"Good morning!"

I looked up and grinned when I saw Alice, impossibly fresh and chipper for someone who'd been in the same accident I had, standing in my doorway.

"Mom, I've got to go. Alice just got here."

"All right, sweetie. Give her my best and swear to me you'll call if you need anything, or if anything changes."

"I swear it, Mom. You'll be the first call I make."

Maybe. Or definitely not.

At least I was convincing on the phone. Sometimes, my profession had its side benefits.

It took a few minutes more of persuading before I was able to get my mother to hang up. In that time, Alice unpacked the reinforced messenger bag of doom she carried around when we traveled.

There was also a very un-hospital smell in the room.

"You brought food. And coffee. Real coffee." I accused as my hand shot out towards her. "Gimme."

"Well, I see we woke up with our manners this morning," she laughed.

"Knock it off, Alice, and hand over whatever you've got. I had runny scrambled eggs this morning that tasted like...absolutely nothing, coffee that was more like brown water. And a bagel I could have played street hockey with."

"You've never played street hockey. You'd never have survived it."

"Alice!"

"All right, all right. Touchy this morning, aren't we?"

"I'm about to fire your skinny little..."

And then there was a muffin under my nose. A huge muffin, roughly the size of a grapefruit, bursting with bluberries and sprinkled with sugar crystals.

"Oh God," I said reverently, taking it with the hand not in a cast. I brought it to my nose and savored. "Where did you find this? Are there more? Tell me there are more and I'll forgive you for not even limping while I'm stuck in this bed."

"More? You'll never finish that one."

"I know. I want the comfort of knowing that more is possible on the off chance I do finish," I said, inhaling the aroma again, savoring before I bit in. " I want one of these for every morning we're here. And then I want to have them delivered when we're gone."

Alice shook her head. "I'll bring them every morning, but delivery won't work. Believe me, I tried. I had my mom ship me a box of them Fed Ex, overnight express once when I was really craving them. They weren't the same – just a box of crumbs."

"Damn." I sighed and took the first bite. "Oh fuck that's good." Blueberries hit every taste bud in my mouth with just the right mixture of sugar added in. "Don't suppose I could hire whomever made them to come back to LA with us?"

"No chance. First, you don't make that much money. Second, the furthest Emily gets from the Res is to her shop in Forks. I think she and Sam went to Seattle for their honeymoon, but that's it. Offers of money wouldn't even register on her radar, I'm afraid. She's, well, they're both blissfully happy here. Go figure."

Through bouts of insomnia, long plane trips, and loads of days sitting around waiting in trailers, Alice and I had shared our life histories several times over, so I knew all about the small Native American reservation just outside her small hometown of Forks. And because Alice was a social creature, I also knew about all the people in and around both the reservation and her hometown.

The fact that it was really _our_ hometown was what had brought us together in the first place.

She'd been working as the costumer's assistant and during one interminable fitting session for a period drama, we'd gotten to chatting. And found out that I'd been born in her hometown. It didn't matter to either of us that I'd only lived here for a year before my mother gave my father an ultimatum (he chose keeping us and relocating to Phoenix over staying here).

It was one of the reasons I'd taken Alice up on the offer to come home with her when Jake insisted I take a few months off to rest. I wanted to see the place I would have grown up in, if my mother'd had a higher rain tolerance.

"Ah well," I said, popping another small bite into my mouth. "I'll savor while I'm here and make sure we find time to come back and visit your parents. Often."

The room lapsed into a silence broken only by our mutual muffin moaning and caffeine appreciation. Every now and then Jake would snore softly in the recliner to break up the moaning.

Alice had been right about me not finishing the muffin; there was about a quarter left when my stomach put up the "full" sign. I set it down on my bedside tray, sipped at the coffee Alice had brought, then frowned when I caught sight of the clock. Ten fifteen?

I knew Alice was staying with her brother, with Edward (God, did I really just shiver saying his name? Yeah, I did. Pathetic.) so I knew he must be here somewhere. The same nurse that had taken pity on Jake and arranged for a recliner, Angela her name was, told me that he'd be around mid-morning to check on me during his rounds.

I'd estimated mid morning to be ten am. So where was he?

More to the point, why was I looking constantly at the door?

God, I really was pathetic. Capital P. Capital everything.

Thankfully, Alice finished not long after me, downing her whole muffin and the rest of mine, and offered me the distraction of work. I jumped on it so I wouldn't dwell on the door. Or, rather, the fact that he hadn't walked through it yet.

"Righto," Alice said in a voice that she only used when she was in business mode. Her laptop was out and on her lap, her tiny fingers moving at warp speed over the keys. "So Jake apparently got the press release drafted before he crashed and he's emailed it to me with strict instructions to send it out as soon as you'd talked to your mother. Honestly. Do I work for him? No. I don't. And he's not going to be ordering _me_ around, oh no. We'll have a chat about that later."

She stopped long enough to throw a dirty look at him. I managed to not chuckle too loudly. Poor Jake.

"Anyway, I'll not be releasing anything until you say I can and then I'll kick his ass awake to send it himself, so that's beside the point. Now then. You were due to check in to the lodge last night, but obviously that didn't happen. I'll call over later and explain it to Harry and Sue. They're sweet, they'll understand. Probably won't even charge us the rescheduling fee."

"No," I interrupted, "I don't want them losing money because we had an accident."

Alice patted my hand. "I'll talk to them, don't worry. Need to talk to Dard before I do, though, see when you'll get out of here and how mobile you'll be."

I choked on the sip of coffee I'd just taken. "Talk to...who?"

"Dard," said a soft, seductive voice from the doorway. "It's an annoying thing she called me when she was little and couldn't say Edward."

"Oh good, you're here," Alice continued as if he hadn't spoken at all. "How long is Bella going to be here before we can get her moved to the lodge? I need to know before I call Harry."

It wasn't the first time I'd found myself grateful for Alice's take-charge get-it-done-now philosophy of life. I very much doubted it would be my last. Nevertheless, I was extra grateful this time. With Alice chattering questions at Edward, and him protesting that he didn't have answers yet, no one noticed that my eyes had somehow become glued to my doctor and didn't show signs of releasing any time soon.

I felt Alice's lips on my forehead, breaking my hyper-focus with a jolt.

"I'm just off to make a few phone calls and let you and Edward do the doctor/patient thing. I'll be back in a bit, all right?"

I smiled. "Bring back lunch? The menu they gave me said something about fish sticks."

"Don't worry, boss lady. I'll protect you from the inherent evil of the Gortons's fisherman."

We both laughed as she danced out of the room; our eyes turning to face the other again.

Any hope I'd held that my first impressions of Edward had been embellished by the aftereffects of general anesthesia were quietly laid to rest. He was still the most beautiful man I'd ever laid eyes on…and the only thing I had going on right now was a low dose of Percocet for the after-surgery pain.

"Good morning, Bella."

Oh God. Why did he have to sound so good saying my name?

I looked up, broken from my thoughts by the silky voice that had haunted what dreams I'd been able to manage. Dreams where...God. Focus, Bella.

"Good morning, Edward." Again, my profession came in useful and I was able to keep my voice calm and even, betraying none of the quivers I felt. Verbally, anyway. I hadn't figured out how to fool the monitors yet.

"How are you this morning?"

I laughed. "I feel like I've been thrown from a car?" And I did. Underneath the pain medication, I could feel a host of aches and pains whenever I moved. Nothing unmanageable, but not particularly pleasant either.

"Perfectly normal then," he agreed with a smile and...was that a wink? No, probably not. Maybe he had a tic or something. That's what he needed. Detractions. Something to counter the handsome...like tics, uncontrolled drooling, maybe webbed fingers? Was that really too much to ask?

I looked. Nope. Long, graceful fingers. Crap.

"Unfortunately, yes," I agreed. "It's nothing I'm not used to."

One thick eyebrow raised. "You get thrown out of cars a lot, do you?"

"Not a lot, no. But I fall down quite a bit. Or get tackled by stuntmen by accident because I'm standing in precisely the wrong place. Or walk into walls/doors/cameras. I'm a genuine, natural-born klutz, I'm afraid."

That didn't seem to surprise him.

I cocked a brow at him. "What, do I look the type?"

His head shook immediately, shock on his features. "No, nothing like that. I just saw the results of the MRI and CAT scans you had after they'd stabilized you downstairs. You have a lot of scar tissue and healed breaks. In any other case, I'd be oath-bound to make sure you weren't in an abusive relationship."

For some reason his eyes darted to Jake's prone form. Probably because the big oaf had just snorted out a snore. God, that really was annoyingly adorable.

"In any other case?" I asked, returning to Edward. "What, you're not as concerned about me?"

"No. Quite the contrary, actually." Something very serious danced over his face for just a moment, but the intensity in his eyes was enough to make me shiver again. Edward moved forward suddenly and pulled the blanket up from the foot of my bed and tucked it around me. He must've thought my shiver meant I was cold; I was ridiculously touched by the gesture. It didn't even bother me that his motions had almost an absent quality to them, as if he wasn't even aware he was doing them.

I brought my hands out from under the new blanket he'd just finished tucking up. Our fingers brushed. I nearly gasped when I felt the same zing straight up my arm. Immediately my eyes flew to his. I don't know what I was looking for. A sign he'd felt the same static charge maybe?

Whatever I'd hoped, there was nothing there. Just a blank face looking back at me.

Oh well.

I tried to refocus on the conversation. "Quite the contrary?" I asked, repeating his words back to him.

"Yes, you're my sister's friend, and employer, of course I'd be concerned," he said, then a smile crooked on one side of his face. The monitor pinged my reaction back to me. I was seriously going to have to work on getting that thing out of my room.

"But I know Alice. Not only would she not stand for anything of the sort, she'd be in jail for killing anyone who dared lay a hand on you."

I smiled. He did know his sister well. "You're right about that. She actually got in a producer's face once because he wanted me to try this one stunt on my own. Something about a stunt double's face being visible taking away from the drama of the moment. He was a little shorter than Jake, but not by much and she was screaming him up one side and down the other, right on the set."

"What was the stunt?"

"He wanted me to fall down a flight of stairs."

"_Yesterday's Miracle," _Edward said without pause, startling me.

"That's right," I smiled. "You saw it?"

He nodded, a bit reluctantly. "I read the book while I was an undergrad and was very interested to see how the adaptation would go."

His superior tone made my smile widen. "And how did we do?"

"Hmm," he said, a hand raised to his chin, scratching against the smooth skin. "Well enough, I suppose." He waited a bit, then sighed. "But the whole thing was blown for me when I saw a stunt double fall down the stairs near the end rather than the lead actress."

Our eyes met and I giggled. That was all it took and then we both burst out laughing at the same time. His green eyes twinkled with it. His face transformed as the smile lingered once the laughter subsided. How the hell could he possibly look better?

I hoped to God he would write the increase in my heart rate off to the laughter.

"Seriously, the film was very well done. You kept to the story without adding nonsensical embellishments. So many times that's not the case," he said. His face was still wearing a very alarming smile. Alarming in the sense it could make perfectly rational women feel the need to drop their panties. And I was nothing if not rational.

_Stop thinking of your doctor and your panties in the same sentence_, I admonished myself.

"No, I won't take projects like that. Anything that's being adapted, I read the source material first, before I even read the script. If the script goes off on wild tangents, I pass. I've been lucky enough in my career that I can make that choice."

"Really? You pass, just like that?"

I nodded. "Really. Unless it was a truly horrid book, it'll have fans. And any adaptation should respect those fans and what they loved about the story. Keep it loyal, you'll win the fans."

"And if it doesn't have fans?"

"Then it probably wouldn't have optioned in the first place," I answered with a teasing grin that he returned in kind.

My heart monitor twitched again. I began to wonder if I could disconnect it.

"Just out of curiosity, how did Alice finally talk the guy, the producer, out of it?"

"She told him I'd end up breaking a bone no one had ever heard of and set production back weeks."

"And you would have," came the sleepy voice from behind us both.

I giggled and looked around Edward to where Jake sat, rumpled and puffy faced with sleep.

"Hello, sunshine. You have a good nap?"

"Ha ha," he said and got up, stretching out his impossibly tall body until it popped and creaked itself awake. "It was a good enough one once that nurse, what was her name?"

"Angela," I supplied, glad I'd remembered it earlier myself.

"Angela, yeah. Once she brought the recliner instead of the torture device, I was actually able to sleep a bit." He paused and crooked his head to the side. "You don't seem to find it that uncomfortable, doc."

It wasn't until then that I realized Edward had taken the visitor's chair next to my bed and was sitting quite close to me. His hand was still on my blanket, too, right next to mine.

Another few beeps from the damned monitor until I was able to slow my pulse with some well-timed, and very stealthy, deep breaths.

Edward just smiled at Jake while he slowly made his way to his feet. "After residency, there's no such thing as an uncomfortable place to sit, or sleep for that matter."

"I've heard that," Jake said amiably. Or, I've seen it portrayed in movies. Guess I now know they based that part on real life, huh?"

Edward was still smiling, "most movies I've seen have done a fairly good job of it, yes."

"Good to know," he grinned and walked over to my other side. "I'm feeling like the underside of a shoe right now, though, Bells. The nurse told me there's a washroom or something for family just down the hall. I'm going to run down there and de-funk. You'll be okay until I get back?"

I sighed. "I'm not entirely hopeless, Jake. I doubt there's much that could happen to me while I'm chained into traction in a hospital bed."

He leaned down and kissed me softly. "I wouldn't bet the Audi on that one," he laughed, then ducked out of reach.

"You bastard," I called after him, my humor lightening the epithet.

"And you love me," he called over his shoulder as he pushed out of the room.

"Yeah," I called back. "Doesn't say much for my taste, does it?"

I smiled up at Edward. "Sorry about that. He's sort of the human equivalent of a battering ram."

"No need to apologize," he said simply and I was sad to see he'd stepped away from me, closer to the door.

Then I realized. Had I ever, in any of my trips to the hospital, had a doctor spend so much time with me? No, I hadn't. Not once. They came in, checked the wound, grunted a few times while they scribbled notes on my chart, then left. Sometimes they even said my name a time or two.

Edward had been here long enough to make himself comfortable in the chair at my bedside, and hadn't even asked about my leg or wrist once. I knew it was because Alice was his sister, but I was being selfish. Surely he had other patients to see?

"Should I be apologizing for utterly monopolizing your morning?"

"Is that what you were doing? I thought we were just talking."

"We were, are," I laughed a little at my falter. "Maybe I was monopolizing a bit. You're very easy to talk to."

This time it was Edward's turn to laugh. "You'd be alone in that assessment. The nurses call me Doctor Grouch most of the time."

My brow furrowed. "I don't see that at all. You've not been grouchy once."

"That's because you didn't see me this morning when I came downstairs to find Alice had started reorganizing my kitchen."

I had a quick mental flash of Edward looking rumpled and sleepy the way Jake did just a few minutes ago...then promptly told myself to put it straight out of my head. That way madness lay.

"Oh God, not you, too? She took mine over during a hiatus last year. I had about a month between projects, 30 days with nothing to do and she nearly went insane. I came home from a meeting with a potential director and my whole house looked like a tornado had hit it. The inside, mind you, not the outside."

I was glad to see his smile return. "That's Alice, all right."

"Still, I should let you get to the rest of your patients."

"No need. I only have ten in the hospital right now, and I saw them all first. You are my last patient of the day before my afternoon office hours."

"Then I should let you get home?" I questioned.

The grin he shot back at me ought to be illegal. "Are you trying to get rid of me, Bella?"

"Not at all," I replied, trying desperately to keep myself from stammering. "I just don't want to be selfish."

"Sometimes, selfish isn't such a bad thing."

* * *

**End note:**

_I can't take credit for the line: "...another conversation that began with the phrase 'I've been thinking...' and ended with a loan application." That came from a stand-up comedian (I think it was Rex Havens), but I remember howling when I heard it on the radio, so I've borrowed it for this fic._


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Still not mine. I'm just messing around in SMeyer's playground._

_A/N #2: A million thanks to everyone for the reviews, favorites, alerts and rec's. I will admit to having a small moment of hyperventilation when I found out I'd been rec'd on ADF. I'm so thrilled that people are enjoying this story because I'm having SO much fun writing it. I still get the goofy grins whenever my phone chirps with review alerts…people at work are starting to wonder about me again ;)_

* * *

The grin Edward shot back at me ought to be illegal. "Are you trying to get rid of me, Bella?"

"Not at all," I replied, trying desperately to keep myself from stammering. "I just don't want to be selfish."

"Sometimes, selfish isn't such a bad thing."

My mouth was open to say something – I'd like to think it would have been something spectacularly witty and clever – but I never got the chance.

"I'm back! What'd I miss? Anything? I hope not breakfast, because I'm starving."

Jake barreled back in the room like an invading army. It didn't help that he was bigger than any man had a right to be and just sucked up all the available space. Besides, how could I fault it when his exuberance was the reason I had a career? It's not like he knew I was hoarding time with my doctor – and I wasn't about to tell him that, either.

"Alice left you a muffin," I told him.

"A muffin? Singular?"

I grinned. "Trust me," I said and caught Edward's eye, glad to see he was smiling back conspiratorially. Damned monitor blipped again.

"Did she send the press release?"

I smiled wider. "Nope, she just bitched a lot about how she doesn't work for you. Apparently, you'll be chatting about that later."

"Great," he groaned and opened the bag. "Holy fuck, what're they doing to the muffins up here? Steroid injections?"

I laughed, watching the way his eyes remained riveted to the bag's contents.

"Told you to trust me; you never do."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Quiet down, I'm having a moment."

I turned back to Edward while Jake worshipped at the House of Muffin. "Sorry about him. I fed him once and he followed me home. Haven't been able to get rid of him since."

"Not a problem," he said. I was happy that his smile was still in place, but not too happy that he was still standing. "It sounds as though you've got work to do."

I was about to protest that it could wait, but Jake took that moment to pipe up from his muffin. "Yeah, we do. The sooner the better."

I groaned. "Jake, I can't imagine that it's going to matter a damn that I'm laid up in a hospital again to anyone, why exactly do we have to let the world know?"

Jake shot me the "you have no idea" look that usually meant I was in for a long reminder about the fact that I was, in fact, famous and had certain responsibilities along those lines.

I hated that talk.

"So, Doc, did I sleep through finding out the prognosis on my girl here?" He affected a B-movie melodramatic pause. "Will she ever walk again?"

I threw a plastic cup at him. "For Christ's sake, Jake, really? I can almost hear the violins."

"Well, Doc?" Jake pressed, still looking at Edward.

"I hadn't quite gotten around to that part yet," he said smoothly. I could almost see him slip the doctor hat onto his head. It shouldn't have been as appealing as it was.

And God, was it ever. Damned appealing.

Because I wanted to see him smile again, I put on my actress hat and batted big, sorrowful eyes up at him. I infused my voice with a heavy dose of my own soap-opera melodrama. "Will I, Doctor? Will I walk again?"

"I'm not sure." Edward looked down at me, his face solemn and serious. "As I understand it, you didn't do such a bang-up job of walking before your surgery, though, so I'm not taking responsibility for it now."

I cocked an eyebrow at him and he shot back with a wink and the smile that seemed just a little crooked.

My laughter was drowned out a bit by Jake's guffaws at the foot of the bed. "Good God, there's no Alice in you at all, is there?" He snickered again. "Bang up job of it, that's brilliant."

"That's not nice, you know," I mock-accused through lingering giggles. I reached over to swat at Edward playfully with my uninjured hand just as he moved to take up my chart from the end of the bed.

Our hands touched again. I felt this one all the way through me – and here I'd always thought that the struck-by-lightning thing was just an author's fabrication. I now knew it wasn't. In fact, I was amazed my skin wasn't smoking from the contact burn.

Another monitor stutter and this time, Edward's eyes flashed up to mine. Or maybe he was already looking at me? I couldn't tell and the moment was over before I could figure it out. He'd turned his attention to the monitor at my bedside.

He pulled out the tape readout and checked it over, a frown on his brow. "I think it might be time for this one to go down and get calibrated," his voice was low, clearly talking to himself and not to us. "No reason you need one anymore, anyway."

He made a note on the chart he'd finally picked back up. Thank God. I could do without the medical proof that my doctor was causing strange things to happen in my chest.

"So, Doc?" Jake asked again.

I jumped. I'd actually forgotten he was there.

Edward nodded once, glancing over the chart and replacing it. "Everything looks in order. We're going to keep her here until she's fully mobile, probably a few more days. The sooner she's up and moving, and getting circulation going in that leg, the better. We'll get the IVs and catheters out by tomorrow, I think."

I sighed. "Wonderful."

He smiled. "The good news is you're in good physical condition, Bella, and the break was a clean one. Recovery for an injury of this severity is normally three to six months..."

I saw Jake stand up straighter out of the corner of my eye.

"Six months?"

Edward angled his body so he could address both of us. "Normally, yes. But with Bella's overall health and condition, I'd put her closer to the three side than the six, especially if she starts physical therapy sooner rather than later," he said then leveled a smile at me, "and keeps up with her exercises."

"She will," Jake said firmly. Great. That meant he was going to be worse than annoying about my rehabilitation. I could almost hear the sound of a personal trainer/torturer in my future. Lovely.

"But not overdo it," Edward broke in, obviously seeing the same fervor in Jake that I did. "Overexerting would be just as detrimental as not enough."

I could have kissed him for that.

Why did I have to think about kissing him?

God, I really was pathetic. Utterly.

"All right then. Looks as though we've got our work cut out for us then, Bells. You had a two month window for your vacation and even then there were meetings you were going to have to fly back for," Jake started, already pulling out his iPad.

I rolled my eyes and looked back at Edward. "What he really means is thank you for everything, Doctor."

"Doctor?" Edward said, a brow arching over a beautiful green eye. "I thought we'd progressed to you calling me Edward at least."

"Edward, then," I smiled back.

Jake cleared his throat and I was tempted to kick him with my good foot.

"Sorry to interrupt. But we do have a bit of work to do?"

Jake phrased it as a question, but the underlying meaning was there. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

"Of course. I'll see you soon, then, Bella."

I had to physically press my lips together to keep from asking when "soon" was. Instead I silently watched him cross the room to the door. I straightened when he paused there; the traitorous monitor blipped again.

"Fish sticks," he said, turning back to me.

"Excuse me?"

"Alice said she'd save you from fish sticks, or from the Gorton's fisherman. What did she mean by that?"

I felt my face heating to the point I feared the fire-suppression system would go off.

"They make me sick," I said simply.

Jake, naturally, couldn't leave it at that. "Sick? You projectile vomited all over George Clooney."

Edward frowned slightly, shooting a look at Jake I couldn't decipher, then nodded and left the room without another word.

"Thanks ever so much, Jake," I groused, but the pout was lost on him. Jake was, no doubt, back on set, watching me in his mental movie theater as I spewed lightly breaded fish all over the other actor. At the time I'd thought it was mortifying, but with time and distance (and the fact George was a great sport and still teased me about it) I'd come to see the humor.

Or I had. Now I was mortified all over again.

"All right," he said and wiped the tears from under his eyes. "Let's get to work, shall we?"

~*~*~*~*~*~ Edward

I was glad it was Saturday.

Saturdays meant sleeping in, a long run through the forest trails, and a day to decompress and just...be. Do whatever came to mind whether it was music, small repairs to the house, going into the city for a film, museum, or gallery...or just hanging around in my sweat pants and watching a _Star Wars_ marathon or messing around on my computer.

At least, that's how I spent my Saturdays _before_ my sister invaded.

When I trudged down towards my kitchen this Saturday morning, Alice had progressed her music to some sort of punk playlist as she flitted her way around the cabinets.

I turned back around immediately, praying she didn't see me. I knew my prayers were for naught when the music died away.

"Morning, big brother!"

I groaned.

"Just going for a run," I called back over my shoulder.

"Going for a run?" she questioned from right behind me. "In your slippers? I'd think an orthopedist knew better than that. Horrible for the arches or something."

I laughed softly and turned back to her. "And just when did you become an expert on arches, Midge?"

"Dr. Scholl's commercials" she laughed, hooking an arm through mine.

"Well, he'd know," I nodded sagely, taking a seat at the breakfast bar. Alice picked up her own coffee mug and slid one over to me. We drank our coffee in a companionable silence that I knew couldn't last.

"What are your plans today?"

Somewhere in the far reaches of my brain, alarm bells were going off. But because either the coffee hadn't yet awakened my higher brain functions or I was just plain stupid, I didn't listen and answered honestly.

"I was going to go for a run this morning, but after that, nothing much."

As soon as the words were out I wanted to call them back, especially in light of the twinkle in my sister's eye.

"Why?" I asked, too late.

"No reason. I was just hoping you'd be able to run something in to Bella for me. I didn't have enough room for a full change of clothes when we went yesterday and she texted that she's getting tired of the nightgown, especially since she's going to start moving around today. Said she doesn't want her ass hanging out for the rest of the hospital to see."

I barely managed to keep from choking on my coffee. The last thing I needed was to be thinking about Bella at all; and I really didn't need to be thinking about her bare...

Goddamn it.

"Yeah, sure," I heard myself agreeing stupidly. Of course I could take clothes in. Straight to the nurses station and no further. I didn't trust myself beyond that.

"Everything all right?" Alice asked over a quirked brow.

"Of course it is," I said easily. "I was just thinking if there was anything else I needed while I was in the Port."

Alice seemed appeased. "Perfect! I'll get a bag together while you run." She set down her coffee and darted over to my side, kissing my cheek. "She's great, isn't she?"

"Hmm?" I said, pretending to be distracted by the morning paper on the counter.

"Bella? She's great, isn't she?"

I kept my face blank again. "She seems very nice, yes," I agreed blandly.

Back in my room, I pulled on my running gear and did some preliminary stretches. I managed to keep my mind focused on the immediate present as I limbered up, walked down the back stairs and headed out the mud room door. For the first half mile I thought of nothing more than the constant _thud thud thud_ of my feet as they landed on the soft trail floor.

Then my mind started to drift as it always did as I moved through the familiar terrain. Running had been my salvation during college and med school. Every time the pressure got to me, I'd run. If there was a case I couldn't figure out, I'd run. When I was learning to name every bone in the human body, I'd run. There was something about tuning out conscious thought and letting my mind wander as I lost myself in the continual plod of feet against ground. I could always find ways around the problems that plagued me while I ran; or baring that, a break from the incessant circular thinking that sometimes made finding answers difficult.

I doubted I'd have such luck today.

Because no matter how long or far I ran, I'd still want to plow my fist into Jake's jaw.

I could still see her pale face lit by the embarrassed flush on her cheeks as her agent dwelled on something that clearly made her uncomfortable.

My hands fisted again and I had to work to relax my fingers.

How could he do that? Wasn't he supposed to be with her? In love with her, if the nurses and the gossip sites were to be believed? And God, did the nurses ever go on and on about it. While I'd updated Bella's information at the nurses' station, that's all they'd done was go on and on and ON about Jake's devotion (_he slept in that horrible chair all night!)_ until I'd had to leave. I doubted that kicking a wall would do much for me other than a few broken toes and make the hospital start to doubt my sanity.

Hell, that wouldn't be anything new. I was starting to doubt it myself.

The only thing not in doubt was that Bella was with a man that very clearly didn't deserve her.

No. There were two sure things. The other was that there wasn't a damned thing I could do about it.

Or was there?

My feet faltered as if they'd been caught in a tree root. They hadn't. The ground was flat in front of me; it was the stray thought that had caused the hiccup in my stride.

_Was_ there something I could do about it?

When I'd left the hospital the day before, I'd decided that the only way to keep myself from giving into the instinct and realigning Jake's jaw in a thoroughly non-surgical fashion was to stay far away from Bella's hospital room. On the drive home, I'd taken it one step further and had a few self-discussions in which I reminded myself about proprieties and ethics and that Bella was a patient.

That hanging around in a patient's room and talking for hours was the opposite of professional.

I told myself a lot of things during that drive. Made a slew of resolutions.

And now, in the course of one five mile run, they were all being swept away.

Was there a way I could do more than fix her leg? Could I help her see that the relationship with her manager was a destructive one, unhealthy? That his belittling should not be tolerated on any level?

My stride slowed. No. No. No.

I repeated the word with every step.

No.

I needed to stick to my original plan, I needed to treat her like any other patient. I was an orthopedic surgeon, not a psychiatrist or counselor. Dr. Cullen, not Dr. Phil. The fact I couldn't seem to stop having dirty dreams about my patient was no reason to start meddling in her life. If anything, it was another reason to stay far away from her.

I would treat her like any other surgical patient. I had checked on her post-operation, I would leave the nurses and physical therapists to their jobs and check her progress in a few days time when she drew closer to discharge from the hospital. There would be follow up visits in a few months.

And that was it. Depressing as fuck, but that was it.

I was still repeating that mantra when I entered the hospital with the small canvas bag in my hand. I was going to go up to the nurses station, drop off the bag and note from Alice, and turn around and walk out again. It was a very rare day in the Port. There was actually blue above us, and big fluffy white clouds, not the drippy, dark gray that constantly covered our section of the country.

I would do this errand for my sister then go to the docks for lunch, maybe a little window shopping, then go home and...do something. Anything. The point was, I wouldn't be here.

Resolve firm, I approached the nurses' station.

"Hello, Jessica," I said.

"Dr. Cullen! What are you doing here on a Saturday?" I watched as her hand raised to her hair. I sighed; I could practically hear her thoughts as she mentally went over her appearance. She'd decided sometime after her first week here that we would be a perfect match. The fact that I showed no interest in her whatsoever hadn't deterred her in the two years I'd been on staff.

"Just dropping something off from Alice for Room 1901," I said easily, proud of myself for using the room number and not the name. Distance. Distance was good. "Would you mind taking it in for me? I've got..."

A loud beeping interrupted us and I thought I heard Jessica mutter something about an old hag.

"What was that?"

She signed. "Nothing. Mrs. Nelson is being a little insistent today," she added with a false smile on her face. We all knew the nurses groused about the patients behind their backs, but the hospital was cracking down about it after one patient's family member had overheard and complained. "Insistent" was nurse code for "pain in the ass."

"Ah. I'll just leave this here then...?"

Jessica shook her head. "Would you mind just taking it in? That bag disappears and I'm liable."

"Disappears?" I looked around the deserted private ward. "You get a lot of theft around here, do you? I'm sure it will be..."

The buzzing started again and I could hear the "insistent" woman calling out now...something about the water in her room being warm.

"Please, Dr. Cullen?"

She was off without another word.

Great.

I knew I could just leave it; knew there was no danger of her clothes being stolen in the few minutes it would take Jessica to add ice to the woman's pitcher. Then I caught sight of an orderly at the opposite end of the hall and sighed.

Bella was famous, and the bag did contain her personal possessions.

Wouldn't I feel like a creep if her sweatpants were suddenly available for bid on eBay because I didn't have the balls to walk into her hospital room, deliver a bag of clothing, and walk out again?

And, more to the point, why did that seem like an incredibly elaborate rationalization?

Probably because it was one. I sighed. Hell, maybe I'd get lucky. Maybe she'd be asleep.

I pushed the door open and peeked in.

I was in luck. Her head was turned away and angled down, her breathing slow and even. The room was silent save the classical music coming from an iPod on her bedside table. I was happy to note that the dickhead agent was nowhere to be seen. At least I wouldn't have to try and make polite conversation with the asshole. I was testing my resolve enough by being in here, having to speak with Jake would probably be shade past too much to handle.

Gingerly, I eased my way into her room. My eyes were focused on the end of her bed where I was planning on setting the bag. Unfortunately for me, that meant they weren't on my own feet – or the wheels to the bedside stand. The contact between it and my shoe sent the wheeled table skittering a bit. Not enough to make noise, but enough to take her open laptop off screen saver mode.

I could have made it out of there easily and undetected if I hadn't looked up. If I hadn't laughed.

But I did, and I had, and Bella's eyes fluttered open.

"Edward?" She looked around, confused. "What?"

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's fine," she assured me, her good hand on the mattress as she tried to push herself more upright. "I just dozed off a bit. Were...did I hear you laughing?"

There was no hiding it, I knew, because the smile was probably still lingering on my face. Instead of answering, my eyes darted to her laptop where two characters were locked in an embrace, little green diamonds over their heads.

"You play Sims?" I commented, pressing my lips together.

She flushed again. Her good hand darted out, landing on the top of her laptop monitor as if she meant to close it from view.

"No! Don't do that. The game won't save and you'll lose all your progress," I said in an effort to stop her.

Her hand paused, still resting on the top edge of the laptop screen. "You're not going to tell me you play _Sims_."

I dropped the clothes bag onto her bed and crossed my arms, cocking a brow at her. "And why not? Last I heard the game was available to everyone, not just world famous actress types. Even we doctorly peons can lose ourselves in cruelly manipulating the lives of unsuspecting digital creations."

She giggled and I refused to think about the reaction that sound caused.

"You really play? You're not just teasing me?"

I pulled up the chair and sat down into it; I told myself it was because she shouldn't have to strain to look up at me. That sitting in the chair was the gentlemanly thing to do as it brought our eyes onto a level and she wouldn't have to crane her neck to look up at me.

I decided I'd think about my rampant rationalizations later. Much later.

"I really do play. Started in med school when all the information would just be too much to take in and I'd need to disconnect from the books for a while. You can only stare at ligaments and tendons for so long before your eyes start to cross. Playing in a virtual world seemed a good way to do that."

"Have you ever gotten a character to lifetime achievement?"

It was my turn to laugh. "I did. He was in the law enforcement track, so he got the superhero costume. It was great."

And so we talked.

My brief dash in to drop off clothes turned into a full on discussion over tactics and cheats, the differences between versions, and expansion packs. I barely felt the time passing.

I was halfway through my theories on why hiring a house cleaning service was the first thing I did in every new Sim house, when I realized Bella's face was starting to distort every now and then.

"What, you disagree?"

"No," she said and her cheeks were warming again. "Not at all. I do that too. Why spend time making beds and risking eating spoiled food?" Her face twisted up again.

"Then what is it?" I was on my feet in a flash. "Are you in pain?"

Her head shook, and the blush went deeper. "I. They took my catheter out this morning."

It took me a few seconds. "And you need to take care of things manually?"

She nodded, laughed a little. The delightful little blush was back on her cheeks. I tried not to stare. Unsuccessfully.

"Do you need help?"

"A little, yes. Just with the basics, standing and sitting and such. But I'm getting better," she said, the pride in her own achievements was clear in her tone.

"Of that I have no doubt." I stood, reluctantly. "I'll leave you to it then. I'll send a nurse in to help you on my way out."

"Oh," she said, her voice a little lower. "Do you have to go?"

Every resolution I'd made with myself ebbed away in that moment, wiped clean by the deep brown eyes that implored up at me.

"No," I said while calling myself an idiot, "no, I don't have to go."

Bella's shoulders relaxed, a smile raised the corners of her Cupid's bow mouth, and I continued to berate myself. "But I will step outside to give you some privacy. Alice sent clothes as well, by the way," I said offhand, as if my whole reason for being here was just that inconsequential. "If you wanted to change into them while you were...already up," I finished lamely.

Her smile widened, and I knew just why she'd been dubbed America's Sweetheart by the press. That smile was goddamned deadly, especially when aimed right at you. I thought seeing it on screen or in magazines was bad – but in person it was at least fifty times more potent.

"Yes! I knew she'd come through for me, she always does."

She shifted a little on her hospital bed and I nodded. "Right. A nurse coming right up."

I stepped out and looked around the floor for a passing nurse.

"Dr. Cullen? You're still here?"

I looked up just in time to see Jessica's eyes dart towards the wall clock. I could almost hear her mentally calculating – probably because I was doing the same thing.

I'd been in Bella's room for nearly two hours.

I might have been a good doctor, but I was fuckall at self-motivation.

"Yes, I am," I said, keeping my voice casual, almost clinical. "But the patient needs help with a trip to the lav. Would you mind?"

"I can do it," the other floor nurse said as she walked by. "I was just about to check on her anyway."

"Thanks, Angela. She was, ah, getting a little twitchy."

Angela laughed and stepped past me into the room. "Ready for another trip to Casa de Pee, Bella?"

"God, don't make me laugh." I heard Bella groan good-naturedly as the door shut behind me

Some people in this building were here because they thought medicine was the way to a better life. Jessica was firmly planted in that section. Her desire to be a nurse stemmed directly from her desire to marry a doctor. There were some, however, that were here because they'd been called. Angela was the epitome of that second camp; she had a calling so profound I'd only seen it rivaled in one other. My father.

I tried to look at anywhere but Jessica while I stood just outside the room. I didn't need to see the mental gears turning over why I was staying while Bella took care of her personal needs, and not leaving as most might have done. Mostly I hoped she kept her speculation to herself.

"She's all set," Angela said a moment later.

"Thanks, Angela."

"You know, Dr Cullen. It's a beautiful day outside. Seems a shame to be closed up in a hospital during such a rare break in the weather, you know? Especially for someone just visiting the area. Even more of a shame now that someone isn't hooked up to anything that would keep her from enjoying a trip away from her hospital room and seeing the hospital gardens."

"Is that so?" I replied, one eyebrow cocked.

"It is," she nodded, a guileless smile on her face. "We even have wheelchairs on the floor. Isn't that handy? If I was lucky enough to have the day off, I'd probably be taking a nice walk outside right now. Might even take someone with me, for company."

I was sure the puzzlement was clear on my face. "Maybe someone's manager will do that, if you mention the wheelchairs to him."

"Jake? Didn't you know? He went back to California already, left first thing this morning."

She smiled sweetly at me and walked around me, back onto her rounds of checking on the other patients.

I turned and stared at Bella's closed door and tried not to grin.

I had no luck whatsoever.

My mind worked on plans while my muscles worked to control the grinning. I really was going to have to stop smiling all the time. I did have a reputation as a curmudgeon to uphold.

I was conscious of Jessica's eyes boring twin laser-beams into my back, but I didn't care. All I could think about were Angela's not-too-subtle hints. No matter how broad her hints, they'd fallen on very fertile ground. Forget my original intent to drop in, drop off and make a quick getaway without ever being seen. Now all I could think about was taking Angela's advice and taking that walk…with someone.

Then I looked up and saw a wheelchair not five feet down the corridor from me.

I didn't think of anything, or anyone, else beyond that. I just grabbed the chair and pushed it into Bella's room.

* * *

I went to the University of Google for my medical training. So for what I got right about thigh bone breaks, thank the various websites I hit up…if I got it all wrong, blame me for being too squeamish to go med school ;)


	5. Chapter 5

_AN1: Still not mine._

_AN#2: About the time I was polishing this chapter up, another loved and followed story was yanked off the net for "publishing reasons." That both angers and annoys me. What a lovely way to start your professional career – by utterly buttsurfing your first fans. Sets a fabulous precedent, don't you think?_

_So with that in mind, I leave you this pledge: Yes, I hope to publish some day. No, it won't ever be anything I write for fandom. Yes, you can read this WiP without fear that I'll ever leave you hanging. We're on this road together, you and I. I wouldn't want to do it without you._

_That said – infinite love and affection and cuddles to everyone that's made Crash a favorite, put the story on alert, or rec'd it to a friend. Extra warm and fuzzy hugs to those that have left me a review because you guys put the skip in my step whenever my phone buzzes with the email alert._

* * *

Chapter 5

Then I looked up and saw a wheelchair not five feet down the corridor from me.

I didn't think of anything, or anyone, else beyond that. I just grabbed the chair and pushed it into Bella's room.

"What this?"

"Just a little something," I stopped when Bella's face fell, "maybe nothing…"

"More tests?"

That took me a second; what she'd said was so far off what I'd been planning I had to completely redirect my thinking. "Tests? What?" Then I got it. "No, I'm not taking you for tests. I just thought, well, Angela reminded me, that a sunny day in the Port is not something to be left uncelebrated."

"The Port? Isn't it Port Angeles?"

I smiled. "Technically, yes. When we were in high school, thought, we decided to try and make this place cooler and the only way available to us was to give it a cool name. It didn't catch on with the older generation, but most of the younger set picked it up. I'm confident that in the long term, we will prevail."

"With that degree of confidence, how could you not? Have you printed up bumper stickers? T-shirts and such? Held rallies in your cause's honor?"

"At the time we were self-funded and our rallies…never did much to further our mission."

"Which means that you were high-schoolers who used your funds for dates and gas rather than promoting a city renaming movement? And when you rallied, there was usually a bar involved?" Bella was giggling again.

"Pretty much, though were underage so bar mostly equated to a smuggled 12 pack and a clearing in the forest," I agreed with a laugh of my own, not wanting to think too much about the stutter in my chest when she made that sound. "So, my efforts at renaming a town aside, lets get back to the point then. A sunny day in the Port is not one to be missed, even if one is laid up with broken bone."

"I appreciate the sentiment," Bella said, still unmoving on her hospital bed.

"But…?"

"But I'm not really good with wheelchairs," she said softly. I was entirely too captivated by the blush that started to stain her cheeks. "Especially with only one working hand."

"Did you really think I was going to set you in the chair, push you down the hall and wish you the best?"

Bella's mouth opened, closed, then quirked a half-smile. "Ah…no? Of course not?"

It was clear by the growing blush and her backpedaling, however, that she'd thought precisely that.

"I'm wounded, Bella," I said, hand to my chest and heaving my most dramatic sigh. "To the core. I don't know if I'll be able to survive it."

I was rewarded with another giggle. I started to wonder if giggles could, by definition, ever be considered addictive. With the sound still lingering in the room around us, I thought Bella's just might be.

I wheeled the chair over to the side of her bed, careful to keep my hands on the chair's handles and not touch her in any way. It was hell enough restraining myself while I was with her – my first instincts were always to reach out to her, to touch her in some way. I had to stop doing that, though. My reactions to the constant static-shocks I got even from the briefest accidental touches were getting more and more difficult to hide.

"Come on then. We never know how long sun is going to last around here. If you keep stalling, it might be back to gloom and clouds by the time we get down there."

"God, you _are_ like your sister, aren't you? Fresh from a car accident and not a bit of slack from either of you," she grumbled.

I couldn't stop the grin. "If you think we're bad, wait until you see what's waiting for you."

Bella's eyes snapped back up to mine. "Oh God, what?"

"Alice didn't tell you what our eldest brother does?"

There was a pause and I could almost see the gears turning in her mind. I knew the moment she remembered he was a physical therapist. "Oh no. Surely he wouldn't…?"

I laughed. "Oh yes he would. Alice has decreed it to be so. He's tweaking his patient load right now, making sure he's got plenty of room for your therapy sessions. You're just lucky you didn't get injured during football season. He might not have had room."

My eldest brother had tried med school, but it was apparent within the first semester that it wasn't for him. Puking over the gross anatomy cadaver was never an optimistic sign in a future doctor. He wasn't the only one that had, and some of them went on to brilliant medical careers, but it had been the end of the line for Emmett. Remembering his own work with physical therapists over his middle and high school football years, he'd decided to look in that direction instead. And found his calling.

His part-time job as assistant coach for the Forks High School football team was just for fun.

"Yeah," Bella groused. "Lucky me."

"You'd rather have someone else for your therapy?"

"I'd rather have no therapy at all," Bella said with an innocent smile up at me, her wide brown eyes imploring.

It took every bit of resolve I had to keep my white-knuckled hands on the wheelchair and not reach out to touch the slight dimple in her cheek.

There was no way I'd be able to take the softness from my voice. "No chance, Bella. You need therapy to get yourself back to 100%. From what I heard your agent say, you're going to need that to get back to work."

Bella sighed and I was ridiculously happy that the mention of the other man didn't make her smile. Before I let myself get too thrilled over the idea she might not miss the manager, I remembered that he'd left this morning. She obviously wouldn't be happy to be reminded of him when he wasn't here any longer.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I shouldn't have brought him up."

She blinked up at me. "What? No, it's fine. I was just thinking about what's coming next; my next project. I'm. I'm a bit nervous about it."

"Why're you nervous?"

I fixed my hands on the chair's handles again when Bella finally inched towards the edge of the bed and maneuvered herself into the chair. For a confessed klutz, she managed remarkably well and only stumbled once, catching herself before I could reach out to steady her. She also managed to get her leg propped onto the chair's leg support without any need of help from me.

I didn't know whether or be happy about that or not; I did know that I didn't feel much like smiling. I also knew I was fighting random, crazy impulses to bend down and kiss the top of her head.

What the fuck was wrong with me? _Focus, you dickhead. _

"Why?" I asked, getting myself, and the conversation back on track.

"Why what?"

"Why're you nervous?"

"It's a period piece," Bella explained as I pushed her chair down the corridor. I had to blink a few times to reorient myself into the conversation. After a few seconds, my brain caught up and realized she meant her next job.

"You've done one before, though, right? A movie set in the past, that's what you meant by period piece, I'm assuming."

Of course she'd done one. I'd seen it. Several times.

"Yes, that's what I meant. I did have a supporting role in _A Time for Roses_. But this time I'll be lead. And I've got to do an accent, too." I could see her biting her lip in the elevator's reflective walls.

Bella lapsed into silence when the doors closed. I didn't interrupt her thoughts with my own, mostly because I wasn't sure they wouldn't come out as gushing praise to the point I sounded like a crazed psycho fan. I was close enough to that for comfort with the dreams, thanks. I didn't need to make my insanity known.

Not to mention the urge to give her a comforting touch to the shoulder was almost overwhelming.

The doors opened, saving me from the impulse to fill the silence with prattle or fuck up utterly and touch her again. I pushed her wheelchair towards the back courtyard, nodding hello to a few acquaintances as we passed. Thankfully, none of them commented on the oddity of me pushing a patient through the hospital.

The courtyard wasn't much. A hospital patron had arranged for the benches and tables after staying here for the month his wife had been in our care. A few years later, an Eagle Scout candidate had landscaped it and now his troop came in once or twice a year to maintain it for us as a service project. It wasn't a big draw for the hospital, mostly it was used by employees to eat lunch on the few days seasonable enough, and dry enough, to enjoy the outdoors.

I'd never set foot here until today.

"Wow," Bella said. "This is really beautiful."

I snorted. "It's all right, for what it is."

She half-turned in the chair and smacked at my hand, an admonishing scowl crinkling up her face. It wasn't an attractive look for her…but it was damned adorable, the little nose-wrinkle just adding to it. I was in so much trouble.

"It's a beautiful garden, Edward. Man, I'm starting to see why they call you Doctor Grouch; though I think curmudgeon suits you better. Can't even enjoy a beautiful garden when you see one," she tsked. "Shall I discuss with you the merits of stopping to smell the flowers?"

I raised an eyebrow in the face of her indignation but I couldn't hold the expression. "All right, it's a fine courtyard. A lovely balance of functional seating paraphernalia mixed with various sturdy table items for the purpose of balancing a food or beverage of choice," I began, then found and held her eyes, "shall I wax poetic about the flora now? Snip a few pansies for inhalation purposes?"

Bella's scowl had stretched into a grin while I spoke; she was almost laughing by the time I finished. "God, you are so much like Alice it's almost frightening."

Knowing what I knew of my sister, I couldn't help but be a little concerned myself.

Before I could answer, however, a voice boomed across the courtyard, surprising both of us and making Bella jump a bit.

"Look who's up and about! Our resident celebrity!"

I'd never had much interaction with the EMT currently eating up the ground between us with his long-legged stride. I knew him by reputation only. Based on what the nurses I worked with had to say about him, the reputation wasn't exactly sterling. That in itself would have put my back up when he started his approach – seeing Bella move backwards a bit into her wheelchair just added to the impulse.

"Bella?" I asked quietly. "Do you want me to get rid of him?"

"It's all right. Exuberant fans aren't anything new," she said softly.

It was as if I could hear what she didn't say; that while they weren't anything new, they weren't anything she appreciated, either.

"Necessary evil?" I suggested.

She half-turned to face me again, her eyes were wide with what looked like surprise mixed with a little gratitude. "Yes, exactly."

Anything else I would have said became moot because Newton had finally closed the distance and was standing right in front of her. Or, rather, towering over her. I had another crazy impulse, this one involving throwing myself in front of her, bodyguard style.

I was beginning to think I needed professional help.

"Well, got to say it, Bella, you look fuckall better than you did the last time I saw you."

_Oh yeah,_ I thought to myself, _this guy just oozes smooth. Is it a wonder he's still single?_

That was the first thought; the second was a deep and abiding hatred of how familiar he was with her, using her first name as though they were old friends and not absolute strangers.

Looking down as I was, I could see the stiffness in her shoulders and the way her hands held the wheelchair's armrests with near white-knuckled strength. That was the only sign of her agitation over the encounter. Her voice was as open and friendly as I'd ever heard it.

"And when was that?" she asked, in a tone that was nothing but politely curious. God, she was good.

"Spread out all over Route 1 the other night. My partner and I were the ones that responded to the call and brought you here. God, you were some mess, too."

I saw her back press into the chair again and had to work to not just spin the chair in a 180 and run for it.

"I can imagine I was. And thank you so very much for the visual."

"No problem," Newton said affably. The sarcasm was, quite clearly, lost on the EMT. "Too bad your seat belt didn't hold. Near as I could tell you must've really flown and your friend barely got scratched up. That's the fuckall of luck right there, Bella. You piss off some higher power or something? Deal with the devil, maybe?"

It was everything I could do to not put my hand on Bella's shoulder, the top of her head, touch her _somewhere_ in support in the face of this utter boor going on and on. I expended near Herculean effort, though, and managed to keep my hands to myself again.

"Nothing so elaborate as that, I'm afraid," Bella laughed. God, she actually laughed. It was a different laugh than just a few minutes ago, though. Not as light and giggling, this one sounded more forced. I looked up at Newton's face to see if he was going to back off because of the tense quality of her voice.

He wasn't. Not because of any sense of her tension. Based on the way he was smiling, it was clear he thought she was enjoying herself just as much as he was. Either Newton was supremely stupid (a given, really) or I was getting so close to Bella that I could distinguish the changes in her laughter.

The latter would no doubt be keeping me up tonight.

"Mike, damn it, are you out here?"

All three of us turned towards the doors leading into the hospital and to the other man standing there. If I was to give his expression a name, I'd probably settle on exasperation. Having spent the past few minutes in Newton's company, I thought the other man came by it honestly.

"Ben! Over here, man. Come see who I found out for a walk!"

The other man, Ben, jammed a cap onto his head in the fashion of a true Northwesterner, as if afraid even brief contact with direct sunlight would lead to catastrophic damage to exposed skin. He walked towards us slowly, his eyes on his partner and on me, but avoiding. I don't know why, but I got the feeling he was looking away because he thought anything else would be rude.

I immediately liked the other man.

Mike practically pulled his partner over to us when he was close enough. "Bella, this is my partner Ben. He was with me the night we rescued you."

I had to work very hard not to cough out loud. He made it sound like they'd both carried her, and a troupe of orphans, from a burning building.

"Then I owe you my thanks as well," Bella said to Ben, smiling at him. She didn't have to crane her neck to do so as Ben kept a few feet back to lessen the angle. I really did like this guy.

"It wasn't all that, we just responded to the call when it came in. You were unconscious, but stable for the most part. All we really did was transport you here."

His last word came on the heels of Newton reaching over to smack the back of his partner's head. "What'd you say that for?" he asked in what he clearly believed was a stage whisper.

"Because it's the truth? Look, Mike, we've got to get the rig back to the fire station. Angela and I have a sitter actually lined up for the night and I'm not risking being late."

"Angela?" Bella asked, a true smile stretching the corners of her mouth. "That wouldn't be the Angela from the fourth floor nurses station, would it?"

"Yes, ma'am, it would," Ben responded with a warm smile. "My wife."

"Well, then you'd better be moving right along. A woman that lovely deserves a night out with her husband."

"My sentiments exactly," Ben grinned back before excusing himself and answering his buzzing cell phone.

"So listen," Newton broke in, trying to get the conversation centered back on him.

I was still working very hard to not just reach over and punch him. I was an orthopedist; I knew just where to hit to cause him maximum pain while doing me the minimum damage.

"Yes?" Bella asked politely.

"I was thinking that since you're mobile now and everything, I could take you out sometime."

There was a beat of stunned silence. I don't know what Bella was thinking, but my thoughts centered around not thumping the back of this moron's head for his audacity.

"Oh, Mike, I'm very flattered—"

"Aww, don't say that right off, like you're going to say no without even thinking about it." He paused and then smiled at Bella, making sure to show off a dimple in his cheek. I think he was under the impression that the action was charming in some way. Then he lowered down closer, bending at the waist to bring his face closer to hers.

I had a mad impulse to jerk the chair backwards a few feet.

"Really, Mike, I—"

"Nothing much, just a coffee or something," he said, breaking into her refusal again. I got the feeling he was turned down a lot and had perfected this technique through years of practice. "Maybe dinner, a few drinks? I mean, you can't go dancing, but you could come watch me? I do a fabulous..."

Whatever dance Newton thought he excelled at, we never found out. Ben had ended his phone call and realized, apparently, what his partner was up to. By the disgusted look on his face, he wasn't happy about it, either.

Ben took hold of his jacket and pulled him backwards and away. "Nice to meet you, Bella, but we really do have to be going." Ben called out as he steered Newton back towards the hospital and out of sight.

"I need to buy that man a beer," Bella said when they were both out of sight, her shoulders slumping as the tension left her body.

"I'm hoping to God you mean Ben."

Bella turned to look up at me, a smile sparkling in her eyes. "And if I meant Mike?"

I snorted. "If you meant Mike Newton, I'd have to take you straight up to the Neurology wing for evaluation and testing."

Bella's laughter carried us all the way back up to the fourth floor. I was starting to doubt that I'd ever find a more beautiful sound, even if a searched a lifetime for its equal.

God, I seriously needed help. Or a swift kick in the ass. I'd settle, in the short term for getting her back to her room, dropping her off, and getting the hell out of here before I did something supremely stupid.

Like ask her out myself.

It wouldn't occur to me until much later that Bella hadn't simply told Newton she was seeing someone to discourage his advances.

~*~*~*~* Bella

As lovely as my room was, I frowned when Edward backed his way into it and turned me towards my bed. I would have happily stayed out in the courtyard for several hours, even if it meant risking the return of the officious little jerk of an EMT in the process. I wanted to say it was because the warm air and sunshine felt good against my skin, I wanted to think it was because the gardens had been so lush and beautiful.

But I'd never been much of a liar; I couldn't even lie to myself.

Because I knew the only reason I wanted to be back at that courtyard was the man currently pushing my wheelchair. And I knew that my desire to stay there wouldn't have been as pronounced if someone else had taken me for a tour.

I was starting to wonder if a giant P was forming on my forehead, marking me as the heap of pathetic I truly was.

A crush on my doctor. Did it honestly get more cliché than that?

I was still berating myself for it when Edward set the brakes on my chair and came around to my good side.

"Do you need a hand getting back into bed?"

Who would have thought a simple phrase would have my insides dancing the tango? I shouldn't have been surprised, though, given my current, and pitiable, state. Made even more so from my first instinct to say "yes" for entirely the wrong reasons.

"No, I'm fine, thanks. I've got to get myself moving around anyway, don't I? No time like the present."

I'd never been what anyone could term graceful, not even in the loosest translation. Add in a leg in an immobilizer and a cast on my left arm and it got even worse. I inched, hobbled, twisted and bobbled, until finally I was settled back onto my hospital bed, my face red and breathing heavy from the effort of it.

"That was quite well done," Edward said beside me. He'd taken the plastic cup from my bedside table and poured water into it for me.

I couldn't stop the snorted laughter. "You're such a liar."

"No, really, Bella. Most people try to overcompensate on their good sides when they've got a new cast. You seem to know just how to balance both your injured and non-injured sides."

I laughed again, grateful that this time it sounded more genuine and less self-effacing. "I guess all those years of klutzdom have trained me well for my secondary career of patient."

I smiled up into his emerald eyes and felt my breath catch when I found him smiling right back down at me. Christ, the man was lethal when he smiled. I knew I should look away, break the eye contact, make some sort of stupid remark that would have us both laughing again. Nothing came to me, witty or otherwise. I was locked in his eyes as surely as a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.

The analogy caused a shiver of apprehension to dance down my spine because I had this feeling that the outcome would be the same for me as it was for the deer.

"Edward," I said softly. I still don't know why, or what I'd intended to say after that, because a second later, the door to my room pushed open and Alice walked in.

"Hi, Bella! How's your...Edward? What are you doing here still?"

It was almost comical, the way he straightened slightly (had he really been that close to me just a second before?) and took a step backwards. Like we'd been on a front porch somewhere and my mother had just flipped on the lights. I wondered if he had the same, slightly guilty, look on his face that I felt on my own. He'd turned towards his sister before I had a chance to see any sort of expression there.

"Hello, Alice," he said in his calm, even voice. "Dare I hope this means you're finished with my kitchen?"

Alice laughed. "Hardly, I've got a few days left on it. I want to make sure it's got the right flow to it and the organization just isn't coming to me the way I'd like. So I thought I'd come out here and check on Bella. That doesn't answer my question, though. Why are you still here? I mean, it's not like I didn't have to practically twist your arm to come in the first place."

My heart sank down into my stomach. She had to coerce him into coming here? Well, there went the feeble little hope that he'd stopped by on his day off that I'd entertained briefly when I woke up and found him staring at my laptop.

"Bella and I started talking about computer games, then Angela suggested I take Bella for a little outside time given that the sun was still making its appearance and she couldn't do it because she had other patients to see to."

The walk hadn't been his idea either? And I didn't think my heart could sink any lower into my stomach, but it did. I'd never considered myself a fanciful person. It was a byproduct of where I lived and what I did for a living, constantly surrounded by fancy and make-believe. Yet I'd still managed to romanticize a simple visit and walk around a hospital back garden. I guess I wasn't that jaded after all.

"Bella?"

I looked up at the sound of my name, eyes traveling between Edward and Alice. I realized I had been so wrapped up in my own self-pity, I'd utterly lost track of the conversation around me.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I was just wondering if you were going to say goodbye to Edward?"

I saw that he was all the way at the door, his hand on the knob. So now I was ungrateful as well as pathetic. I felt my cheeks heat.

"Of course. I'm sorry I zoned out there for a moment. Thank you for the walk outside," I said and felt a smile creep onto my face, "and for standing by me in the face of the exuberant EMT fan from hell."

The smile was back on his face. "It was my pleasure, Bella," he said and I had a brief moment of thankfulness that the wretched heart monitor was no longer attached to me. I don't even want to think of the reaction the spike in my pulse would have caused. I envisioned a team of doctors rushing in, calling out codes.

I was really going to have to stop watching medical dramas on TV.

"Mine, too," I added before my brain could stop it.

I saw something like surprise on his face for a single second before the door banged into him and knocked him back into my room.

"Ooops," said the voice of the one nurse, Jessica. "Oh! So sorry, Doctor, I didn't realize you were standing there."

"Its fine, Jessica," he said, "I shouldn't have been standing right in front of it."

Jessica pushed right past him, a huge bouquet of flowers and balloons in her hands. "These just arrived," she said as she placed them on the table. "There was a card, too."

She brought it over to me and I opened it. _Best wishes for a speedy recovery, maybe we should have gotten more bubblewrap?_ There was no signature, but I didn't need one. There were only two people who knew about the bubblewrap joke.

"Who're they from?" Alice asked, walking over to my side after arranging the flowers.

"Daniel," I said with a smile, remembering that we weren't alone just in time to keep from saying who else they were from. It was probably the worst kept secret in Hollywood right now, but I'd be damned if I was going to be the one offering proof of my very dear friend's romantic life to the pack of vultures that followed the poor guy around wherever he went. We'd become close over the past few months, and my fondness for my costar and love interest in the movie had only grown with each day we spent together on set. I'd also come to utterly adore his longtime, and still unofficial girlfriend.

It was one of the oddities of Hollywood life that was still very difficult to explain to people outside the business. That I could spend hours kissing a guy while his girlfriend watched, then spend hours in my trailer with her playing _Guitar Hero_ ten minutes later.

Alice nodded and took the card, glancing at it with a nod that there was no signature on it, and placing it with the flowers. She also snapped a picture of them and made a note on her blackberry for which I was grateful. I'd want to describe the flowers when I wrote and thanked them.

"You mean...those are from...ohmygod!"

We all turned towards the gasp and giggle on the other side of the room. Jessica was staring at the flowers as though Daniel himself might just spring from the center of one of the roses.

I was still feeling rather protective of my former costar and was about to level a glare at the nurse, positive she was one of the rabid women that fed into the hysteria that surrounded him.

Thankfully, Alice seemed to know the direction of my thoughts and she deftly got the nurse straight out of my room before I could give my lecture about respecting people's privacy and not making an already nightmarish situation worse.

"Hang on, Alice," I said as soon as she was back in the room with me. "Those came here? How...Fuck, tell me the press release didn't say where I was?"

I didn't have quite the feeding frenzy of cameras following me around as Daniel did (thank God), but I was a close second. It was one of the things we'd bonded over during filming.

Alice was shaking her head, her hand taking mine. "No, Bella. It didn't say where you were. In fact, I think it said a Seattle area hospital. You're safe here. Daniel probably called Jacob to find out where you were." Her smile grew when she picked up the envelope that had been attached to the card. "Actually, I know he did. They're addressed to Betty Snipe."

My shoulders relaxed at once. Betty Snipe was the pseudonym I used whenever I had to check in somewhere utterly anonymously as it had no connection to me whatsoever. It was, however, close enough to my own name that if I messed up and signed my real name, it wouldn't be a noticeable goof.

I was very conscious of Edward moving closer to me and away from the door. This made me ridiculously happy for reasons I didn't even want to think about.

"Your manager's giving out your whereabouts? That doesn't sound very secure."

I smiled up at him, touched at his concern. "He knows Daniel and I are friends, it's not like he's taken out a front page ad in _Variety_ with pictures and directions."

"Still, doesn't word, I don't know, spread? I mean, this guy probably wasn't calling florists himself, right? He'd have, well, people for that, right?"

I felt my smile spread. Edward's concern for my anonymity here as well as his misperception about an actor's life, even though he had his own family connections to that life...it made me feel almost like a regular person.

"Daniel actually does have something like that. He's got an agent and manager as well as an assistant, but I'm pretty sure," I had to stop and pause there. I was actually pretty sure that Tracy was the one phoning the florists, but I didn't need to say that out loud. "I'm pretty sure that he did the flower thing on his own. Even if he didn't, anyone he'd ask to do it would no more leak where I am to the press than Alice would."

"That's right," Alice piped up. "If Jess so much as whispered your whereabouts to anyone, not only would she get fired, she'd be blackballed from ever working in LA again. She might be able to get a job asking if you want fries with your meal. Maybe."

"We might all seem a bunch of strangers, and for the most part we are. But there's an intricate social network behind the scenes that goes beyond anything even Mark Zuckerberg could have ever dreamed up."

Alice laughed. "You'd be amazed at how boring it is while the high mucky mucks are spouting their lines at one another."

I stuck out my tongue at Alice, she blew me a kiss. Then I muttered something about insubordination and she just laughed.

"PAs talk to each other," she continued as if she'd never stopped to be all childish at me. "We talk to caterers, the costumers, prop handlers, set dressers, assistant directors. If you want to know the real inside scoop about what goes on in Hollywood? You don't ask the actors, you ask the guy who restocks the bagels and coffee in the trailers."

I sighed. "Yeah, and unfortunately, the press knows it too. They're always trying to bribe them to dish out about the actors and every now and then they get lucky."

Edward was at my bedside again. "Oh yeah?" He turned from his sister to face me. "And what would the bagel and coffee guy tell me about you?"

I laughed. "That I'm a complete slob? I'm actually fairly boring when it comes to all that."

"I don't know about that."

"About what?"

Edward smiled at me. "I'm finding it hard to believe there's anything boring about you, Bella."

"You might be surprised," I laughed. My laugh grew and soon his joined it. I'd never really thought much about a guy's laugh. Most of them just sort of chortled or chuckled. Edward did, though. And it was such a deep, rich sound, I found myself wanting more of it. I wracked my brain; trying to elaborate, maybe tell a few self-effacing stories staring myself as the klutzy, slobby actress to see if I could make him laugh again, but a soft buzzing sounded from the vicinity of his backside.

I looked at him with another grin. "I think you're butt's ringing."

My smile widened when he looked lost at first, then realized what I'd meant.

Edward reached into his back pocket and pulled out a slim, black phone, his eyes still alight with the smile his laughter had left behind. "Excuse me a moment."

The room went quiet as he pressed a few buttons and spoke softly into his phone.

"I've got to go. The ER doc downstairs heard I was in the building and apparently there's an orthopedic case downstairs and they'd like my opinion since I'm already in the building."

"Of course," I said, nodding. "Once again I've kept you too long with my prattle, keeping you from making the world safe for proper bone growth."

Edward had come back over to my side and his hand reached down to touch mine. I was pleased to see that my comment had put the teasing smile back into his eyes. "I don't mind your prattle in the slightest, Bella," he said and I felt his fingers squeeze mine.

My breath wanted to catch, my pulse skittered, and I had to work to keep my expression and breathing neutral as he turned and left the room.

My efforts were for naught, however. Alice knew me far too well. She was standing at the foot of my bed, staring at me with her arms crossed.

"Want to tell me what that was all about?"

"What?" I said, trying to play innocent.

"You know perfectly well what, Bella. You're _flirting_ with my brother."


	6. Chapter 6

_AN#1 - Characters still don't belong to me, but what they do in this story does!_

_A/N#2 - Thanks so very, very much to everyone that's favorited or put the story on alert. Very special thanks to everyone who has reviewed, your words give me the warm fuzzies every time I get the email alert on my phone. _

* * *

Chapter 6

The question hung between us. Well, it wasn't a question. It was a statement, but the effect was the same.

"No, I'm not," I answered at last.

"Yeah, Bella, you are. You're flat out, dead on, flirting with my brother."

"We were just talking."

"Of course you were. You were just talking, for hours as I understand it, with my brother who once set a speed record for performing rounds because he is all business with his patients."

The smile that had started to curve the corners of Alice's mouth spelled nothing but trouble.

"Alice..."

She turned the full effect of that smile on me and I groaned.

"Alice."

"Oh relax, Bella, it's not like I'm going to run up and tell him or pin a badge to your chest that says 'Hello, my name is Bella and I have a crush on my doctor,' or anything. I can be subtle."

"No, you can't," I sighed, resisting the urge to rub at my eyes. The pressure wouldn't help my healing black eyes in the slightest. "Which is why I want you to get off this train of thought. Right now."

Alice just batted her big eyes at me. "If you really want me to, I will."

Another sigh, this one following a deep intake of breath. "I really want you to."

My assistant just smiled and leaned over my bed to kiss my cheek. "No, you don't. But I will have to say that if you hurt my big brother with your wicked Hollywood starlet ways I'll have to come after you with claws unsheathed."

"A truly frightening sight to behold," I said, resigned. "I'm not going to hurt anyone because I'm not flirting. Edward is just my doctor, and as soon as I'm out of this hospital and recovering at the lodge, I probably won't even see him again apart from follow up visits."

I wasn't going to think about the ache that little speech started in my chest.

Alice's face went into an almost frown. She didn't look sad or angry, more it was determinedly contemplative. It set off alarm bells inside my head. "Stop whatever you're hatching right now."

"I'm hatching nothing."

I heard the unspoken "yet." Silence filled the room for a few minutes, while I thought up ways to waylay Alice from whatever ideas were churning around in her mind, up to and including sending her back to LA. I couldn't do her to that, though. This was her vacation as much as it was mine and I knew just how much she'd been looking forward to this time with her family.

"The real problem is that Edward doesn't date," Alice said, breaking the silence.

"He doesn't?" I could have kicked myself for letting the question slip.

"No, not in high school at all. I think that changed a little in college, but the only serious girlfriend was when he was in medical school. Serious enough to get engaged. Then it fell apart somehow."

"Somehow?" I was amazed at Alice's lack of information. I mean, this was Alice, after all. She knew more about what was going on in Hollywood than Perez Hilton.

"Yeah. I was in high school at the time. All I knew was that one day mom told me that Edward's engagement was off. I asked why and she shrugged. Apparently Edward didn't tell her, either. We suspect that Emmett knows, but brothers are about as close-lipped as sisters with each other's secrets and he's proved remarkably immune to my wheedling all these years."

"You're still trying to find out?"

"Of course I am. You know how much I hate an unsolved mystery."

I did know. She was still pissed off she'd never found out what happened to a certain hairbrush that had disappeared from my trailer on my last film.

I suddenly brightened. "So, see? There's nothing for you to do. I'm not flirting and Edward doesn't date."

Alice gave me a look that said "nice try" and I stifled a groan. The best I could do at this point was to hope that she'd find something to distract her.

I liked Edward, probably too much for anyone's good, and I didn't want Alice's unwanted matchmaking making him feel like he needed to stay away from me to save himself the pestering.

At the same time, I knew that was probably the best thing. Edward was my doctor, I was in Washington for a few months and then I'd be back to California, to my crazy life with its odd schedules and press tours and all of that.

But I didn't want the best thing. I wanted more time with Edward. And that was bad, bad. Nothing good was going to come of walking down that road. Finding that I didn't care wasn't helping matters.

"Bella? Hello?"

I looked up at Alice. "I'm sorry, Alice, what?"

She gave me a knowing smile and groaned again, both at her tenacity and my own self-destructive thoughts. I needed to stop this before it got out of hand.

I was afraid it was too late.

Just then, Angela poked her head through the door and saved me from hearing any of the thoughts swirling around Alice's dangerous mind. "Alice? Your mother's called at the nurses' station looking for you. Shall I put the call in here?"

I watched as Alice's spine stiffened and an expletive escaped her lips. She turned a smile to the nurse and shook her head. "No, thank you, Angela. Can you tell her I'll call her later?"

Angela just smiled. "Sorry. She said you'd say that and I was to remind you that she's been calling your cell since yesterday and it keeps going to voicemail."

I couldn't help but grin. Alice's tenacity was, apparently, a genetic thing. I'd been subjected to Alice's version so many times; I was woman enough to admit I was getting a kick out of watching her being the recipient for a change.

"Tell her we're about to start working, right, Bella?"

I shrugged, then shook my head. "Better just answer it. I have this odd feeling she's not going to give up until you answer." I feigned innocence. "I wonder why I feel this way?"

Alice flipped me off and nodded to Angela. "Go ahead and send it in then, thank you."

Angela smiled back and the door shut quietly behind her.

I had to admit curiosity over Mrs. Cullen calling the nurses' station like that and asked Alice as much. "What was that about?"

"Dad used to be an attending here, down in the ER. When he decided the hectic pace of that life wasn't for him anymore, mostly that it was a heart attack waiting to happen, he moved back to Forks and practice at the hospital there. OMC didn't want to lose him entirely so he sits on the Board of Directors now."

I nodded. "And the nurses would know it isn't wise not to help the wife of a board member."

"I doubt Mom would ever take retribution, especially against a nurse, but not one of them is willing to take that chance."

Just then the phone in my room rang and Alice gave off a very exasperated sigh.

"Hi, Mom," she began, apparently cut off from saying more when Esme started. "No, Mom, I'm n-...Mom, I really ca-...Mom, I'd rather n-...I can't really leave Bel-."

I tried to pretend I wasn't listening by opening my laptop again and glancing through my email. Mostly because the Cheshire cat smile at hearing Alice get a taste of her own persistence probably wouldn't be appreciated and the only way to lose the smile was to distract myself.

I managed the distraction while returning an email from a friend. I was halfway through my response when I heard the phone drop back onto its base.

"Everything all right?" I asked. The shock Alice's face told me that everything was far from all right. "Alice, what happened?"

"I don't know how she did it. One minute we're talking, she's asking me how I'm feeling, how you are. Wants your room number so she can send flowers and such," she paused and shuddered, "next thing I know she's got me agreeing to go to the dessert social with her quilting guild tonight."

I knew Esme was a quilter, and a talented one. I slept under a log cabin quilt she'd made for my birthday last year. "But isn't that her ploy...?" I started.

"Yes," she groaned from behind the hands that had come up to cover her face. "The guild members, they're mostly the same age, they all bitch about their single children, and spend their time matchmaking among themselves. Why would they do such a thing, Bella? Intentionally cause misery in the name of romance?"

I wasn't about to point out that Alice had been doing the same thing to me not ten minutes ago. Mostly because it wouldn't do any good – Alice was beyond reason right now.

"Maybe it'll be all right? I mean, maybe she just wants to show you off?"

"Oh no, she doesn't. She actually mentioned it specifically. They've got a new member, and she's bringing her son." Alice groaned again.

I couldn't help but press my lips together to keep the giggles at bay. Poor Alice. If I'd been a mean girl, I'd have said something about those that live by the sword...but I wasn't mean. I fixed a smile onto my face and tried to find a positive spin.

"Okay, so you're stuck with this social thing. What's the worst that can happen?"

"What's the worst? I'll tell you. Ned Philpot. That's the worst."

I raised an eyebrow. The name didn't ring any bells. "And Ned is...?"

"The last single son my mother paraded in front of me. A lovely boy, still single, successful career man who ran his own business."

"Why do I have a pit of dread in my stomach?"

"Because you're exceptionally bright, Bella. Old Ned was a 31 year old accountant who informed me around his size-eight-month-pregnant beer belly that he not only owned his own business, a feat he achieved due to the money he'd saved from living at home, but that he spoke fluent Klingon. Klingon, Bella."

I couldn't hold back any longer. I dissolved into laughter so hard my insides started to hurt. "Oh, Alice!"

"Yeah, oh Alice is right. I can't go through another night with Ned trying to seduce me in Klingon while he has quiche crumbs in his moustache."

"I'm sure it won't be as bad as all that," I tried to soothe her.

"No, it won't. Because I'm not going. No way, no how. She can't make me. I'm an adult."

I agreed with her whole heartedly knowing full well she'd be going to the social.

She was still insistent when she left a few hours later (in enough time to shower and change before the dessert started). I had a post it note set on my laptop to remind me to text message her via our wireless carrier's website (God, I couldn't wait to use my cell phone again) at precisely 8.46 so she'd have an excuse to leave early. I also had strict instructions that if I failed to send the text message, she would personally see to it my life became a living hell.

That was my best friend. Always calm, collected, reasonable and in no way prone to exaggerations at all.

I grinned and pushed aside the remains of my hideously unappetizing dinner and opened up my laptop for a bit of playtime to kill the time before I could close the door on another day. Unfortunately, this time my little artificial world didn't keep me as entertained. They didn't want to do much, just eat and sleep and play guitar.

I decided not to admit that it was because my mind kept wandering, wondering what Edward's Sims looked like, if we played on the same neighborhood map. I wondered what a Sim Edward would look like…

…I exited the program in the next second because I felt my mouse moving towards the buttons that would have me saving my current game and starting a new one. Not that there was anything wrong with starting a new game…but there was something infinitely wrong with starting one that starred a Sim version of a real person.

The last stop on that train trip was speaking fluent Klingon and I wasn't quite prepared to go there just yet.

I was still at loose ends, though. I didn't want to read and I wasn't tired yet, which left the last, and best, way to kill time.

Web surfing.

I opened up my browser and settled in to checking my favorite sites. An hour later I'd seen my share of cute puppies and kittens, the weather, the news and my personal email. The next place was one I both loved and dreaded.

It was Jake's idea for me to set up a public Facebook. I'd balked at first; I didn't like putting so much of myself out there for the public to drool over. It took him a few weeks to talk me around to accepting it and now I was grudgingly glad he had, especially in light of the fact that at least two people had set up profiles pretending to be me.

As Jake said – if I was going to be there anyway, I might as well control the content. And he was right. Once my public page went live, the fans were quick to slap down any posers. There were a handful that were…less than pleasant (the EMT guy), but most of my fans were truly lovely people.

I smiled as I paged through the wall posts wishing me a speedy recovery. There were pictures of flowers, jokes, poems, songs and funny videos, all posted to help cheer me up. I smiled over all of them and had a few good laughs at some of the videos.

It never ceased to both amaze and touch me, the sheer quantity of people interested in following the minutiae of my life. I'd tried at first to answer every wall post made with a personal response – but after a week of that I was so stressed from trying to keep up with it, Jake made me stop.

Or he'd tried to. If a fan posted something that truly touched me or made me laugh out loud, I would respond back with a personal message. My account was disabled from accepting personal messages, though. Jake knew as well as I did that I'd try to answer those personally as well.

_If they care enough to send a letter in the mail, Bells, answer that. Don't waste what little free time you have on electronic post-it notes."_

I smiled. Jake certainly did have an innate ability to cut through the bullshit.

I made a quick status update of my own, thanking everyone for the well wishes and the things they'd sent to cheer me up before logging off.

Because I still wasn't ready for bed, I logged on to my personal page – the one only a handful of close friends and family knew about. Unfortunately, none of my friends were on so chatting for a bit was out. Instead, I checked their status, answered a few personal messages…and hovered the mouse over the link that would show me all of my friends.

I clicked on the picture of Alice.

I looked to the left of her profile page to see her friends.

He had a Facebook.

My heart did a little dance in my chest and my mouse pointer hovered again. I opened his profile page, it was blocked of course, to all but friends.

I drew in a deep breath and clicked "Add Friend."

I wasn't sure if he'd remember my pseudonym, so I added a message before sending it off.

I gasped when I little pop up box appeared mere seconds later, accepting the friend request. My heart was fluttering as I clicked on his wall page again. I smiled at the posts from Alice, admonishing him to answer his email, notes from his mother about luncheon dates. I was distracted from looking further when a chat box opened at the lower right of my screen.

_Edward Cullen: You're up late._

My heart leapt straight into my throat and my hands started to shake a bit.

_Betty Snipe: Not that late._

_EC: You're not in pain?_

I smiled. Apparently once a doctor, always a doctor.

_BS:_ _No, thankfully boredom doesn't hurt._

_EC: :-)_

I checked the clock on my computer – I was a minute late sending Alice's text. I jumped to the other website and sent it off. When I went back to Facebook, I was saddened to see the window had gone...

...until it popped back up again.

_EC: Where'd you go?_

_BS: Had to send a message off. Speaking of, why aren't you at dessert with A?_

There was a long pause.

_EC: Mom doesn't ask either of us anymore_

_BS: Knows you won't come?_

_EC: Last time Mom conned Emmett into it, he spent the whole evening burping as loud as possible, I got uninvited when I didn't empathize with Mom over her mortification. I think she's afraid I'd try it, too._

I was giggling like crazy.

_BS: And would you?_

_EC: In a New York minute. Those things are hell._

_BS: Poor Alice_

_EC: Don't you dare tell her what Em Did. Mom still won't speak of it, so Alice has no idea how we've managed to dodge the bullet all these years. She's been pestering us to tell, but so far we've managed to keep quiet._

_BS: How?_

_EC: It's harder for her to wheedle us over the phone when she can't turn the puppy eyes on us._

_BS: They are lethal, aren't they?_

I was getting a little sleepy and slunk down a bit into the hospital bed. I pulled up the covers as best I could while still keeping my hands free to type.

_EC: Still there?_

_BS: Mmm. Settling in, getting sleepy._

_EC: You have some friends with very odd names_

I smiled. He was trolling through my friends list just as I'd done with his and Alice's.

_BS: Most are pseudonyms, just like mine._

_EC: Good._

_BS: ?_

_EC: From the names alone, it looks like you hang around with a lot of porn stars_

I laughed full and long, because I knew just whose names he was talking about – a group of goofy guys I'd met while shooting _Shattered_ this past summer. They'd all decided to make up fake Facebook names one night after we'd come back from what they called a pub crawl. The point had been to delete them the next day…but they'd never been deleted and we still used them to correspond now that so much distance separated us.

_BS: Nope, no porn stars. Well a few former ones, but I'm not sayin who _

_EC: Tease._

_EC: Can I ask you something?_

_BS: Sure_

_EC: Why is your profile picture an angel's wings?_

_BS: Mom always says that as klutzy as I am, it's only due to my guardian angel working overtime that I'm still alive, she's said it since I was a kid, so I've always had this thing for angels._

_EC: ;lkdj_

_BS: Edward? Everything all right?_

There was a long pause again. I checked to see if he'd gone offline, but it didn't look like it.

_BS: Edward?_

_EC: Here. Fine. Dropped my beer bottle on the floor. No problem._

_BS: I suppose I should let you clean up. I need sleep anyway. Apparently I've got one more day of rest before therapy hell begins._

I picked my fingers up off the keyboard before I could do something supremely stupid. Like ask if he'd be coming by the hospital tomorrow.

_BS: Good night then, Edward._

_EC: Good night, Betty_

I giggled.

I logged off and closed my computer, wearing a smile to sleep and not even once wondering why Alice hadn't ever returned my text, or called to thank me for it when she'd successfully escaped the party.

*~*~*~*~*~* Alice

"And then I got another two machine-quilt requests from that lovely woman in Seattle and with what I'll make from that, John and I will have our vacation to Hawaii," the woman paused, "sewn up!"

"Oh, Phyllis, that's priceless," my mother laughed, touching her wineglass to the other woman's.

"It's corny as hell, Esme," Phyllis returned the glass clink, "but I couldn't resist it. I didn't show you, yet, did I? The flour sacks I found when John and I were in Bremerton?"

"No, you haven't. I might have to make you an offer on a few of them if you can spare them. I saw a fabulous pattern that would be perfect and I've never had your luck with tracking them down," my mother exclaimed, taking Phyllis' arm and smiling back at me over her shoulder. "Alice, are you coming?"

"Be right there," I said with as honest a smile as I could muster. It wasn't often I envied Bella, but right that moment I wished desperately for a sliver of my best friend's talent. It was going to take an Academy Award performance if I had to stay here a moment longer.

The night itself had been as much of a nightmare as I thought it would be. My mother and her quilting friends, their husbands all sequestered off somewhere with cigars and, no doubt, some sort of sporting event. I loved my mother's quilts, but talking about them for hours on end and exclaiming over patterns and fabrics was well beyond my capabilities.

The only saving grace in the whole thing had been one of the caterer's helpers. I'd seen him, of course, milling around the kitchen area and the food, carrying in restocks of crudités and freshening the dip. He was a beautiful bit of eye candy and provided a nice distraction. It was just a bonus that I found him trying to catch my eye as often as I was looking up at him.

I needed the distraction, too. It helped to have somewhere else to look while doing the avoidance dance with Ned, making sure I kept a healthy distance between us at all times. He'd graduated to a comb-over and polyester pants...it was vital that I make sure we never got anywhere near speaking distance. Mom wouldn't appreciate it if I ran screaming from the place.

I was just looking up to check the mantle clock for the fifteenth time in the last half hour, praying to God it was close to the time Bella was about to text me my escape plan. It was a delicate game. I couldn't hover around my mother the whole night, but I had to be close to my mother when the text came through. She had to hear my phone, and see the message, otherwise she'd never believe I didn't send it to myself.

When I looked up, however, I didn't see the clock, or Ned.

I saw a pair of blue eyes that were too beautiful to be allowed. Blue eyes framed by wavy, dirty blond hair that should not have looked as touchably soft as it did. It was Mr. Eye Candy the caterer himself, though now I'd seen him close up I was changing his name to Blue Eyes. There was no other choice, really, they were that striking.

"It doesn't go any faster if you watch it," Blue Eyes said around a wickedly good looking smile.

"I. I wasn't watching the clock. I was..."

"You were dragged here by your mother, I assume. It's either that or you're here for..." He broke off and turned to look over his shoulder towards Klingon Ned who was at the buffet table.

I shivered. "God, no."

"Are you sure? We were talking earlier and I got the distinct impression he was well on the way to wearing you down. As I understand it, his success is merely a matter of time. I'd hate to be the one to impede the progress of true love."

I craned my neck around to look my potential savior. Ned was watching us carefully.

"Please. Impede away. And quickly."

Blue Eyes laughed and stepped around me. His hand dropped to the small of my back as he led me through a set of French doors to the patio at the back of the house. There were a few tables here, set with small accent candles and dishes of munchies, as well as tiki torches along the deck for illumination.

We stopped at a table near the far edge of the deck, and he held out a chair for me before sitting in one himself. Happy as I was to be well away from the beady little eyes of Klingon Ned, I wasn't selfish enough to get the poor guy busted by his boss.

"You won't get in trouble, will you?"

"Why would I get in trouble?" cute caterer asked, adding an even cuter look of confusion on his face.

"Because..." I stopped when my phone suddenly chirped out it's text message notification. Bella had come through for me. I had my out, my escape. But I also had an extremely good looking caterer guy right in front of me.

I made a snap decision and plunged my hand into my purse. I pulled out my phone, made sure it was Bella's message, and silenced my cell phone before dropping it back into my bag.

"Problem?"

I smiled. "Not at all, just a friend saying hello. Now, then, you're certain you won't get in trouble for ducking out here with me? I mean, do you guys work in shifts?"

"I'm sorry, I'm still not following you."

"You don't work for the caterer?" I asked, my stomach suddenly filling with something that felt like lead.

"The caterer? No. My name's Jasper, I'm Phyllis' son. I was just helping out earlier when one of the staff had to cut out early."

I blinked several times, my brain not processing the information.

The cutest guy I'd laid eyes on, or talked to, in months wasn't a part of the catering team? He was...he was the son of a new member of my mother's quilting guild. And I was out back talking to him, a sight sure to have been noticed by at least one of the women in the room. Which meant my mother either knew already or was about to be told.

Fuck.

*~*~*~*~*~* Bella

"Are you asleep?"

"No, I'm awake, come on in. You're here very late."

"I had to check on my favorite patient. I couldn't sleep thinking you might be in pain, I had to come see for myself."

"That's very sweet of you, but not necessary."

He was sitting on the side of the bed now. He was leaning in towards me. He moved slowly, very slowly. He didn't stop until his mouth was very close to mine. Kissibly close.

"I also wanted to see you, Bella. Bella."

He was a breath away.

"Bella. BELLA!"

I sat straight up and looked wildly around. "Wha? Where?" I managed to stop just before saying Edward's name. I blinked, focusing on the room around me; I was still disoriented from the dream. I brought both hands up to scrub the last of the dream away...and hit myself in the head with my cast.

That woke me up the rest of the way.

"Alice?"

"Yes, Alice. Christ, what were you dreaming, Bella? You were thrashing all over the place."

I could feel the blush start on my cheeks. "I didn't say anything, did I?"

"Nothing intelligible. Just a bunch of yes, yes, more that sort of thing," Alice grinned, then winked, "makes a girl wonder just who you were dreaming about, boss of mine."

"Can it, Alice." I said, trying miserably to hide my blush.

"Oh no, not when you're turning that lovely shade of pink. That means I'm onto something. Who is it then, hmm? Dare I ask?" Her dark eyelashes fluttered at me. "Or do I already know?"

I sputtered a bit, trying to come up with some name that I could throw out to end this conversation, and came up completely blank. Well, not blank. I just came up with Edward's face and I wasn't about to confirm that suspicion any time soon.

"So, what happened to you last night?" I asked to distract her. I fully expected the distraction to fail, for her to push at me, poke and laugh and generally needle me into confession. I almost gasped in shock when she did no such thing. Her teasing smile slid from her face after only a few seconds' silence and was replaced by a blank, thinking stare.

"Alice?"

Nothing. No sign she'd even heard me, she was just staring off out the window. I leaned over and tugged at her arm. "Alice...?" I tried again. "Last night? What happened?"

She snapped back to herself in a second. "Last night? Nothing. Not a damned thing."

Oh yes something had, I thought to myself.

"You sure? I was expecting a call of thanks at the very least for my Kingon-saving text. I'm actually offended my efforts went unappreciated," I added an arm cross in for good measure.

Imagine my surprise when a blush bloomed over Alice's cheeks just as her lips turned down into a frown.

"Oh really?"

"It's nothing."

"I highly doubt that."

"Really, Bella, it's nothing."

The expression on her face said it was a far from nothing as you could get, but rather than press on verbally, I didn't say anything. I just stared at her with my arms still crossed.

"Oh, God, Bella, its got to be nothing. It can't be anything. Fucking hell," she said at last and dropped into the chair beside me.

"I take it Ned wasn't there?"

"No, he was there. But so was Jasper."

"And Jasper is...?"

"My worst nightmare," Alice said from behind her hands.

* * *

_Wanna make my phone happy? Review and it'll dance in my purse!_

_I don't own the characters, save Phyllis Hale. She's loosely based on my mom, an avid quilter who taught me everything she knows about log cabins, machine quilting, and flour sack material. Hi, Mom!_

_Sorry also for the brief little Alice bit – I'm not a fan of lots of PoV shifts within a chapter, but the only way that part worked was for it to be in Alice's voice._

_I've also started a twitter for fic related things - eibbil_words_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Same disclaimer – character names borrowed from Stephenie Meyer; what they do in this story belongs to me._

_A/N#2: As ever, huge hugs and thanks to those that have made Crash a favorite, added an alert, or seriously rocked my socks by leaving a review. Those are the little rays of sunshine that make my day, put a spring in my step…or make me giggle at my phone and make those around me wonder what the hell I'm up to._

_I've descended onto twitter in an experiment of sorts – so for the time being, you can find me there at eibbil_words. Updates on my progress for the next chapter for sure, possible teasers as well, I haven't decided._

_Thanks and have at!_

* * *

~*~*~* Edward

I woke with a one armed swipe towards the alarm currently blaring its way through the last vestiges of my very pleasant dreams. Bleary eyed I sat up and sighed when cruel reality beat down as surely as the rain against the roof over my head. Not only was I _not_ in a warm tropical pool, surrounded by palm trees, I was also not locked in the arms of a beautiful, brown eyed brunette with the most wicked little smile in existence. No, I was sitting in the middle of a tangle of sheets, sweat covering my forehead, and a rather insistent erection tenting my boxers.

A typical morning since Bella Swan had crashed into my life, in other words.

Morning wood was a common enough occurrence among my gender that by my age most of us barely registered it. It was a nuisance and nothing more.

As a doctor, I knew the medical reasons behind the purely physical bodily reaction. As a man, however, I knew that in this particular case, physiology had nothing to do with it. It had more to do with talking to Bella late into the night via our laptops and then suffering increasingly pornographic dreams about her all night long.

I sighed and ran both hands through my hair while attempting to institute some measure of control over my wayward mind. My imagination hadn't been this vivid since freshman year in high school when I noticed that girls' sweaters had started looking decidedly different.

I ignored the persistent throb in my groin and pulled on my running gear instead. The idea of another day started by fantasizing and jerking off in the shower was not appealing in the slightest. A few miles through the forest would set the problem to rights – and give me time to think. I needed to work through what was happening to decide what was real, and what was just a pitiable case of wishful thinking.

I left the house via the stairs leading to the second floor deck that ran the length of the back of my house. It wasn't that I was trying to avoid Alice...

All right, that's exactly what I was trying to do. My morning state hadn't yet righted itself and my running shorts did nothing to disguise it. If anything, they showcased it. The last thing I wanted was my sister chiming in on the condition of my groin. She had enough to say to me when my body was lying dormant.

Once clear of the house and on the path, I let my mind travel back over the events of the past two days. The last two nights. Mainly the time spent internet chatting with Bella through Facebook's instant messaging program.

Christ, could I get any nerdier than that? It was high school all over again. Back then I'd made sure I had no chance of ever getting laid by walking around school with an X-Files T-shirt on, announcing to any and all that I had nothing else to do on Friday* nights but watch TV.

Which, let's face it, I didn't. There were some nights I wondered about it as the credits rolled on Mulder and Scully's latest brush with alien invasion. Did my television viewing habits keep me alone on weekend nights, thus making me find other nerdy things to occupy my time then announce via T-shirt that kept girls away in some sort of cyclical nerd hell? Or was it really was the glasses and acne that kept the girls, and their sweaters, retreating from me on first sight? I was still sure it was the latter. After all, those girls had raging crushes on Mulder, so clearly they watched, too.

Nerdiness and datelessness aside, though, there was something off about my long evening chats with Bella. Don't get me wrong. They were wonderful. They weren't all laughing and teasing (though we did our fair share of that), we actually talked about more serious things, too. I'd been surprised to find us with like minds about things, even controversial topics. Hell, I even when we didn't agree I enjoyed debating with her.

Great as it was, though, it didn't make sense. If I was separated from someone I loved, the last thing I'd want to do before going to sleep would be talking to that person. By all accounts, Bella was in love with her manager. It would follow that she'd want to talk to him before she turned in for the night.

She hadn't. Not last night, not the night before.

In fact, last night Bella told me she had to log off because she kept dropping off, yet in the three hours we'd been chatting, she'd never gone silent for any long period if time – like, to take a phone call. It made me ridiculously happy that I was the last person she talked to before sleep, just as she was the last for me. Still the question poked at the back of my mind. What about Jake?

By the time my run was finished and I was walking back up the rear stairs to my bedroom, I'd resolved to just come straight out and ask Bella what was going on with her and her manager at the first opportunity. It wasn't because I was starting to get a little too interested in Bella as a woman and not as a patient. Nothing of the sort.

I just didn't like loose ends or unanswered questions.

That was my story and I was sticking to it.

Half an hour later I was showered and changed and on my way down to the kitchen for coffee and a scan of the morning headlines before heading into the Port and the hospital and Bel—

I stopped myself from even finishing her name. I was going to work, damn it, and nothing else. Story. Sticking to it. Right.

I was still muttering that mantra when I saw Alice at the bay window, a mug of coffee in her hands, staring out at the forest behind my house. It was just the distraction I needed.

"So. Just where were you last night?" I asked without preamble as I poured my own coffee from the carafe. "Mom was devastated that she had all three of her chickens in the same zip code for a change and one of them stood her up for Sunday dinner."

I expected a stunning retort of the type that usually removes a layer of skin.

I'd never thought I'd be ignored.

"Alice?"

My sister turned back around and looked at me, something off in her eyes. She wasn't angry; she wasn't any emotion I could name. She just...was. Staring back at me with a blank face. It was, frankly, a little creepy.

"I'm sorry, Edward, did you say something?"

My eyebrow rose. "Alice, what is it?" The doctor in me kicked in immediately and I crossed the kitchen to her. "Are you sick? Hurt?" My hand immediately rose to touch her forehead.

She batted it away. "Knock it off, I'm not sick."

That was more like it. "What's gotten into you, then? This is the quietest my kitchen's been since you hit Forks. No music, no disarray, no little sister singing herself hoarse to 80's punk. Not to mention it's not like you to blow off dinner with Mom. So what gives?"

"You want to know what happened? I'll tell you what happened. And I'll also tell you it's all your fault, and Em's fault, for not sharing the secret of getting out of the dessert socials." Her spiky black hair moved with the nodding of her head like a conductor's baton. "Yeah, that's it. I'm blaming you both." It sounded as though she'd just come to that conclusion.

I sipped from my mug, trying to follow the thread of her logic. It didn't work, I was still hopelessly lost. "Alice. What are you talking about?"

"It's all your fault. You let her drag me to that stupid ass dessert social, neither one of you ever shared the Get Out of Jail Free card with me, did you? No. So I had to go or risk her pouting at me every day for the next month."

I blinked. I was still lost. "Right. But the social was Saturday night, wasn't it?" I knew it was, Bella'd asked me why I wasn't there with Alice. "What does that have to do with dinner yesterday?"

_Stop bringing her name up every few minutes, idiot._ Story. Sticking to it. Lather, rinse, repeat.

"Because yesterday I ran into Jasper in the Port after I visited Bella and he asked if I knew if there was even a remote chance for decent sushi in the area. And, of course, Mom loves sushi, so I knew about the new restaurant that had just opened up, because she gushed to me about it in her last email, so I told him. Then he asked me to join him. In a moment of sheer stupidity, I said I would."

She put her mug on the counter and buried her face in her hands. "I'm so fucked."

I blinked. Then blinked again, waiting for her to continue. When it was clear she wasn't going to, I set down my own mug. "Hang on. I'm completely lost here. Who is Jasper?"

"Jasper. As in Hale. As in Phyllis Hale's son, Rosalie's brother?" She snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Any of these ringing a bell?"

Rosalie was the stunningly beautiful blonde who ran the day care in town and had snagged my brother's eye like a trout from the moment she'd bumped carts with him at the Thriftway. Unfortunately, he had yet to do anything about it – or, even ensure she knew he existed. I was pretty confident that she didn't. Poor bastard.

"Right, Mom said something about her friend being all excited that her son was...," I stopped because my brain had finally caught up and I suddenly had to work hard to keep the smirk off my face. "Oh."

"Get it now?" Alice accused.

"Yeah, you met him at the dessert, didn't you?"

"Yes," she groaned, her head now buried in her hands. "And if Mom gets word of this, I'm freaking doomed, Dard."

"It'll be all right, maybe she won't find out." And maybe the sky will turn out to be made of cottage cheese. From the death glare Alice shot me, she was thinking about the same thing.

"So just don't see him again," I offered. "She can't go ballistic over dinner, right?"

There was a long pause, and Alice had picked her coffee mug up again.

"Ahhhh," I smiled. "I interpret your silence to mean that keeping it to one illicit sushi venture is not an option. You must really like this guy."

The mug went down with a slam that almost covered the gasp she'd made when I hit that nail on the head. "No! No, I don't. And I'm not going to. It ends now. You're right. No more dinners, no movies. Doesn't matter how fucking charming he is, or how sweet his texts are or…any of it."

"But..."

"No, Edward. It ends now. This guy is just that, another guy. There are plenty of other ones out there. I'll just find another one. One Mom doesn't know and can't rub in my face for the rest of eternity that she set us up. So help me God, you'd better not say anything to her about this."

"I doubt she'd..." I tried again.

"Oh, yes she would. And she'd get that smug grin on her face every time she saw me. Argh! This is all your goddamned fault, Edward!" She finished with another loud groan of frustration and stalked out of the room. "Don't leave without me. I'm coming in to spend the day with Bella."

"Whatever you say, Bitchpants McCrabby," I called after her, using a name I'd heard on a webisode of one of my favorite shows.

"I heard that," she called back.

"You were meant to," I answered. "If the bitchpants fit..."

I could hear her stomping away over my head and grinned over my coffee. She must really like this guy. I turned that over as I finished my coffee. Two things sprang immediately to mind.

One, Mom would be absolutely and insufferably happy to learn of her success. She would probably attempt to renew her efforts with Emmett and I, however. We'd have to be extra vigilant to keep her from flexing her new skills in our direction. I toyed with the idea of throwing Em under the bus, as it were, about his crush on Rosalie. I discarded the notion at once…unless I got desperate.

Two, my brother and I were going to have to find this Jasper and have a little chat with him. Technically there had already been a first date, if we were counting the sushi. Alice had mentioned going to movies, and texting, in her tirade a few moments ago. Which meant an invitation had been given. For Emmett and I? Two dates equaled The Talk.

* * *

It was a very long five hours before my rounds were finished and I was able to make my way to the fourth floor to check on my fav— on my last patient of the day. It would have been a shorter time, but Mrs Henderson's wrist was showing signs of a bad heal due to her casting and we'd needed to reset the break and put on a new cast. It was, without a doubt, my least favorite thing to do. Even with a local, I knew I was causing pain and that idea was anathema to everything I'd wanted to do when I became a doctor.

I can still remember crying in my beer over it to my father not long into my residency. He'd patted me on the back , clinked his glass to mine, and promptly told me to either get over it or get a new line of work until magic wands were issued at graduation. Dad wasn't the sort to mince words.

So I got over it. Mostly. Inside, I still cringed with every wince or moan Mrs. Henderson made.

When I finally made it to her floor, the ward nurse stopped me just before I walked into Bella's room and told me she wasn't there. "Sorry, Doctor. Her physical therapy appointment started half an hour ago. We have kept her for your rounds, but we didn't know how long you'd be…?"

I nodded, vaguely remembering my pager going off at one point during the casting, but I hadn't been able to answer, or leave. As the page hadn't been coded 911, I hadn't given it any more thought, especially when it hadn't been repeated. "Don't worry about it. If she's made it to therapy, there's probably little for me to check on anyway regarding her surgery. I'll stop by after my office hours, see how the therapy went."

"They're probably still there. You know Emmett. He always keeps them way longer than their appointment times."

"Yeah, he does," I grinned. "Who knew he was a closet sadist all these years?"

The nurse laughed at the running joke and settled back behind her desk. What was with the smirking little smile on her face? Like she didn't believe a word I was saying. Christ, I hoped I was wrong about that. I'd hate to think I was that transparent.

Deciding I'd worry about it later, I headed down to the second floor physical therapy rooms, nodding here and there to nurses and other doctors as I passed. I told myself five different times to turn around, to go to my own department, to my office, and wait for the nurses station to inform me that Bella was back in her room. Or call Emmett later and ask him how it went.

Once again, I didn't listen to myself. Not even close. If anything, I moved quicker once I heard my brother's booming voice.

"That's it, Bella. Just one more pass and we'll see about getting you a cookie."

I grinned because I could have sworn I heard Bella tell him what he could do with his cookie.

The physical therapy room looked much like a gym, but with more people dressed in scrubs than in muscle shirts and gloves. There were mats and balls, nautilus equipment and free weights. Massage tables and even a sauna in one corner room and a whirlpool in another. It was as nice as any therapy room I'd seen during my internship and residency in Seattle, and I knew we were lucky to have one so well appointed. As with any place where people exerted themselves, the room carried the lingering aroma of that exertion. Much as the staff tried, nothing could ever really rid the place of eau de sweat. Emmett complained when a few of the nurses trucked in a case of Febreze. He said the room smelled like effort and success and to leave it as it was.

Based on the miracles I'd seen performed here? I couldn't argue the logic.

I walked over to where Bella and Emmett stood at the head of a set of twin bars fixed into the floor, handrails for those getting their feet under them again. I was very familiar with it as it was one of the pieces of equipment my patients used most.

"A cookie? That doesn't sound like much of a prize," I said when I stopped right behind them. "I'd complain if I were you, Bella."

I was wholly unprepared for what happened next.

Bella gasped and spun around, clearly startled. Her actions didn't sit right with her healing leg and I could tell she was about to topple over. My hands went out automatically, fingers clamping over her upper arms. My mind went blank of any thought other than the fact that Bella was, impossibly, in my arms. Her slight frame was pressed against mine as I steadied her – it was heaven and hell wrapped up in one embrace.

"Careful there, Betty," I said in a voice too low for Emmett to hear.

Bella's eyes raised to mine on a soft giggle. "Never going to live that one down, am I?"

"Nope. You'll be forever Betty to me now."

"Just don't let word get out, that's my super secret name," she grinned, her brown eyes piercing me in place like a bug in a science fair display.

"You don't think your secret is safe with me?"

"If I doubted that, I'd never have told you what it was."

There was a heart beating frantically somewhere; it was so loud, it almost drown out the cacophony of the therapy room. Then I realized it was mine. I needed to move Bella away from me before she heard it, too. Unfortunately, my body utterly misinterpreted the "move away from Bella" message; it heard "move hand to Bella's hip" instead and immediately complied.

I hadn't noticed what Bella was wearing as I'd approached beyond the basics. What looked like a well loved, and often washed, UCLA shirt and a pair of black stretch-type pants. Nothing unsual, especially not for physical therapy. There was one thing about the pants she wore that hadn't registered on first glance. They sat low enough on her hips that if a hand suddenly landed on the wide waistband, at least two fingers would be touching the thin strip of bare skin between pants and soft cotton t-shirt.

I knew this because that's where my index and middle fingers now were – resting on the warm skin of her hip. For reasons I couldn't name, my index finger decided I needed a bit more torture in my life and crooked just enough to stroke the skin there a few times.

Bella's eyes remained fixed on mine and looked somehow darker, the brown fathomless. I moved in for a better look and thought it might be possible to drown in them.

Close. She was so close now. I could smell her shampoo something subtle, floral – freesia? The fragrance my mother had insisted would be perfect for the guest bath in my house. It grew stronger as I leaned down closer. Her breath smelled of blueberries and coffee. She'd had muffins again. I licked my lips.

"Nice catch, Edward," boomed a voice to my left.

I didn't jump, but my hands did tense briefly against Bella's arm and hip as I was dragged back to reality with a jolt.

Christ, had I really been about to kiss Bella? Right here in the middle of the therapy room?

Yeah, I had. Thankfully, my brother had saved me that humiliation. I tamped down the part of me that wanted to hit him for interfering.

I made sure she was steady on her feet before releasing her arm and hip, stuffing my hands into my pockets to keep them from reaching for her again. I could only hope that everyone else in the room had been too wrapped up in their own activities that they hadn't noticed anything untoward.

"Right place, right time," I said with a shrug. "Besides, it wouldn't have been necessary if I hadn't snuck up and surprised you both."

"It's fine," Bella smiled again. Was it my imagination, or rampant wishful thinking again, that perceived a slight breathy quality to her voice?

_It's wishful thinking, you asshole,_ I chastised myself, _boyfriend/fiancé remember?_

Yeah. I did remember. Only too well.

Damn it all to hell.

"All right, Bella. How about that last pass you promised me before Dr. Doofus here showed up and nearly scared you into next week?"

I smacked Em's arm out of habit. It wasn't until I did that that I saw the look on his face.

Oh fuck.

My hopes that no one had noticed disappeared in the twinkle of one devilish eye.

"One more pass. Right. I can do this." Another bout of wishful thinking made me believe that she'd shot a quick glance up at me before beginning her journey down the fifteen-yard-long track. I tried to cover the fact that my eyes were watching every hesitant step (and silently cheering her on) with shop talk.

"Good progress on the leg, it seems, strength as well as overall mobility. Can you get me a preliminary report on the therapy schedule you have planned for her, so I can tell Gianna when to schedule her follow ups?"

"Sure," Emmett agreed affably. "She was in great shape before the accident, so I don't see it being that prolonged to be honest. Just until I'm sure the muscles are compensating around the rod."

"She's been through therapy before, I believe, that'll help as she'll know what to expect."

"It always does – the unknown's never fun. How about the wrist cast, she in that for the full four weeks?"

"Maybe only three, there were a few hairline fractures in there but nothing major."

"Might want to tack on a bit of wrist work as well, then?"

"Wouldn't be a bad idea."

"She's got an incredible ass, too, doesn't she?"

"God yes," I agreed, realizing a second too late that I'd not only been staring at it while she walked the track, but that Em was watching me stare at it. And he'd managed to sucker me into admitting it.

Fuck.

I punched his arm out of habit and immediately regretted it. Punching Em was like punching the wall behind us.

"Well, well," he chuckled. "Little brother's crushing on the movie star."

"Shut up, Em."

"What? I think it's cute, and it's about damned time—"

"Shut UP, Em," I growled this time as Bella walked closer to us. I could feel his eyes on me as I struggled to keep my own straight ahead, looking somewhere just over Bella's shoulder.

He did stop, but I was fairly sure it was because Bella was now standing right in front of us, a light sheen of sweat dotting her brow. My hands were, once again, shoved into my pockets to keep them from reaching up to wipe the moisture away, to tuck back the lock of hair that was caught on her cheek, to bury in her hair and pull her close and…

An elbow to the gut startled me out of my little mental vacation. I realized, to my horror, both Em and Bella were now staring at me. "What?"

"I asked you to get a wheelchair for Bella so we could get her back to her room. Christ, Bella, you may want to rethink your doctor choices. This one seems a bit prone to daydreaming. Not something I'd look for in a surgeon."

I snagged a chair from the holding area by the door and wheeled it back over. I shot Em a death glare when I returned to them. As ever, it bounced right off of him.

Then a light touch to my hand that negated every other emotion I'd been feeling just a second before. Bella had reached over and taken hold of my fingers, giving them a squeeze.

"I don't think I'll be taking that advice, Emmett. I'm quite happy with my doctor. But thanks anyway."

My hand was still burning when she turned her back to us and sat down in the chair. I let Emmett do the pushing this time, because having my hands anywhere near Bella right now was a disaster waiting to happen. Instead, they remained in the pockets of my lab coat as we walked.

Emmett made silent kissing motions at me as we walked, looking from me to Bella and back again in full pucker. Asshole. The only thing that kept me from tripping him while he walked was the fact that he might lose control of the chair and somehow hurt Bella. Instead, I went for subtle. I lowered my voice to a whisper as the elevator doors opened in front of us.

"Knock it off or I tell Mom about Rosalie."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me," I spat back.

"Is everything all right?" Bella asked, turning to look up at us.

"Fine," we said at the same time, our eyes still shooting daggers at each other. I won this round, so by the time the doors shut and the elevator rose to the fourth floor, Em was suitably quiet and his face was blank of all teasing.

Neither of us were prepared for the six feet plus of massive Native American standing in front of us when the elevator doors opened again.

"There you are, Loca! I was just about to come looking for you." The tall man seemed to fold in on himself in order to get low enough to kiss both of her cheeks and then her lips in greeting. Bella laughed, I tried not to scowl. He took the chair from Emmett's hands and wheeled her towards her room, leaving us staring after them.

"Who the hell was that?"

"Her manager and boyfriend." I managed to keep most of the venom from my voice.

"Boyfriend, really? That bites."

"Tell me about it," I groused back.

"So that's why you stopped…?" He puckered up gain.

"Yeah."

Emmett was quiet as we walked slowly behind Bella and Jake. Emmett turned to me and grinned. "Still, s'just a boyfriend, right? S'not like she's married or anything."

"Back off it, Em." Just before the door to Bella's room closed, we heard the bell chime of Alice's laughter filter into the hallway where we stood. I jumped on the diversion before Emmett could attempt any more dating advice.

"Besides, we've got a bigger problem to deal with."

"Bigger than little brother's movie star crush?"

I rolled my eyes. "I think so, yeah. Little sister met a guy," I said bluntly and grinned when his face went from playful to serious in a nanosecond. Teasing me about being all head-in-the-clouds was one thing, some guy sniffing around our little sister was another entirely.

Speak of the devil, Alice chose that moment to pop her head back out. "Hey, are you two going to lurk out here forever? Bella's looking for you."

I could tell Em was dying to interrogate Alice, but I gave him a swift nudge and muttered "later" under my breath.

"You know it," Em muttered.

He managed to rein it in, barely, as we both walked into Bella's hospital room. I elbowed him in the gut when his eyes darted over to our youngest sister one time too many. I saw him work to relax the tension from his shoulders.

I was almost sad when Em decided to straighten up and behave. Keeping him in line had been a welcome diversion. Now that he was seething in silence and no longer in danger of pinning Alice to the wall verbally and grilling her for information, there was nothing else to do but look at the very tall, very good looking man who sat at Bella's bedside. Very close to Bella's bedside.

Too close.

Holding her hand.

Damn it.

"Doc?" Jake's voice interrupted my internal cursing.

"Yes?"

"How's it looking? Bella's recovery, I mean. Are we still thinking the three month time frame?"

I nodded. "From watching her walk just now? I'd say yes. She's right on track for that. We'll get one more set of x-rays before we release her to make sure, but I don't see any sign that her recovery won't be anything but seamless."

"Fabulous! Now I can—" He broke off and looked at his pocket. He stood – fuck the dude was just…scary tall – and fished a mobile from his pocket. "Damn, forgot to turn this off."

It looked like he was about to do just that when he glanced at the display. His eyes widened then darted around the room, looking everywhere but at Bella. "I've got to take this. Excuse me."

He was out of the room a second later.

"Well, that was…odd," Bella said, frowning towards the doorway.

"I thought he went back to LA," I commented stupidly.

"He did, but he's going to be back and forth until I'm out of the hospital, I think. He worries." She was staring at the door. "I guess I do, too. I hope everything's all right."

"I'm sure it is," Alice responded. "You know how reactionary he is. One little thing and he's in full Kermit the Frog flail mode."

Bella nodded and smiled, turning back to me. "So you really think I'm doing okay?"

Even though I knew Em was staring at me, and felt Alice's eyes boring into me as well for some reason, I couldn't help but smile back and answer her. The fact that my voice dropped to something more like a whisper…well, it just couldn't be helped when Bella looked at me that way.

"Yes, I think you're doing remarkably well."

My eyes searched her face as silence filled the small room. She was feet away from me, but I could still feel her small body in my arms, still smell the light fragrance of her shampoo. I jammed my hands back into my pockets because they wanted nothing more than to reach out to her. Again.

I still don't know whether it was providence or fate, but my pager chose that moment to go off. I pulled it out and checked the display. I frowned. I had been on limited time with her anyway since Em's therapy session had gone over. Now I was being called downstairs and this little consult would eat the rest of that time away completely. No way I'd get back up here before my afternoon appointments started. My time with Bella was, unfortunately, over for the day.

"Edward?"

"I've got to go. It's the ER."

I wondered if it was clear how little I wanted to leave; I also wondered why I didn't care whether or not she picked up on it. The few seconds I'd held her had, for all intents, blown my little "she's my patient" mantra all to hell.

Bella looked like she was about to ask me something, but her mouth closed before any words came out. It was almost as though she wasn't any happier than I was that our time together was over. I chanced testing that assumption.

"Will you be online again tonight?" I asked when I reached the door to her room.

The bright smile that lit her eyes had me thinking that there wasn't any almost about it. She didn't want me to leave any more than I wanted to go. And tonight, I thought, I'd ask the question I hadn't been able to today …I'd ask her about what was going on with Jake.

"Until later then?" She asked.

"Later," I agreed with a matching smile, not really caring about my brother and sister watching us. I probably would later when the teasing resumed, but I didn't then. In that moment, I was more interested in memorizing Bella's smile to take with me for the rest of the day.

Half an hour later, my ER patient's ribs taped up, I was standing at the elevators near the front of the hospital when I saw it. A flash of fashionably long, black hair attached to a very tall man. All of which were ducking behind a shrubbery just outside the ER windows.

Jake? What the hell was he still doing down here? I'd been with the cracked rib for at least half an hour. Why was he still down here on the phone...and more to that, why was he skulking around behind trees to do it?

I told myself to keep moving forward…to get on the elevator and go back to work; that this wasn't my business. I didn't. Instead, I pulled out my phone and texted Gianna that I'd be late then went out of the ER doors towards the little wooded spot near the hospital that concealed Bella's manager and his cell phone.

I arrived just in time to hear him say "I love you, too. And I miss you so much."

I stopped dead. I felt like an idiot for eavesdropping and at the same time, found myself utterly unable to move away. Especially when I heard him laugh. It might have been forever since I'd been anywhere near anything intimate, but that sound was universal. It was the seductive laugh that lovers shared. "Yeah, I miss that, too."

A red haze covered my eyes. Two things were painfully clear in that moment. One, he wasn't talking to Bella, who he'd couldn't miss as she was three floors above him at this very moment. Two, he was talking to someone he was no doubt intimate with … which left me only one logical conclusion.

I rounded the pine and put myself into Jake's line of sight.

"Doc? What the—"

"You fucking, cheating bastard," I said succinctly before pounding my fist right into his surprised face.

* * *

_*When The X-Files debuted, it was on Friday nights._

_I can't claim credit for Bitchpants McCrabby. That pure genius comes from the Red vs Blue/Rooster Teeth crew and a lovely little Spartan named Tucker. I swear to God I am going to make that my legal name someday…_

_Final note - If you're looking for things to read while waiting for the next update, I keep a list of WiPs I'm following (my pounce-when-they-update fics) in my profile. Check 'em out...and don't forget to leave these awesome authors love. _


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: The only thing I own is the plot, the characters are all SMeyer's._

_A/N2: Quick one this time – because I'm sure no one wants to listen to me ramble. Just massive love to everyone who has reviewed, a public thanks for the love in addition to the review replies (though some have PMs disabled, so I couldn't thank you personally.) Also love and kisses to all those who have the story on alert or made it a favorite. Y'all rock me._

_Peace out...and enjoy the chapter!_

* * *

Chapter 8

"So you're telling me I need to be exercising it all the time, right? No rest for the weary?" I teased, grinning up at the biggest of the Cullen siblings. I'd tried, and failed, to find a fitting way to describe my physical therapist. The closest I'd been able to get was teddy bear on steroids. And that just sounded wrong.

Really, though, what other way was there to describe someone who took a warm, welcoming smile and a genuinely happy personality and put it all on the Terminator's body?

He poked my side in response. "No, Miss Movie Star, that's not what I'm saying. I was just pointing out that when you're idle, you can still be strengthening the muscle with simple little leg raises and point-to-flex motions. If you wanted to get stronger faster, that is. If you want to laze around getting weaker, then by all means, do the bare minimum."

I looked over at Alice who was engrossed in something on her laptop. "Is he always this bossy?"

"From the moment Edward came home from the hospital and Mom told him he was the big brother, yep. It was all downhill from there," she said, then stuck out her tongue at him.

"Your face is going to freeze that way, Midge."

She switched to flipping him off. I got the impression this was a familiar routine.

The phone at my bedside interrupted and I frowned at it for a second. Who would be calling me here? Alice's mom again? I let the siblings bicker and lifted it from its cradle.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Bells! You've got to do something, I think Jake's been mugged!"

I held the phone away from my ear and stared at it before replacing it and speaking. "Seth? What are you talking about? We're in Port Angeles, sweetie, not Los Angeles. I think the odds of him being mugged here are fairly—"

"I heard it, Bells! Someone called him a bastard, there was a sound – I swear to God it sounded like a punch – and then Jake's phone went dead. I've been trying to call him back since. It's going straight to voice mail."

"Bella? Is everything okay? Who was mugged?"

Alice had abandoned both her bickering and her laptop and was at my side now, her hand on my arm. I held my hand over the mouthpiece to the phone. "It's Seth, he thinks Jake's been mugged. Can you...?"

My question was rendered moot when the mugg-ee in question pushed his way into my room a second later, rubbing his jaw.

"Jake? What the hell?"

"Jake?" The voice on the other end of the phone was loud enough for all of us to hear and he crossed the room to take it from me.

"Hey, I'm here. Yeah, I'm fine. Seth. Breathe. Christ, it was just a hit to the jaw. Well, if it was broken I wouldn't be speaking, would I?" He laughed. There was a long pause. "Funny you mention it, but yes, I _have_ had a doctor look at it. Same doctor who caused it, as a matter of fact."

Silence fell in the room as the implications of that statement echoed off the walls.

Alice and Emmett looked at each other, their eyes having a conversation I didn't have the time or inclination to figure out. My mind was having its own internal dialogue and it was loud enough to drown out almost everything else.

_Edward. Was he talking about Edward? Edward had punched Jake. Punched him? Like in the face, movie style, with no cut for the stunt doubles to jump in?_

I closed my eyes. I had been through my share of choreographed fights. I'd seen the very same scenario played out in dozens of plays and movies – hell, I'd even _been_ in a few of them as both puncher and punchee.

I'd seen punches thrown, yes, and the reasons behind them were usually powerful emotions. Not many people went around punching because they were filled with glitter and rainbows. No, the emotions were always dark ones: anger, frustration, sorrow...and jealousy.

Jealousy.

My heart skipped a beat and I was again very happy the monitors were gone from my room.

Was it...could it...Was Edward actually _jealous_ of Jake?

Before my mind could even begin to run over that little scenario, the door to my room opened.

I looked up, heart in my throat for some reason, and felt an immediate fall when it turned out to be the surly nurse, Jessica. The woman rarely smiled, at least not at me, so I was used to her ever-present scowl. Today, however, the look she shot me should have peeled several layers of skin off my face.

I popped an eyebrow back at her, but she turned away with a disdainful sniff and focused her attention on Jake just as he hung up with Seth.

"Mr. Black? I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt. But I've got the cold pack, and Dr. Cullen sent in some ibuprofen tablets and water." She indicated the items on the tray she set down on my nightstand. "Can I get you anything else?"

"No," Jake smiled, wincing slightly as he did so, "this will be fine. Thanks, Jessica."

"It's the least I could do," she smiled. She shot another filthy look back at me before leaving the room. Lovely woman, she was. Truly.

The protracted comments I was about to make about the rudest nurse on the planet dried up in my throat at the first flash of auburn.

He was there.

In the five-second glance I got as Jessica left my room and gave me a glimpse at the corridor outside, I saw him. He was standing at the nurses' station. Granted it was just his back, but I knew it was him. He was talking to another doctor. His father, I realized, recognizing the senior doctor Cullen's dirty blond hair and similar build. I didn't see Edward's face, though. Just the top of his head, bowed as it was, while his father spoke to him.

Then the door shut and I my view was gone.

I turned back to Jake when I heard his plastic cup hit the bedside table.

Right. One thing at a time.

"Jake, what the hell happened?"

He snorted. "Fuck if I know, Bells. One minute I'm outside talking to Seth, the next, Captain America out there decided my jaw needed a realignment courtesy of his fist."

Because I knew Jake, I narrowed my eyes at him. "You didn't do anything to provoke him?"

"Provoke him? I didn't even know he was there until two seconds before I went reeling into a pine tree. Besides, I like the guy. Why would I have messed with him?" He gave his jaw a tentative touch. "Maybe I should put that one in the past tense. Christ, he's got muscle for such scrawny damned arms."

"Sorry, Jake," I said, reaching out to take his hand. Soothing. "It just seems like such a strange thing for him to have done, you know? He doesn't exactly look like the _Fight Club _type, you know?"

And he didn't. The capable type, yes. The physically fit type, yes. The intelligent type, very yes. The gorgeous, swoon-worthy, panty-dropping-smile type? Definitely, unequivocally yes. But not the bruiser-out-to-prove-himself with his fists sort. Not even close.

So why...?

"Bells, you listening?"

"Yeah. Got lost there for a second," I said and pulled my attention back to Jake. "Sorry."

"I think that's my line."

We both looked up. I pressed my lips together to keep the gasp of surprise to myself. And the smile. After all, the man at my doorframe had just punched one of my oldest and dearest friends. And did so with no apparent provocation. What did it say about me that I was ridiculously glad to see him in spite of that?

It said that the even the possibility of Edward being, for whatever reason, jealous enough of Jake to take it to a physical level was flattering, in a very caveman/cavegirl sort of way.

I'll take pathetic for $400, Alex.

There was a crackle of tension in the air when Jake stood to face Edward. I turned my attention to him as well. I swallowed a gasp. I was surprised to see him looking so disheveled. His hair. It was usually messy, true. The artful sort of messy that stylists took hours to create. Or, as Alice would have it, sex hair. This was different. The normally tousled locks were standing up in all directions, like he'd brushed it with a garden rake, then finished it off with a hand mixer. The smile I'd grown accustomed to having a permanent residence on his face was gone. I didn't care for the downtrodden frown it left behind.

"Jake. Mr. Black. I know there's no way I deserve to have this accepted, but I would like to extend my sincere apologies for my actions downstairs. I have no excuse for my actions. None. "

Jake surveyed Edward and made no move to take his outstretched hand. "Dunno if I want your hand that close to me, Rocky. Especially spouting what sounds like a hospital lawyer-talk and a man praying to hell I don't sue."

"Jake," I cautioned softly. He didn't turn to look at me; his eyes were fixed on Edward.

There was another silence as the two men sized each other up. I could have roasted marshmallows in the crackling electricity between the two.

"All right. How about this?" Edward responded, still standing with his hand out to Jake. "I fucked up huge, let emotion get in the way of sense and acted like a complete dick. That work a little better for you, or do I need to sweeten it with an offer of a jaw for a jaw?" He finished by offering his own face to Jake, jaw out, eyes closed and body braced.

There was a beat of quiet before Jake threw back his head and laughed. He clasped Edward's hand in his and pumped it a few times. "Now that's what I call an apology."

I saw a smile quirk one side of Edward's mouth. "I take it that means apology accepted?"

"I guess it does. No permanent harm done to my jaw and my jacket wasn't ripped by the trip into the pine tree..." He cut a pointed look at me and his lips spread in a grin. "Besides, if I didn't accept it, Herself in the bed over there would needle hell out of me until I did."

That might have been the only thing capable of stopping me from staring at Edward. I turned to Jake with my eyes narrowed.

"Herself?" I sputtered. My hands would have been on my hips if I'd been standing. "Oh you did NOT just make a diva reference directed at me, Jacob Black."

Jake just turned towards me and laughed. "Of course I didn't." He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Now if you'll both excuse me, I've got to go back to the hotel and Skype Seth. He's not going to settle down until he can see I'm fine." His deep brown eyes held mine as his voice dropped to a whisper. "I take it you're not going to sink into a deep depression if I leave?"

"I think I'll manage," I whispered back, then raised my voice to a more conversational tone. "Give him my love, okay?"

"Sure, sure."

He was gone with another kiss to my forehead, and a handshake for Edward who was still standing on the far side of the room near the door. The exchanged a brief few words, even a tense sort of laugh after which they both looked at me once then laughed again.

The door closed behind Jake with a soft click and left silence behind. My eyes raised and searched his face. No matter how hard I looked, though, the answers weren't written there. Just the same blank face that could mean anything from anger to confusion to…any number of things. I started to wonder if they taught this look in med school – a hundred ways to hide what you're really thinking or something to help in the delivery of bad news.

Then Edward broke the silence. "How much trouble am I in?"

Having had no access to a class on hiding emotions, I had to work to keep mine from showing. "I dunno, Edward. You hit my best friend in the face. That's pretty big. Especially as he'd done nothing to deserve it."

"Would it help my case if I thought he had?"

"What do you mean?"

"He looked, well, he looked all furtive downstairs. Outside and hiding behind a tree? Hell, he even started out that way, ducking out of here to take a call without even meeting your eyes when he left,? I was suspicious. Then, when I saw him still on the phone and appearing to hide it? My suspicions grew."

"What does Jake being on the phone have to do with anything? He's got that thing so plastered to his ear I'm half-positive it's going to take root one of these days."

"That wasn't what set me off, Bella."

I willed my heart to calm the hell down.

"Then what did?"

"It was what he said."

At some point during our conversation, Edward had closed the distance between us. He was no longer standing at the door now. He was right beside me.

"What did he say?" I congratulated myself for keeping my voice steady.

"He said 'I miss you' and then 'I love you'. I knew, or suspected, that it wasn't you he was talking to, because how could he miss you when you were right upstairs? The tone of his voice was very intimate. The kind of voice lovers use. And, well, the thought that he was cheating on you enraged me."

I swallowed. He'd acted…to protect me? To defend me? Without warning, I was back to finding Neanderthal attractive. Attractive and...arousing as hell, if my body's errant reactions were any indication. That puzzled me. I'd never been one for the he-man type before. In fact, it had been a major turn off for me if a guy started getting all chest-thumpy about me. Even in college.

Maybe the crack to my skull had done more damage than I'd originally thought? Maybe it was because it was Edward.

I looked up into his angel green eyes and knew there was no maybe about it.

With Herculean effort, I got my wandering mind under control again and focused on the conversation at hand. "But he always says stuff like that to Seth, especially when they're separated for longer than," I smiled, "well, a few hours."

"Seth," Edward said in a very strange tone of voice. It was almost…disbelief? With a little hope mixed in with it.

Had there been jealousy behind Edward's actions as well? Not just his chivalry in trying to defend my honor against a supposed infraction? My chest fluttered dangerously at the very idea.

"Just so I'm sure on this," he said as his hand plowed its way through already disheveled hair. I had the impression this was not only a habitual action, but an unconscious one as well. "Seth is…?"

Because some things were easier to show than say (and to stall while I tried to find the ability to speak without squeaking) I opened up my laptop and went into my photo file. I pulled up my favorite picture of Seth and Jake. They stood with their arms around each other, Seth had a knowing smile on his face and Jake's head was thrown back in the throes of laughter.

I turned the laptop towards Edward.

"Seth is Jake's partner. They've been together about three years now."

I was glad my voice sounded even and controlled despite the riot of emotions swirling through me. To anyone outside my own churning emotions, I probably appeared calm, collected, a woman in command.

Christ. I _could_ act, apparently.

"But the rumors," Edward persisted, his eyes not leaving the screen.

"Just that," I said. "Nothing more." Because it seemed important, I tacked on, "and never has been. Jake's completely gay, not bi or anything like that."

Finally, green eyes rose. Without a word, he reached across me, typed my name and Jacob's into the search bar and hit enter. Immediately, my screen was filled with images of Jake and I together – premieres, awards shows, scans of gossip magazines. Jake and I with our arms around each other, Jake kissing my hand, my cheek, dipping me low while we both laughed.

Silence reigned while we looked at the pictures.

"Why?"

So many answers to one three letter word. I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to figure out a way to describe this so it wouldn't sound _too_ weird. I couldn't, though. There wasn't one. To anyone outside the business, even the most mundane things we went through were nothing but a trip to the freak show. Really, when put up against making a career out of playing dress-up this wasn't so bad. At least, not to me. Would it be to him?

"I'm sorry," he said and broke through the explanation I was trying to form. Whatever my expression, he must have taken it as reluctance on my part to answer. "It's none of my business, I shouldn't have pried..."

"No, it's not that at all. Edward," I breathed. God, why did his name have to feel so good on my lips. And why couldn't I stop staring at his?

"Then what is it?"

I indicated the chair beside my bed. I relaxed just slightly when he acquiesced and dropped into it. Maybe now he'd be less likely to bolt out the door if or, rather, when it just got too weird for him. I didn't dare hope he'd touch me in any way, so when he took my hand as well, I felt a little more tension leech out of me. This was Edward, the guy I'd spent the last couple of nights chatting with. I'd felt during those conversations that I could tell him anything. Now was the chance to test that feeling.

He tangled our fingers together. It was good, comfortable, and when he gave my hand a squeeze, I finally relaxed completely and the story spilled out.

"The thing with Jake...it sort of snowballed. I mean, I'm pretty sure you don't follow a lot of gossip sites on the internet, read _Variety_, that sort of thing?"

Edward's mouth quirked into that little half-smile he did. "Not until recently," he said softly, and I felt my heart bump.

"Well, then you've seen enough to know that the grist that drives that particular mill is relationships. Especially love. Dating, breaking up, making up, cheating, sex in any form. If they can combine more than two into one 'story,' it's the vultures' version of winning the lottery. Who is, who isn't, why aren't they anymore? Break ups, make ups, screw ups, and, the mother lode, the kinky sex skeleton in the closet. I swear they pray to stumble on evidence of some sort of kink regarding anyone in the mainstream. The vulture in question could probably retire on what he or she made from it. Some are better than others, there actually are some out there that truly want to report the facts, or write a real interview. Unfortunately, they're harder to find than popsicles in Hell."

I had to take a breath, to shake my loathing for the pit vipers out of my mind.

"From the time we first met, Jake's always felt very protective of me, like the little sister he never had, but always hoped Santa would leave under the tree." I was quick to emphasize that bit, because I saw a frown starting to flirt with his forehead again. I gave his hand a squeeze.

I ignored the flutter in my belly when he squeezed back.

"And then aside from the delightful press, there are the other unsavory elements. Directors, producers, other actors. There are some real creeps in Hollywood, Edward; most of them wear very pretty faces. In fact, in some cases the prettier the face, the uglier the inside. Jake wanted to keep them as far away from me as he could. So when we went to my first premiere together and the press got the wrong idea about us..." I took another deep breath in, exhaled it out, "we just didn't correct them. We didn't say anything. No confirmations, no denials. Just me, smiling at the reporter and informing him or her that I don't talk about my personal life. We saw it as the perfect way to keep both of those unpalatable things away from me. The vultures wouldn't have reason to hound me, and the creeps would leave me alone because Jake looks scary as hell sometimes and no one wants to mess with that."

"But you've dated. There was that guy, Tyler?"

I suppressed my own smile when Edward pressed his lips together. Clearly, he hadn't wanted to say that out loud. I was glad he had. It made me strangely happy to think he'd been interested enough to look into my background.

"Yes, I went out with Tyler for a while. And a set designer named Eric, too."

Eric.

_No. Not now, Bella._

"That didn't interfere with the ruse?" Edward asked, thankfully diverting me from a quick visit to that painful little section of my past.

"Not really. It's not like the vultures don't make shit up all the time anyway," I said, wrinkling my nose, "they just churn out speculation. I think one of the gossip mavens has decided that Jacob's commitment phobic, so I keep going out with other guys to wake him up to what he might lose, force his hand, whatever. Hell, they should be thanking me for giving them fodder to help meet their deadlines."

I was being flippant about it, maybe overly so. This wasn't the time for me to climb onto my soap box about what it's like on this side of the press releases, especially when your heart's been shattered into a pieces and while you're off licking your wounds, some chick with an attitude is using it to line her pockets and up her hit count.

"What about Seth; he doesn't mind it? I mean, if Jake's taking you to these parties and premieres, doesn't he get upset having to stay home all the time?"

"Not really; Seth hates those things. Outside of a courtroom, his idea is dressed up is wearing shoes. True California boy, in attitude if not in looks." I couldn't stop the smile; I loved the guy almost as much as I loved Jake. "Besides, Seth couldn't come with even if it weren't for the act. He works for a very successful law firm, and he's an excellent lawyer in his own right, but his boss is a complete homophobe. We all know that while they can't fire him for it, there are a dozen ways around the rules – and who better to find loopholes than a pack of lawyers? He's not ready to challenge that just yet. Jake keeps hoping he will be someday."

Edward nodded once, then went silent on me again. The quiet filled the room until it was almost a physical presence. I watched his face for some clue about what was going on inside his mind. There was nothing. He was a blank screen again. Whatever his thought processes, they left no trace across his beautiful face. The only movement was his eyes. They went from me to the laptop to our joined hands every few seconds. I wished I could know what he was thinking.

As the dead calm lingered, I started to get uncomfortable. I picked at a small hole in my blanket, I counted my own breaths, I did some of Emmett's fine muscle exercises, pointing and flexing my toes. I wanted to give him time to think, to process; and try to be thankful that whatever he was thinking, he was still here in the room with me.

"So."

The sound of his velvet voice breaking through the palpable silence made me jump a little in surprise.

My heart sank when Edward got up out of the chair and slid his hand from mine. At the loss of contact, my mind spun out.

Was this it then? The weird overrode even the chance of anything else? Earlier, during my therapy, when he'd surprised me…I could have sworn he was about to kiss me. In that small space of time where he held me so close I could taste peppermint on his breath, I was positive. Then Emmett had spoken and the moment was gone. By the time we were back to my room, I was positive it'd been a figment of my imagination because when he and Emmett had joined us, Edward had been just as stoic as ever.

Was all that gone now? Because of a stupid, impulsive decision made four years ago?

I didn't want to believe it. "So...what?" I asked, not even hiding the tremor of foreboding in my voice.

"So Jake is nothing more than agent and friend."

"Yes," I answered softly, knowing how crazy something like that would seem to normal people and how far away I was from anything even remotely resembling normal. And wishing for the first time in a long time that I was just that.

"I see." There was a note of finality in his voice that I didn't like. At all.

My eyes closed when he continued to stand in front of the chair, hands in his pockets. I was a strong woman, I couldn't have made it as far as I had without some measure of fortitude. I also knew that I wasn't strong enough to watch him turn around and walk out of my room.

He didn't, though.

He walked closer to me instead. I could tell by the squeak of his Crocs on the floor that he was right next to me. My breath caught in my throat.

"This seems to be my day for unprecedented and impulsive acts. Hope you don't mind another one. I don't _think_ this one will be as unpleasant as my last."

I managed to wrench my eyes open. "What do you mea-?"

All my mind had time to process was that his eyes were closer to jade green than emerald before his lips were on mine and the world stopped.

There weren't any fireworks, no static charge that shorted out the power or had my hair standing on end. Those were the things of fantasy. The reality of kissing Edward was much, much different.

And a thousand times better.

His lips were soft, almost glass smooth as they moved slowly, tentatively, over mine. Instead of thermonuclear explosions, there was just warmth. A slow, spreading warmth that started at my lips and swelled to cover my whole body. I felt liquefied in the aftermath, my bones turned to overcooked pasta, my mind to mush.

Then I felt his tongue slide along the closed seam of my lips. My answering gasp of pleasure parted them. When his tongue slipped inside my mouth, the warmth changed to scalding heat in a flash. I whimpered. Or I think I did. Maybe it was him? It didn't matter. I tilted my head and opened my mouth to him. He tasted of peppermint still. And a hint of coffee. And something else I had no name for, something just…him.

There was no whimper this time, just a small moan of pleading for more.

"Edward, I…whoa…nevermind."

Unfortunately, there was no neverminding about it. The interruption had startled our lips apart.

"Emmett. God damn it," Edward growled.

A giggle bubbled up. Maybe it was my kiss-scrambled brain, or maybe it was just because it was who we were. Regardless, I couldn't stop the tease, "I bet you say that to all the girls."

I pulled back just enough for our eyes to meet and did nothing to remove the hand that had somehow become lodged in his hair.

I don't know if it was my comment, my own smile, or a combination of the two; whichever, it was, it worked. Slowly, his grumble melted away as one corner of his mouth rose higher than the other. Then he leaned in again. In the fledgling catalogue of Edward kisses, I noted that smiling kisses were just as lovely as ones that came out of nowhere.

Hell with that, they were incredible.

Any hesitancy on his part in that first touch of lips was gone. This time, his mouth was firm and sure on mine, giving and taking in equal measure. When I felt his tongue slip between my half-open lips, it wasn't with the dominance of possession. The tangle of our tongues was more dance than power play. A dance that seemed to go on for hours.

"Bella, are you…? Ah, whoops. I'm gone."

We pulled away again just as the door closed. "Alice," we said in unison .

He took in a breath and rested his forehead against mine. "Obviously, I'm going to have to find a way to block the door if I'm going to get any sort of uninterrupted kissing time with you."

My heart stuttered. "You. Ah. Thinking you'll be doing more of that then?"

His hand cupped my face, allowing his thumb to brush along my cheek then touch the corner of my mouth. "I certainly hope so. Would it be a problem for you if I did?"

My hand, still lodged in the untamed silk of his hair, pulled him down until his lips were back on mine again. If that didn't answer his question, I was pretty sure all the moaning made it clear enough. The kisses were getting shorter, owing in large part to the fact we were both breathing heavily now. I didn't mind the smaller kisses in the slightest, though. Every time we broke for air, Edward's lips stayed on my skin in some fashion, moving softly over my face. I shivered from the caress of his warm breath and soft lips over my forehead and nose, jaw and ear. Each touch was thorough and lingering, like he was trying to memorize every angle and slope.

I wondered idly if this was what the first steps toward addiction felt like. I also realized, that just like an addict, I didn't give a damn. I just wanted more.

We both groaned when a third interruption broke us apart. Well, I groaned. Edward's sounded more like a growl when we heard the knock on the door.

"Bella? Honey, can I come in?"

Even muffled, I could hear the tension in Alice's voice. Something was wrong. Thankfully, Edward knew his sister well enough to hear it, too.

To my delight, he did nothing to distance himself from me. He just straightened up, staying seated at the edge of my bed. And, to my everlasting (and very teenage) delight, kept my hand firmly in his.

"It's all right, Alice. Come on in."

It wasn't Alice, though. Or not _just_ Alice. Jake was right behind her. Jake? What was he doing back here so soon? And was that Emmett just outside the door?

"What's going on?" I addressed the room, looking from face to face. These were not shiny, happy people. The tension coming off them was nearly as visible as a heat haze off the asphalt on a summer's day.

Then I heard it. The unmistakable click, the rustle of clothes, and the plaintive cry of "Bella!" from just beyond the door to my room.

"Oh, God."

Edward's hand squeezed mine and I looked up into his confused face.

"What am I missing?"

Alice answered for me. "The vultures, Edward. They found her and now they're circling."


	9. Chapter 9

_Do I really need another disclaimer? Can we go forward on the assumption I'm not making my son's tuition money off this stuff? (The plot does belong to me, and me alone.)_

_Dedicated to Kittyinaz for sharing in the love that is Red vs Blue and for being possibly the only person to understand the following: Bluetard, Bow chicka honk honk, and Blarg._

_Also – my sincerest apologies for the delay. I had some major self-esteem issues, a healthy dose of writers block and a difficult chapter to write for my Vamp fic. I'm nearly done with that one, though, so soon I'll be able to focus on Crash full time._

_Love, thanks and squishes to everyone for the alerts, favorites, and reviews (even tho I thank you guys personally, you deserve public love for making my day brighter with your comments/insights.). Y'all are so awesome, it can't be measured with existing technology. There's a twilighted thread for Crash now - if you have any questions for me or want to talk about the story. it's here: .?f=44&t=14659_

_Also #2 – I always tweak chapters after I get them back from beta – so any boo boos are mine, not misses on my beta's part!_

_Recap: When we last saw our dynamic duo, Edward had punched Jacob after overhearing a phone conversation he thought indicated Jake was cheating on Bella. In the aftermath of the punch, Bella revealed to Edward that her relationship with Jake was professional only. (Jake is in a longtime partnership with Seth, an LA trial lawyer.) Bella and Jake shared their first kiss(es), interrupted by both Emmett and Alice, until finally broken apart by the news that the press had found Bella._

* * *

Chapter 9

_Then I heard it. The unmistakable click, the rustle of clothes, and the plaintive cry of "Bella!" from just beyond the door to my room._

_"Oh, God."_

_Edward's hand squeezed mine and I looked up into his confused face. _

_"What am I missing?"_

_Alice answered for me. "The vultures, Edward. They found her and now they're circling."_

Vultures?

Unbidden, I turned and looked out the window and towards the sky. It only took a second for me to start mentally berating myself as an idiot. She wasn't talking about the big birds that circled for carrion. They called the press vultures. Apparently, the comparison was fairly accurate. Though why only one dude with a camera was causing all this stress, I didn't know.

"What are we going to do?"

I looked from one stressed face to another, confused. "Obviously I'm missing something here. I mean, all right, there's an idiot with a camera outside. Call security, have him removed, and no harm done. Right?"

From the pitying glances sent my way, I knew I'd just unzipped my fly, metaphorically speaking, and shown my ignorance to everyone.

Alice was the only one to act.

She took my hand and led me towards the window. From here, Bella's room had a not-so-spectacular view of the ass end of the Port's industrial side...and a birds' eye view of the thirty or so men and women milling around the entrance to the hospital.

Every last one of them was draped in cameras.

"Christ. Where'd they all come from?"

Jake shrugged. "Someone talked."

Alice hissed. "Then someone's going to fry. I've got a folder full of NDAs, Jake. Anyone who'd even come close to this floor has signed one."

"You couldn't have possibly gotten every one, Alice. Bella went for therapy, right? I'm betting the room wasn't cleared out." He paused, took in the downturned faces, "I didn't think so. It doesn't matter anyway. These things are fucking impossible to prove. So someone signed. They call a friend, who calls a friend, who twitters the rumor. All it takes is one smart vulture to follow up on a whisper and boom," he gestured towards the window, "there it is."

I gave my head a shake. They were still speaking English, I knew that. I just couldn't follow a word of it.

"Only thing for it right now is to get her out of here. Hey, Slugger?"

It took me a second to realize Jake was talking to me.

I shot him a raised eyebrow in answer. He smirked back, even added in a wink. God, I really did like the guy.

"Any chance we can get her released early?"

My stomach filled with lead. Leave? The hospital?

"Hello?"

I forced the dread back into the shadows to be dealt with later – along with the myriad other things now pressing in on me before the arrival of the press. Like my hitting another man, and, most importantly, the way I'd tossed every ethical and moral code I had, not to mention a rather ancient and important oath, straight out the window.

Banner day for me, really. Only thing I'd left out was kicking a few cute, defenseless animals.

Focus, Edward, you complete dick. Bella first, mental derision later.

"What good would that do?" I wondered if anyone else would realize why I was reluctant to have Bella leave the one place I could see her easily.

Bella's hand squeezed mine and I thought maybe she might.

"I think what Jake's saying is that the hospital's too open, too easy for the vultures to sneak in."

Jake turned to Alice. "You checked out this lodge she's staying at, right? Dare I hope that place is some sort of five star facility with a front desk and key-coded access to the elevators?"

Alice and Emmett both laughed. "Right. Try a bunch of cabins in the forest run by Sue and her husband Harry, who handles security by driving around on an ATV a few times a day."

"Fuck. Well. That's right out."

"How about your house, Dard?" Alice asked from over by the window, a knowing smile on her face. Like she was giving me my Christmas present early. "That place is huge and in the middle of nowhere. Might not be Ft. Knox, but it's wooded enough to make telephoto lenses useless and they know better than to set foot on private property. They want their pictures, but they're not going to want risk jail for it. It's perfect."

My body certainly thought so. My mind, too. Immediately I started to see flash images of Bella in my house, in the guest bedroom my mother had so painstakingly decorated. Bella curled up on the soft leather sofa next to me while a fire burned to our right, casting her in the warm, red glow.

My libido tried to picture Bella in my bed. I shut that one down before it could form.

"Edward?"

We all turned to the door, and the room's newest occupant. My father had slipped unnoticed into the room at some point, bringing his sparkling personality with him. I was, quite clearly, still top of his shit list.

"Hi, Daddy" Alice's crossed the room to greet him with a hug. "We were just trying to figure out..."

"Could you all please give us a moment?" Dad interrupted.

His eyes lingered on Alice, then Emmett, then Jake. My brother and sister knew better than to linger. They cleared out as soon as the request was made. He was a great father, a fabulous dad. But when he put on the Carlisle Cullen, Chief of Staff hat, we all snapped to attention.

I almost laughed at the sheepish, kid-caught-with-candy expression on Jake's face, though. I expected it from my siblings – we'd all cowered many a time under the weight of that persona. I hadn't expected the hard-nosed Hollywood agent to feel the same effects. Clearly, though, he had felt the same thing we always had when faced with that level of authority. In fact, the only thing missing from Jake's exit was a "yes, sir." I couldn't be sure, but I thought he might have mumbled something along those lines before he left.

I didn't laugh, however. This situation was far from humorous.

When we were alone, Dad moved over and stood at the foot of Bella's bed. His eyes lingered on our joined hands for a second only before raising to mine. "You've made your decision, I see."

I nodded. I had. I wondered if I ever really had a choice to begin with. When I felt Bella's hand shift it mine, I was pretty sure the answer was no. I hadn't.

"All right. I'll see to the reassignment myself. Now then, as to the situation out front..."

"Excuse me," Bella interrupted.

Dad stopped and turned towards her. "Yes, Bella?"

"What do you mean by 'reassignment'?"

My father's face remained genial, I knew, because he was talking to Bella. When we'd had the same discussion in the elevator and again in the corridor just outside her room had been the opposite of genial. Extreme opposite. Night and day shit.

"Edward, would you care to explain?"

Translation – Edward, you got your ass into this fuckery, you get to explain to her just what you've done and what needs to be done to get you back out of it without the involvement of a debarment board.

I took a seat on her bedside again, my back to my father. It was the closest thing to privacy I was going to get.

"Bella, in the past hour alone, I've broken about five ethical standards, at least one law, as well as violating hell out of one major oath. In the past few days, I've bent some rules so badly they now look like pretzels."

Her brows knit, forming a little crease between them. And damn if I didn't want to lean forward and press my lips there until it went away.

"Okay, I didn't understand half of that. You want to try again, without the riddles this time?"

I moved a little closer, careful not to jar her leg, so that our eyes were more on a level. Because I couldn't help myself, I took the hand I still held and raised it to my lips. I pressed a kiss just above her knuckles. If anything told me I was doing the right thing, it was the soft sigh I heard escape Bella's lips. I thought I'd endure just about anything to hear that sound again, to cause her to make it.

"Bella, I'm your doctor. Morally, ethically, and in every sense of honorably, I should not be sitting here holding your hand, I certainly shouldn't have been talking with you online, and most definitely should have never, ever kissed you."

My father cleared his throat.

"And I shouldn't have assaulted another man, either. But that has nothing to do with doctor/patient ethics and has everything to do with my being a boorish thug."

Bella's eyes widened and her mouth opened, to protest that statement, I guessed. I found her eyes, though, and winked, then let my eyes cut over to my father. I wanted her to know those were Dad's words, not mine.

"I think I'm having a case of the slows today, because I don't get the problem. It's not like I'm incapacitated, you know? Like I'm on medications that cloud my judgment and you're trying to take advantage of me or some melodrama like that."

"Doesn't matter. As long as I was your doctor, it was a violation of the highest order."

Bella's eyes widened. She caught the change in tense. "Was?"

"Yes, was. Or it will be 'was' as soon as you choose which orthopedist you want continuing your care."

Her hand tightened on mine and her head shook. "No. No chance. I don't want another doctor, Edward. I want you." Her eyes flashed and I felt every bit of that righteous indignation. I also got the feeling that Jake's diva comment before he left to talk to his Seth wasn't far off the mark. She had that sort of "do you know who I am" fire in her eyes.

Damn if it wasn't arousing as hell.

I lifted my hand and placed it on her cheek. Before I could stop it, my thumb brushed over her lower lip.

"Is that really what you want?"

"It is," she insisted, and her smile was all victorious.

I lowered my voice. "Then do you mind if I kiss you one last time?"

"Last?"

"Last, Bella. You can't have it both ways. I let the line blur because I was positive that since nothing could come of it there was no real harm. I could talk to you on Facebook, take you out to see the gardens, because that's all it'd ever be. I never thought..." I traced her lower lip again.

"The second I kissed you, that all changed. The line wasn't so much blurred as obliterated. Don't get me wrong here. Kissing you was probably the highlight of my day. My year. Hell, I don't think I've done anything this decade that tops it, but when I took that oath, Bella, I meant it. Not to mention the reaction of the medical community itself. I'd be risking debarment if I continued to see you romantically while still actively involved in your medical care."

In the silence that followed, I became dimly aware that we were alone again. My father had slipped out of the room at some point. Still, I didn't move. I just watched Bella work through all I'd said. The more time passed, the more my guts twisted.

"Who would be my doctor then?"

"There are two other orthopedists on staff, both very capable doctors. Dr. Mallory would be my suggestion. She's the one who did Emmett's rotator cuff surgery two years ago, since the same ethical standards keep me from operating on family members. Or I could refer you to others in Seattle or even Portland if you wanted. The ultimate choice would be yours."

Another silence filled the room.

Because I couldn't take the wait, or watch the bad news hit her eyes first before she delivered the death blow to me, I kept my eyes focused on our still-joined hands.

Would I be able to do it, I wondered? If she chose to keep me as her doctor and nothing else, would I be able to forget the softness of her lips against mine? The sweet taste of her kisses, those soft little moans she made. Hell, could I really manage to stay remote and impartial when I could still feel her fingers lodged in my hair, tightening and tugging me closer?

I thought I could, even though it would be a slice of hell.

"Edward?"

I kept my eyes where they were, memorizing the curve of her fingernails, for a second before I looked up. Her dour expression turned the molten lead in my stomach to a solid mass.

"Yes, Bella?" It was a feat that I was able to speak at all.

"You're fired."

Before those words could register, her hand tightened on mine and she pulled me towards her, covering my slack-jawed surprise with her lips.

No matter what I'd said just moments ago, I knew now I'd been lying to myself. There was no way in hell I could have lived without this.

I freed both of my hands to lift and bury in her long, thick hair. I wanted to anchor her lips to mine, keep them there until I'd drank my fill. As if that was even possible. She moved beneath me and the little moans started again. Each one set off small explosions all over my body.

My position awkward, I shifted just a bit. The pull, the need to be closer was like a living, breathing entity in my chest. One that wouldn't let go until I'd given it what it wanted. The answering purr from Bella told me I wasn't the only one wanting this, wanting more, and I was perfectly happy to give her just what she wanted.

Our first kisses had been filled with an almost giddy pleasure, the elation of first touches and first tastes. This free and open caress was so much different. So much better. Unbidden (and frankly unwelcome given where we were) my libido rose and started to demand its own version of more. The more that included hands, tongues, maybe even teeth.

Much as I wanted it – and God, did I ever – this wasn't the time and certainly wasn't the place.

I broke the kiss before that need could get a tighter hold on me, shifting from the deep kiss. I replaced tangling tongues with feather-soft kisses to her cheek, jaw, light nibbles on her earlobe. It was enough to keep her making the soft sighs I loved, but gentle enough that the blood stopped rushing to my groin.

The inevitable knock broke us apart not long after. No anger from me this time. The interruption was just the diversion I need to stop kissing Bella…and get my body back under control. For now, the loose fit of the scrubs I wore were in my favor; if I had to stand…well, I'd just pray that I didn't have to do that for a few minutes.

The tent look wasn't in this season.

"Come in," Bella called and we both laughed when her voice came out a hoarse croak rather than her usual melody. I winked, she blushed, and I wondered if the human body really could take flight just from emotion alone.

I watched as the party filed back into the room, Alice, Emmett, my father, and Jake. Their faces weren't exactly shiny, happy people – but they didn't look like they were leading us to the gallows either. Jake, now sporting the shadow of a bruise on his jaw that would send me into stomach-twisting guilt every time I saw it, looked from me to Bella and back again. Then he shook his head and smiled.

"Looks like I'm getting dumped again," he said on a laugh.

"Damned right you are," Bella answered, her hand still in mine.

He dropped into the chair nearest Bella and heaved a mighty sigh. "Somehow I'll find the courage to hold on, to endure this endless chasm of grief that looms on my horizon."

A beat of silence passed then Bella snorted. "And now you all know why I'm the actor and not Mr. Melodrama over there."

Soft laughter echoed around the room but it didn't last. There was still a rather large situation to be handled.

"I hate to be the killjoy here, but have we figured out what's doing with Bella? I mean, security's managed to get the rabble out of the corridor and they're keeping them from reentering, checking badges and that, but that's going to get old fast."

"Especially considering they don't see a lot of actual work except the drunks in the ER on Saturday nights," Emmett supplied.

"I thought…" I stopped when I realized that in all the fun and kissing earlier, I'd never actually asked her. I turned to her, fighting the catch in my breath when her eyes found mine. My thoughts turned to clichés about drowning almost at once. I was turning into a sap…and couldn't muster up the wherewithal to care.

"I mean, Alice is right about my house. You're more than welcome to stay with me. The house is huge, well-hidden as far as the main road goes. It's as quiet out there as you'd get at the Lodge. You'd have your choice of bedroom, private bathroom. And Alice is there as well."

I stopped myself before I could ramble even worse...if that was even possible.

"Are you sure?"

I smiled touching her cheek. "Absolutely sure. I promise to be a perfect gentleman as well."

"Christ, Edward, I thought you were trying to convince her to stay with you, not stay away."

I shot a finger at my brother's grinning face then I turned back to Bella.

"What do you say, will you come use my house as a hideout?"

"Absolutely not."

All eyes in the room turned towards the door. Esme Cullen stood there, bold as brass and hands on hips, the force of her glare boring holes into my forehead.

"Ah. Hi, Mom…," I began.

"Oh no you don't, Edward Anthony. Don't even start with the 'hi, mom' talk. You've done quite enough today, thank you." The "we're going to talk later, young man" sentiment was unspoken, but very, very clear.

I was dimly aware of my siblings and Jake slinking out of the room again. Even my dad left this time. Cowards.

"Mom." My second attempt at greeting her netted me a laser beam stare. I promptly snapped my mouth shut before she managed to burn my face completely off.

"Your father called and explained the situation to me." The way she said "situation" made it very clear that it was less acceptable than holding a rugby match in her living room. "So I've prepared the downstairs guest suite at the house and we'll have her settled in no time."

"Oh, no. I couldn't impose—" Bella tried to protest.

Mom, of course, ran right over that attempt like a Panzer in pumps.

"Nonsense, Bella. It's not an imposition at all. You certainly wouldn't get any rest here if you're worrying that some fool with a camera's going to come bounding in, and as Forks doesn't lend itself to accommodations other than the rustic variety, you'll get even less protection. Of course you'll stay with us."

"Mom," I tried again.

"There's been enough impropriety already, Edward. I understand you're having her case reassigned to another physician now, and that's the proper thing to be done. But to have her leave her to stay with you? We're trying to stop tongues wagging, not give them even more fodder."

I sighed, defeated. Much as I didn't want to admit it, she had a point. Based on the light in her eye, she knew it, too. When she left the room a few moments later, there was an air of smug so thick behind her, it was almost visible.

I returned my attention to Bella and leaned low to rest my forehead against hers. "Should I apologize?"

Bella's didn't speak, there was just a slight trembling. I took that as a yes.

"I'm so sorry."

It wasn't until I heard her snort that I leaned back enough to look into her face. Bella was shaking, all right. From suppressed laughter. One look at the puzzlement on my face and she lost the battle. Her giggles filled the room until I had no choice but to smile right along with her.

"Oh my God." Her head shook as her laughter subsided. "She's Alice, isn't she? Just taller, and with pearls and a sweater set."

"Don't know if it's ever been put quite that way, but yes." I laughed with her, trying to remember that one to tell Emmett later.

"Which means I have no choice but to accept."

This time, my head shook. "You have every choice, Bella. I won't let you get steamrolled into this because my parents still have a sixties-era idea about the world. They can—"

Her lips interrupted me. In retrospect, it wasn't an altogether unpleasant way to be sidetracked in an argument. Small, slight fingers sifted through my hair and anchored at the base of my neck while her lips and tongue used my mouth as a playground. Her little moans started again, each one pulling me deeper.

"What was I saying?" I breathed the question against her ear.

She chuckled. "You were saying you understood why I was going to go stay with your parents. And that you'd visit me often while I'm there."

"No, I wasn't, though that last part's a given." I took her lips in another kiss, to emphasize the point. "I was trying to tell you that you didn't have to let Mom boss you around."

"Kinda hoped you'd forgotten that part. Fine, then. I'll go back to telling you that I'm not about to let this tarnish your career any more than it already has."

"Bella…"

"No, Edward. If there's one thing I understand it's the perception versus reality business. Didn't we just go through this with me and Jake? It didn't matter that we were friends, or that he was my agent, and gay on top of it. All anyone cared about was the speculation that he was my lover, because that's the picture the all the stories and photos painted.

"I won't be responsible for painting that sort of tarnish on your career. Even one person thinking it, one whisper in the wrong ear and before you even know what's happening, the damage is done."

I hated that she had a point and I was pretty sure that was written all over my face. I wanted to say that this was the Olympic Peninsula, not Hollywood, and things like that just didn't happen here. Then I thought about the petty scandals I'd heard whispered about my entire life – in waiting rooms, grocery stores, even getting my oil changed. I thought about Bella, too, about the way the press hounded her and what she'd said about their love of scandals.

Even a breath of a supposed indiscretion could do her irreparable harm. And I wasn't about to let that happen.

I was finding that where Bella was concerned, I would face just about anything. Even the self-satisfied smile my mother always wore when she got her way.

~*~*~*~*~ Alice

I paced as I stood my post by the loading zone for the hospital cafeteria.

As I paced, I fumed.

He owed me; she owed me.

Every vow I'd made to myself after dinner the other night that I wouldn't see Jasper again while I was here, that I'd distance myself and get over this...whatever this was. It was all gone in the midst of the crisis. Because we needed a way to get Bella out of the hospital unseen, and Jasper, I knew, had an old panel van with no windows. A van that wouldn't look anything but ordinary driving away from a hospital while keeping its occupants safely anonymous.

For Bella, I'd called him to ask if he'd mind playing getaway driver.

She SO owed me for this.

"What's got your panties in a twist, Midge?"

_Fucking perfect. Now this was just what I needed to make it complete._

"Do me a favor and go somewhere else, Em, all right?" I held out absolutely no hope that he'd listen to me. I wasn't disappointed.

"And miss the chance to watch you do the cheetah in the cage routine? Hardly."

"Piss off."

"Such language. Mom would never approve. Now tell me, since we're here with nothing much to do but wait for Bella's escape pod, who exactly it was that you called?"

"Just someone I know," I muttered. Like I was going to give in that easily.

"From school?"

"No."

"Not from work either."

"No."

"Which means it can only be one person. The mystery dude Edward alluded to earlier."

"He told you? That fucking traitor." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them and my brother flashed some Esme smug.

Great.

"All right then." Emmett's grin widened and he patted his knee. "Come tell big brother all about it." The big bastard was practically rubbing his hands together, glee coming off of him in waves.

"The hell I will."

"Is there a problem, darlin'?"

Good Christ.

I turned around to face the blond and fought to keep my knees locked. To keep my body upright. God help me the man's voice did dangerous things to my nervous system, especially when it came out of nowhere like that. Things I really, _really _didn't want happening with my brother three feet away.

My brother.

I turned to look at him and felt the mad impulse to jump him and scrape the shit-eating grin off his face with my fingernails. Unfortunately, I was still rooted to the spot. All I could do was watch in horror as Emmett approached Jasper, hand outstretched.

"No problem at all, sweetheart," my smart-assed brother responded with an easy smile. "We were just discussing little sisters who should know better than to try and keep secrets from their benevolent and kindhearted older brothers.

"I'm Emmett," he finished with his hand out, "since Midge here seems to have lost all the manners our dear mother instilled in us."

I growled. "Jasper Whitlock, Emmett Cullen, my eldest brother."

"Pleasure's mine, Emmett," Jasper said with an honest, if slightly confused, smile. "Allie's told me so much about her brothers, it's nice to put a face to the name."

"_Allie_ is it? Well, isn't that all kinds of interesting."

It was, and we both knew it. I had never, ever sought to shorten my name into any sort of nickname. Not only that, but I tended to get violent if anyone tried. Jake, Seth and my brothers were the only exceptions. And that was after years and love in my siblings cases and pure adorableness in Seth's. Jake's calling me Shortie? I endured because I loved Bella.

Jasper'd called me Allie once, at the sushi place, and my insides had gone more liquid than the soy sauce on my plate.

God. What a freaking nightmare. Made worse now by the palpable air of superiority surrounding Em.

"Is it? How so?" Jasper asked. I could see his confusion growing as he looked between us.

I wondered if he had some empathic something or other and could feel my tension. Then, to my utter horror, I realized that my hand had somehow gotten tangled up with his...and I was gripping his fingers hard.

"it's not really interesting. My brother's being an ass, so please feel free to ignore him," I answered Jasper.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine, really. It's just been a very stressful day."

"That's why I'm here."

Damn if he didn't give my hand a squeeze. This guy was dangerous. So, so deliciously dangerous.

Emmett cleared his throat and I felt the urge to clear it for him. With my bare hands.

"Em, weren't you going to go tell Edward that Jasper's here? They _are_ waiting for us, you know."

I waited until Jasper turned his attention to Emmett before adding the threat. I mouthed the word "Rosalie" to him.

His mouth moved for a few seconds before he turned away with a huffed out, "fine."

The victory gave me only a fleeting thrill. Em still had the upper hand, and I knew it.

Jasper turned back to me when Emmett was finally gone, taking both of my hands in his this time.

"Why do I get the feeling I was missing something important there, Allie?"

It was, I was discovering, very hard to talk when your insides had suddenly gone swimmy. Stalwartly, I battled through and found my voice.

"Just Emmett being a big brother, really. Nothing more. They've both needled hell out of me my whole life. Horribly cruel, the pair of them."

He laughed. "And you're a little angel right back to them, aren't you? Never needled in return, right?"

I grinned innocently at the clear tease in his voice. "Of course not. I've been a complete angel to them my whole life long. Innocent as a lamb."

"Thought as much," he said. Then his face lowered and he kissed me.

Good God. If I thought he was nerve scrambling with his voice, it was nothing compared to what happened when he kissed me. The first time, when he'd walked me to my car after dinner, I'd had to sit behind the wheel for ten full minutes before I could be sure I wouldn't be driving home impaired.

I'd prayed that that first kiss was a fluke. I know knew it wasn't. Especially when someone started whimpering. Someone I was terrified was me.

"I hope you don't mind, but I've been thinking of nothing else since we said goodbye the other night."

Neither had I.

"Neither have I."

Shit. Did I just say that out loud?

I looked into Jasper's face. His smile was generating more light than a red carpet searchlight. Yeah, I'd said it out loud, all right.

"That means you're going to give me a chance, despite your protests the other night? About the machinations of our mothers?"

I'd told him, in no uncertain terms, that our seeing each other wouldn't go any further than dinner because I wasn't about to give my mother the satisfaction.

He'd seemed to accept my explanation. Then he'd spent the next ten minutes kissing me stupid before walking away.

And now, within minutes of reuniting me, he'd rendered me stupid all over again.

"I'm starting to think that even if I said no, you'd find a way to change my mind."

One side of his mouth quirked up. "I most definitely would. In fact," he leaned closer, "if you want to try more denial, I had a whole plan set up to convince you to give me that chance."

"Did...did you?"

"Mmmhmm." His lips were peppering my face with butterfly kisses. "A detailed courtship outline, involving attacks on multiple flower, romantic text message, and possible serenade fronts."

Serenades? Good God Damn. "Y-you can still. Do that...if you want."

His chuckle reverberated on the skin of my throat. "Don't you worry, Allie. I plan to."

I was a dead woman.


	10. Chapter 10

_No long-winded A/N. Disclaimer still applies. Thanks to everyone for the reviews/alerts. Y'all are awesome. My other WiP is now complete, my attention won't be divided any longer. Hopefully not so long between chapters now...also provided that stops being utter fail._

_Peace._

* * *

"Come on, Bella. Just a few more minutes and you'll be done for the day."

Before I could stop myself, I looked down at the treadmill's taped over display and growled. Utterly useless. He'd given me some stupid babble about focusing on what I was doing rather than counting down how much longer I had.

I thought it was because he was a sadist and wanted any time on the treadmill to seem interminable.

"Like I'm falling for that."

"I'm serious this time." Dimples that should not have existed on such a large man flashed innocently in my direction.

"You've said that before, too. Hollywood don't mean dumb, you know."

All I got in return was a chuckle. "Come on then, Hollywood, let's see what you've got."

My eyes narrowed. "You are _not_ going to start calling me that, Emmett Cullen."

"You said it, not me. Now enough stalling. Move it. Focus on your stride, not the speed. Imagine the muscles working as you walk, getting stronger."

"Slave driver," I muttered under my breath. "Probably going to put me on the machines after this, aren't you?"

"I'm insulted at your lack of faith, Hollywood. Truly. A shell of the man I once was."

"God, you're worse than Jake with the melodrama. And stop calling me Hollywood!"

I threw my towel at him and he ducked dramatically.

My laughter joined with his and I put my head down, determined to make it through the rest of my day's therapy with a smile this time. Or, at least, to stop wishing I'd bought that voodoo doll when I'd been filming in New Orleans.

When Esme'd first put suggested, or commanded, rather, that I come stay with them during my convalescence, I fully admit I had my doubts. I envisioned something close to what I'd get from my own mother – incessant questions and hovering.

I couldn't have been further from the truth. Esme had a very active life, and one she had no intention of sidelining just because her daughter's boss was currently living in the guest room. She'd come in every morning with a tray of coffee, fruit and fresh muffins from Emily's. After asking if I was all right or needed anything, she'd leave me to my day with a reminder that there were lunch things in the kitchen and to help myself.

It hadn't been hard to fall into a rhythm.

Mornings were spent with muffins, coffee, fruit and reading or playing around online. Around lunch time, Alice would come over and we'd do a little work or just hang together.

Afternoons were for torture.

Any hope I'd had that my physical therapy would suffer (in a good way) from not being close to the hospital's PT suite were dashed on my first day here. Carlisle Cullen, it transpired, practiced what he preached about keeping active. And to that end, he had a full home gym in the heated garage.

Lucky me.

I took a deep breath…and a very familiar cologne tickled my nose.

Okay. So there was _one_ perk to this whole home gym thing.

"Come on, Bella, you've got a few more minutes in you, haven't you?"

The deep, silky voice was close enough to my ear that I felt the warmth of his breath on my cheek.

My breath hitched and I turned my head around.

Edward was directly behind me, his feet on either side of the treadmill's track. His body was so close to mine I could feel the heat of his chest radiating to my back.

I turned back, keeping my eyes forward. "Maybe. If properly motivated."

Edward leaned in and nibbled at my earlobe.

Suddenly, I felt like I could walk to Canada, never mind finishing out my last few minutes on the treadmill.

Edward stayed with me until the torturous device slowed to a stop. When it did, his hands dropped to my hips, turning me gently until I faced him.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I grinned back.

Then our lips came together and my favorite part of the day started.

The evenings.

Every night Edward came over after work and had dinner with me, and his parents as well if they were uncommitted that night. Then we'd go into their family room and spend a few hours together. We watched movies, talked, he wiped the floor with me at chess, or I kicked his ass at _Halo._ We discussed likes and dislikes in reading, movies, social media, He introduced me to a web-based show about the game and we spent hours laughing ourselves hoarse over the antics.

I made a note to find those guys the next time I did Comic Con.

Through it all, Edward was a perfect gentleman.

Damn him.

There was kissing – God, was there ever – and the man could do inhuman things with his lips alone. But he always stopped just short of taking it further than light touches over clothes. It didn't matter whose hands were doing the wandering, either. I was determined to change that, or maybe desperate was a better word. Didn't matter. Something had to change, and soon, or I'd go literally up in flames out of frustration alone.

"I have news."

We laughed and rested our foreheads against each other's as we'd both spoken at the same time.

"You first," I smiled.

"Today was the first day since your little adventure with the press that there hasn't been at least one of them skulking around. I think they've finally given up."

I sighed in relief. "Probably back to whatever rocks they live under or stalking some other unsuspecting soul. Alice said there hasn't been any mention of me at all after those first blurry shots from the hospital. I've disappeared off the grid again."

My mouth twisted a little because my news would probably land me right back on it again.

"What's your news?" Edward asked while we walked together from the garage gym to the main house.

"You know Dr. Mallory was out today for my check up, right?"

"Yes..?" Of course he did, we'd just been talking about it the night before. And how much we owed her for making an actual house call.

"Wellll." I drew the word out, being coy.

"You trying to break bad news to me slowly, or just outright tease me?"

"I dunno. A bit of teasing might be fun."

We were into the house now, standing in what Esme called the mud room. I had been about to walk into the kitchen, but then my back was suddenly to the mud room's wall.

"Did I mention I didn't care for teasing? Or for riddles?"

I looked up into his emerald eyes, fluttering my eyelashes at him. "You may have mentioned it. Once or twice."

Edward leaned in, his body full against mine, his lips just below my ear. "So are you going to tell me already?"

Tell him. Tell him? Was I going to tell him something? My brain had gone to jello, utterly incapable of higher functions beyond breathing and heart-beating Even those were suspect, given how erratic they both were. Death by Edward kisses? There were worse ways to go.

"Bella?" I felt more than heard him chuckle, the rush of warm breath against my ear. "You seem to have lost your train of thought. Is there a problem?"

"N-no. No problem." Then his teeth found my earlobe and I moaned.

"Not interrupting, am I?"

Edward growled, I sagged. And Emmett laughed his booming laugh.

"Emmett, God damn it."

"Thought so. It was either that or Bella was more taxed from her therapy session than she should have been. Swear to God you two're fogging up the kitchen windows."

"Em. Do you go out of your way to barge in unwanted?"

"Nope, it's a gift. Right place, right time."

"Great. So now that you've proven your abilities, how about you piss off and leave us alone?"

"Sorry, Dard. Am I messin' with your moves?"

I had to press my lips together to keep the smile from showing. Especially when Edward started to blush.

"Fuck. Off."

"Language, little brother." Emmett lingered for another second, grinning like the Cheshire Cat the whole time, and ruffling Edward's hair. Then he pushed past us, headed for his car and freedom.

"I'm telling Mom about Rosalie," Edward fumed as we watched Em's taillights disappear down the drive.

"You're going to do no such thing." I pressed my fingers to his lips.

"I mean it."

I brought my good hand up and placed it on his cheek, thumb brushing over the stubble on his cheek. "How about we worry about Emmett and his mouth later, hmm?"

Edward was still grumbling.

"I remember what I was going to tell you," I prompted.

Not even a crack to the firm line of his lips.

"Dr. Mallory cleared me to resume my usual daily activities. I'm not on house arrest anymore."

There was a pause, a beat, then a smile spread over his lips. My thumb touched the now-lifted corner of his mouth.

"Really?"

"Really," I smiled back.

"So what should we do with your newfound freedom, do you think?"

"How would you feel about going to Seattle tomorrow?"

His eyes widened, clearly that had been the opposite of expected. "Seattle?"

"You're not working tomorrow, right?"

"No, I have the weekend off." He said, thoughtful. "A lifetime of covering for everyone else meant I had no end of favors to call in so I could guarantee that. Did you have a specific place in mind, or just a tour of the city?"

"The tour of the city would be great! And then, for dinner, could we maybe go to a place called Emersons? Do you know where that is?"

Edward nodded, something almost leery in his eyes. "I do. It's near the Space Needle. The food's excellent, from what I hear, and they have live music there, too." It was clear from the look he was giving me that he wondered how the hell I knew about it.

"That's the reason I want to go there," I grinned, bouncing a little. "A good friend of mine is actually playing there tomorrow night." A squeak of excitement escaped me;

it had been so long, too long, since I'd seen Robbie play live.

"That's...serendipitous."

"I know! I mean, I knew he was doing club dates along the West Coast, we even joked about meeting up while I was hiding out on my vacation. I never dreamed it'd actually happen!"

I felt Edward stiffen and a little of my happiness deflated. "We don't have to go all the way up there. I know it's not exactly a trip to the corner market. It was just a thought."

Edward's smile was back full force making me wonder if I'd seen the frown at all. "Of course we'll go see your friend play. We'll make a day of it, go up early and do the touristy thing, then finish off with dinner and music. Does that strike your fancy?"

"It so does!" I threw my arms around him and kissed him again. "Thank you, Edward."

He chuckled and slipped his arms around me again, holding my body close to his. "If this is the reaction, I should let you ask me out on dates more often."

"You definitely should."

His hand slipped into my hair just as I raised myself on my good leg, our bodies brushing together in the most delicious way. My lips were seconds away from his when I heard the pantry door shut in the kitchen just beyond us. Shut a little louder than was probably necessary under the circumstances.

I giggled. Edward glowered.

"Something you wanted, Mom?"

There was an airy laugh from the kitchen. "Me? Nothing at all, just getting dinner ready."

Neither of us spoke – we knew she wasn't done yet.

Sure enough, after a few seconds pause, "I did wonder if Bella would want to freshen up a bit before dinner? Emmett said they did quite a bit of work today."

Now that she mentioned it, I was feeling a bit on the funky side. I wasn't exactly comfortable enough in my new relationship with Edward to let that slide all the way to rank.

"I actually would like that, Esme. How much time do I have?"

Hand in hand, Edward and I stopped hiding in the mud room and finally walked into the kitchen. Esme's eyes went to our joined hands and another smile flickered onto her face before she blanked it. As if she didn't want Edward to know she was happy about our closeness.

"All the time you need. It's just a stew and brown bread for us tonight."

"Thanks, Esme."

"Of course."

Edward walked me as far as the threshold of my room before returning to help his mother with the finishing touches for dinner.

I made quick work of stripping out of my rapidly reeking workout gear and into the waterproof sleeve Alice had found on the internet for my wrist cast. I'd been through my share of broken bones and this find was nothing less than a miracle. Gone were the days of Ziploc bags and duct tape. This baby fit right over the cast then a few squeezes of a little bulb and all the air got sucked out of it and bingo. Airtight seal around my arm.

I let my mind wander as the water and soap sluiced over my body, thinking over all that had happened since I'd come here – to the Cullen's house in particular and the Pacific Northwest in general. Whenever I'd heard the term "life-altering event" in the past, it had always been in league somehow with a plot synopsis and usually followed by the some sort of harrowing journey the scriptwriter insisted would lead the heroine to salvation and me to a little golden statue.

Most of the time it only lead to Cliché-ville, though. Which was why they never made it any further than Jake's desk and a passing mention when he told me what muck he raked through on my behalf that week.

As my head tipped back and warm water rinsed the last of the conditioner from my hair, I had to wonder. Was I in the middle of a true, bona-fide, life altering event of my own? I honestly wasn't sure.

True, I was enjoying my first real vacation in years, enjoying being a relative term considering the cast on my left arm and the physical therapy involved after my thigh bone break. Regardless, I _was_ enjoying myself. In the past two years, my only getaways had been to posh little weekend retreats. The problem was that these places were so ridiculously expensive it was a guaranteed assumption that every visitor was either famous, or rich, usually both.

Because of that, the staff was determined to cater to every whim. Very determined. Almost to the point of mania. Every one of them simpering and as cloying as dollar perfume on a hot day. It wasn't conducive to relaxation at all when every time you set down a glass, someone whizzed by to wipe off the condensation.

When I got back from my last visit to one of these places, I made Jake swear to never, ever tell Alice to book me there again. As it was, for nearly a month afterwards, I'd growl if anyone even remotely near me had called me Miss Swan.

Daniel, my co-star at the time, had heard about my experience at the spa…and then made every attempt to simper at me every time he saw me. The bastard, I thought fondly.

The problem was, if I didn't take some time for myself, I ran the risk of burnout – something that had plagued more than one of my friends over the years. Jake had made it his purpose to make sure that didn't happen to me. To that end, he'd started making noises about it vacations just a few months ago. The closer _Shattered_ came to completion, the more pointed his hints about Camp Diva became.

Then the impossible happened. We managed to finish shooting an incredible three weeks early and my schedule opened up in a way it hadn't since I'd first cast my line into the Hollywood pool. Alice had started talking almost immediately about going home for a bit to the quiet of her hometown. Our hometown, the one I hadn't lived in since I was a year old. She spoke of the peace of the forest, the cabins where I could be alone for days if I wanted to, just me and a book and nothing else to do all day. I was sold in an hour. It took us a few days to sell Jake, but sell him we did. Next thing we knew, we were on our way north in a rented Honda Accord, singing along with ABBA before fate dipped her toe in the pool and sent the car flying.

Sent me flying.

Not stopping until I landed here. In some sort of forest-enclosed sanctuary washing away the last of the day's therapy in trade for a dinner of beef stew and cared for by delightful hosts that didn't give a flip what I did for a living so long as I didn't leave wet towels on the floor or dirty dishes in the sink.

It was pretty damned refreshing.

For the first time in…ever…I was Bella. Just Bella. A woman with a bum leg she was trying to strengthen before going back to work. As I pulled on yoga pants and an oversized knit shirt, I resolved to find some place, any place, where I could do this again. Just be me without any of the trappings.

"Bella?"

I looked into the mirror. My reflection showed only a trace of the accident's bruises, damp, wavy hair, and a gorgeous man leaning against a door jamb and smiling at me.

"You know, some would consider it rude to linger in a woman's doorway while she's getting ready."

He grinned at me as he approached. "Really? Well some others would think if you didn't want rude guys lingering, you'd shut your door."

I laughed back and reached up to take the fingers now resting lightly on my shoulders, our eyes still connected in the reflection. "Dinner ready?"

"It is. I was sent to see, discreetly, if you were almost ready."

I tucked my tongue in my cheek. "Oh you were discreet, all right. Dr. Stalker."

"Good. I'd appreciate you telling my mother that," he said as he held out a hand to help me up. "Without the stalker part, of course."

"Hmm. Wanting me to lie to your mother? I dunno. I happen to like the woman. There'd have to be a fairly impressive incentive for me to do anything of the-"

The incentive landed on my lips with both heat, and intensity. My body reacted instantly, and instinctively, melting into him like butter on popcorn. With one arm around my waist to keep me securely on my feet, his free hand wound its way around the base of my neck. I felt his long surgeon's fingers slip into my hair, massaging against my scalp. I couldn't help it, I purred.

Edward groaned in response.

"What's wrong?" I asked, pulling back just enough to drag in some oxygen.

"Nothing."

"That didn't sound like a nothing, it sounded very much like a something."

My eyes flickered open to meet his and I gasped when the green I was eclipsed by pupils dilated from growing desire. My gasp filled the room again when the arm around my waist tightened, pulled me closer and…oh sweet mother of God.

The hard ridge pressed against my belly had heat flooding into me in a rush that would have knocked me on my ass if his arm wasn't still anchored around me.

"Edward? Bella? Dinner's on the table."

Our eyes were locked, twin deer caught in the same set of headlights. Both knew we had to move, neither of us were able to manage it. Oh, I wanted to move, all right. Closer. Closer still. To rise on my toes, lower back down. Give the hard ridge a little friction. Maybe bring it closer to my own super-heated core. My body was already a live wire from the past week's evening kissing sessions. Those kisses left me a little puddle of want so intense, even this brief a touch was enough to have me teetering on the knife's edge.

"Bella, I—"

"Edward, sweetheart? Is everything all right?"

I sighed. Much as I might want him, want much more…standing fully dressed, with his mother waiting (im)patiently for us to join them for dinner wasn't the time, or the place to explore that want. With a reluctant sigh, I kissed Edward's cheek, took a step backwards, and called out to Esme. "We're on our way, Esme. I wasn't quite finished getting dressed yet."

Because I knew the capricious nature of a male body well enough, I knew he'd need a moment before standing in front of his mother. I hobbled slowly towards the dining room, hoping that by the time I reached it, Edward would have deflated enough to join me. I was still using a cane to walk, it was feasible that I wouldn't be a fast mover, or that my face would still be flushed from my shower. All perfectly acceptable and understandable.

Feasibility aside, there was still a shadow of a smile on Esme's face. Carlisle's, too. As if both knew precisely what we'd been up to just now. Which, let's face it, they probably did. Maybe not how far, or how heated it had been, but I was pretty sure they knew we weren't discussing chess strategy.

Dinner passed easily enough. By the time Edward reached the table, there was no outward sign that he'd been up to anything fishy. Well, he had the same flush to his cheeks I had, but at least he wasn't sporting tented khakis.

All it took was for that thought to burst through my mind, and I could feel him pressed against me again. I'd had to down half my water glass in a pitiful attempt to douse the flash-burn through my body. Conversation flowed around me, and eventually I was even able to participate in it after I'd reigned my imagination back in.

_Christ, Bella. Get a damned grip. _

I tried to help with dishes when we'd finally finished with dessert and coffee. Esme was having none of that, of course. She shuttled me off to the family room to rest my leg and pressed Edward into service for the task. I insisted on at least clearing my own place, and did so. Esme kissed my cheek as I passed and I heard her say something about my being raised right. I laughed and told her that she and my mother would probably get along quite well.

I had the stereo on low when Edward finally joined me, a script lying open on my lap. I smiled when he entered the room smelling of Dawn. I held my hand out to him and he took it and moved around the edge of the sofa to sit next to me.

"Am I interrupting?" He indicated the script with a flick of his eyes.

"Not at all. I was just running through it again; I'll read it several times before I try to start memorizing anything."

My fingers played with his, still warm from the dishes.

"All finished with your chores?" I teased.

"Yes," he smiled back, settling easily next to me an arm around my shoulder.

I immediately cuddled into his side and we spent a pleasurably quiet moment just..being. "Take you back a little?"

"What do you mean?"

"High school. Inviting the girlfriend over to your house for dinner?" I prompted.

He chuckled and the sound was a little darker than usual. "I suppose it would, if I'd ever done anything like that."

I remembered then what Alice had said, that he hadn't dated much, in high school or college. "Should I be apologizing for the unexpected reminders of high school hell?"

This time, his laugh was more it's usual sound. "No, there's nothing to apologize for." He kissed the top of my head and then reached around to the table behind the couch, plucking off a framed photo.

I took the picture in both hands, studying the faces. It was clearly taken at Emmett's high school graduation as he still wore cap and gown. His parents beamed their pride to the camera expectedly, but their faces only garnered a glance. Even little Alice, just a pre-teen in this snapshot of time, didn't draw my attention. My eyes were only for Edward.

I reached out and touched my finger to his image – so alike, yet so very different. His shoulders weren't quite as broad, his hair quite a bit longer, glasses slightly askew on his straight nose. And his face showed the adolescent battle scars in little red islands all over his chin, cheeks, and what was visible of his forehead.

I handed the picture back, my smile a broad one. "Wow." I touched the corner of his eye. "You don't wear glasses anymore?"

He shook his head. "I had laser correction when I was in med school. I got tired of the glasses slipping down my nose and didn't want the risk of a contact screwing up my vision during surgery."

I looked down at the picture still in his hands. His eyes seemed fixated on it. "What do you see, when you look at this?"

Another dark laugh. "Walking girl repellant."

"Not this girl," I said and turned more towards him.

"You don't have to say that."

"Say what, the truth?"

"I wasn't attractive, Bella, I know that. I've accepted it."

"You are to me."

"Now."

"And then," I insisted. "All I think when I see this picture is that I'm damned glad my father moved away with my mother when I was young." Edward looked puzzled, so I continued. "Alice and I are close in age, guaranteed we'd have found each other and been friends."

I paused. Edward still looked confused.

"And...?" he prompted

I took the script from my lap, the picture from his hands, and set both on the coffee table in front of us and moved in closer still.

"And if I'd known you then, giggling and ten years old, I'd have developed this wicked crush on you, followed you around like a puppy, and you'd never see me as anything but your little sister's friend." I shifted again, not stopping until my lips were just brushing his. "Which would mean the likelihood of my ever getting to do this would be about nil."

I closed the last bit of distance and pressed my mouth to his.

He responded as I'd hoped he would, with a moan against my lips and his hand back around my waist. The kiss stretched on, slow and deep, teasing and shallow. Our tongues danced and dueled together as our bodies shifted on the sofa. When I came up for air, I was looking directly into Edward's face, green eyes almost obscured by dilated pupils.

I had intended to tease, to say something quick and witty about the tragedy of little girl crushes. All that was lost in the depth of his gaze, the raw, basic need in his eyes.

"Bella..."

His lips were back on mine. There was no teasing this time, no dueling. This kiss was all about want, desire, and more, more, more. His head tilted as his tongue thrust into my mouth, taking the kiss deeper still. His hand came up to fist in my hair, keeping me head anchored to his. I didn't mind in the slightest. In fact, it wasn't enough. Not by a long shot. I wanted more, needed more.

As if he knew the direction of my thoughts, I felt Edward's other hand skim the length of my back, find the edge of my shirt. His long fingers slipped underneath, the warmth of them burning against my bare skin. I moaned my pleasure, letting my voice vibrate against his lips, hopefully spurring him on. I needed. Oh God, I needed.

Answering my unspoken wants, he drifted his touch up and around along my ribcage further, further still. I shifted just enough so that my entire torso wasn't pressed against his, silently pleading for his touch. My breath held as he closed the last inch and finally, God yes finally, my breast filled his hand.

He gasped, lips wrenching away from mine, eyes wide. "No bra?"

"Not unless I have to. Hate the damned things."

He groaned again as his fingers lightly kneaded against my skin. "And this is...all right?"

"More than all right," I answered, not recognizing the huskiness of my own voice. "So all right that if you stop, I'll have to hurt you."

He chuckled, but his voice was too full of desire to hold much mirth. Instead, he pulled my mouth to his and let his hand explore my breast, fingers rolling the tightening nipple between them. I shifted again, trying to give him better access. In doing so, I brushed against the ridge of his erection. This elicited groans from both of us, sounds of the longing and need that shot through me and, I assumed, through him. His kisses increased in intensity anyway.

His lips and tongue moved along my jaw, kissing and licking, his teeth taking small bites and nibbling on my earlobe. "Bella." My name was a hot breath in my ear.

I shifted again, rocking my core against his cock. "God, Edward."

His teeth came down on my earlobe again, a little harder this time. My body reacted with another arch, another dry thrust. I needed. Needed. The tension in me was a coiled spring, and like nothing I'd ever felt before.

A light flickered on in the kitchen, illuminating my face.

"...what?" I said, looking up, disoriented.

"Fuck," Edward growled after a moment's heavy breathing. "Emmett was right."

Now I was really confused.

The light in the kitchen went out, and a second later, I heard Esme's voice calling from the stairway. "I've left the cake in the refrigerator, if either of you want a second piece later on. Good night! Drive safe on your way home, Edward."

Her cheerful parting echoed as we heard her feet moving up the stairs.

I looked back at Edward, a small hope that we could resume where we'd left off. No such luck. It was clear from first look that the heat of the moment had swept us by.

Damn it.

Slowly, carefully, I extricated myself from my precarious position atop him. I didn't want to put an elbow or knee where it would cause him undue pain, and my own leg was still stiff and awkward. Eventually, we managed to get back to our more chaste position of sitting side by side on the sofa, my head on his shoulder.

"Explain what you meant a minute ago? About Emmett?"

Edward's arm was back around me, his fingers tracing little patterns on my upper arm. My hand held his other one, tracing similar shapes on his palm.

"When we were in school, Em called Mom 'the shortstop.' I'm just now finding out how fitting it really is."

That one took me a minute. But one thing about living in Los Angeles, you didn't avoid baseball talk for long, especially during the season. Especially if Dodgers were playing well. "Let me guess. Because she stopped him getting to third base?"

Edward laughed. "All the time. He'd bring girls here for movie nights and such because this room is kind of isolated from the rest of the house. He always thought he had her figured out, that he'd be able to thwart her. Every time, she came up the winner, and he went away with blue balls."

We laughed. Mine was a little more evil as I decided to mention it to him at some time in the near future.

My body was still thrumming. While not as intense as it had been a few minutes before, the ache was still there. I was sure it wasn't gone for Edward, either. I knew it wasn't, actually. Khaki's hid nothing.

"But that's when you were kids, right?"

I turned to look up at him, he smiled back and kissed my forehead. "Yes, but it's just as wrong now."

I frowned. "I wouldn't say that."

"I would. Much as I want you, and believe me, Bella," he paused and pulled me in for another slow, deep kiss that left no doubt about his wants, "I do. But you deserve so much more than a thrusting match on the sofa." His hands were cupping my face now, thumbs touching the corners of my mouth.

How the hell was I supposed to argue with that logic? I sighed. Because I couldn't. I wanted more than dry humping on a couch, too. Much more.

The bedroom down the hall was a non-starter. I wasn't about to pay Esme and Carlisle back their hospitality that way. It wasn't the person I was, or the way I'd been raised. Sure, for the first time in my life I was starting to get an idea of what all the shouting was about as far as sex went. That didn't mean I was about to step all over who I was to get it.

"You're right," I acquiesced on an slow exhale.

"However."

Both my libido and I perked up immediately. "However?"

Edward closed his eyes and appeared to swallow hard. Not to mention the rise of a flush on his cheeks, "I was thinking that since Seattle's a good three hour drive, it might be a bit late for you to, you know, sit that long in a car after a day's sight seeing and such. Maybe. I was thinking maybe we could just stay in the city for the night."

My smile grew exponentially the longer he talked. "Just the two of us?"

"Just the two of us."

"One room?"

He grinned back and lowered to speak directly against my lips. "Most definitely one room."

I raised up and kissed him. "I like the way your mind works, Edward Cullen."

* * *

Emerson's is a figment of my imagination.


	11. Chapter 11

_a/n: previous disclaimers still apply_

_a/n2: thanks so much to everyone who's taken the time to review (I think I managed to thank everyone again!), as well as those who've alerted or favorited. Y'all make my inbox happy._

* * *

~*~* Alice

The buzz of an incoming text message pulled me out of my intense study of a water spot on the wall. I picked it up and frowned when I saw it was a text from Bella.

_911, u there?_

I groaned just a bit – so much for my lazy, quiet morning. Then I remembered that taking on this job meant I was more available than coffee at 7-11.

Moving myself to a sitting position, I hit the speed dial. I pushed a hand through my bedhead and tried to figure out just what kind of emergency she'd stumbled into this early on a Saturday morning. I knew she was in Seattle today with Edward, knew also that if she'd been in an accident or hurt in any way, it would have been Edward calling or texting. I tried to settle my breathing as best I could while waiting for her to pick up.

"What's up?" I said when she answered, my voice ending on a yawn.

"Morning, Alice. Shit, I didn't wake you up, did I? Damn it, I did. I know it, don't bother lying. What time is it?"

I chuckled at her ramble. "It's nearing eleven, and yes, you did, but it's all right. Time for me to crawl my skinny butt out of bed anyway. So what's the emergency?"

"Good. Okay. The emergency. Right. Jasper plays bass, doesn't he?"

I stared at the phone for a second before returning it to my ear. Jasper's hobby was somehow an emergency?

"Yeah...?" I drew the single word out and left the "what the hell are you on?" unspoken.

"I know. I'm just really frazzled. Robbie rang about ten minutes ago and he was worse than me, all freaking out. He was hoping to catch me before we'd driven up from Forks. They were going to have to cancel the performance tonight. The guy he has playing bass for him got blitzed last night, tripped and fell. Broke two fingers on his left hand."

At one point during the ramble, another pair of long fingers skimmed up my thigh, passed over my hip and swirled around my belly button.

"S'wrong?"

His voice was muffled by the pillow. It didn't matter. I still felt it shimmer over my body and cause all sorts of little explosions. As it was, I had to work hard to control the gasp before Bella heard it.

I covered the mouthpiece with my hand. "Nothing. Just Bella."

He growled a little and moved closer to me, long body pressed against mine. "Thought you had the day off."

I laughed. "No such thing for a PA, Jas. We're like doctors in a way, always on call."

"Alice? Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry. Ah, making coffee. So. Anyway, The guy broke his hand, and…" I prompted.

"Right, so I remembered you saying that Jasper played bass and that he knew who Robbie was, that you'd heard one of his songs when you were in his van and so on. So I told Robbie about him, and Robbie wants to know if Jasper can possibly pinch hit for him tonight? Maybe come by early so they can run through tabs or something like that."

All through Bella's recitation, Jasper had moved closer and closer to me. His leg shifted and his thigh came to rest across mine, pulling me into him. Apparently, all of him was awake. Oh God. A thousand images from the night before assaulted me. I smacked them away. I needed to focus, damn it. A near impossible feat with his lips now brushing my collarbone and a hard ridge against my thigh.

"Tell her you have to go." His hands were skimming up my sides, calloused fingertips brushing the sensitive undersides of my breasts. Sweet Jesus.

"Alice? Are you feeling all right?"

I had to fight my way back to lucid. "I'm fine. Just. Need the bathroom. Call you back in five?"

Bella sounded petulant when she agreed and hung up.

I dropped the phone just as Jasper's lips covered mine in a kiss I felt down to my toes. My body arched and rolled against his, the heat generated by his very talented lips turning me into warm jello. My body wanted to give itself over to him and his persuasive kisses, my mind knew that Bella was probably tapping her foot, waiting for me to call her back.

I wanted nothing more than to tell my mind to fuck off.

"I have to call her back," I said between kisses.

"Day. Off." He moved his mouth down my throat.

"This concerns you, though."

I felt his chuckle along my collarbone. "She need to borrow my van again?"

"No, your fingers," I said with a breathy little giggle.

"Can't have 'em," he said huskily, "they're busy at the moment."

God, were they ever.

_Focus, Alice. Focus._

I needed to derail this train before those clever little fingers moved any lower and effectively cut off any conversation at all for at least an hour. Or more. The guy had stamina to spare.

"What if Robbie Foster needs them for his gig tonight at Emerson's?"

His hand stilled an inch below my belly button. His head rose from kissing the top swell of my breast so he could look straight into my face.

"What was that?"

"Robbie Foster. He's playing at Emerson's tonight. In Seattle."

"I know where Emerson's is, kitten, and I know about the show. I tried to get tickets for it, but they sold out in about an hour and I was stuck in traffic with a dead cell phone the entire time." Clearly, he was still pissed off about it.

"Right, well. I was going to tell you about this last night, but you distracted me."

He chuckled and drew a circle around my hipbone. "Didn't hear you complaining at the time."

My cell phone buzzed on the nightstand. Right. Focus.

"Speaking of complaining, she's only going to get more persistent. So here's the thing. Bella and I know Robbie, know him well. He's Daniel's best friend and he spent a month visiting him while they were filming _Shattered_. He and I hung out together while they off in front of the cameras. Anyway, she called yesterday and got tickets to see him tonight for her and Edward. I'd told her you liked his music, so she got us tickets as well. Surprise," I finished weakly.

Jasper wasn't trying to tease me back to a more sexy frame of mind any more. He was actually looking at me like I'd sprouted antlers.

"How did you know I liked his music?"

"When you came to help us get Bella to my parents', the CD you were playing in the van had his music on it. Even Bella noticed."

"So we're going to see him tonight?"

"Well, we were. Seems he called Bella this morning because they we going to have to cancel the show. His bassist broke his hand last night. Then she remembered my saying you were in a band and played bass. She told Robbie and now Robbie wants to know if you could make it to Seattle early to meet him and the rest of them, and play the gig with them tonight?"

There was a long, pregnant pause. My buzzing cell phone was the only sound in his whole apartment. He wasn't even breathing.

Then Jasper burst into laughter and pulled me back to his side.

"Good God, kitten, you had me going there for a minute." He grinned and moved in, pressing me back against the mattress under his long, lean body. He was still chuckling when he leaned in to kiss along my throat and collarbone, very clearly picking up where he'd left off just moments before.

He stopped smiling when I held my phone up and showed him the latest message from Bella.

_Did you fall in? What did he say? Robbie's calling me every 2 mins_

He sat up immediately, like someone had poked a fork into his ass.

"You're serious?" Pause. "She's serious?"

I leaned against the pillows. "We both are."

The phone buzzed in my hand again.

_MARY ALICE?_

"And apparently, she needs an answer now. What d'you say?"

He shook his head like a dog trying to get water out of its ears, then looked back at me. I smiled. "It's real, Jas."

"Then I'd be a damned fool for turning this down, wouldn't I?"

My smile widened. "I'd say that's a big yes. And I don't sleep with damned fools."

"You didn't sleep with me, either. You passed out from sheer bliss."

"Arrogant little creep." I barely managed the last word, his lips were back on my torso again as he kissed his way north.

I texted back to Bella that we'd be there so she'd stop pestering me, then dropped the phone to the table just in time for Jasper to resume his position covering me, his mouth devouring mine. I arched into his kiss, my hand on his ass...and then he was off me like a shot and across the room.

"Hey!" I gasped, both startled and annoyed.

"What? If I've got to get to Seattle to play, I've got a shit load to do before then. Tune both bases, get dressed, the drive itself. I need gas, hit the ATM…"

I flumped back on the bed and grumbled while Jasper flitted around his apartment like a hummingbird. My body took its time coming to grips with the knowledge that it wasn't, in fact, about to have another bout of mind-blowing Jasper sex.

Damn it.

Bella owed me again.

Big time.

* * *

I sat across from Bella at the little coffee shop we'd found for a late breakfast, watching as one petulant fingernail kept tapping on the side of the ceramic mug. Her other hand was busy ripping a scone into little pieces.

"Anxious?"

Bella looked up at me. "What? No, of course I'm not anxious. Why?"

I looked under the table at the leg that was currently tapping out some sort of frenzied rhythm and then at the decimated scone. I grinned. "No reason."

She looked lost for a moment, then laughed and relaxed a bit. "Sorry. Okay, so I'm a little tense. Alice is the master at keeping things like this going, juggling all the uncertainty for me. I appear to have lost my coping skills."

"She's probably just calling this Jasper to see if he's available."

Bella looked at me funny, both eyebrows vanishing into her bangs.

"What?"

"Ah, Edward? I don't know how to break this to you, but I'm pretty sure Jasper was there with her."

I frowned, then caught sight of the clock over the register and almost smiled. It was just past eleven in the morning. Perfectly respectable time for him to be there. Then I remembered Bella saying that she must've woken Alice up.

"No."

Bella giggled and reached over to take my hand. "Fraid so. I think your little sister had herself a slumber party."

Try as I might to stop it, my mind conjured up a handful of seriously disturbing images and...yuck. I scrubbed at my eyes then looked over at Bella. "Any way you can jump us back in time so I don't have to hear any of that?"

She grinned. "Sorry."

I tried to remember what Jasper looked like, but I was coming up short. I wanted to see if there was anything at all redeeming about the guy's look, or attitude. I couldn't come up with a damned thing. The one and only time I'd seen the guy, I'd been too focused on getting Bella from the hospital to my parents house with the least amount of discomfort. I'd left the glaring to Emmett.

Finally, I found a smile. "Em's going to burst a few dozen blood vessels when he finds out." My fingers were already digging in my pocket for my phone.

"Don't you dare, Edward Cullen. You leave my employee alone."

I shot her a look. "Your employee?"

She grinned back, teasing. "I figured I had a better chance of you listening if I played that angle instead."

I couldn't stop myself. The wicked little grin on her face was so adorable, it demanded kissing. So I got up, leaned over the table, and did just that. I supposed by the little hum against my lips that she didn't mind in the slightest. The whimper when I pulled back proved the supposition. God, I loved deductive reasoning.

Just as I retook my seat, Bella's phone buzzed again. Her face went through a contortion of expressions – relief, confusion, laughter, oh-no-you-didn't – that I couldn't help the question. "You're getting all that emotion from one 160 character text?"

"What can I say? Your sister is nothing if not eloquent with her text speak. Bottom line is, they're on their way now." She looked over at me, beseeching. "Mind if I…?"

"Call this Robbie and pass on the good news. I'll get us a refill." I picked up our mugs and kissed the top of her head as I went back to the register.

I ordered another round and had my card out for the girl when she leaned in towards me, conspiratorially. "Excuse me for asking but…is that…I mean, are you sitting with Bella Swan?"

I put best shocked expression on my face. I looked over at Bella, camouflaged in sunglasses and a Dodgers cap, her long hair pulled through the back of it, then back to the cashier. "Bella Swan?" I laughed. "No, not at all, though she gets that a lot. That's my sister, Ethel."

"Ethel?" The girl said it as though such a name was nothing short of tragic. "Poor girl."

"Yeah, Mom didn't like her much." I chuckled at my own wit and quirked a smile at the cashier. That put a funny look on the girl's face, so I paid quickly and moved over to wait. As I did so, I watched Bella as she talked animatedly with her friend. Her smile was wide and genuine, her laugh pealing and warm. Every sound I'd come to love from her – and ones I'd stupidly thought were just for me.

I hovered at the counter while she finished her conversation, not wanting to intrude. To pass the time, I called myself every sort of jealous idiot. I was just in the throes of a long winded internal rant over stupid-things-people-do-to-ensure-the-best-parts-of-their-lives-end-abruptly when Bella waved me over.

Her phone lay on the table and she was starting to nibble on the scone remnants. "Why'd you wait all the way over there?"

"I didn't want to interrupt while you were on the phone."

"Such a gentleman," Bella grinned and fluttered her eyelashes at me.

"Guilty," I smiled back.

Bella took a sip from her mug, her eyes looking towards the counter then back at me. "You have a fan, it seems."

I wrinkled up my face. "Isn't that my line?"

"Not this time. Our cashier can't stop staring at the back of your head. Looks like she's hoping that by sheer force of will she can get you to turn around again."

I couldn't stop myself. I half-turned in my seat to look back at the cashier. Not only was she staring at me, but she waved when our eyes met. Mortified, I turned back to Bella. My cheeks were bright red. There was nothing for it but to tough it out. I doubted asking to bury my face in the ice bin would be well-received.

I looked across the table at Bella, who was grinning fit to burst. "You're actually enjoying this."

"I am. First, because you're cute when you blush."

Which, of course, only made me blush harder.

"Second, because it's fun to not be the one being stared at for a change. Kinda refreshing, actually."

"She did recognize you, the cashier, I mean."

Bella chanced a look at her. "Polite one, then."

"Well, I sort of told her you weren't you."

"Come again?"

I grinned wider. "Told her you were my sister, Ethel. And that people got you and Bella Swan mixed up all the time."

"Your...sister."

"Uh huh."

"But...you kissed me just now."

I waggled my eyebrows. "I know."

"God, who knew you were such a little perv."

"Haven't you heard, Ethel? It's always the quiet ones."

We were still laughing as we left the coffee shop a few minutes later, arm in arm after a kiss that had the staring cashier gagging loud enough for us to hear.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of Seattle's best. We went to the top of the Space Needle, then saw Pioneer Square on a driving tour. Bella saved her walking for Pike Place Market where she visited several of the homemade craft stands for gifts and then worshiped for a time at her Mecca, the very first Starbucks. We stayed there for another coffee, talking low with our heads together, laughing over the people and sites we'd seen that day.

I didn't want to say it had been the best day ever, but it really had been. We'd just been a new couple exploring a city together for the first time. No one seemed to pay Bella any mind at all – there were no camera clicks, no shouts of her name. Nothing. Just Bella and Edward Go To Seattle.

All through the day I was able to keep the idea of seeing Alice and...and the guy she was apparently banging...out of my mind as evening drew near. I'd been a good boy all day long and hadn't called or texted Emmett once. It hadn't been without effort, either. I reminded myself that Emmett would drive like a mad man to get up here to give this Jasper what for – and that I didn't want the eventual car accident on my conscience. We all lived in Forks, tomorrow would be soon enough for cornering this Jasper and giving him The Talk.

Armed with this happy knowledge, I pulled my car around back of the restaurant as we'd been told to do and slipped it into an open parking space with the sign "Reserved BS."

I cut a look at her. "You really do have great initials."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Jake says they're fitting as that's what I do for a living."

"He's one to talk."

Bella laughed and leaned over the console to kiss my cheek.

"What was that for?"

"Because I always tell him the exact same thing."

She kissed my cheek again, then moved up my jaw line to my ear. "We'll stay an hour into the set. Then we're leaving."

I popped a brow. "We don't have to. I wouldn't want to pull you away from..."

This time it was her lips interrupting me. She'd also managed to slip a hand up and into my hair. Gently, she pulled me closer as her mouth continued to move over mine, her tongue slipping its way past my lips and into my mouth. We'd kissed a lot during the day, we'd even had a few that had flirted with out of hand. None of them compared to this kiss, and my rapidly fogging windows.

"I'm doing this to support a friend, Edward. What I really want is to be alone with you."

"You've convinced me."

She smiled. "You sure you don't want to be convinced more?"

I cleared my throat, trying to come up with an answer that wasn't "any more convincing and the hotel room will be rendered moot." I was having very little luck. Thankfully, someone chose that moment to knock on Bella's window.

"Oi! Shaggin' in the car, Swan? That's not on for a big celeb like you. Next thing I know, I'll be seein' your bare arse on Perez Hilton or some other horrorshow."

Bella gasped and turned to the fogged window, wiping it clear with her hand. "Daniel?" When the man on the other side of the glass peered in, grinning, Bella squeaked and practically ripped her seatbelt off. She scrambled at the door handle as she tried to get it open. I popped the lock from my side and watched her push the door open.

"Careful getting out..."

My advice wasn't necessary. A pair of very large hands reached in and practically pulled her from the car. And straight into the very long arms they were attached to. I got out a bit slower. Not because of any bulging jeans – that little problem had immediately deflated when she'd gone into another man's arms.

Across the car, Bella was talking in a flurry. Laughing and joking, hands gesticulating wildly like she did when she was really excited. There we laughs and hugs interspersed with the "what are you doing here's?" and "how have you been's." Then Bella launched into a ramble about our day in Seattle, culminating with how I'd taken her to the very first Starbucks. Even I had to smile at that memory.

"He was so sweet, asked if I wanted to use his jacket as a prayer mat when we got there." She looked over and held out her hand to me. "There you are. Edward, come and meet one of my best friends."

Leery as I was over the guy with his arm around Bella's waist, I kept my face open and smiling as I walked around the car to her side and held out my hand.

"Edward Cullen."

"Daniel Ashford. Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Cullen. Bells has told me so much about you and what you've done for her." He gave her a slight squeeze. "While she assures me her life wasn't in any danger over her accident, I'm still grateful that you've helped return her to us just as she was before, if a little more metallic."

"I have a rod in my leg, Daniel. You're making me sound like Iron Woman, and last I checked Rob's got that role wrapped up and not looking for a female sidekick."

"Might not be a bad idea, graceful as you are. I think even that suit might be able to keep you safe."

Bella poked him in the stomach. "You really are a jerk, Ashford," Bella laughed, clearly teasing."Now where's Tracy? Please tell me she's here?"

"Ah, sorry, luv." And he truly looked it. "She's bloody buried in night shoots for the next week or so and couldn't make it. S'why I decided to come up and surprise you. She sends her best, though, and says she'll ring you soon. Though I expect soon will be tonight at some point. Girl's got no patience at all."

At first I'd been glad of the discussion that had kept me from trying to find a non-stupid response to his gratitude over my now defunct role as Bella's doctor. That sort of thing always made me supremely uncomfortable; "you're welcome" always sounded so pat and fake, but what else was there?

After a minute or so, however, I was glad of their conversation for a whole different reason. It camouflaged the fact that I couldn't seem to rip my eyes away from the young British actor.

Daniel Ashford was, without doubt, the most attractive man I had ever seen up close.

Don't get me wrong, I'm as hetero as it got. Not so much as curious bone in my body where my own sex was concerned. That didn't seem to matter a damn. There was just something about this guy that drew the eye and kept it there. Of course, I knew I'd felt the same about Bella when I'd first laid eyes on her in person. I'd known before we met that she was beautiful, but seeing her in the flesh was altogether different. And even more bewitching.

I wondered if that was just something about actors, that whole industry. They said the camera added ten pounds, I wondered if it also muted attractiveness. I thought it must; it was the only way to explain away how such beautiful people could seem to be even moreso in person.

The odd thing was that over our time together, however, some of that bewitchment seemed to have faded. I still thought her the most gorgeous woman in the world; so much so she routinely stole my breath away. But that impression was no longer limited to just the outer shell. My frequent bouts of wheezing had as much to do with the truly lovely woman she was inside. The woman I was terrified to admit I was starting to fall in love with.

Whoa. Where had that come from?

Thankfully, Daniel took that moment to shake me out of my disturbing inner monologue. "Shall we go in then? It's like bloody London out here and I've not been gone long enough to be nostalgic about drizzle."

I smiled and nodded, deciding to ignore certain thoughts for now. "It's definitely an acquired taste," I agreed.

My smile widened when Bella let Daniel lead the way and stayed close in to my side, her arm tight around my waist.

"Is your leg bothering you?"

"Not more than a twinge or two. Advil's keeping it under control." She gave my waist a squeeze. "I just like being close to you. Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

I grinned and kissed the top of her head. "Nothing at all."

I was thinking about stopping us just inside the back entrance and maybe kissing her a little more, but she was plucked from my arms before I could so much as shift.

"There she is! There you are! Bloody fucking good to see you, poppet. God, you're as tiny as Tracy, and your sprite of a PA, aren't you? What is it with you Yank girls bein no bigger'n a whisper?"

This time Bella wasn't so much hugged as twirled around in a circle that made me dizzy just watching it.

"Robbie, put me down now or I'm going to puke Starbucks all over you."

She was back on her feet a second later and I somehow got the feeling he didn't take that as an empty threat. Regardless, I stepped up immediately to stand at her back. The absolute last thing she needed was to fall over dizzy. It was my job to make sure she didn't damage herself further; especially as she and gravity were barely on speaking terms.

Yeah, right. All of that was a pile of worthless rationalizations. I really liked it when she stood with her back to my front and pulled my arms around her. Besides, based on the way she cuddled into me, she didn't mind being held like this any more than I minded the holding.

"Ah, the good doctor, is it?"

"Yes," I said and put my hand out again. "Edward Cullen."

"It's my pleasure and privilege to meet you. Robert Foster, at your disposal," he returned my handshake and added in a bow at the hips, "and in your debt."

I was pretty sure both the words and action would have come over as pretentious as hell from anyone else. For this guy, it just seemed to fit.

"Back at you," I said on a smile.

Robbie laughed, a full, rich sound that filled the small space where we stood.

"I'm afraid we'll have to do the catch up later, my bella Bella." He kissed Bella's forehead then turned to the other Brit. "Dan, I've got to run back and get this lot to figure out the bloody changeover. You'll show the new arrivals where you'll be sitting?"

"On it, mate. Go fiddle around."

Robbie, already walking off, raised two fingers over his head.

Bella giggled, then angled her head to look up at me. "That's the Brit version of the bird, in case you didn't know."

I smiled, lost a bit in her twinkling brown eyes. "I did, actually. But thanks for telling me."

My hand came up to hold her chin, my head lowered to touch our lips together. Just a little kiss, I thought, one little one. I didn't feel threatened at all by either of the very attractive British guys with their accents that were, by all female accounts I'd heard, apparently sex on fire. That had nothing to do with it. I just wanted a little kiss, a little taste. Nothing possessive or marking – I wasn't that much of a Neanderthal.

Not really.

Okay, so maybe I was.

Bella didn't mind. She was the one to turn in my arms, to raise her arms up and wrap them around my neck, to tilt her head and deepen the kiss. "Is it an hour yet?" Her voice was whisper soft against my lips.

"Not just yet, Ethel," I smiled back, adding in a wink, and we both dissolved into laughter.

I thought I heard Tom Petty's "American Girl" playing somewhere close. Before I could locate the source, Bella's arms tightened around me and I returned all my attention to her.

I was just thinking of lowering down to punctuate her lingering laughter with another kiss, when I felt a hand on my arm.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt...?" And to his credit, he truly looked it. "But Tracy's on the phone and she's demanding to speak with Bella."

"I'm not demanding anything, you wanker, I just asked!"

Bella and Daniel both laughed at the voice coming through loud and clear on the cell phone he held.

She raised on her toes and pecked my lips again before taking the phone from Daniel and promptly started fussing the voice on the other end of the phone about interruptions and then something about a trailer rocking.

I decided I didn't want to know.

"They're close?" I asked of Daniel.

"He smiled and nodded. Like sisters from the second they met for real."

"For real?"

"The nature of what we do. We've all seen each other, heard of each other. Passed by with a smile or nod on one red carpet or another. I'd been to several of Bella's premieres before I finally met her face to face, so we knew each other before we finally met, but only as nodding acquaintances."

"If you didn't know her, why would you go to the premiere of her movies?"

"It's all about being seen, mate. At least, it was."

Something dark crossed his handsome face. The doctor in me stepped forward. "Are you feeling all right?"

That darkness passed in a second. "Thanks, yes. I'm perfectly fine. Just that being seen bit has sort of crossed into insane territory of late. Not ten months ago, I was nobody, relatively speaking. Now I can't nip into a pub for a pint without having a load of cameras shoved in my face asking if I'm after pale or bitter."

I nodded. "I saw a little of that when the press found out that Bella was at our hospital. I've never seen that many cameras before in my life. Not outside of Best Buy, anyway."

"I'm a bit new to this party, the whole cameras everywhere thing. Tracy and I both are, come to that. Bella's had it almost her whole career, poor girl, and she's been an utter love in us cope with the near constant lack of privacy."

Since I hadn't been living under a rock for the past few years, I knew the movie that had catapulted this man into the spotlight. Because I'd recently spent an almost indecent amount of time researching Bella's life on the internet, I was even more familiar with this guy's story now. How he'd met Tracy while filming an adaptation of a very popular book, how the same are-they-or-aren't-they speculation followed them around until they'd shut it all down by turning up at the premiere together, Tracy with a single black onyx ring on her left hand.

"They're still following you around? Like they do her?"

Daniel nodded. "They are, yes. Bloody annoying, about it, too. We thought it'd die down by now, but no such luck. That's why we're all sitting back here tonight, behind the stage and out of sight. One Twitter that she's here, or I am? The place will be mobbed."

Before Bella's crashed into my life, I'd have thought the guy arrogant as hell. Now I knew better.

"Speaking of, how did today go?"

I knew what he was asking. "Very well. There was one near miss, cashier thought she recognized her, but I was able to deflect that one. For the rest of the day, it's just been us. The only cameras around were pointing at the sights, not at us."

Daniel smiled and clapped me on the back. "I hope you appreciate just how rare and wonderful that is."

My eyes were back on Bella's laughing face. "I appreciate it all, Daniel."

He chuckled. "Knew I liked the look of you."

"Edward!"

I looked up just in time to avoid being utterly blindsided by my sister. "Damn, Alice. You been taking lessons from Em while I wasn't looking? I think you cracked a rib."

She laughed and smacked my arm. "I did not, you jerk. I'm just excited. Hi, Daniel," she said with an offhand greeting to the guy, who might as well be a coat rack for all the attention she paid him. I supposed that living in Hollywood had inured her from good-looking men.

Daniel returned her greeting and wandered back out the rear door, cigarette in hand.

"Making new friends, Dard?" Alice said with a tickle-poke to my side.

"Strange as it seems, yeah, I am. He seems a down to earth guy."

"He is. One of the best."

"Speaking of guys..."

Alice's smile was gone in a blink. "Don't you dare start."

"Oh, I'm going to start, Midge. Bella is somehow under the impression that this Jasper was actually with you this morning." I paused. "In bed." Another pause when she remained silent. "Alice?"

"What? I refuse to answer nunya questions."

"Nunya?"

"Yeah, nunya business."

My mouth quirked in spite of myself. "Clever. Not helpful, but clever."

"Listen, Edward. I'm a big girl. Able to tie my own shoes and buy my own drinks and everything. So any comment about who I might or might not have been shagging last night are off limits."

"Shagging."

"Yeah, it's a Brit term—"

"I know what it means, I just didn't know you'd turned British."

"It's just a better sounding word. Fucking is too crude and making love is too romance-y, so I adopted shagging."

"So you were...shagging...him this morning?"

She sighed. "No, I was about to. Then Bella called. Next thing I knew, I was lying on the bed all worked up and alone, and Jasper was running around like the proverbial chicken."

"Remind me to thank Bella later," I said with a teasing grin to my sister and a wink to Bella when I caught her eye.

"Ass," Alice responded, smacking my stomach.

"So. When do I get to meet the mystery shagger."

To my delight, Alice looked decidedly uncomfortable.

"You've already met him. When we picked up Bella at the hospital."

"Doesn't count. That just makes us nodding acquaintances," I added, borrowing Daniel's term.

"Well, you're not bothering him now. He's nervous enough about playing with Robbie. Meeting my overbearing older brother isn't going to help matters any. How about after the show?"

Now it was my turn to look sheepish. "Ah, we might not be here through the end, actually."

One dangerous eyebrow raised on my sister's forehead. "Oh really?"

"She's still recovering. She needs to rest her leg."

Alice laughed. "That's such a pile of bullshit, Dard. You're taking her home for a bit of shagging yourself."

"That's not true."

Eyebrow again.

"Okay, it's not technically true. We're not going home, we're staying at the 1000 tonight," I admitted, stopping just shy of scuffing my shoe on the ground.

Alice was still laughing as Daniel walked back in, past us, and over to where Bella and Tracy were still catching up over the phone. We shared a smile and a nod as he passed by.

She waited until Daniel was well out of earshot. "Got to say it, Edward, but I'm impressed."

I frowned. "Impressed about what?"

"You. Really, it takes a secure man to carry on a conversation with a guy you know has had his hands all over your girlfriend."

I'd heard the expression about the bottom falling out of your stomach, but I'd never felt it before.

Until now.

"What?"


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N – see disclaimer on previous chapters._

_A/N2 – thanks so much for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites. Each one makes me smile so much and truly brightens my day._

_Also - I always tinker after I get this back from beta - any boo boos belong to me, not her_

* * *

Chapter 12

_She waited until Daniel was well out of earshot. "Got to say it, Edward, but I'm impressed."_

_I frowned. "Impressed about what?"_

_"You. Really, it takes a secure man to carry on a conversation with a guy you know has had his hands all over your girlfriend."_

_I'd heard the expression about the bottom falling out of your stomach, but I'd never felt it before. Not until now._

_"What?"_

It took me a little longer than I'd thought, catching up with Tracy. From the moment we'd met, we'd taken to each other like sisters. Laughing, teasing, joking, even fighting when we'd found ourselves on different sides of a hotly debated topic. Those arguments, though heated, only lasted until the conversation moved to a something else, however. Under it all, we were as close as close got without a blood tie; maybe even closer as we hadn't gone through adolescence together, bickering about stealing makeup and sweaters.

That was why it was so difficult for me to relinquish the phone to Daniel when he turned back up after his smoke break. I missed her so much and with our schedules, we wouldn't be seeing each other again any time soon.

Yeah, it wasn't easy. But the look on Daniel's face reminded me how necessary it was. Trace and I might be sisters, but those two were soul mates and I knew that being apart was hard for them – like taking a vacation and leaving your right arm behind. My eyes went over to where Edward stood talking to Alice, and I started to think I might understand that sense of loss a bit better than I had just a few weeks ago.

I gave my head a mental shake. I wasn't going to go there just yet. I was going to play Scarlet O'Hara for a little while longer and not think about LA, and what waited for me there.

With that mindset, I walked over to Edward and Alice and slipped my arm back around his waist. He was a very tall man, yet I somehow managed to fit perfectly right up against his side. And I loved that I seemed to fit there like his side had been made to accommodate me.

I paused in the midst of turning to smile up at him. Something was wrong, very wrong. Because I'd spent so much time up against his side today, I knew immediately that something was wasn't off. The tension radiating off of him was almost visible.

"Edward?" I pulled away just enough to search his eyes. I didn't like what I found there. "What's wrong?"

He was working very hard to change his expression, and mostly succeeding. But his body was still tense as a spring against mine.

"Nothing, Bella. It's nothing."

I looked over to Alice for a clue and she looked positively horrified.

"All right, you two. What did I miss?" Alice opened her mouth and I held up a finger. "If you say 'nothing,' Mary Alice, I will fire your skinny little ass in a heartbeat."

"It's not her fault."

I quirked a brow at Edward. "And whose fault is it, then, this thing I've missed and no one will tell me about?"

The band chose that moment to ramp it up the sound check. My teeth ground together. Christ, what more could they possibly be checking? Whatever it was, the music was so loud I could barely hear myself think. I started to ask how much longer the sound check would go on – certainly they'd be opening for dinner soon and the boys would have to at least unplug. I never got the chance.

Edward reached down and took my hand, gave it a gentle tug, and stepped away, leading me out into the alley behind the restaurant. It wasn't the most picturesque setting for a conversation. There were dumpsters and cars, boxes and forgotten shopping carts. All around us was the lovely and pervasive aroma of mold, cigarette smoke and rotting garbage. In short, it was an alley like any other.

It was quiet, though, and that was all that mattered.

Edward started pacing when we got outside in the quiet, one hand tugging through his hair as he did so. In deference to my leg, I sat on the steps, thankful for the smoker's awning that kept them dry.

I cleared my throat after his fifth muttering pass in front of me. "At what point should I get worried about this?"

"Worried about what?" Edward asked without stopping.

"The fact you appear to be having a conversation with someone who isn't there?"

That stopped him. He turned to face me and his shoulders slumped.

"What's going on, Edward? Please tell me? You're starting to scare me a little."

Inhale. Exhale. Hooded eyes met mine. "I'm trying to remind myself that what you do...it's a job, just like any other."

I blinked. Now I was really confused. "I've obviously missed something huge here. What does my job have to do with anything?"

"Alice. It was Alice. She was complimenting me for being able to talk with Daniel so easily."

Good God. The way he'd said Daniel's name. I half expected him to spit acid onto the ground afterwards.

"Daniel's a great guy, why wouldn't you be able to talk to him?"

"Because he's had his hands, and mouth, all over your body, apparently."

I was stunned. Absolutely stunned stupid.

This was about our movie? But...that was Lila and Theo. It wasn't Daniel and me. Surely he saw the difference? As I looked up at the anguish on his face, I realized two things. First, that he didn't see the difference at all, and second, that I'd be an idiot if I truly believed he had. The closest this man had come to Hollywood was what he saw in the movie theater or heard from his sister. The actual mechanics of movie making – most especially movie sex – were as alien to him as frostbite to an Amazon.

"Christ, Bella. He's been more intimate with you than I have and I'm..." His words cut off abruptly.

"You're what?"

"Nothing."

"Edward..."

"Bella."

My voice had been leading, his just sounded resigned.

"It's not important right now."

"On the contrary, I think it is. What were you going to say?"

"Can we please focus on one part of my stupidity before we move on?"

I gave in. "All right."

I debated getting up and going to him, taking his hands or touching him in some way. I needed the connection. Since I wasn't sure if it would be accepted or rebuffed, I stayed where I was. My eyes remained fixed on him.

"First of all, Daniel's never been intimate with me. Me. Bella Swan." I put a hand to my chest for emphasis. "Hugs. Cheek kisses. Maybe a peck on the lips once or twice. Nothing different than you'd offer a sibling or close friend. That's the extent of our physical contact, Edward. Anything else was Lila and Theo, our characters."

"Alice...," he began. I cut him off.

"Yes, Alice. Alice is a lovely girl. Truly. And she's been an absolute blessing to me the last three years. I don't know how I'd have made it through without her. However," I held up a hand, "she's never been in front of a camera. She's not an actress, and she doesn't understand what it's like to get into character, to completely immerse yourself in that person's life, feelings, motivations. To truly become that individual."

He was silent, and I smiled. "Bet you thought it was just saying a bunch of lines and making facial expressions at the right times?"

He shook his head. "Nothing quite so pedantic, no. I knew it was hard work."

I shrugged. "For some, that _is_ what it is. They show up, say their lines, move on to the next thing. But they're never very successful, they have short careers in Hollywood, mostly commercials, sometimes they luck into a few movies, and then they disappear into the normal world and aren't heard from again until someone needs to fill an hour on a cable show and they're dragged into a 'Where Are They Now?' piece." I shuddered. My worst nightmare.

"Not for you."

I did reach out to him this time, because having him see that difference in me meant more than any review or accolade I'd ever received. I wasn't sure if he'd accept the gesture or not. Dread bubbled up in the second it took me to reach over…dread that was immediately quashed when his fingers twined with mine.

"No, not for me. When I play a part, I become her. I go into the studio, or location set Bella Swan, laughing and joking and utterly failing at the crossword. When I step into costume and makeup, I transition into her, like a butterfly coming out of chrysalis. For the next few hours, or many hours if it's a long day's shoot, I'm her. Yeah, if things get silly, sometimes I'll break from that shell. But it's never for long. When I'm in character, I'm that woman first, and Bella second. Daniel is very much the same way, it's one of the reasons I truly enjoyed working with him and hope to again someday. That level of professionalism is rare."

I squeezed the hand I held. "So when Theo's hands and mouth were on Lila's body, that's all it was, Edward. At this point, as far away from filming that scene as we are? I'm pretty sure Daniel wouldn't be able to pick me out of a lineup of bare-chested women. I doubt he remembers what the girls look like at all." I finished, indicating my breasts with a sweep of my hand.

I couldn't really tell, the alley was pretty dark, but by the way Edward was looking at his shoes, I was pretty sure he was blushing again. I got up and went over to stand in front of him. "One last thing. When those scenes are filmed, there are about twenty other people in the room. Two of them with cameras right about here." I held my hand a foot away from his face. "And usually one large boom guy, standing just in your frame of vision holding a mic boom in one hand, and jelly donut in the other."

Edward's lips pressed together. The hooded eyes had been replaced by a clearly repressed laugh.

"That's why, right? Why you have to immerse yourself so far into your character?"

I stepped closer. "That's why. Otherwise I'd never be able to look like I was having emotional goodbye-forever-sex while Bob the Boom Guy stares at me with a dribble of strawberry jam down his shirt. If I couldn't block all that out, I'd either start berating the pig, or laugh until I peed in my bodysuit."

"Bodysuit?"

I laughed this time. "For most sex scenes our lower halves are covered up in some way, to keep from inadvertently changing the rating from R to porn. Sometimes adhesive patches are used if the shot requires a bare butt be shown. For that scene with Lila and Theo, Daniel and I were both in a sort of unitard from the waist down."

"Adhesive patches?" It appeared as though his mind was going in the right direction. He winced and shifted his stance slightly. "Sounds like fun."

"Oh, loads. Especially when you've got a new makeup artist and she's heavy handed with the adhesive."

His whole face contorted. "Ouch."

"A friend of mine had that on his last film, full on inadvertent Brazillian bikini wax."

This time, Edward practically doubled over in sympathy pains. When he straightened back up, I could see he was more relaxed, even accepting. "So these are just like any other scenes, just a little more physical. You're in character so you don't, he didn't get..."

I knew where he was going. I also knew I couldn't lie. Not about this. I didn't know if it was possible for us to have any kind of future beyond my time in recovery, but I wasn't about to risk that possible future with a foundation of even the smallest lies.

"He's a guy, Edward. Bodies were together and there was friction. Just like if I'd walked into air conditioning in a wet shirt, I couldn't stop my body's reaction any more than he could. That's all it is, though. Nothing sexual, it's all biological," I stopped, smiled, "and usually deflated seconds after the friction stops."

I was hoping that, as a doctor, he could understand that part, see it for what it was and not just another too-weird thing in my already weird life.

The longest 60 seconds of my life passed as I looked up into Edward's face and he looked down into mine. There were a hundred things he could have said – from incredulity to anger to jealousy to lies. Edward didn't do any of them. He just lowered his head and kissed me.

It wasn't a slow and easy kiss, there was nothing light and teasing when his lips touched mine. It was hungry, marking. It took me back to the first days of our relationship, back when I was still in the hospital. The caveman Edward who rushed to my defense when he thought I was being cheated on, or when that pesky ambulance guy was trying to hit on me. Edward was kissing me like he was staking a claim.

Me Edward, you Bella. Mine mine mine.

And God. Wasn't it just fucking delicious?

I whimpered against his lips, opening my own wider, and he growled in response. His arms tightened around me and pulled me flush against his body. It didn't seem to be enough. His lips vibrated from his frustration and I felt him lift me up off the ground, felt the motion as he carried me up the stairs, felt the steel of the door against my back as he pressed me against it. Pressed his whole body against me. What I felt on my belly was no byproduct of simple friction. It was Edward, wanting me. As much as I wanted him.

I whimpered when he shifted his head to deepen the kiss, then whimpered again when he pulled away. "Am I hurting you?"

"No." I followed the two-letter word with a hand in his hair. "That sound was because you stopped." I pulled his face back to mine, raising up just enough to get at his lips faster.

"Impatient, are you?" He chuckled then and I felt the tension melt out of me.

"Very. In fact..."

I didn't get any further because the door I was being pressed against suddenly pressed back. Once. Twice. Then came a muffled voice.

"I dunno. It's like something's blocking it."

Our eyes met in the dim light of the alley and we both laughed. The voices, while not quite as harsh as a bucket of ice water, were enough to cool our heated blood and remind us where we were. In an alley. After a soft kiss to the tip of my nose, Edward lowered me to my feet and we stepped out of the way. As four musicians trooped past us, lighting cigarettes as they went, I did a quick inventory of my clothing to make sure everything was where it should be.

Then I moved to stand in front of Edward, to help hide what probably shouldn't be there. I felt him kiss the top of my head and whisper his thanks right next to my ear. I shivered and told myself, again, that we couldn't ditch yet.

Daniel and Robbie came out together. Robbie moved quickly down the stairs to join the band. Daniel stopped and faced Edward. I could tell by the look on his face that Alice had told him where we'd gone...and why.

"You can punch me if you'd like."

I felt the rumble of Edward's laugh against my back. "Appreciate it, but not necessary. Bella explained it to me."

Daniel quirked a smile. "Yeah, but she's a bird. What does she understand about the way blokes think? Sometimes it's more satisfying to get at least one shot in."

"You want me to hit you?"

"Not especially."

"Good. I'd rather not, either. Not a masochistic bone in here." He tapped his chest. His hand went out a second later, and all teasing was gone from his face. "Besides, I got off lucky the last time. I'm not risking fucking things up just to rearrange your jaw for you."

"Last time?" Daniel looked confused for a second, then laughed. "Right. Seth told me you decked Jake. Remind me later I owe you a drink for that."

I scowled at Daniel. He ignored me.

"You don't like him?" Edward asked.

"I like him fine. It's just…" Daniel trailed off, hunting up a word to describe my other best friend. A word which was, apparently, eluding him.

Edward laughed again. "There's no word for it, is there?"

"Exactly. But he takes good care of Bella. For that, I put up with it."

They both turned when I cleared my throat. "If the both of you are finished bonding over mutual Jake enmity, I was thinking I'd go in and let Alice know she still has a job."

"Go right ahead," Edward responded, taking my hand and kissing the back of it.

I looked from Daniel to Edward then back again. "Why do I think this is not such a good idea, leaving you two alone?"

The last sound I heard as the door shut behind me was their combined laughter.

After several flamboyant apologies from Alice about sticking her foot in her mouth – all of them running the gambit from offers of resignations to my no longer owing her for being responsible for the loss of morning sex – we settled into our special seating backstage. Dinner was served to us backstage as well, keeping us as out of the public eye as possible. Since I didn't hear anything from the crowd but cheers for the band, it appeared their efforts were successful.

Jasper melded well with the other players and I heard nothing different from the songs that were as familiar to me as my own voice. If anything, the sound seemed a bit richer, earthier. He was a good fit, and by the smile on Robbie's face, he agreed.

However.

As good as the music was, it couldn't compete with my other plans for the evening. Nothing could. My eyes kept drifting to my cell phone every few minutes, waiting for the moment the display lit up with the indication that 60 minutes had passed.

"You're acting all anxious again."

Edward's mouth was right up against my ear so I could hear him over the David Bowie cover. He didn't say anything else. He just kissed the shell of my ear then straightened back in his seat. My groan was lost in the music.

I checked my phone. Twenty more minutes.

I wasn't going to make it.

I wanted out of here. I wanted to be alone with Edward. And every moment he sat by my side, his hand on my good thigh, started to feel more and more like torture. Especially when his hand started moving.

"Are you doing that on purpose?" I asked during one song change.

"Doing what?" His actions belied his words, and his hand moved a fraction of an inch higher, long fingers now between my thighs. Inches from where I really, really needed him. It took everything I had to not take his hand and move it for him. Move it to touch me right here, right now.

"Oh God," I groaned again and squirmed on my seat. I could barely hear the band for the thud of my blood in my ears.

Finally, finally, at very long last, the band announced a break. I popped out of my seat like I had a spring under my ass and practically pulled Edward with me. I'd never felt like this, felt anything close to this. There was lust, I knew that feeling. This was different. Animal. Desperate.

This was one touch away from coming right here, surrounded by my friends.

I managed a hasty wave to Alice and Daniel, a quick kiss to Robbie's cheek, and then I dragged my handsome, shy doctor out the back door. I didn't look back. I'd apologize later.

I didn't speak until we were in the car. Then I looked over at him and muttered the only two words I was capable of. "Drive. Fast."

He put the Volvo in gear and shot off onto the street towards our hotel.

We had checked in earlier in the day, thank God. We hadn't gone up to the actual room – I think we both knew what would have happened if we'd done that. Instead, we'd dropped our bags at the desk and taken the keycard with us.

I don't remember pulling into the parking garage. Or the elevator ride up to the top floor. Or the walk down the corridor to our room.

All I remember is the slam of our hotel room door and the feel of that door on my back.

I wanted to make some pithy comment about Edward and doors and walls. I couldn't manage it. Time spent talking was time without his lips on mine. In other words, time wasted. And he wasn't wasting any time at all. He just took my mouth in a deep kiss, thrust his tongue deep in my mouth, and stole my breath away.

I was right about that one touch. When our tongues touched and our bodies melded together, Edward's thigh pushed between my legs. The pressure of his leg and the hard nub on the seam of my jeans were all the combination my body needed. I came with a small shudder and a gasp swallowed by his expert lips.

Any thought I'd had that my orgasm would have quenched my need turned out to be dead wrong. If anything, I wanted him more than ever. And kissing against this wall wasn't going to do it. I needed him, skin on skin, body on body, and I needed it now.

I'd been the romantic lead in several movies during the course of my career. In every one of them, this would be the time for the love theme to cue up and the montage of artfully edited clothing removal and moving body parts to begin. Maybe even a few sighs and gasps dubbed in later for effect.

But this wasn't Hollywood. This was my life. My real life. And it was so much better.

There was no music other than the rasping of our breath and our movements weren't artful at all. I forgot to unbutton Edward's cuffs, so it took several attempts to get his shirt all the way off. Edward's fingers were shaking too much for him to unbutton mine. And, believe me, ripping the shirt off takes a lot more strength than most normal guys have, unless the material has been pre-ripped by one of the costumers. Getting my jeans off was another lesson in abject frustration. Damned hips.

After too much time, and way more effort than I expected (loose jeans and sweaters for me from now on), we finally made it to the bed. There was a line of abused clothing marking our trail from the door like breadcrumbs. We tumbled onto the elegantly turned down comforter and sheets, sent the chocolates set on the pillow flying, and resumed our frenetic kisses.

I had a vague idea to maybe slow this down, to savor it. Then his lips left mine, trailed down my throat and over the upper curve of my breast. By the time his lips closed over my nipple at last, when his mouth drew the sensitive flesh into his mouth, savoring was out of the question. I was beyond any rational thought. I was a ball of need, lust, want.

My whole world had narrowed down to one word. Now.

I cried out his name, my back arching to get closer to his talented mouth. I begged for more, for completion. I wanted him inside me and made no bones about telling him, practically clawing at his body to get him to do as I asked.

"Are you always so impatient?"

His lips and tongue were still lingering around my breasts, tongue flicking against the nipple between words, lips closing around the tip to suckle, clearly not in any hurry.

I thought about that. Had I been? No, never. But then, I'd never experienced anything like this before, either. Eric hadn't been much for teasing. Hadn't been much for anything….. I locked down that train of thought with double deadbolts and plate steel. Not him. Not here. Not now.

"I. I didn't think I was," I finally admitted. His long fingers were tracing patterns on my stomach, swirling around my navel, "no one's ever tried drive me crazy before."

His fingers stilled, for just a moment, continued their lazy path southward, and stroked where skin met curls.

"Then it's about time that was rectified, don't you think?"

I didn't have a chance to ask what he meant.

It didn't matter.

He showed me instead.

With a slight shift of his body, he moved to settle between my legs. His lips, teeth and tongue never left my skin for any real noticeable amount of time. They just made their way languidly down my body, leaving no expanse unappreciated. Stomach, hip, even my belly button got its share of attention.

All the while he left my core utterly untouched. Not so much as a finger stroke against the place I needed him most. My body writhed under him but it was no good. His chest kept me pinned in place. His torso between my legs kept me from pressing them together to give myself event that bit of relief.

"Edward, please," I whimpered out while his tongue swirled and dipped around and into my navel.

"Please what?" His voice was a whisper against my skin.

"Please touch me."

"I am touching you." Was it my imagination, or did I hear a laugh in his voice?

"No..." I keened into the semi-dark.

"You want me to stop?"

This time I growled. "You'd better damn not."

"I don't understand." His lips were at my hipbone now, tongue laving the skin. "What do you want me to do, Bella?"

"I want you inside me, Edward." I was panting, writhing beneath him, my fingers clutching at the slick skin of his shoulders. "Fingers, cock, anything. Touch me, fuck me. Please. Please. Pl-"

My last was lost on a scream as finally, oh God, finally, I felt two long fingers slip inside me, felt his thumb on my clit, and felt my world shatter on a blinding flash. Fingers, lips, teeth and tongue. Edward was relentless in his efforts, pulling every last gasp and shudder out of me, not stopping until I was close to dead beneath him.

I'd never...never...not like this. The brief burst by the front door I'd expected, and remembered. This? There was no frame of reference, no analogy I could draw save one. Edward as musician and me as his instrument, skillfully coaxing music from my body with his talented fingers. And tongue. Shudders and aftershocks rocked me, my ears stopped ringing, and I felt his lips along my thigh.

My fingers found purchase on his shoulders, tugging at them. Simple need had become vital. I would die, I was sure of it, if I didn't have him inside me soon. Now. Always.

He gave in to my silent request, kissing his way up my body. I shivered when he left me for a moment. I heard the rustling that indicated he was shedding the last of his clothes. There were a few sounds I couldn't identify, but in my blissed out state, I didn't work too hard to figure it out. I just purred my delight when I felt the full weight of him on my body again.

"Edward," I said softly when we were face to face again. "That was…you are…."

Edward raised on his hands. I looked up into his beautiful face, surprised to see the stunned look on his face. "You don't think we're finished, do you?"

Now I was the one confused. Surely all that playtime, meant we were done...or at least, I was and if past experience was my guide, Edward probably was as well. Yeah, it'd been awhile, but from what I remembered, guys just didn't have that kind of stamina.

Right?

Edward's body shifted against me. I felt his cock settle between my legs. His hot, heavy, and still very hard cock. Warmth flooded me as if I wasn't just coming down off the most spectacular orgasm I'd ever felt in my life.

"Fuck me," I muttered in surprise.

"I intend to," Edward grinned in response.

I didn't have time to laugh. His hips raised, his body shifted, and his cock slid inside me inch by glorious fucking inch. God. Just how big was he?

"Christ, Bella." His voice was a harsh whisper against my ear. His body shuddered once as he stilled to let my body adjust. "You're so tight."

"It's been awhile," I answered back in the darkness.

Still as we were, I felt the surge my words caused in his cock and my body responded with an involuntary arch of my hips. We both groaned deeply. This time, I didn't wait, didn't ask. I just raised my good leg, wrapped it around his hips and started moving my own to pull him deeper still into my body.

He followed suit shortly afterwards. At first, his body stayed pressed against mine as his hips slowly thrust against me, matching me motion for motion. It was a delicious rhythm, in out, up down. I felt it in every beat of my heart, every shudder of my nerve endings as his cock filled me, stretched me, as my body molded to his as if they were made to be together.

Our unhurried pace didn't last long. Eventually, need replaced discovery. Lust overrode all. My breathing came in the same halting pants as his did, each breath punctuated with another deep thrust. Edward raised onto his hands, his back bowed until we only touched where our bodies joined. I whimpered in protest until he thrust in and I felt him deeper still.

His pace increased again. I managed to pry my eyelids open enough to look up at him, watching his beautiful face contorting with effort and pleasure. Almost as if he felt my eyes on him, his head lowered, his lids lifted. Our eyes met. Unbelievably, heat flashed over my skin again. Nerve endings I'd written off as dead for the night sprang back to life and need started to throb again at my core. I moaned and bucked my hips again.

"More, more more. Edward, I…."

I couldn't have given name to what I wanted more of, but it didn't matter. Edward knew. He didn't change his pace, he didn't alter the depth of his thrusts. He just rolled his weight to his other arm, skimmed his hand down my stomach, and found my clit again with a single fingertip.

I cried out once when he touched me there, I cried out again when the pressure against my clit came in time with the thrusts of his cock inside me. Over, and over, and over. The impossible pressure returned. Impossible because I wasn't multi-orgasmic. Hell, I was barely orgasmic period.

Impossible or not, my body was right there again, dancing on the knife's edge and begging to fall.

"I can't," I cried.

"You can," he answered back.

Again and again thrust, stroke, thrust, stroke, his voice crooning to me, telling me to let go, let go. "Come for me, my beautiful Bella, come for me."

It seemed forever, a brilliant, exquisite forever, before my body finally went rigid and clenched tight to his. Stars burst behind my closed lids. Not seconds later, his followed suit and thrust once, twice, a third time before he stilled above me. Our cries of pleasure filled the room, the bed shook from our combined trembling. Then slowly, very slowly, we drifted back to earth.

It was a long time before either of us spoke again. Words just didn't seem to matter now.

We lay on our sides, face to face, bodies touching from forehead to toes.

I'd spent most of my adult life surrounded by make believe. But as I lay there with Edward, my Edward, I knew I'd never feel more real than I did right now. I somehow doubted I ever would.

And somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, a part of me started to wonder, to even hope, if there was a way to keep this reality with me for longer than a night, longer than my furlough from the insanity of my life.

On a sigh, I tamped down that impractical thought and purged it from my mind.

Edward stiffened when I sighed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He seemed to not believe me. He reached up a hand and cupped my chin, tilting it up until my eyes met his.

"Didn't sound like a nothing."

"And what did it sound like?"

"Sounded like something entirely too sad for someone who was screaming just a few minutes ago."

I was glad for the darkness that hid my blush and squirmed a hand between our bodies to poke at his ticklish sides. "That's not very gentlemanly of you, bringing up such a thing."

"Funny. I thought you were frustrated with my gentlemanly ways."

"I was. Am. Was. Am. Oh stop grinning at me like that, Edward Cullen."

He laughed with me. "Can't help it. You're too damned adorable when you're all flustered."

A round of soft kisses to every bit of my face he could reach, both of us smiling all the while, didn't deter him from his questions.

"You're not. I mean. You're not having second thoughts, right?"

"Second thoughts?"

Silence. A single nod.

I answered that nod with a kiss to his lips. "No, Edward. Well, not about us anyway. Not about this." I skimmed my hand down his side and over the curve of his ass to make sure he knew just what I meant by _this._

"You're having second thoughts about something else?"

I nodded again and wiggled my body against his. He shivered and gave off a pleasurable moan in return. "I'm thinking I should have made you eat more at dinner."

"Why?"

I leaned in and took his mouth with mine in a long, slow kiss. "Because you're going to need the energy."

A slow, almost wicked grin pulled at the corners of his mouth. "Oh, my sweet Bella. That's what room service is for."

Then he tightened his hold on me and kissed me breathless yet again.

* * *

_Nat King Cole sang it best...aaaat laaaaast..._

_Also – Crash Into Me was nominated for the Faithful Shipper awards for best AH, and I was nominated as best author. No idea who nominated me, but thank you so much! Nominations closed a few days ago (I didn't even know about it until I stumbled onto it last night), but it truly was an honor to be nominated in the company of so many talented writers. Thank you!_


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N – see disclaimer on previous chapters._

_A/N2 – thanks so much for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites. Each one makes me smile so much and truly brightens my day. And yeah, I'm posting the 13th Chapter on Friday the 13th. Insert Twilight Zone music here._

_Also - I always tinker after I get this back from beta - any boo boos belong to me, not Rainpuddle_

* * *

The dream had me again. Given the way I'd spent the night before, I wasn't surprised either.

Dreams of this sort had plagued me in one form or another pretty consistently for the last two weeks, ramping up in direct correlation with the amount of making out we'd done the night before. And the color of my balls afterwards.

I was a little surprised my subconscious even went in this direction, to be honest. Not that I was about to complain. It had served up one of my favorites, me lying prone on the mattress while Bella worked magic over me. My body went to oatmeal as her now-familiar touch slid all over my body, fingers stopping to flick one flat nipple, then the other, before continuing down over my stomach. The muscles there fluttered and tightened at the touch even in sleep.

Bits and pieces of pillow talk from the night before interspersed the deliciously erotic dream.

_Should I apologize for accosting your during the concert?_

_No chance. Accost me anytime._

_Anytime?_

_Within reason. _

_Not an exhibitionist?_

_Not at all. Though I did practically attack you right at that table last night when you…_

_When I what?_

_You know what._

_This?_

_Godyes 'that.' You can do 'that' anytime you want to._

Who knew Bella could purr?

And then, later. Much, much later.

_What are you doing?_

_Picking these up._

_You expecting an inspection later tonight? _

_I just don't like clutter._

_You keep making that face, your face will stick that way. _Pause. Chuckle. _That goes for finger gestures, too. Trust me, I'm a doctor._

_You're a riot, that's what you are. Christ, we made a mess of our clothes._

_Anything salvageable?_

_They're all wearable, just look abused as hell._

_Yeah, well, somehow I got the impression that removing clothes in the heat of passion was a little easier._

_It is._

_Really?_

_Yeah. Especially when you have fifteen people on wardrobe detail to make sure your clothes rip away easily. Great for movies, but gets a little dicey when you try and walk across the set._

_Why?_

_Imagine, oh, I dunno, someone clumsy who trips over a cable, snags said rip-away clothes and…_

…_flashes the whole studio?_

_Something like tha-oh my God._

_What?_

_Smiley face boxers, Edward, really?_

_Joke present from Alice._

_Really._

_Yeah. What? You look like you don't believe me._

_Probably because I don't believe you. There's more to it than that._

_No, there isn't._

_Yes, there is. _

_Bella._

_Edward._

_Fine. I wasn't the only one thrilled about getting alone time with you, all right? Someone else wanted to express his glee, I happily gave him a platform._

_How happy was he?_

_Move your hand an inch to the southwest and you'll find out._

Then we'd fallen back onto the bed, a tangle of laughing, teasing kisses and touches, exploring each other's bodies. Soon after, touches became strokes and giggles turned into sighs and night melded into morning with us wrapped together, lost in each other.

Many of those touches were finding a home in the dream currently taking all of my attention. One would think after a night of near Olympic lovemaking, my mind would have been satisfied and not needed to delve back into dirty dreams.

One would have been wrong. Not only was my unconscious taking center stage, it was going in directions it never had before. The caresses to my over-sensitized body weren't just from fingers, but from lips, too. Soft, wet lips kissing a path of fire down over my chest and belly, and, was that a nose? Yeah, felt like the tip of her nose pressing into the skin next to the fine trail of hair below my navel.

Fuck but it felt good.

Really good.

Too good for _my_ imagination to have conjured it up.

My eyes flew open I realized that this wasn't a dream at all. I looked down my body just in time to see my cock slipping between Bella's lips.

"Holyfuckingshit."

Her laughter rippled along my length and I had to dig my heels into the mattress to keep from exploding straight down her throat.

I tried to think of something, anything, that would keep my body from utter system failure. Cleaning up after Emmett's stomach flu, catching my grandfather unawares as he changed into his bathing suit one vacation, even my old standby of renaming the lymphatic system. All worked to some degree, just enough to keep me under a very tentative control while the rest of me was focused on Bella and her incredibly talented mouth.

Just when I thought the torture couldn't get any more exquisite, Bella's mouth popped off my cock. I had time to draw in one breath, my hand feebly fumbling at her arm in attempt to pull her towards me, then her tongue set to work.

"Ohfuck." It was all I could manage as her tongue licked up my length, held flat against the underside, swirled around the tip. I felt her small, perfect teeth graze over the sensitive lip just under the head and I had to lock my body down to keep from thrusting into her mouth.

My fists were white knuckle-locked onto the bed sheets, my heels dug into the mattress, my mind worked overtime…and none of it mattered. The inevitable approached. Her warm, moist mouth, and the wickedly talented tongue within, was more than I could bear. More than any human male could bear.

I grabbed at her shoulders frantically. I wasn't going to last long, I wasn't even sure I could give voice to the warning. "Bella…Bella, stop…I'm…."

Either she didn't hear me, didn't believe me, or didn't care. The only reaction I got was her lips tightening around my cock and her head bobbing with renewed speed.

My whole body went rigid when orgasm took me…took me and beat me senseless. Moans and cries mixed with her name as pleasure rolled off me in waves so forceful, I shook from them. Through every wave, every spasm, I felt Bella there with me, around me, swallowing from me through the last.

On the fringes of my perception, I felt her lips leave me with a kiss to the very tip, felt her body slink up mine until she was right beside me again, felt her warm, delicate fingers on my chest.

"Good morning."

Long pause while I tried to remember how to speak.

"Understatement of the year."

"Your heart's beating very fast," she commented, her fingertips tracing over my left pectoral.

Weak chuckle. "I wonder why."

She giggled back, squeezing up close to my side, her body half over mine until her chin was resting on my chest, deep brown eyes focused on my face. We stayed that way for a long time, enjoying the quiet and lost in each other. I started to wonder if I'd ever be found.

It didn't even bother me that I didn't care if I was. Right now, lost was a pretty fandamnedtastic place to be.

Her fingers were tracing patterns across my chest. Slow, lazy patterns that were kindling fires and awakening nerve endings in a body that should have been long dead from overuse.

Was I making up for almost two years' celibacy in one night? Possibly. More likely, I was hoarding in case it was suddenly cut off again with no one but my right hand for company. Disquieted by the very idea, that thought got shunted straight out of my mind to be thought about later. Much later.

"You're very quiet," she said, her own voice a whisper.

"Lost in surrealism." I answered after a moment, finding something that hadn't been on my mind in that moment, but was nonetheless true.

"What's so surreal about it?"

There was a sudden tenseness about her. I could feel it in the lithe body pressed to my side, watch it in the fingers that stilled their motions on my skin. I was pretty sure I knew why.

"Are you kidding me?" I answered on a soft laugh. "I was just awakened in the most erotic way possible by a beautiful woman; a fantasy shared, I'm sure, by men the world over. What's _not_ surreal about it would be a better question."

Bella giggled. "You're silly."

Though she didn't come right out and say it, I could tell in the relaxation of her body against mine that she'd been expecting me to make some comment about who she was outside of the little world we'd carved out for ourselves over the last weeks. But that had truly been the furthest thing from my mind. As I'd come to know her, Bella Swan, actress, had been replaced by Bella. Just Bella.

My Bella.

I didn't harbor any illusions that I'd still be calling her that when she returned to her life. I just tried not to think about it; I wanted to enjoy this little bit of paradise before reality blundered in and took it away again.

"You've gone quite again," she said against my ear.

"Unfortunate side effect of being dead."

I felt a light kiss just above my breastbone. "Heart's still beating."

"Fine. Mostly dead then."

Her warm laugher caressed my skin. "You really didn't mind it, then? What I did?"

I spluttered. _Mind?_ I thought.

"Mind?" I said.

She nodded in response, looking adorably shy with a blush creeping across her cheeks, down her throat, even touching her chest. I tipped her chin up. "In case all the moaning and writhing that ended in a screaming orgasm wasn't clear enough, no, I didn't mind in the slightest." I grinned a little wider, adding in a comical eyebrow waggle. "And consider this my blanket invitation for you to repeat the process any time you get the urge."

She laughed and rested her cheek against my chest, I knew, to hide her blushing cheeks from me. I really wish she hadn't. She was adorable when she blushed. I was just about to tip her head up towards mine so I could see it for myself when she spoke and utterly derailed me.

"I've always wanted to do that."

I gulped. Was she serious? "You've never…what? Used oral as an alarm clock or done it in the first place?"

"Either. Both." I felt her shoulders shrug a little. "Tried once."

And wasn't that just a loaded comment.

She rushed on before I could comment. "I thought if I started while you were waking up, maybe—"

I didn't let her finish. Instead I rolled us until my body covered hers. "I don't know what idiot stopped you, or why, Bella, but that's just what he was. An idiot. I consider myself the luckiest man alive that you even wanted to...be close to me that way."

I could see her starting to protest again, so I lowered my head and took her mouth in a long, slow, and very thorough kiss.

I settled back over her body, letting us touch full length, toes to nose, and settling my semi-hard cock into the crook of her thighs. "See what you do to me, Bella? Just talking about it, thinking about your mouth wrapped around me, has me ready for you again."

The truth of my words hit her, my body providing its own undeniable evidence.

"But I didn't know what I was doing."

I rocked my hips against her once. I had the passing urge to find who'd put that idea into her head and practice my right hook again.

"Again, Bella, did I sound or act like I cared about practiced skill?"

She tried to look away but I reached up and held her chin firm; sure enough, the blush bloomed over her cheeks. "No. You, ah, sounded like you were enjoying yourself."

"And I was." I shivered as lust started to heat the blood in my veins again, prompting the blood to vacate my head and drop straight to my lap. "God, was I ever. Skill is one thing, but it doesn't hold a candle to enthusiasm. And yours was damned near intoxicating."

Because my body was starting to make its demands known, especially as every shift of my hips brought my cock in direct contact with the wetness pooling at her core, I dropped down to take her mouth with mine. I groaned when she met my kisses with equal fervor, and whimpered into my mouth when my tongue started to mimic the actions my body was begging to perform.

One kiss turned into two, three, and before she could even register my intent, I pulled the last condom from my wallet, slipped inside her, and took my time making sure she knew just how much I appreciated her attentions from earlier.

Later, when we were lying crossways on the bed, spent and panting for breath, I felt Bella chuckle beneath me.

"Something funny?"

Her mouth twisted. "Not funny, per se."

I waited. In vain, as it turned out. "Bella?"

"Can we order up breakfast?"

I stopped, blinked, tried to figure out if I'd passed out suddenly and missed half the conversation. "Ah. Sure. Just give me a second to recover from my change-of-subject whiplash."

Bella laughed a little, but didn't say anything else. I turned my head to look at her and found her smiling. Sort of. The joy on her face wasn't reflected in her smile. I remembered when the dickhead ambulance driver, Newton, was pestering her in the courtyard.

The smile on her face was just like that one; almost cold enough to elicit a shiver.

Sensing danger on the horizon, I kissed her forehead once before I pulled from her body. Whatever was causing the cold front, I wanted to give her the time, and space she obviously needed. I told her to order whatever she wanted from the room service menu and ducked into the bathroom.

All the while I sent up a barrage of silent pleas, that she wasn't trying to find a way to make a graceful exit now we'd crossed the mythical Line into a sexual relationship.

When I came back out ten minutes later, showered and wrapped in the silk bathrobe supplied by the hotel, Bella was just finishing setting our breakfast on a tray on the bed.

"I, ah, figured you wouldn't mind breakfast in bed," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Bella, the day I mind anything that includes, you, a bed, and coffee, is the day life stops being worth living," I teased back with a smile.

She didn't return it.

Fuck.

Little spikes of fear started poking at my spine as I climbed carefully back onto the bed. I accepted the coffee cup she offered me, pleased when I took the first sip and realized she'd remembered how I took it.

The warmth of the liquid in the mug did nothing to drive away the chill in my hands, or the rest of me. I managed to keep my mouth shut for almost a full 30 seconds of silence before I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Is. Are we."

Godddamn, Edward, just say it.

"This isn't goodbye?" I hated the small note of desperation in my voice; I also knew I didn't have a hope of hiding it.

Bella gasped. I looked up from my intense study of the china pattern on the mug just in time to see her shocked expression.

"What? No! Where the hell did you get that idea?"

Now it was my turn to feel like an idiot. And I would. Just as soon as I stopped feeling relieved.

"Ah, not sure? You just got all quiet and started avoiding my eyes. I thought you were trying to figure out how to make an exit or something."

Bella shook her head. "No, it wasn't anything like that. I just. I have to tell you about something, someone, and it's not exactly a collection of my happiest moments."

The last of the ice shards melted away and I reached over to squeeze her hand. I glanced at the tray and pushed it towards her. "Have some bacon."

"Bacon?" I was relieved to see a little smile.

I nodded and took up a piece, dipped it into a small container of syrup and raised it to her lips. "Unless you're a heart patient, bacon cures everything."

"Professional opinion?"

"Absolutely."

I smiled when she bit into the slice I held out, gratified when the corners of her lips turned up as well – with none of the chill I'd felt earlier. "You're right."

I gave a mock sigh. "Always with the tone of surprise."

She crunched her way through two strips of bacon and a few bites of eggs before she clattered the fork onto the plate. "All right, now I'm just stalling." She took a fortifying slug from her coffee then turned to face me. She looked like Jeanne d'Arc getting ready to charge the British.

She started her explanation in the same way – straight on attack.

Breath in, breath out. "His name was Eric. We met at the premiere of my first big movie. I was tottering around on these stupid heels that were high enough to cause me nosebleeds and he came up and offered me an arm to hold on to. As I'd already stumbled twice, I took it gratefully. We started talking, laughing, hung out together at the after party. He seemed like a great guy, down to earth. It was refreshing after a night of people I didn't know acting like we'd been lifelong friends. He knew who I was, but didn't make a big deal about it, you know?"

I nodded, more because it was expected than because I believed it.

"I'm not going into the nitty gritty of our relationship. Suffice to say at the beginning he was lovely, didn't seem to care about my career taking off, never asked me for introductions or to mention him to directors I was meeting with even though Eric was just starting out, too, as a set dresser. He was working towards becoming a set designer some day. He hated setting props on a set, but did the work without complaint because he knew he had to pay his dues if he hoped to make it to designer."

Another sip of coffee, one more slice of bacon…mainly to keep my hands from white-knuckling it on my mug. I had a very bad feeling about this.

"I thought I was being smart, that I was so lucky. So many people new to Hollywood get sucked in by the sleazy cases. The ones out to use you for their own gain, but I'd been fortunate enough to find Eric. A nice guy in a sea of slime. I was falling in love with him and wasn't I just the smartest girl ever for finding someone who loved me for me?" She gave a short, mirthless laugh that cut me down to the bone. "Famous last words."

"He was so subtle about it, too. I never noticed. If he hung around the set when I was working, it was always with Starbucks and fresh scones and flowers. Always telling me it was because he wanted to be there for me – he made very sure I never saw him cozied up with producers, directors, anyone who could give him a leg up. And because I never saw that, I believed him.

"The only time he was ever...not solicitous towards me was in bed. There he never lost a chance to tell me how subpar I was. He stopped me from doing anything remotely exploratory, always sighing and shaking his head about the hassle of training virgins, and it being such a chore."

Suspicion confirmed. He'd been her first. And an asshole with it. Great. I set down my coffee mug, took hers from her and pulled her into my arms. Her body was so cold. I knew it had little to do with the air temperature and everything to do with the conversation. I slipped open my robe and pulled her closer still, wrapping us both in the silk and letting my body heat leech into hers. It seemed to work because she relaxed against me.

"What happened? To finally end it, I mean?"

"Something very simple. A forgotten prop. I left him at my trailer as usual, thinking everything was perfect, but when I got to the set, I realized I'd left my character's glasses behind. I went to get them…and overheard him and the assistant director talking. About me."

There was another long pause. I knew instinctively that she was hearing whatever the asshole had said over again in her mind. I was grateful, actually, that I couldn't hear them as well. I was already having First Person Shooter fantasies of tracking the dick down and ventilating him.

"It wasn't pleasant, what I heard. Eric was boasting about how perfectly he was playing me, all the contacts he'd made, that I was so naïve I didn't have a clue, that I thought he was interested in me, not what I could do for him." A pause, a shudder. "And other things as well."

"What did you do?" I asked barely concealing my own anger.

"What else could I do?"

I pressed a kiss to her temple. I tried to envision her slinking away, melting into the shadows to lick her wounds and try to figure out what do to next. Somehow, I couldn't make that image fit.

"I walked up to him and kneed his balls into his throat."

A long, silent pause filled the room, only to be replaced by my deep laughter. Now _that_ I could see.

"It went straight horrid from there, yelling and cursing, ugly comments tossed back and forth until finally security escorted him off the set and politely informed him that if he came back, the LAPD would be happy to re-educate him about trespassing."

There was something else, something she was holding back. I could tell by the stiff set of her shoulders.

"Tell me the rest of it, Bella."

I felt her shrug. "There isn't much to say. Jake threatened to beat him up, but I called him off. I think he didn't listen because I do remember seeing Eric a week or so later with what looked like a black eye, but I didn't exactly go over to ask."

She took a deep breath. "Anyway. I boxed up his things from my house and had them delivered to a mutual acquaintance. He left Hollywood a year or so later, unable to find work. Last I heard, he was on the other coast, working on Broadway as a set dresser there."

"You had him, what did you call it, blacklisted?"

Her head shook. "No, he did that on his own. Everyone in Hollywood does their share of manipulations – but when you outright brag about it, people start wondering when that knife's going to get lodged in _their_ back instead."

She stopped. I waited.

"That's it," she said at last.

My turn for the head shake. "The set of your shoulders says differently. There's still something you're not telling me."

A long silence. I didn't break into it. I just waited, fingers stroking softly along the side of her face.

"He said something vile as he was being pulled away by security that stayed with me a lot longer than it ever should have."

"Which was?" I hated pushing her on this, but I learned early in my medical training. A festering wound needs to be drained before it can heal. Leave anything behind and it'll just come back again, most times even worse than it was before.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. "He said that fucking me was like fucking an iceberg, only not quite as warm."

Now I really wanted to kill him. With my bare hands.

"The last thing I heard him say before the set door shut was his suggestion that I see a doctor about my frigidity before I foisted my ineptitude on anyone else."

I couldn't stop myself. I growled.

To my surprise, however, Bella laughed a little, then turned in my arms to face me. "It's why I laughed earlier, remember? When you asked me if something was funny?"

"Yeah...?"I drew the word out, not following.

"Well," her fingers, now warm and soft, fell on my stubbled cheek. "I had just been thinking that he was right after all. I did need to see a doctor, just not the way he intended."

I smiled against her touch. "And in that capacity, I'm happy to continue treating you. And help in any way I can to prove that you're the exact opposite of frigid," I stopped to kiss my way down her throat, "any time you need reassurances."

"You'd do that for me?" Her voice was a breathy sigh against my ear.

"Of course I would. Part of my calling, you know, to help and heal."

Much as I wanted to continue to prove it to her again, my lower body was practically dead from the waist down, utterly incapable of reacting. I settled, instead, for nibbling at her throat and earlobes, explaining in erotic detail what I _would_ do to her when my body recovered.

Since I'd chosen a late check out when I'd made the reservation (I hated having to rush on mornings I didn't have to be at the hospital), we lingered over breakfast, talking about simple things, fun things. The concert the night before, our tour of Seattle. I knew we could have just checked out and continued talking in the car. Knew it, but ignored it. I wasn't in any hurry to get back to Forks, to move Bella back into my mother's house and go back to make out sessions on the couch that left us both frustrated and me with blue balls.

Just the idea of it made me want to take as many opportunities as my poor, abused body would allow, to show her that I was well and capable of living up to every erotic promise I'd made, with interest.

Unfortunately the shower hadn't been one of them. Well, for me anyway. Bella, on the other hand, had clearly not minded my attempts, my very thorough attempts, to help her wash up.

"You're going to flat out kill me yet, Edward Cullen," she said when she flopped naked onto the bed, skin still warm and wet from the shower.

I was standing with my side braced on the doorjamb, trying not to look _too_ smug. "At least you'll die smiling?"

Bella chuckled, a low, deep. "There is that."

We both looked to the nightstand when her cell phone started to vibrate.

"Can you get that for me? I don't think I've got the strength to move my arms."

"And I do?"

"You're closer, and a big strong man with it."

"Pandering to my ego?"

"Damned right. Especially if it means I don't have to move."

I chuckled and ambled my way over to the nightstand. I picked it up and handed it to her.

She met my eyes then closed hers again. "Just read it to me, whatever it is. If the world's not ending, I'm not lifting so much as a finger."

Telling myself that I wasn't invading her privacy if she was right there, telling me to do it, I touched the screen and navigated to her text messages. What I saw there had an eyebrow raising.

"Well?"

"It's from Tracy. Apparently wanting to know why you felt the need to fuck her husband right out from under her nose. Her words, not mine."

Bella turned to look at me, confused. I was pretty sure my expression matched hers. Then her features softened. "Oh crap. Here, let me see it."

She held out the phone and I put it in her hand. She went through the browser to her bookmarks and called up one of the gossip sites I'd seen referenced in my search for more information on Bella's life before she came here.

"Hell. So much for backstage seating. Apparently, someone caught sight of both me, and Daniel, and has now extrapolated that," she paused and I watched her eyes dart back and forth while she read, "oh fabulous. That Daniel fell in love with me while shooting _Shattered_ and has now left his new wife to come be by my side while I recover from my near-death experience. With good food and music."

"Isn't that how everyone recovers from near-death?" I was trying so hard to be as glib about it as she was. In reality, if it'd been me, I'd be on the phone to the publisher, and my lawyer, screaming libel.

"Apparently so." She laughed and texted something back to Tracy before tossing the phone onto the bed. She held her hand out towards me, a frown taking over the smile she'd been wearing seconds before. "Uh oh."

"What now?"

"You. You're wearing The Face. got the Edward-Not-Happy-Frowny-Face on."

"The...?" I couldn't stop the laugh. "The what?"

"The Face. It's Alice's her short hand for what she calls the Edward-Not-Happy-Frowny-Face expression you're wearing right now. So what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," I started, then completely belied my own words and ranted on, "these papers. Websites. Whatever. They do nothing but print made up garbage that calls you, and your peers, all manner of horrible things, yet they're never held accountable for it. Lie after lie after lie and no one does a thing. There is such a thing as libel, you know."

Bella sat up to face me. "Yeah, there is. But for every article you try and fight in court, there are fifteen other sites that get fat over covering the trials. It's kind of an unspoken thing – they print crap, we all know it's crap, and leave them to it. The only time I mind is if they go after my mom. Anything else? I'm just not that worried. I'll log onto my Facebook page later, reiterate that its nonsense, and let that spread around to counter it. Since everyone knows that account is the real me, the websites just look like idiots for posting things wildly inaccurate crap. Damage averted, and no lawyers. It's a win win, really."

I felt her hand on my cheek. "It's really nothing to get worked up over, Edward."

"If you say so," I grumbled.

She laughed. "Besides, you've something else that's much more important that you need to be working on."

"I do?"

Her little giggle pulled a smile onto my face. "You do. You have to figure out how you're going to tell your mother I'm moving out of her guest room."

My heart rate trebled in one breath. "Are you?"

A giggle turned into a feral smile. "I am. If you think I'm going back to sofa frustrations after this little glimpse into paradise, Edward Cullen, you're out of your ever-loving mind."

* * *

_Crash Into Me has been nominated again, for the Sunflower Awards. My Vamp Fic, Nomad, has as well for Best Edward. (Yeah, still not used to that kind of thing at all and I feel kind of skeezy for even bringing it up.) Skeezy or no, the link is on my profile if you want to check the site out and vote for any of the spectacular fiction listed there._


	14. Chapter 14

_Thanks as ever for the reviews, alerts and favorites. You're awesome!_

_Also – I tinker with this when I get it back from beta. Any mistakes are mine, not Pud's._

* * *

~*~*~ Alice

I jumped at the thud behind me.

I didn't turn around, however.

I knew who it was; I'd seen her car maneuver its way down Edward's drive just a few minutes before, felt the foreboding in my stomach with every passing minute.

As I listened to the click of her perfect heels against tile, I could almost hear the theme from_ Jaws_ playing in the background. Or a symphony of violins playing high notes. Beethoven's Fifth. All were about the same, all warning of impending doom.

I kept my back to her until she sighed, because I knew what was coming. I set the magazine I'd been reading down and got up from the chair, turning to face her.

We stared at each other for a full minute.

"Might as well get it off your chest now, Mom. Yell at me before Edward gets home, save him the crap. I owe him that much."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Course you don't. You're not standing there pissed off to the tips of your pumps that Bella's moving in with Edward. I can practically see it seeping out of your pores. I bet you reamed him a new one when he called to tell you. Is that why you're not ranting now, because already gave him shit on the phone?"

Her delicate nose wrinkled. "Language, Mary Alice."

"My language has nothing to do with the fact you're pissed. Fine," I said, raising a hand at the look on her face, "angered. Upset. Miffed. Put out. Any of those soothe your semantic sensibilities?"

She moved past me to the sink, filling the kettle Edward kept for her. "I just don't see the need to be vile or base in my speech. Something I was never able to pass on to you, or make you consider important."

"Nope. Utter and epic failure there. Not that there was ever much of a chance with Em's football friends always hanging around. My vocabulary got colorful right from the start. Good thing, too, or I'd have died of vulgar my first week on a Hollywood back lot."

I watched as she prepared her mug for tea, drizzling honey on the sides as she'd done since I was a kid. "Why is it so upsetting to you, anyway? Edward and Bella. I mean, it's not like they're high schoolers running off together in some mad burst of teen angst. They're both consenting adults with no relationship ties whatsoever. Where's the scandal? Is it the fact they're fu—all right, fine. Having relations?"

"It's just not right, in my mind." She sniffed. "I know it's not a progressive way to think, but I can't stop myself thinking any other way. It's not at all proper, living together without benefit of a serious commitment made."

I couldn't stop my mouth from gaping open in surprise. "Not marriage?"

She sniffed. "I'm not that backwards, Mary Alice. I understand not everyone is in a rush to the altar. But I do think that too many of your generation miss out on the flush of courtship and new love in your haste for the bedroom. I think it's a shame that you're missing out on something so very special and don't even realize it"

"Because you and dad were virgins on your wedding night, right?" I scoffed. Then blinked. Was that a blush, on _Esme's_ cheeks? "Mom! You're blushing!"

"I most certainly am not." Her hands were to her cheeks, though. Almost as if she was trying to rub the blush away.

Why, though? Because they were, or because they weren't? My long-standing curiosity piqued. Was there a chance I was finally about to discover the mystery that had always surrounded my parents' courtship and marriage?

I watched, ever hopeful, while she poured water over honey and tea, then set the kettle back on the stove. "I hear from Phyllis that you've seen her Jasper a few times."

She was changing the subject, a sure sign I was on to something. I tried again.

"No, you don't. You were blushing. About Dad. It's okay, you know, you can tell me. It's not like I'm going to go mouthing off to the boys about private girl things."

I gave her my most encouraging smile. She met it with a blank stare of her own.

I sighed in defeat. Locked down before I could make more than a feeble attempt. "Fine. Message received: your life is none of my business while every detail of mine is _your_ business. Yes. I've been out with Jasper a few times." And he'd left just an hour ago after fucking me blind. I shivered at the memory but kept the comment to myself. Mom had been through enough today.

"I must admit I was a bit disappointed to hear it from her and not from you."

I refused to feel guilt over that…or, at the very least, to let that guilt show on my face.

"Though we've never had that sort of relationship, have we?"

"No, we haven't." Sad, but true.

From the look on her face, she regretted that. "Mom?"

She waved me off. Before I could pursue it, my phone went off. I was going to ignore it and let voicemail do its thing, then Mom nodded at it and walked towards the bay window to look out over Edward's back yard. I took that as tacit permission to take the call.

I was glad she did when I saw the name on caller ID.

"Were your ears burning?"

"Pack a bag, kitten."

What? "What?"

"Pack a bag. You're still on vacation, right?"

"You're giving me a headache, Jasper. Cool the ADD and focus, will you?"

The throaty little chuckle did a number on my nerve endings. Damn but the man's voice was downright lethal.

"Rob's offered me a gig."

"Rob?"

"Yeah, Rob. Robbie Foster? We were at his show last night? That ring a bell or did my mad bed skillz wipe your mind completely?"

"Arrogant jerk. You're not _that _good." He was, but I wasn't about to tell him that. "I know who Robbie is, I've just never heard anyone shorten his name."

"Like I told him, get used to it. Robbie sounds like I'm talking to a toddler in overalls. Anyway, that's so not the point."

"And the point is?"

"The point is that Rob wants me to take over for the asshole who broke his hand full time. Apparently, this isn't the first time he's fucked it up and Rob sacked the little shit. His words, not mine. So now I'm going to finish out the rest of the tour dates with him and I want you with me for as much of that time as I can before you go back to work."

"I can't just…"

"Oh yes you can. I just cleared it with your boss, thanks to Rob handing over his cell phone. She said, and I quote, she doesn't want to see your skinny little butt back in LA until she starts back to work on…whatever movie she's doing next."

That sounded like Bella, all right.

"This is insane, Jasper. We've known each other, what, a week?"

"Twelve days, but who's counting?"

"It's actually been fourteen unless you started counting with the first kiss," I countered.

He laughed. "Just testing. Now get packing. We're leaving at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow, so I thought it would be more beneficial for you to stay with me tonight."

"You did, did you?"

"Mhmm."

I lowered my voice and turned my back to my mother. "Not a thought for a celebratory shag in there?"

"That thought _might_ have occurred."

I giggled. "All right then. Give me a few hours to pack…"

"Hours? What all are you bringing?"

"Not that much. I want to see Bella before I leave, and they're still an hour or so away from Forks."

"Got it. Be there at seven?"

I glanced at the clock. "Perfect. See you then."

There was something left unspoken. For now.

I somehow knew it wouldn't be unspoken for long.

"You're leaving?"

I turned back around and faced my mother. "I am. Jasper's been asked to join a friend's tour schedule, and I'm going with him."

"Just like that, with barely over a week spent together?"

"Yep. Just like that."

I watched as she carefully set the mug down, as if the dregs within had somehow turned to nitroglycerin.

"What will—"

"No." I cut her off before she could even finish. "I will not stand by and listen to the same rant Edward did about what people will think."

"Your father's reputation…"

"Is made of sterling silver as far as the people of this town are concerned, Mom. He's saved too many lives, delivered too many babies for them to think otherwise. Christ, people around here could be shown pictures of him fucking a goat and they'd write it off as somehow medically necessary."

"Mary Alice Cullen!"

"What, it's the truth. Or should I have had Dad making love to the goat rather than fucking it? Is that what offended you?" I knew I was goading her, but I'd had enough with her sanctimonious crap.

Her knuckles were so white on the mug I was amazed she hadn't cracked it. "I forbid you to do this." Her calm tone belied the anger I could feel coming off her; her cheeks were flushed scarlet from it.

"Forbid me? ForBID me? Did we somehow flash back a few years and put me back in my teens? Somehow give you dominion over my life? Nice try, Mother, but you stopped having a say the day I moved out."

"I will not see you fall victim to my mistakes, Alice! Do you hear me? I WILL NOT HAVE IT!"

Her shout echoed in the open kitchen, replaced a second later by the sound of smashing porcelain. We both watched as the tea spread across the floor to mingle with the shards and slivers of her former mug.

I stood where I was, shock pinning my feet to the floor. What the merry fuck had just happened here?

I raised my eyes and sought out my mother. There she stood, as frozen as I was, staring at the mess on the floor. Her shaking fingertips pressed to her lips, her mouth half-gaping, and horror practically leeching from her pores.

"Mom?"

No reaction.

I unstuck one foot, then the other, and crossed the few steps across the kitchen to her side. "Mom?"

"What have I done?" Her voice was a hollow whisper.

I pulled her hands away from her lips, scared to find them ice-cold. I wrapped them in both of mine. "You depleted Edward's mug supply by one, and an ugly one at that?"

Her eyes raised to mine and for a long time, we just stared at each other. A thousand nonsensical words passed in that look as our fingers intertwined with each others. "It truly was ugly as hell, wasn't it? Your brother has no taste whatsoever."

I chuckled, she joined me, and then our arms were around each other and we were crying like lovers on the brink of eternal separation. We sniffled and clutched, the tears ebbed and flowed, until, eventually, we'd cried ourselves dry. The last of our tears sniffled away while she cleaned up the floor and I brewed us more tea.

"What did you mean?" I asked as I handed her a fresh mug. "When you said you didn't want me making your mistakes?"

I thought, for an instant, that she was going to ignore my question, or redirect it again. To my everlasting surprise, she did neither. Instead, she motioned me towards the sitting room and took a seat on the sofa. I sat next to her.

And waited.

"You know how your father and I met."

I nodded. I did know that much. "You worked near the hospital where Dad did his residency. You'd see each other every time he left the hospital, and he kept asking you to dinner. It took a while, but eventually you accepted and a few years later we got Emmett." I was watching her very closely and she looked really uncomfortable. Too uncomfortable for a familiar story we'd all been told since we were old enough to ask.

"That's it, isn't it?" For the first time, I doubted it.

Mom set down her tea and left the room. I was about to protest when she came back a minute later with a bottle of Jack Daniels. She uncapped it and poured a measure into both mugs then set the bottle down. When she picked her tea back up, she tossed back a healthy swallow of it before turning to meet my astonished eyes.

"Uh…Mom?"

"Sorry. I've got to tell you something, and it'll go a little easier with Jack's help."

I wouldn't have been more stunned if she'd sprouted a second head.

"All right…" I said, leery and not a little scared.

"What we've always told you kids about how we met is true. There's just…a little more to it than we made it appear."

"So I'm gathering."

She smiled. "You remember Edward's residency. When he'd call home exhausted after working all night shifts, hoping to get four hours sleep before he had to go back and work another night straight through?"

"Of course. You used to take him dinner just as I was going to bed and I'd always beg until you'd agree to take me with you."

A pause. Another shot of Jack and tea.

"So think back to the story we told you about your dad and I. What do you suppose I did for a living that I was out and about when a young resident came off shift in the middle of the night?"

What the hell did she mean, what she did for a living? I'd always assumed she'd been going to work, that Dad got off shift at dawn or something. If she'd always meant the middle of the night, well, the only people working outside at that time were cops and...

My God.

She nodded in answer to whatever look was on my face and took a deep, fortifying breath.

"I ran away from home when I was sixteen, certain I knew it all. I trusted a boy's dreams and promises of fame and fortune, followed him away from everything I'd known, positive we were going to make it work." I could hear the bitter crawl into her voice. "Then he realized one could live easier than two and I was tossed away like so much trash once we'd reached the city."

"Why didn't you just go home?"

"Because Emmett didn't get all his stubborn from your father?" Her head shook once.

"There was nothing to go home to, not in my mind. Better to make my way alone than go back to the indifference of the woman raising me. I used to wonder sometimes, how different my life would have been if my parents hadn't died. If her sister had cared anything for me rather than seeing me as a chain around her neck. No, I wasn't going home. I decided I'd rather starve on the street than go back to that emotional desert. Problem was, there weren't many ways for a homeless sixteen year old high school dropout to make money in the city. I was teetering on the edge of starvation when I found an employer willing to pay cash without worrying about social security numbers and minors."

She didn't want to say it out loud, I wasn't about to insist on it. Instead, I put down my tea and scooted closer to my mother, twining our hands again.

Mom shrugged. "It wasn't the best life, but it wasn't the worst, either. No drugs, no real abuses to speak of…"

"Except the constant degradation," I countered.

She smiled at me and squeezed my hand. "Yes, except for that, and even that didn't really register at the time. It just was what it was. Theo was the only person that'd given a shit about me since my parents died. He was all right, for what he was and, really, he was all I had. So I stayed with him."

"And Dad?"

Another smile, one that went all the way to her eyes. "Your Dad and I met at the bus stop a block from the hospital. He'd be on his way home, I'd be trying to get one last…well, I'd been about to go off the clock myself."

That startled a laugh out of me. My mother could actually slip into euphemisms while talking about turning tricks? Guess some things just got ingrained over time.

"He'd joke with me instead. Pass the minutes while he waited for the cross-town trying to convince me to get a sandwich, lower-heeled shoes, wool leggings in the winter. Then he started asking me to breakfast, to dinner, to movies. That spooked me, so I ran. Stopped going to that corner."

"Why were you scared? I mean, Dad's a good looking guy, and about as scary as a bowl of Froot Loops."

"I was scared of what he represented. He was normal, upstanding. I was…broken, for all intents. Mentally, if not physically. I didn't think I could be fixed, so I thought it best to just stay away."

"What did Dad do when you stopped showing up at the corner?"

"Nothing right away; not until three days had passed. Then, well. He went a little crazy."

"Daddy? The most level-headed man ever?"

"The very same. He gave up his precious few hours sleep to scour the city looking for me."

"How long did it take him to find you?"

"Two days. He was close to psychotic from worry and lack of sleep by then, but he found me five blocks from the hospital, standing near a different bus stop."

She'd picked her teacup back up and was staring into it. From the faraway smile on her face, I could see she'd left me behind and gone back to that moment from her youth.

I was practically on the edge of my seat. "And then? Come on, Mom. Don't leave me hanging like this."

"And then he caught me up in his arms, gave me a hug, and then yelled at me for the next half hour about stupidity and scaring hell out of him and throwing my life away, and all the things I knew to be true just didn't want to admit to myself. Things were different after that. We'd talk in the mornings at the bus stop, sometimes he'd take me to breakfast before heading home. I told him I wanted more out of life, that I just didn't know how to get there from where I was. It took him a few weeks, but he finally got me to go to a shelter for runaways. Even though I was a few years older than all the other girls there, Carlisle had spoken to the director and they allowed me a room and helped me get my GED. Your dad would come by when he had a rare night off and take me to dinner. The rest is just as you know it."

I thought about that while she sipped at her tea. What had we been told? That Mom and Dad met during his residency, that he'd courted her over several months while she finished school, then he'd asked her to marry him and come with him to start a new life in Seattle. All true, but they'd left us to fill in our own assumptions – we all thought Mom had been finishing college, not getting her GED.

"Hang on," I protested. "You were finishing college. You have a degree."

My mom laughed. Again. Swear to God I'd never heard the woman laugh so much in one afternoon. Ever. She reached over and patted my cheek. "Yes, I do. Took me three years to get it, taking classes over the summer sessions as well while your father started his practice. Tell me, did you ever look at the _year_ that diploma was issued?"

My mouth gaped a bit; no, I hadn't looked. Mom patted my hand. "Of course you didn't. But you wouldn't. To you, we came just as you've always known us, it's hard to see your parents as having lives before you were a part of them. Next time you're at the house, go look at it in the study. You'll notice that it was the year before Emmet was born. I was actually pregnant with him during my last finals. No small feat there."

I let all of it filter in while Mom refreshed our tea and scrounged up a few cookies in Edward's pantry. It was a lot to take in. My mother had always been a mystery, deflecting questions about her past with questions to us about our present. And, to be honest, we'd never pushed too hard. Mom was nothing if not a hardass at times. If Esme didn't want to talk about it, it wasn't discussed. Period. End of sentence. Move on.

"Can I ask you something?" I waited until she was seated back next to me before I spoke.

"Of course," she said on a light laugh, "I think my days of skirting the past are over, though I'd like you to let me tell the boys in my own way."

"You'd probably better. They wouldn't believe me anyway."

"So, what's your question?"

"Why did my leaving with Jasper bring all this up? I mean, I'm much older than you were, and I've been living successfully on my own for years. Why didn't this happen when I first went out to Hollywood?"

"You think it didn't?"

I was gaping again. I must've looked like a fish.

"I'll grant you, it wasn't quite as severe. You had your degree already as well as a job lined up, and I knew you'd saved enough to provide for yourself. I also knew that if anything happened, you'd call your brothers and they'd be there on the next flight."

She was right in all of it, and it stung just a little that we both knew I wouldn't have called her.

"And now?"

"And now, it was just a little too close to home – seeing you up and take off with a young man you've just met. On the heels of Edward moving Bella in here? I think both combined to break me just enough, in just the right way, to crack the shell I've worn since we moved from Chicago."

"Why, though?"

"Why what?"

"Why even wear the shell? You overcame so much, Mom. You should be proud of what you did."

"Maybe in today's world that's right, sweetheart, but thirty years ago, life was just a little different. Back then people weren't very forgiving of anything different at all. I vowed when we moved here to never give anyone reason to question that I belonged, that there was anything sketchy in my past whatsoever. Your father bucked all convention for me, I wasn't about to repay him by having that come back to haunt either of us."

One final puzzle piece into place; why she'd always cared so much about appearances.

"Well, I think you should be shouting it from the rooftops, Mom. You've been hiding your amazing under a blanket for much too long."

Then I did something I hadn't done in years, not since I'd hit that first dash of adolescent rebellion. I wrapped my arms around my mother and hugged her tight.

* * *

We continued talking while she helped me pack. I wormed more details out of her about her life before, and after, Dad. She asked me about Jasper and Hollywood, and Bella and Edward.

"Is she really good for him, Alice?"

"If she wasn't, Mom, I'd have convinced her to go back to LA for her convalescence. I don't know how to explain it, but it's not just that she's good for him. He's good for her. They just…they work somehow. God knows he's smiling more now than he has in the past…"

"…decade?" Mom finished.

I laughed. "Close to it. I still don't know what Amalie did to him, but it stole light right out of him, didn't she. Little bitch."

"You don't know either?" Mom sighed.

"No," I said, shaking my head for emphasis, "and not for lack of pestering, either."

"Damn. I was so hoping he had told you. He's never said more than a word about it to your father or me. Just a phone call that the wedding was off and nothing more said about it."

"Maybe Emmett knows?"

"Probably. Easier to get blood out of a stone, though, than to get a secret from between brothers."

I thought of how many times I'd tried to figure out just how they got out of meeting Mom's friend's children. "Isn't that just the sickening truth?"

"What's a sickening truth? And who's been drinking my Jack?"

We both turned at the sound of Edward's voice.

My brother stood in the doorway, arms crossed at the chest, but a twinkle in his eyes I hadn't seen in...forever?

Mom and I turned to look at each other, clearly thinking the same thing. As far as changes went, the one Bella was obviously having on Edward was nothing short of miraculous. Yeah, my brother had been smiling a lot more lately and recovering some of the light his former fiancée had stolen from him…but the Edward before us now was so light he was almost blinding.

"Hi, Edward. Bella. Have a good time in Seattle?"

Mom snorted softly. I knew I couldn't look at her. Knew it, but looked anyway. As soon as we looked at each other, we dissolved into boozy giggles. I hadn't realized until just that moment how laced our tea was, but it was enough to have us both on the fun side of tipsy.

Edward looked like he'd just taken a sledgehammer to the gut.

"Everything all right in here?" Bella asked as she entered, looking from one face to the other, her expression growing even more confused.

"Just fine, boss. Mom and I were having some special tea and it went straight to our heads."

"I can see that. Any particular reason?"

"Nope," I said with a wink to my mother. "Just seemed a good idea at the time."

"I certainly hope you're not planning on driving over to Jasper's?" Bella clearly still confused, but not about to press it at the moment.

"No, he's picking me up here in," I glanced at the clock, "half an hour or so. Fuck, I'd better finish getting my crap together."

I saw Edward look at Mom and wince, waiting for her to cut loose on me for swearing. His jaw dropped when she did no such thing.

"I think I should be going, too." Mom said, from where'd been sitting on the edge of my bed, folding shirts into my suitcase. She rose onto her feet, wobbled for a second, then sank back down again. "Or not."

Edward had the sledgehammer look again. "Ah. Maybe you should lie down for a bit, Mom?"

"I think you're right, darling. Thank you." She turned to me and patted my cheek, leaning in to kiss my forehead. "Call me tomorrow when you get to where you're staying?"

"I will. Promise. And give Dad a hug for me tonight, okay? Tell him I think he's fucking fabulous."

The mother that had arrived at Edward's house ninety minutes ago would have been shocked and appalled. The newer, less guarded one, just laughed and kissed me again. "I'll do that."

She turned to Bella with a similar cheek kiss. "Bella, darling, I've brought your case. I believe it's down in the kitchen still. If I've left anything behind, please just give me a call and I'll bring it over." She reached up and held a hand to Bella's cheek. "Thank you. For putting the light back in my son's eyes."

"Ah, you're welcome," Bella answered, her cheeks heating in a blush.

Mom left the room without another word. Edward waited until the door closed down the hall behind her.

"Who the hell was that and what have you done with my mother?"

I slapped at his arm. "That's nice, innit? She packs all your girlfriend's things, gives you both her blessing and you thank her by thinking she's, what, some sort of pod person?"

"You mean she isn't? Alice, that is _not_ the same woman that tore a verbal strip off my hide when I told her Bella was moving in not," he stopped and checked his watch, "not three hours ago. Setting even that aside, she's buzzing, which means she's been at the Jack for awhile. I've never seen her have more than a single glass of wine with dinner. Ever. Not in 33 years. Should I even mention that Mrs. What-Will-People-Think had absolutely no reaction whatsoever about you either swearing _or_ going off with Jasper?"

I smiled. "Well, she did have a problem with that, as it turned out." I let that comment hang.

"And...?" Edward prompted.

"And you're just going to have to find out on your own, I'm afraid. Mom's asked me not to say anything about it."

Edward glared. "Alice…"

"Am I too late?"

The sound of my eldest brother's voice broke our staring contest. At the same time, his words set off several alarm bells in my head. I turned towards him. "Late for what?"

"Hiya, Hollywood," Em grinned at Bella. She groaned in response. "You're looking thoroughly—" Edward thumped him on the back of his head. "You look good."

"Thanks," Bella replied, tongue in cheek.

"Watch it," Edward muttered.

Em's unapologetic smile stayed firmly in place. "Did that little punk show up yet?"

My eyes narrowed. "What little punk?"

"The one that thinks he's taking my baby sister away on some sort of tour of the West Coast's dive bars while defiling her at every turn."

The last bit of Jack burned right out of my bloodstream over that. I might have actually growled.

"Subtle, Em."

Before I could strike, though, Edward grabbed Em's upper arm and pulled him bodily from the room. His trailing comment of "What? You're the one called him a punkass..." left in his wake.

"Fucking interfering, overprotective, asshats!" I picked up a decorative pillow and threw it at the door. There wasn't any satisfying sound of impact, but the effort of throwing it had burned off some of the anger.

My mutterings went on as I finished my packing and slammed closed the two suitcases I'd brought with me. Both of my bothers got several colorful new nicknames as I worked through my rage, all the while keeping my ears tuned for the doorbell. I was determined to save Jasper the hell of prolonged exposure to the asshats.

Bella, silent through most of this, handed me my laptop tackle box which she'd obviously packed for me. She smiled. "I know what you carry in there, figured I could do that much."

"Bella."

She smiled. "Relax. I might not have brothers, but I've got Jake. And that's close enough."

I laughed. "Point to you. He really can be an interfering old woman sometimes, can't he?"

"You have no idea."

I took a close look at my boss then, my eyes clear of both anger and Jack. I noticed the haphazard way she'd pulled her hair up, noted the faint whisker burn on her cheeks and throat. And the radiant smile that matched the one asshat brother had been wearing just a few minutes ago.

"I don't need to ask if he's treating you right, do I?"

She gave a slow shake of her head. "No, you don't. He's been. He's. Well, yeah."

I couldn't help the smile. Bella wasn't one to stammer like this. Ever. "That good, huh?"

She laughed. "Good God, yes. I'm still surprised I could walk this mor—"

My hand shot up faster than the class snitch when the teacher returned. "Nope. You get to stop right there, boss lady. If we're going to continue any sort of working relationship, it's not ever going to include any mention of what you do with my brother's boy bits."

"Boy bits?"

"I can't say penis and Edward in the same sentence. It's just weird."

"Can I talk about his hands then?"

I shuddered. "Only if you're referring to his skills as a doctor, a piano player, or his penmanship."

"You're a real buzz kill, Alice Cullen."

"I'm trying to keep my sanity, Miss Swan. All I really need to know is if he's treating you well."

"He is, promise."

Bella bit her lip then, a sure sign she was either trying to figure out what to say, or whether to say it at all. I knew her well enough to wait for her to figure it out on her own.

"I. I told him about Eric."

My jaw unhinged a little. Bella didn't tell anyone that story. I didn't even think Jake knew more than the basics. Hell, I only knew as much as I did because I'd heard it at the bottom of a wine bottle one night about a year after I'd gone to work for Bella.

I immediately went to her side and took her hands. "How'd that go?"

She smiled. "He looked like he wanted Eric's head on a pike."

"He would. You know. If he asked, I'm sure Em would help. You could put it in the front of your house, right by the mailbox."

"Tempting, but no. He can live his crappy little life in New York, free to believe the reason his sex life sucks is because of the skanks he's taking to bed."

I asked, even though I knew I was going to regret it. "Know better now, do you?"

Bella's eyes closed and she shivered once. "Do I ever."

"All right then. Let's stop that train of thought now bef—did you hear that?"

She frowned and gave her head a shake, probably trying to clear out whatever sordid daydreams had take over. "Hear what?"

It happened again; the sound of laughing voices drifted up from downstairs.

Three laughing voices.

Bella looked at me. "Seems we missed the doorbell ringing."

It took me all of a nanosecond to process what she'd said. "Oh, no they did NOT."

My boss giggled. "Seems they did."

I was out of there a second later. "Emmett and Edward Cullen. You're both fucking dead men!"

I made it to the kitchen in record time, running so fast I barely remember my feet hitting the polished wood of the staircase. I do remember when I hit the ceramic tile in the kitchen, however, because I suddenly had traction enough in my stocking feet to propel myself towards my brothers, ready to kill.

A strong arm around my midsection waylaid me. "What's the hurry, kitten?"

"Kitten?" Edward asked.

"Mmmhmm," Jasper responded on a chuckle. "Fitting for her. She's soft and cute, and makes the best noises when you pet her."

"Hey!" Emmett boomed. "Still in the room, here. What, you forget the deal already? Don't make me start to doubt your smarts, boy. Remember. You're still on the trial plan."

I stiffened with every word, looking between my brothers and my…and Jasper. "What deal?"

"The punk here agrees to treat you with respect and admiration, to never, ever make you cry and to allow us to keep believing he never does anything but kiss you on the cheek and shake your hand at the end of the date."

"And in return?"

"He gets to keep breathing unassisted and eating solid foods."

The growl started low in my belly and bubbled slowly upwards. Jasper's hand rubbing along the length of my spine did nothing to stop it. "You…interfering, insufferable…"

"Allie, it's fine. It's no more than I'd expect from older bro—"

"No, it's not fine, Jasper." I extricated myself from his arms and walked over to Emmett and Edward, poking each in the chest. "You two need to keep your goddamned noses right out of my business. Starting five minutes ago. I'm perfectly capable of looking after my own interests, thank you very much, and handling my own problems if they arise.

"And you," I whirled on Jasper, stalking back over to where he stood. "You had better not have agreed to any such thing."

"Afraid to say I did, darlin'."

Damn the man anyway for making my heart skip a few beats in spite of my pique.

He crossed the distance and kissed my cheek with a chuckle. His voice was low and for my ears only. "I also told them that their threats didn't scare me."

"Why?" I matched his low tone.

"Because if I ever hurt you or made you cry, you'd make sure there weren't any pieces of me left behind big enough for them to do anything with."

I did a quick imitation of a guppy out of its bowl.

"I know you better than you think, kitten. I also know I'd crawl over crushed glass before I ever knowingly caused you pain."

Then my head shook and my anger left me in a rush..and left something altogether different in its wake. "You're going to make me fall in love with you if you keep that up, Whitlock."

"That's the current plan."

And then, Jasper cupped my face in his hands and broke his word to my brothers in spectacular fashion

* * *

_Reviews are awesome. Just sayin'._


	15. Chapter 15

_Thanks as ever for the reviews, alerts and favorites. You're awesome! Thanks also for giving me the most reviews for a single chapter ever last time. _

_Also – I tinker with this when I get it back from beta. Any mistakes are mine, not Pud's._

* * *

"Bella? It's Jake. We might have a little problem."

I my hand froze in mid-air, tea from the teabag drizzling back into my mug as Jake's words registered. I lowered the bag into the liquid and closed my eyes. "What sort of problem?"

"How's your wrist?"

I looked at the scaled, thin thing that had just been released from its plaster jail the day before. "Looks like they always do before atrophy reverses, but the cast is gone. Nothing I haven't dealt with before. So what's the problem?"

"And the leg?"

"It's fine, but, like me, its getting ticked off that its manager is avoiding the questions I'm asking."

I heard him sigh. "Fine, then. Make me blurt it out. I was trying to be sensitive, Bells."

"Well, stop. It's pissing me off. Just spit it out."

"How soon can you be in LA?"

I let out the breath I'd been holding.

The past few weeks, (22 days, five hours, but who's counting?), Edward and I had fallen into something dangerously close to a routine. Days at work for both of us, him at the hospital, me doing my therapy and well as reading through/notating my next script, answering the packets of fan mail Jake sent to me every few days, or messing around on the computer or Edward's XBox.

Our evenings were spent much the way they'd been while I'd stayed at his mother's house, only this time the sofa make out sessions didn't end with anything other than stupid, sated grins on both our faces. Sometimes we even made it upstairs.

Sometimes upstairs was round two.

I kept in touch with Alice, who was having the time of her life on the road with Jasper, and watched Edward's entire relationship with his mother change. I still don't know what happened – either between her and Alice or her and Edward. All I did know was that he came back from lunch with her the first Saturday after we came back from Seattle looking a little red-rimmed around the eyes, but happy at the same time. I hadn't questioned him about it. I knew well enough that there were some things you just couldn't put easily into words. And I knew he'd tell me when, or if, he could.

The end result was a closer bond with his mother. Who was I to question how it'd come about?

Through it all, through every morning I'd had to push him out of bed when he wanted nothing more to stay there with me; through every night we lay side by side, eyes on the other, fighting sleep because it meant another day passed, there was the little pocket of dread around us. Like a cold spot in a warm room.

Time passing was a bad thing. Because each day that slipped past us brought my departure closer and neither of us wanted to talk, or even _think_ about it.

Then, in just a few words, Jake managed to not only name the big pink elephant in the room, but make it trumpet in glee.

I mentally shot it the finger.

"Bella? You there?"

I sighed. "Yeah, Jake. I'm here. Sorry. Takes me a while to get back on my feet when you pull the rug out from under me."

"I know, Bells, and I'm sorry about this, I really am. I even balked at first. Until they let me listen to the track to show me just how necessary it was. Remember that freak wind storm, during the parting scene?"

"Like I could forget? I was half positive I was going to be flying like Piglet at any second and take a little swim in the Pacific."

"Right. Well. They thought they had the white noise out of the audio track, but they were wrong. You can barely hear a word of the dialogue. They need you and Daniel both back in studio for dubbing."

I groaned.

"I told them that you're on much needed R&R time, and they're fine with you going to a studio there in Seattle. They can link it all up, cost you an afternoon, tops."

My head was shaking before he was finished. "Not if Daniel has to do his lines, too. The timing's harder to get right if we're not together." I sighed. "And the movie's too important to me to fuck that scene up because I don't want to face facts. It's not a long flight," I paused, so I was sure to have his complete attention, "and I'm coming straight back up here when it's finished."

"When what's finished?"

I whipped my head up and pressed a hand to my chest. "You scared hell out of me, Cullen."

"You should pay more attention, Swan," he countered with a swat to my backside and a grin on his lips.

"Pig."

"Diva."

My eyes narrowed and he laughed as he kissed me.

"Hello?"

I laughed at Jake's voice in my ear. "Sorry. Unavoidable interruption."

"Sure it was. I hate it when a pair of lips attacks out of nowhere."

"I'm telling Seth you said that."

"I'll deny it."

My eyes were pinned to Edward's guarded face. I reached out to take his hand, his fingers laced with mine. "I'll call back in 30, okay?"

"You know, Bella. One thing to consider…there's no reason Dr. Gorgeous over there can't come with you."

With that comment dangling in the air, Jake hung up. He didn't even give me time to sputter a response. And now here I stood with that idea poking at my brain and Edward staring at me in concerned confusion.

I stared back as the questions whirled in my mind. Not a question of _could_ he, that wasn't even an issue. I'd move mountains to make sure he could. The real question was _would_ he?

"Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like whatever's going on in your head?"

I deliberately let my eyes travel over his body then back to his face. "I'm fairly sure you'd like what's in _my_ head. It's what's in Jake's that you're not going to like."

His Grecian nose pulled into the most adorable wrinkle. "I usually don't, but that's not news." At my look, he continued. "Tell me what's going on."

I picked my tea to warm my clammy hands. Then put it back down again as it'd gone stone cold. Knowing my impulsive need to fidget, Edward stepped in and took my hands. His eyes repeated what he'd said. Just tell me.

"Jake needs me back in Los Angeles."

My heart fell as I watched his face mimic what I'd probably looked like when Jake first called. The hands holding mine tightened.

"Already?"

I tugged on our joined hands and pulled him closer. "Just for a day, a long weekend tops." His arms came around me automatically, and I settled against his chest. I closed my eyes, breathing him in. And I blurted it out. "You could come with me."

The hand that had been rubbing along my spine stopped just between my shoulder blades.

"What?"

"You could. I mean, only if you wanted to, if you could get away from the hospital again."

I heard the increase in his heart rate as it beat beneath my ear which told me he was at least considering it.

"I can't."

Or not.

"I can't just drop everything and fly to California."

"Can't or won't?" I asked.

"Can't. I mean, those things take planning, right? Airfares are sky high when you travel at the last minute."

"They can be, I think. I'm not really sure. I haven't booked a flight anywhere before."

Edward looked skeptical.

"I haven't. When I travel, the arrangements are usually made for me, either by Jake's group or the studio. Then they tell Alice where I'm supposed to be and she makes sure I am." I winced. "And that sounded arrogant as hell, didn't it?"

Edward's chest rumbled with his laughter. "It did, until you got all wigged out about it."

"I did not get wigged out."

"Yeah, you did. You made your face."

"I did not."

"Yeah, you did. Your nose got all wrinkled, too"

"And how would you know?"

"Your reflection in the window."

I opened my eyes and looked straight ahead. Sure enough, the window reflected us back almost as clear as a mirror. He gave me a cheeky little wave. I pulled back and swatted at his chest. "You're funny."

"I am. Dropping plaster and scalpel for a mic and taking my comedy on the road." He did a rim shot impression and winked at me.

I sighed. "We're doing it again."

"I know." I could tell he wanted to deny it, or, at the very least, to continue the deflection. It had become too easy to let the conversation drift off onto tangents over the last few weeks. Any time we veered anywhere close to California, my career, the future, we detoured into some safer, calmer waters.

And the elephant just got bigger and bigger.

"Will you think about it? Coming with me?"

"When are you going?"

"Not sure. You came home before Jake could give me the details. All I know is that it's probably soon. Studios aren't known for their patience. Usually by the time they call asking for reshoots or dubbing like this, they're wishing it had taken place last week."

Edward was quiet, his face stoic.

"What are you thinking?"

The quiet lingered even as his body started to rock with mine, back and forth in the dance of high schoolers looking for nothing more than an excuse to hold each other.

"I'm thinking of how I can rearrange appointments to swing a few days away." He paused, his arms tightened. "I've got a sudden need to see Mickey Mouse."

I froze. My eyes went to his. His smile was nearly ear to ear. "Mickey Mouse, huh?"

"Mmmhmm. I think everyone should see the mouse before they die."

My arms tightened around him. "Anything else you wanted to see while you're there?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On if I can get a reliable map of the stars' homes."

"That's not as easy as it sounds. Lots of fakes out there."

He sighed. "I was afraid of that. If only there was some way to avoid the tourist scams."

"I might be able to help there. I know where a few of them live."

He leaned in and started kissing along my throat. "Really? You'd do that for me?"

I felt his tongue against my skin and shivered. "I-I would."

"It'd have to be real stars, you know," he instructed back, his voice an octave lower as he pulled my T-shirt to the side to kiss along my collarbone. "Not some B-movie hacks."

"N-no p-problem." His hands had skimmed under my shirt now, long, deft fingers playing against my belly and back.

"Something wrong?"

"Wh-why would you a-ask th-that?"

He was reveling in my bra-less state, both breasts filling his hands, thumbs over my nipples as they peaked in response. "You're stuttering, Bella."

The chuckle in his voice irked the stutter right out of me. Of course I was stuttering. With him driving me this side of crazy with his lips and hands, how could I not be? It was all right, though. Two could play at that game, and I wasn't in the mood to be subtle about it.

"Wonder why," I said, voice steady. His thumbs paused just long enough for me to recognize that he'd heard the difference. I took that second's pause to attack, darting in towards his slacks and the tent he was currently pitching there. I flipped my wrist so the flat of my hand touched as much of his straining cock as I could. My fingers wrapped around him and squeezed lightly.

"B-Bella," he answered on a near desperate groan.

"Now who's stuttering?" I responded with a slow stroke through gabardine.

"C-can you bl-blame me?"

I pulled back to give him a wicked smile...just as my other hand started undoing his belt. "Nope." I popped the button on his pants.

"What...?"

He didn't have time to finish the question. By the time I pulled the zipper down, the weight of his belt teamed up with gravity and his pants hit the floor with a thud. Edward's slim hips provided no resistance at all.

Besides, when my fingers slipped inside his boxers and took him firmly in hand, I was pretty sure he'd answered his own question about what I was doing. By the way his head was thrown back and the sounds he was making, I was also fairly sure he didn't mind it, either. His hands were still busy on my breasts, still thumbing and tweaking my nipples to pleasurable peaks as my desire rose to fever pitch; arching my back to get closer to him just as his hips kept pumping towards me.

"Bella..."

"Mmm?"

One hand left my breast and slipped inside the elastic of my yoga pants. He didn't pass Go, he didn't collect $200, he just slid two long, sure fingers straight inside me.

My whole body bucked in pleasure. "Fucking hell!"

He chuckled. "Like that, don't you?"

I tightened my inner muscles around his fingers. "You know I do."

"Should we...?" He finished his question by jerking his head towards the stairs.

I frowned. That would mean I had to stop touching him, that he'd have to stop the exquisite torture his fingers were wreaking inside me.

Edward seemed read my mind, or at least my expression.

"Maybe not," he said simply.

This time I was the one confused. "What—?"

Just as before, there was no time to even phrase the question. Edward made his meaning quite clear without it. He pulled his fingers from me, yanked down my yoga pants, and lifted me off the floor. He set my butt on the counter and looked at me, his green eyes obscured by his dilated pupils.

"Edward..." I breathed, my tone half sigh, half plea. The pain from wanting him, any part of him, joined with me was making me tremble.

Thankfully, he wasn't a cruel man. A second after his boxers hit the floor, he gave in to my plea and left us both breathless.

* * *

It was a very playful, and productive, two hours before I even _thought_ about getting back to my agent.

"I don't want to know why it took you two hours to call me back," Jake said when he picked up.

"Hello to you, too," I laughed.

"God. I especially don't want to know with that sound in your voice."

"What sound?"

"Bella, you're practically purring."

I looked over at Edward who could hear every word since I had my cell on speaker. "Stop looking so damned smug," I cautioned.

"Can't. Involuntary muscle response," he responded blithely.

"God, I love it when you talk all doctor-y," I teased.

"Hello? Anyone remember me? The poor agent who does NOT want to be haunted forever by the sounds of his almost-sister getting laid?"

"Classy, Jake. You don't have to worry, though. Even Edward couldn't go three times in an ho-"

"La la la la not listening la la la."

Edward, laughing with us, leaned over to peck at my lips. "Put the man out of his misery, baby."

I knew it was the opposite of progressive, but my insides liquefied when he called me baby. I knew it, and I couldn't have cared less.

"Yes, please do. I've had to start screening calls because David is now calling me personally to find out when to schedule the studio time."

"That impatient?"

"No, he passed impatient an hour ago. He's gone straight to desperate."

_David_? Edward mouthed to me.

_Director_. I mouthed back.

He nodded and I looked back at the phone. "All right, all right. How does Friday look for the studio time?"

"Friday's fine," Jake answered, too quickly.

"That was quick. Don't you need to check with someone?"

"Nope. They said they'll work with whatever day suits you both and Daniel's free all week, so you'd have gotten the same answer no matter what day you said," Jake admitted. "I'll call over there as soon as we hang up and get things in motion since Shortie's still off playing groupie. Ah...how many tickets should I tell them?"

I looked at Edward, he smiled back before answering Jake. "Two."

* * *

The run up to our flight to LA was uneventful. Edward worked as usual, arranging others in the orthopedic department to cover for him both in office hours and rounds. Thankfully, Fridays were surgery days – no office appointments scheduled. Doubly thankfully, his only planned surgery for Friday had already been rescheduled for the next week by the patient. It wasn't until he'd checked that that he'd agreed to come along with me.

"People rearrange their lives enough for surgeries like this, they don't need it put off at a doctor's whim," he'd explained, almost as if I'd been about to protest.

I'd laughed instead and kissed his cheek. "If you're expecting me to complain, Edward, you'll have a wait. I'm too busy over her being all impressed that I found a doctor with integrity."

Just as I'd hoped, he'd blushed. And that's why it'd taken us two hours to get back to Jake that evening.

I'd had my own things to get in order, too. I'd had to convince Alice that she was not, under any circumstances, to leave Salt Lake City and fly home as well. I'd heard Jasper in the back ground calling out that he'd known I was going to say that. She'd continued to sputter protests that I wouldn't be able to find my way out of the driveway without her there. I'd told her, rather loudly, to shut up and go bang her bassist. Next thing I knew, I had Jasper's voice in my ear "I knew I liked you, Swan. She'll talk to you when vacation's over."

I hadn't heard from her since and had the distinct feeling that Jasper had stolen her cell phone. Good. She needed the break as much as I did.

It'd be a test for me, this trip without her. Despite my protestations to her, I really had come to rely on her a lot and I wasn't too sure she wasn't right about the whole driveway thing. Reliance or not, I was about to go through my trial by fire. When word spread of my brief trip into town, meetings had sprung up like weeds in an ill-tended garden. For the first time since I'd hired her, it would be just me and my mobile phone's calendar against the world.

Meetings and obligations not withstanding, there was only one downside to the whole trip. Due to scheduling, we were flying out Friday morning. Very, very early on Friday morning. Way early. Too fucking early.

Ass-crack of dawn, zombie- walk-through-the-airport early.

We'd stumbled sleepily into the car that had arrived to take us to the airport for the puddle jumper from Port Angeles to Seattle. I hadn't been much more awake as Edward led me off that plane and into the First class lounge to wait for our flight to LA to board. There we were finally able to get some caffeine into our bloodstreams and that helped chase the last of the early morning sleepies away. It was as close to heaven as you could get at 6:00 am, I thought. A mug of coffee in one hand and a warm, good looking man acting as pillow by my side.

"Miss Swan?"

I smiled up at the attendant, willing the caffeine to wake up my brain. "Mmmhmm?"

"General boarding is over, so we can head to the age now, if you'd like to follow me."

I looked at the door warily. "Any one interesting waiting around?"

She smiled. "Too early for them, I think. Just the other passengers."

"Good."

I got up, and shouldered my bag, letting Edward deal with our combined suitcase.

He waited until the attendant was a few steps ahead of us. "Do you always travel like this?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I didn't used to, but after being ambushed at a boarding area about a year ago, to the point I almost missed my flight, I had to start hiding out. Probably not necessary every time I fly, but its routine now," I added a shrug.

Thankfully, everyone else along the Sea-Tac's Concourse A was doing the same zombie walk. I was a complete non-entity to the others, just another passenger trudging towards the gate and that was fine by me. There were times I wasn't quite in the mindset for fans. Early morning was definitely one of those them.

We handed our boarding passes to the gate agent and made our way down the jetway to our seats, settling in and buckling our belts. The other passengers in First Class gave us a nod or a smile in greeting, nothing out of the ordinary. The whispering didn't start until after a late arrival walked through first class. I saw recognition in the widening of his eyes. He did a double-take, then moved on towards his seat at the attendant's prompting.

Edward started to grumble but I took his hand. "It happens, Edward. It's all right."

"He was gaping at you like he'd never seen a woman before." He reached up to press the call button for the attendant. I batted his hand away.

"He's fine, Edward. I promise. He's in his seat and we're in ours, the flight crew will see to it. There's a reason it's down in my contract I'll only fly this airline. They have a history of hiring only the best."

"The best being...?"

"The ones that know how to make sure I get to enjoy my flight as much as the next person, and without an autograph line springing up."

It took a few minutes for Edward to settle. I think the longer we went without a rush of fans, the more he relaxed.

"Good morning," a soft voice spoke above us. "It's nice to have you back with us, Miss Swan. Can I get you both coffee before we take off? We have cinnamon scones and fresh blueberry muffins as well."

I smiled in real delight. "Annie! I didn't expect to see you today. How are you?"

"I'm just fine, thanks."

A thought occurred and I gasped. "You're not leaving the Los Angeles run, are you?"

Annie laughed. "Not at all. I'm working this flight as a favor to the airline. I've been in Tacoma all week on vacation, reuniting with friends from college. I was due to fly back later this afternoon, but Sarah, who usually works this flight, is down with stomach flu and the airline asked if I'd fill in on my flight home."

"I hope you had a good time with your friends. And I hope they're paying you extra for cutting your vacation even a few hours short."

She winked at me. "You know it."

I laughed, squeezing Edward's hand unconsciously. "God, I'm being unspeakably rude, aren't I? Edward, this is Annie, who's taken care of me on more flights to New York than I care to mention. Annie, my boyfriend, Edward."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Annie," Edward said at last. I shot him a puzzled look at the odd tone in his voice.

"Pleasure's mine, Edward."

"We'll take coffee for now, Annie," I requested then turned to Edward. "Do you want anything to snack on?"

His head shook. "Coffee's fine."

Annie gave a nod and a smile, then turned back to the galley.

I turned to Edward when she'd left us. "What's wrong?"

"No—"

"Don't you dare say 'nothing,' mister. You about swallowed your tongue just now."

"You are aware you just called me your boyfriend?"

That shocked me, I hadn't even realized it. It had seemed so natural at the time. "Ah, whoops? I did, didn't I?" I raised an eyebrow. The expression on his face wasn't what I'd call happy. It was closer to 'pebble in shoe.' "Is that a problem?"

"No. I mean, no…," His mouth quirked the way it always did when he was trying to work things out in his mind, sorting them until they made sense.

"I know, it's kind of a kid word. Would you have preferred 'lover'? I'll use that if you want. I've just always thought it sounded pretentious as hell."

That startled a laugh out of him. "No, yeah. I mean, I've always hated that word. I just didn't expect..."

"Oh," I said, a bit softer, when I realized what he wasn't saying. "You weren't thinking that at all, about me, I mean."

I bit my lip. Christ, I'd really put my foot in it this time. We'd never discussed what we were to each other. Not once. It was another part of the elephant in the room. To talk about that meant bringing up the future, and the future included LA and so on. I know what I wanted, and what I thought Edward's role in my life was. What I didn't know was how _he_ pictured it all.

"I'll set Annie straight when she comes back. You don't have to worry, it's not like she'd tell anyone or anyth—"

"Want to know one of my favorite things?" he said out of nowhere, stopping my babbling apology before it could even get started.

"What?" I asked, sidetracked enough from my mortification by the sudden change in subject.

"I love it when my girlfriend babbles."

Then he leaned in and kissed me before the shock had a chance to fade. My gape turned into a giggle under his expert lips. We laughed and kissed, celebrating the official change in our status, until Annie brought coffee. She gave us the flight attendant rundown: instructed us to switch off our phones, buckle up our belts, that the breakfast menus were in our center console along with the list of in-flight movies available, and that we'd be pushing back shortly.

The flight itself was fairly typical. Little to no turbulence, the breakfast box was delicious as ever, and we had a short, vicious argument over spending the flight watching one of my movies. I won, but only because I pulled out the pout he couldn't resist.

I, apparently, had no shame about using my trump card. Or so he told me in his grumbly voice. I refused to feel bad about it, though. I hated watching my own films and he'd left me no choice. Then I kissed him and apparently all was forgiven.

We laughed our way through the comedy we finally decided on, and were still laughing over our favorite lines when the plane landed and we gathered up our things for departure. I thanked Annie with a hug and we chatted for a few minutes before she got the signal to open the door onto the jetway and we were allowed to leave.

"Call Jake and he'll set everything up," I said on departure, taking Edward's hand in mine.

"What was that about?" he asked as we made our way into the terminal.

I smiled. "Annie's a huge science fiction buff, especially movies, and there's one coming out next month she's about desperate to see. I told her to call Jake to make sure she gets tickets to the premiere."

Edward looked confused. "I thought premieres were...big events, or something. Stars and studio people and such."

I squeezed his hand. "That's just what's outside, and what the press shows. Inside, the theater's about a third critics, a third production people and their families and the rest people who win or are given tickets. The studio wants them there because it's a good way to gauge audience reaction." I grinned. "It's also a good thing to have fans in the audience to gasp, laugh or applaud at the right moments. Especially for the critics in the audience."

"Bet that can backfire pretty quick."

"It can, and does," I laughed back, only vaguely noticing the looks we were getting from other passengers in the terminal. "I saw one comedy go from Hollywood premiere...then straight to DVD because the only person laughing was the star himself in a feeble attempt to save face."

"Awkward."

"And then some. It wasn't his fault; the script was horrible and the directing worse. Not long after that, he fired his agent, hired Jake and he's managed to pull a phoenix."

"Now you've got me curious."

I told him who it was and his jaw dropped. "I'd've never guessed."

"Not many would. That movie disappeared so fast, I don't think it's even in the Wal-Mart sales bins anymore." I shuddered. One of my worst nightmares – one of those bins filled to overflowing with every movie I'd made.

Edward squeezed my hand; he must've felt the shudder. "You—"

I turned to look at him when he didn't continue, only to find him looking a ways down the terminal.

"What is it?"

He answered my question with one of his own. "What is that?"

I followed his line of sight and the bottom dropped out of my stomach.

There was a logjam ahead, right where the security checkpoint was. And it was filled with jockeying photographers. Thankfully, there were no flashes; they hadn't seen me yet.

"Oh, shit."

"Bella?"

I was already pulling out my phone, which I'd forgotten to turn on upon landing. Edward had a way of distracting me like that. I waited, my back to the throng as I moved us into an empty gate and out of the photgraphers line of sight.

After a minute, my phone was practically dancing as text message and voicemail alerts arrived. My heart sank as I read through the texts. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Bella?" Edward repeated, squeezing my shoulder this time.

I closed my eyes. "Give me a second," I said to him, hitting Jake's speed dial. He picked up on the first ring. I put the phone on speaker and took Edward's free hand in mine. I held onto it like a lifeline.

"Jake, I—"

"Cat's out of the bag, Bells."

"What?"

"Someone Twittered about two hours ago that you were on a flight to LA with a guy. Saw you sitting together and kissing. It took the vultures about a second after that to swarm LAX like flies on road kill."

"Lovely image, Jake."

"Seemed fitting enough."

"So what do we do?" Edward wanted to know.

"Nothing we can do. It's not like we can have you hike out of there across the tarmac. Leah's in there somewhere, probably elbowed her way to the front of the pack by now. Find her. She'll lead you both to the front. I'm out here with the Jeep."

"Leah?" Edward asked.

"My assistant. She's the best at this."

I looked at Edward, he didn't look convinced. I gave a short laugh. "Trust me, when you see Leah, you'll understand. She's only a few inches shorter than Jake and bad ass with it. People tend to just get out of her way instinctively."

"She says it's her perfume," Jake commented, "eau de bitch."

Edward still looked skeptical, but I knew that'd fade soon on its own, so I didn't push my point.

"Best to just get it over with, Bells. Head down, keep moving, you know the drill."

I did know the drill. It wasn't my first trip to this circus. Problem was, I had a newbie with me. God. What had I been thinking, dragging him through this?

"Got your iPod?" Jake was asking.

"My what?" My hands went automatically to my bag. I swore. "No, I don't. Last I remember it was flying out of the car just like I was. Probably buried under a half-ton of compost in a forest right now."

"What about your phone? You've got Pandora, don't you?"

"No headphones. They were wrapped around the iPod."

"Crap. Well. Just do your best. Hum or something."

"I'll do what I can. See you in a few." I hung up and pocketed the phone, rooting in my bag for my sunglasses.

"Hum?" Edward asked.

I nodded. "To keep from hearing what they yell out. It's a trick they love, call out random crap in the hopes that human nature wins out and you'll look towards them. Then they get a full-face shot rather than profile. Even better if they get some weird-ass expression on your face. Usually I blast death metal into my ears, but that's buried in the forest outside Forks right now."

"So we're on our own?"

I nodded and slipped my sunglasses on, pushing them up onto my head while I looked at him.

"Isn't there something the airport can do? I mean, we were escorted onto the plane in Seattle, right?"

"They can, and do. If I know Leah, she's got airport security with her and waiting to walk with us to make sure no one gets too close. In the end, it's a public airport. The press have a right to be there just as I do. Unless they make physical contact, there's nothing illegal about it."

"How about decent?"

I laughed. "Not much decent about the paps. It's really all right, Edward. It's just part of my job, just like difficult patients are part of yours."

Edward wasn't laughing. "Would it help if I wasn't with you? If I just, I dunno, hung back here? Jake said it was because someone said we were together..."

I stopped his babble with a kiss. It took him a second, but he eventually relaxed into it. "I'm not hiding you, Edward. I'll understand if you'd rather not go through this because it makes you uncomfortable, but I have no problem walking through it with your hand in mine."

His smile touched every bit of his face and he leaned forward to kiss my forehead, down the bridge of my nose, then finally my lips. "I'm staying with you. No way I'd let you go through this alone while I stood back and watched."

"My hero," I said, thrilled to see the blush on his cheeks.

We held each other for another moment, arms loose around the other, before we both stepped away.

"Remember what Jake said. Eyes down, hum something in your head, and keep your hand in mine. Leah will lead us through the throng."

"Kinda like high school."

I looked up with a raised eyebrow. He continued. "My brother being on the team didn't stop the defensive line from making walking the hallways interesting for a scrawny little geek of a kid. You learned to follow the ants and not make eye contact."

"Just like that then," I smiled then took a deep breath in. "You ready for this?"

He snorted. "Is that even possible?" He followed my lead and took in a deep breath of his own.

We stepped back into the corridor and started walking, with purpose this time. Little by little the sound level rose from murmurs to a low roar. Shutter clicks started the second we were in range. So did the voices calling my name.

"I see Leah. She's right in the middle."

"Got her," he said, and I actually heard a laugh. "You're right, there's no missing that."

And there wasn't. Leah Clearwater, Seth's older sister, was about as easy to miss as a steam punk at a debutante's ball.

I felt Edward's hand tighten in mine as we neared the horde. "Can I at least give off a little battle cry before we're attacked?"

My heart lightened when I saw his face – he was nervous, but trying so very hard to be blasé about it. I pressed my lips together to keep wayward declarations of the three little word sort off my lips.

This wasn't the time…or the place. There'd be time enough for that. Later."No, Braveheart, you can't. Not unless you're wearing a proper kilt, anyway." I waggled my eyebrows at him.

"Now you're just being a spoilsport." I watched him take another deep breath in, exhale it slowly, then eye the corridor like Heracles on his way to the Hydra. His hand tightened on mine. "Come on, Hollywood. No one wants to live forever."

Without another word, he led the way down the corner and into the throng and for the first time, I walked through the paparazzi with a huge smile on my face.

* * *

_Reviews are awesome. Just sayin'._


	16. Chapter 16

_AN – Same disclaimers apply_

_As ever, thanks for all the reviews, pretty sure I was able to respond back to them all =) Thanks also to those that put the story on alert or made it a favorite. Those notices truly brighten my day._

_Sorry for the delay on this one – I was stuck in Atlanta with no internet access over the long weekend and just got back from the ten hour drive home. Torture, I'm telling you._

* * *

By the time I made it into the Jeep with the blacked out windows, I was shaking. My whole body. I think even my toes were doing a little involuntary twitching. The pressure of keeping my clenched hands at my sides rather than plowing one or both through the nearest face and/or camera surrounding me had taken strength I'd never known I'd possessed.

I'd always thought of myself as a non-violent person. And I was.

For the most part.

Until Bella.

The only thing that brought out my inner Cro-Magnon, it seemed, was the petite brunette now buckling in beside me. I went from mild mannered doctor to grunting caveman the second she was threatened or insulted.

Christ. Had she ever been insulted, too.

"Fucking hell," I said when the door finally shut behind me. With a soft thump, the yelling voices went from piercing to muted. For a disconcerting second it was like being struck deaf; my ears started ringing from the lack of audible assault. Then Jake pulled us away from the curb, and the scream of the paparazzi fell away at last. I leaned my head back on a groan, willing my body to settle and my muscles to relax. Not easy given the amount of adrenaline that had been pumped into my system during the five minute walk through hell.

"Edward?" Bella turned in her seat to face me, sunglasses back up on top of her head. I felt her small fingers slip into mine. "How're you holding up?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I mean, I've heard the expression 'run the gauntlet' before. I've even used it a few times. I'm just now realizing that I never knew exactly what it meant."

Bella laughed and leaned back. "That's a good a way as any to sum it up. You were wonderful, though. Not even a flinch or pause in your step." She leaned over to kiss my cheek. I wasn't ready for kisses yet, though. I was still too keyed up.

"I almost decked a few of them," I said into the silence of the car.

"God, I'd've loved to see that." From the front seat, Leah the Killer PA, turned around to grin at me. "I've heard about your right hook, Doc. Seen your handiwork myself. Gotta admit, I'm impressed."

I felt heat reach into my cheeks.

Her smile widened and she extended a hand. "We didn't have a chance for introductions earlier."

I still remembered the one second of eye contact we'd had before her strong hand took hold of my arm amid a sea of clicks and shouts, then her pulling me forward like a wayward child. "An understatement," I offered with a wry smile, leaning forward to shake.

"Better late than never, right?" she said when our hands connected. "I'm Leah Clearwater, Seth's older sister and Jake's assistant."

I couldn't help it, my lips twitched. "Which came first? The boyfriend or the boss?"

"Seth met Jake first. Swept him off his innocent little feet and he's been defiling my baby brother ever since."

She reached over and smacked at his arm, he winced comically and sputtered at her use of the word "defile," but Leah talked right over it. I got the distinct impression that joke had been going on for a while. It had about the same level of truth as Emmett's threat to remove Jasper's teeth with his fist if he did more than kiss Alice's cheek, anyway.

Must be an older brother/sister thing. I was pretty sure that, if they ever met, Leah and Emmet would get along great.

"Then the car market dried up last year," Leah continued. "I threw myself on Jake's mercy when I was in danger of losing my condo and I've been his right arm ever since."

Jake snorted and Leah turned to look at him. "You rebutting that, oh mighty alpha?"

"Not me. I like having functional kneecaps."

She smacked at his arm again, he parried, and both of them started laughing. Whatever Leah said about defilements, those two were family, in every way that mattered.

"So you sold cars? Really?"

"You sound surprised."

"Probably because I am. I was thinking you were a model or something," I admitted. Tall and exotic, she had the kind of beauty that made you stop and look again. And again. Just to make sure what you were seeing was real. I heard a breathy little chuckle from Bella and knew I was blushing again. Normally, just knowing I was would make me blush even harder, but Bella had a way of making me not mind.

Fairly sure it had something to do with the fact she usually kissed me with it happened.

Leah laughed. "A few agencies tried, believe me. Especially when I was younger. But I like eating, and I especially like eating cake. I wasn't giving that up to be a drugged out stick figure for the five years my career'd last. I decided to use my looks to sell overpriced toys to middle-aged men instead. And I was brilliant at it. Made more in commissions there than I'd have ever made with fashion houses. Better hours, too."

She sighed. "And then all the middle-aged men started worrying about their retirements and Porches went back to being a dream, not reality. Adding insult to injury, California taxes got so bad that even those still buying were doing so in other states and shipping them in. Very upsetting. Spent a fair bit of time angry over it."

Jake snorted. "Now who's got the understatements."

"Shut up, Jake."

"Huh?" I admitted.

"A bit of time angry?" Jake met my eyes in the mirror. "Try kickboxing lessons, coupled with the Tae Kwon Do she'd already been doing for years, and you've got a woman that actually broke the sparring bag. I mean busted it flat open. No lie, Leah could probably hold her own if she decided to try UFC."

I didn't doubt that statement. The place she'd grabbed on my arm to steer me out of the mass of photographers was going to show a bruise later.

"And now I use those mad skills to intimidate the press and get your precious babies to safety, don't I?" She didn't wait for a response and turned back to me. "Anyway. Got sidetracked there. We were talking about _your_ right hook, not mine."

I grimaced. "I was hoping we'd stopped talking about it, actually." Beside me, Bella giggled and pressed in close.

"Why? Hell, I'm still on a contact high over that one, Doc. Just the mental image of you getting Jake off his feet and into a shrub? Totally awesome, as the local girls would say. Remind me to buy you a beer while you're here."

I didn't laugh. I couldn't. I was still mortified over my behavior.

Instead, I reached up to try and massage away the headache that was trying to form behind my temples. Simple massage wasn't quite doing the trick. Because even though the anger and adrenaline had faded, the tension was still there in my muscles, in the clench of my jaw, in the echo of every remembered jeer and catcall. I sighed.

I felt Bella's slight fingers squeeze mine. "What is it?" Her voice was low, drowned out by the sound of the car's engine and tires on the highway.

"I can't seem to get it out of my head. What they said. What they called out. To you, about you. You warned me, I know. I just didn't think...I didn't think it would be that bad."

I hadn't thought. I'd pictured her name being yelled out, photographers calling her name to get them to look over at them. Nothing more than that.

And some had. Most had. There were just a few voices in there, a few photographers a bit more determined, or outspoken, than the rest. And one that stood out in my mind, memorably asking me what it was like to be fucking America's Sweetheart; asking Bella if there'd been a breakup or if she was planning on fucking Jake and I both when we got home.

My hand clenched at the memory. Bella's fingers rubbed at my fingers until they relaxed again. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Get through that without losing your composure. I've seen you angry, Bella. You're not the type to just roll over and take it, especially that sort of thing."

She shrugged. "Normally, I don't have to. I use my iPod and it keeps me from hearing what they're saying. Besides, I know it's nothing personal. It's just part of the job, theirs and mine."

"Their _job_?" I couldn't stop the snort.

"Yeah. That's how some of them make a living, though I think for a few of them it's more of a hobby, like playing the lottery. They sell whatever pictures they get to gossip magazines and websites. And if they happen to get the money shot, a picture of someone famous doing something outrageous or actually being provoked into screaming back? That could be worth a lot of money, into the tens of thousands."

I groaned from behind closed eyes. "Now I'm going to have to reevaluate my entire world."

I could almost feel her confusion and popped one eye open to look at her.

"Your entire world?" She prompted.

"Yeah. Up until today, I thought ambulance-chasing lawyers were the lowest form of human life. Now I know differently." I let my lips twitch into a smile.

Just as I'd hoped she would, Bella laughed and relaxed into my side. "Silly man."

"That I am." But even as I kissed the top of her head and she relaxed into my side, the photographer's voice still rang in my ears. I somehow doubted that despite my teasing now, I'd be exorcising that demon any time soon.

Bella and I sat quiet in the back as Jake drove on, Bella pointing out landmarks and favorite places as we passed them, sneaking kisses when we thought no one was watching, laughing at little inside jokes. It was what I needed on so many levels – a reminder of home, where we'd do and act the same on the half hour trip home from dinner or a movie in Port Angeles.

We both looked up when the car decelerated. Bella gasped when she caught a look outside, an excited lilt to her voice. "Jake?"

"Surprise," he tossed over his shoulder. "The studio had a conflict and they had to put the dubbing off a few hours, so I thought you'd rather spend that at your house rather than sitting in my office."

Bella made a sound that was close to indecent. "You have never thought more right about anything, Jake. Ever. You're the absolute best."

He chuckled then Leah nudged his arm, jerking her head back towards us. "Good a time as any?"

He shook his head. "Subtle, Leah."

"You don't pay me for subtle, boss."

"Jake?" Bella cut in, a note of impatient in her voice.

Jake nodded. "I forgot to mention…"

"Forgot?" Bella sniffed. "Try again, without the lying this time."

He paused, smirked, then continued. "All right, I waited to mention this until you were recovered from the trip in, and the paps, as well as happy that you'd get time at home to unwind. Better?"

She gave him a smile so sweet, I felt my insulin levels change. "Much."

"Anyway, smartass, Paul called this morning when Twitter popped that you were on a plane for LA. He asked if you'd be able to go to the premiere tomorrow night for _Windows_ since you'll be in town after all."

_"Windows_?" I asked. I hadn't seen any thing by that name in my dark nights of internet stalking her career so many weeks ago. She hadn't mentioned it either.

"It's a small film a friend of mine from UCLA did on his own about a year ago. I don't have much of a role, more a cameo. He finally found financing to finish it, so it's premiere time."

"And if word 'leaks' that she'll be at the premiere it might bring more press, which leads to more attention for the film. In this town, it's all about getting the word out, getting people talking."

I frowned. "And this is a friend?"

"Paul? Yeah. We met at school. I used to hang out with him in the light booth when I needed a quiet place to study. That's actually where I first read the script." Bella laughed. "We joked that I should become a big star so he could cast me in the role. Flash forward a few years..." Bella waved a hand, always reluctant to talk about herself that way.

I took her hand and kissed it. "...and there you are, a big star." She blushed and I leaned in, kissing her warm spot just as she always kissed mine. "It doesn't bother you? Being used like that?"

Bella cupped my cheek, frowning a little. "He's not using me at all. He's using my name. It's Hollywood's version of paying it forward. I got lucky and hit it big, so I use that fame to help someone else. It's one of the very few things that make the gauntlet we ran back at the airport worth it."

"I guess that makes a certain sense."

A silence stretched as we turned into a gated neighborhood, Jake flashing his ID at the gate while a uniformed guard nodded and gave a very soft, "Welcome home, Miss Swan."

She answered a thanks to the man, using his first name, then turned back to me.

"So what do you think?"

I felt my eyebrows pull together. "About the guard?"

She laughed. "No, silly, about the premiere tomorrow night. Will you go with me?"

I gaped. She grinned. "What, you thought I was going alone? Or with Jake?"

Yeah, I actually had.

"Hell no," the man called from the front seat. "You two are out now. Means my ass gets to stay home with my partner, sweatpants, and a six pack of Pacifico. You're the one in the monkey suit now, Captain America."

I gave a grunt at his old nickname for me. "I don't know. I didn't bring anything dressy with me, just jeans."

"That's not a prob. I can take you out this afternoon while Bella's working," Leah chimed in. "Pretty sure I can get you in without too much trouble. Christophe at Armani has been after me for weeks to throw _something_ his way. He'll wet himself if I tell him I'm coming in with the Bella's guy."

"I can only hope he'll change his pants before we get there?" I deadpanned. Bella laughed and hugged my arm.

I turned to look into her excited face. "Does that mean we're going?"

I knew there was no denying that look, her face, this woman, anything she asked of me. I'd just crawled through the depths of hell in the guise of a sea of photographers. Certainly I could make it through one Hollywood premiere.

"It'd be my honor to escort you," I said, and pulled her hand to my lips to kiss her knuckles.

Our eyes met and in that moment I felt something vital shift between us – something powerful and unspoken. And I started to believe that I wasn't alone. That just as I was falling in love with her, she might be falling right beside me. It was dangerous and exhilarating and terrifying. All at the same time.

We arrived at Bella's house not long afterwards. Bella got out with Jake and Leah both behind her, rattling off things and people she'd be meeting with today. I heard Leah mention that someone named Kate had sent over dresses for tomorrow night's event, on the off chance she'd agreed to attend.

The rest was lost in some sort of Hollywood-speak I couldn't understand. Oh, I understood the words well enough, just not in the combinations they used. I decided to save my sanity not try to figure it out. I decided to explore Bella's house while she put her actress hat back on.

The house itself was remarkably understated. Any thoughts I'd had of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous had long been dispelled as we'd driven through the modest neighborhood. Granted the place was gated and guarded, but inside it could have been any suburban housing development for the moderately well-off.

Bella's house was one of the smaller ones we'd passed, no bigger than my house in Forks. There was a decidedly southwestern feel to the décor, with warm oranges and browns mixed with Native American artifacts and artwork. I knew without asking that it had been professionally decorated. There was nothing of Bella here, just a living and dining areas that were pleasing to the eye.

It wasn't until I stumbled onto her media room that I found her touches. The TV was at least 60 inches in diameter and hooked up to a Blu-Ray player, a sound system and an X Box console. Two controllers were left forgotten on the coffee table. There was a desktop computer in the corner with a luxurious looking leather work chair in front of it. The shelves behind the chair held a stash of gamer snacks like Oreos and Cheetos, and a small fridge I was sure kept water and soda. There was even a single-cup coffee maker there. Assorted game boxes were arranged on one shelf – several I recognized from my own collection.

There was a comfortable and well-worn leather sofa in the middle of the room with a blanket puddle at one corner and a broken in looking pillow in the shape of a ladybug at the other. I wondered how many times Bella had fallen asleep there. From what I knew of her nocturnal habits before I spent my evenings exhausting her, I was willing to bet it was more than a few.

Built-in bookshelves covered one wall and made the room Bella's. Books, movies, odd little knickknacks, many of them angels, all lined the shelves. The placement was so haphazard, they could only have been placed there by Bella's own hand. No decorator would have left things so asymmetrical. I smiled when I saw the two awards she'd received over the years peeking out from behind a framed picture of Bella and an older version of herself, obviously her mother, standing on the beach.

"You disappeared."

I smiled when I heard her then felt her slight body press up behind me.

"I did. I figured since you didn't turn up in the operating room and tell me how to realign a wrist, I wouldn't hang around and mess up your actor stuff."

"You wouldn't have been in the way," she affirmed.

I felt her hands on my hips and lowered my own to cover them. "Where is everyone?"

"Gone for a few hours, until it's time for me to leave for the recording studio and you to head to the torture of Christophe and Armani."

"Is he that bad?"

Bella laughed. "Worse. He's a drama queen of the highest order." She considered for a second.  
"Then again, he might be so bowled over by how gorgeous you are, that he won't swear 'it can't be done' every five seconds and claim the world hates him for throwing insurmountable tasks at him all the time. Just do me a favor?"

I turned in her arms and placed my hands on her shoulders. "What's that?"

"Make sure Leah's in the room when he measures your inseam?"

Her words, coupled with her innocent little smile, had me laughing out loud. "Going to get a little frisky, is he?"

"The possibility is definitely there. After all, even I have trouble resisting it." She shifted her leg between mine, my body responded in typical fashion.

"Do you?"

"Mmhmm. So, how do you like my little game room?"

I laughed. "Are you kidding? This place is geek heaven. What's not to like?"

"I actually locked the door when the decorator came in. Said she could do whatever she wanted with the rest of the place, that this room was mine."

I imagined saying that to my decorator, my mother, and winced at the scolding I knew I'd have gotten. "How'd she take it?"

"Whined a lot, even stomped her Jimmy Choo on the ground, but in the end, I prevailed, and the Bella cave was born."

"I might have to get you to redesign my family room when we get home. This makes my set up look amateur at best. I do have to ask about the coffee maker, though. What, the trip to the kitchen just too far away?"

She laughed. "No. For awhile I played one of those huge online computer games and leaving the computer for any length of time could spell disaster. Even the going to the bathroom was a risk. Most of the time, I'd be up all night playing it so coffee was key."

I nodded. I knew the game she was talking about, I'd even spent some time playing it myself. The time commitment was one of the reasons I'd had to stop playing – it hadn't meshed at all with a doctor's life.

My hands came around her hips and pulled her closer, fingertips pressing in to her skin. "I've admitted to a little light internet stalking when you crashed into my life."

"I crashed into thin air."

"Metaphorically." I winked. She laughed.

"All right, then."

"Anyway. I've confessed to that. What I want to know is why I've never read so much as a whisper about gamer Bella?"

I saw the flush bloom on her cheeks. Like a divining rod to water, my hands covered the heated spots, thumbs brushing across her cheekbones.

"So very little of my life is private. This is a part of me that no one knows except for very close friends. I know it's only a matter of time before I make some game reference, in an interview or sound bite and my secret will be out. In the meantime, I'm trying to keep it as close to my chest as possible.

"One more question."

"Yes?"

"Horde or Alliance?" I kept my face as blank as possible, giving absolutely nothing away.

Her nose gave the most adorable little wrinkle. "Horde, of course."

My relief came out in an exaggerated breath. "Good. If there was a chance you were one of the asshole high-level Alliance that love to do nothing more than drop out of the sky and attack an innocent guy out questing, I'd have to ditch you on principle."

She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck. "No problems there. I spend most of my time these days helping lowers level up." My question must've been written on my face. "No, none of them have any idea."

"Ever think of telling them?"

"Nope," she laughed. "Most don't even believe I'm female, you think they'd believe I was a movie actress?"

"Point to you." I tried to school my features into solemn. "I suppose that's some consolation then, considering the fact you lied to me."

Bella's eyes widened. "I did? When? What?"

"You said you'd show me the stars' homes," I responded, channeling my inner Alice to get as pouty as possible.

Bella's lips twitched then pressed together, clearly hiding a smile. "I did, didn't I?

"You did. And now, after coming all this way, you've reneged on your promise. I'm all bereft over here." I hung my head.

"In my own defense, I did point out the driveways to a few, and what exit you'd take off the I5 to get to a few others."

I lifted my head just enough to show her my poked out bottom lip. "Hardly the same."

She sighed deeply. "Can I make amends?"

"And how would you do that?"

"Come with me."

"Where?"

She just grinned and crooked a finger at me. "My parlor."

"Said the spider to the fly?" I finished.

She laughed in response and stepped away from me only to stop and half-turn to me. "Got those leopard print boxers on?"

"Nope." I paused and lowered a little, like an animal about to pounce. "We've got on tiger ones today."

She squealed when I leapt, dashing for the stairs.

The race ended in a sweaty, sated tie.

* * *

My fitting by the infamous Christophe at Armani wasn't the worst thing I'd ever been through.

Over my lifetime, I'd had several humiliating moments. They'd organized themselves into something of a Hall of Fame in my head. My failed engagement, all but one night of high school, and the night I'd participated in a bachelor auction for the head of my residency program were the top three.

I had a feeling, however, that if Leah hadn't been in the room with us, the fitting would have found a place in the top five at the very least.

"Come on, Dr. Broodypants, it wasn't that bad, was it?"

I turned, confused, to Leah. "Pardon?"

"You're over there in what my mother would call a blue study, Edward. Christophe wasn't that bad, was he?"

I shook my head, both in answer and in an attempt to clear the past that had tried to creep in. "No, not at all. Hell, if I swung that way, I might have even taken him up on the offers."

Leah laughed. "Yeah, well, he's subtle like a Mack truck but mostly harmless."

I quirked a brow. "Douglas Adams?"

"No one better," she grinned.

We spent the rest of the trip from the store to the studio trading favorite moments from the Adams books. It seemed like not time at all before she was pulling up in front of the building. "You're not coming in?"

"Nope. I'm officially off duty for the rest of the day. The car service will be back to take you two home, and I live in the opposite direction. I'm off for home and a little afternoon surfing in my backyard."

"You live that close to the ocean?"

"Right on the water, baby. Why else would I sign on to be Jake's bitch? There was no way I was losing that house."

"Good point," I laughed. "Our little part of the Pacific might be quite a bit different from yours, doesn't mean I don't get the draw."

"Always nice to find a kindred spirit." Leah checked the dashboard clock. "Unless they ran into tech crap, they should be finished up soon. Just go on in and give them your name, the receptionist inside will take you back."

"All right. Thanks again, Leah. For protecting me from the octopus in Armani as well as the vultures earlier."

"My pleasure, Doc. I still owe you that beer."

I watched the car pull away before turning to the ordinary-looking office building. I stepped in and looked around. Not sure what I expected, but it wasn't what I found. The reception area looked like any of a thousand in the world, sofas and chairs, soft music in the background, large fishtank in the corner. There was a lone girl at the receptionist's desk, headset fitted in between spiked hair and multiple piercings. She looked at me warily when I walked in. "Yes?"

"I'm meeting Bella Swan here, I was told you'd take me back to her?"

As soon as I said Bella's name, the girl's face went from wary to blank. "I'm sorry, sir. There's no one by that name."

I turned back to the door. Did Leah drop me at the wrong place? I went for my mobile before I realized I didn't have her number.

At a loss, I looked back at the human pincushion and shrugged. "Is there another recording studio around here?"

"I'm sorry...Oh! You're him, er, Dr Cullen, right? Wow, I totally fu—blew it, didn't I? I'll take you right back."

The receptionist kept looking back at me as she led me down a few corridors and into a small room. Probably trying to gauge how ticked off I was, or if I was planning on telling anyone of her gaffe. I smiled, to set her mind at ease.

"They're nearly finished, if you'd like to wait in here." She indicated a comfortable looking sitting room complete with a balcony, computer workstation and flat panel television. "Can I get you anything, Dr. Cullen? Coffee? Water?"

I smiled and walked into the room. "I'm fine, thank you."

She nodded. "If you change your mind, just pick up the phone and press 5. You'll be connected straight to my desk."

"Thank you," I said again just before the door shut.

I hadn't taken a full sweep around the room when a voice interrupted the quiet.

"So, Dr. Cullen, I presume?"

I looked up and smiled. "Indeed, Livingston. Or should I say Maret?" I questioned, using Tracy's last name.

She laughed and stepped fully in to the room, a slight aroma of cigarette smoke following with her. "Fucking laws, kicking me out onto balconies. Good thing we live in paradise here, I shudder to think of ducking outside when it's bloody fucking freezing outside."

I'd heard the rumors about the actress' colorful vocabulary and I'd wondered how true it was – apparently very, very true.

"We've never been formally introduced. Just a bit of yelling over a phone. I'm Tracy," she said when she was standing in front of me.

"Edward Cullen, pleasure to meet you." I responded, shaking her hand.

"Manners, too. And here I thought my Brit had the corner on that market." She laughed. I blushed. She laughed harder. "Bella was right about the blush. It's adorable as fuck."

I had no idea what to say to that, so I said nothing. Thankfully, Tracy took pity on me and dropped the subject.

"Bella and Dan are wrapping up, just a few more tweaks with the perfectionist. Hope you don't mind sharing the room?"

"Not at all," I said, quick to reassure her. "Glad you're here, actually. I'd probably go out of my mind left t'my own devices."

Tracy's laugh filled the room. "Oh, I dunno about that. Reckon you'd be able to find some very interesting reading on the internet if you'd looked."

I was pretty sure my face registered my confusion. "Huh?"

"Sorry, I don't really do cunning well. Dan's always on my ass about how abrupt I am. I thought I'd give being subtle another shot. Dismal fucking failure, as usual."

"Now you've really lost me."

"Sorry. Look, just, ah check the computer," she said, pointing at the monitor.

I followed her direction and walked over to the small computer station and shifted the mouse until the screen came up…with a picture of Bella and me from the airport. There was an inset close up of our clasped hands.

That wasn't the shocking part. From what I was coming to understand about this side of fame, I'd've been curious if there _hadn't_ been pictures posted after all the ones that were taken. No, what shocked me was that the attached "story" included my name.

_Bella Swan's Mystery Man Named – _

_Seen earlier today arriving at LAX from Seattle, where she's been recuperating from her near-fatal accident, Bella Swan was in the company of an extremely attractive mystery man. Fellow travelers report seeing the pair kissing and acting very couple –like on both the plane and in the airport terminal. The pair held hands on the walk to Bella's waiting car, him casting frequent looks back to check on her well being._

_But who is the mystery man? Relax, my lovlies. I've always got the news for you, haven't I? Your gossip maven can exclusively name Bella's beau as Dr. Edward Cullen, an orthopedist from a small Pacific Northwest town of Port Angeles, Washington. Before you ask, yes, he was also the doctor that put our fair Bella back together again. Did love bloom for America's Sweetheart while under the careful hands of Dr. Cullen? Has Bella spent her time off the grid playing a protracted game of doctor? And what of Jake, her agent/would be lover – are the pair kaput? Stick with me, lovelies, and find out!_

With a few clicks of the mouse, I closed the window and put the computer to sleep. It was the least I could do, really, considering what I really wanted to do was hurl the monitor off the balcony. Just for the satisfying crash I'd hear when it landed.

Apparently the receptionist hadn't known who I was because she'd been told, she knew because she'd read this tripe, or something like it.

I felt something cold in my hand and looked up to find Tracy placing a bottle of water there.

"You looked like you could use a drink and this is the best I can do. Unfortunately, this place doesn't stock the fridge with anything harder than water. Don't want us messing with our vocal chords, or, more likely, don't want us getting utterly fucked up on their dime."

"How'd they find out who I was? My name, I mean."

Tracy shrugged. "Those pictures went live before you guys hit the I5. All it would have taken was for some friend, acquaintance, former neighbor, former patient, former whatever to email Tanya with a name and she and her little minions would have run with it. She's known for paying well for verifiable info, so they'd've gone to her first."

"Tanya?"

She nodded to the computer. "That's whose site you were on. She's one of the biggies, gossip site wise. Right up there with Jared, TMZ and Perez."

She practically spat the last name and it sidetracked me. "Don't be shy, tell me how you really feel," I commented, tongue in cheek.

"Sorry. I fucking loathe that little cockroach. Perez has a massive hard-on for Daniel and therefore hates me because I have him. The 'stories' he prints about me reflect that."

I leaned back in the chair, sensing a long history there. I didn't know if I could deal with it right now, though. I had enough on my already full plate.

"How do you deal with all of this?"

Tracy shrugged. "I dunno, you just do. Bella's had the wolves at her door for longer, so she's got the real coping mechanisms. Dan and I are still new to the game. A year ago, I had all the private life I could ask for. Now? I can't go out for a smoke without it being world news. And if I'm meeting a male friend for lunch or something? Perez is shouting to the rooftops that I'm fucking around on Dan. It's lovely."

I listened with a kind of fascinated horror. "So is anything ever real?"

"Very little of it. Maybe the things in the trades, but that's about it. The rest? If your own senses don't hear it or see it, don't trust it. And, of course, the Hollywood standby...pictures or it didn't happen."

"Trades?"

"The industry publications, like _Variety_. They focus more on who's doing what than who's fucking who, so there's a lot less sensationalism involved."

"And things like tomorrow night?" I clarified at Tracy's confused look. "Bella's going to a premiere for a movie, some small part she did for a friend."

"_Windows_," Tracy nodded. "Yeah, I remember her talking about it a few times. I hadn't heard it was head to the carpet time."

"Right, so now she's going to the premiere since she's here and says it's just using her name to help the guy get some press for his film."

"That's part of it, yeah," Tracy snorted.

"And the other part?"

"She gets the press, too. And a chance to pimp out _Shattered_ to anyone interviewing her. Nothing totally altruistic in this town, Edward. In fact, I'm actually kinda shocked they didn't ask Dan to take her to the thing, or Jake, to help stir up the tortured couple buzz. There are rumors of shiny awards in this film's future, they want to capitalize on that as early as possible."

I said what she wasn't saying. "And Jake or Daniel would be better at helping stir that buzz than a newbie doctor standing in the background looking awkward as hell."

"I didn't say that at all, Edward. Your being there will have Bella in a good mood. Hard to create good press if half your mind's focused on missing someone. Believe me, I've been there."

I was a little confused about that – because in the end, weren't they all actors? Couldn't they just...act happy? Before I could clarify, however, the door opened and Bella and Daniel came into the room.

On the periphery, I saw Daniel scoop Tracy into his arms and out onto the balcony – either to give us privacy or to smoke or both, I didn't know. Or care. My arms were full of Bella and that had the happy tendency to drown out everything else. Even gossip reporters.

"How'd it go?" I asked, once I had use of my lips again.

"It was brilliant. They're going to cue up the results in a second if you want to stay and watch. We don't have to," she hurriedly added.

I wrapped my arms tight around her as the flat panel on the wall came on with the studio's logo on the screen. "Are you kidding? And miss the first look at my favorite actress' new movie? Try and stop me."

Bella kissed me again, then peered around me to call outside. "Dan, they're starting."

Dan and Tracy came in from the balcony and stood side by side just as Bella and I did as the clip ran. It wasn't film like I'd ever seen it before. The picture itself wasn't clean. There were crop lines forming a rectangle around Bella and Dan's faces, and down along the bottom edge, numbers scrolled past indicating the precise section of film.

After a few seconds, however, I stopped noticing the cropping, or the numbers. I was caught up in the two characters and the goodbye scene playing out in front of me. I felt a twinge, a twist in my stomach over the passionate embrace that took place at the end, but it was thankfully fleeting. The overwhelming feeling was one of sadness for whatever had brought these two characters to such a tragic parting.

"Well," Bella asked, turning to look up at me. "What did you think?"

I could hear the double meaning in her question, knew she wasn't really asking about what I thought of the scene; she was also wondering how I was handling watching her kiss another man...a man standing ten feet away from us.

I looked straight into her eyes, my hands on her cheeks. "I thought that I want to see what came before, and I definitely want to know what comes after." I paused, then looked at the three of them. "They are reunited, aren't they?"

Daniel threw back his head and laughed. "I'd tell you, mate, but then I'd have to kill you."

We spent nearly a half an hour catching up with the couple before we left them to their own devices. The studio-hired car came to drive us back to Bella's and we settled comfortably into the back of the dark-tinted SUV. Bella made suggestion after suggestion about what we could do for dinner, but going out to eat didn't appeal to either of us. Bella said it was because she was tired after working all day, but I saw through that.

I knew it had more to do with the gossip mongers having my name, and her not wanting me to go through all of that again-

"Oh, shit."

I turned to Bella, alarmed. "What? More photographers?"

"Worse. Much, much worse." She pointed out the front window towards her house. I looked, my brows knitting together. "What? The Mini Cooper?"

Bella swallowed. "Not just any Mini Cooper, Edward. My _mother's_ Mini Cooper."

Oh shit was right.


	17. Chapter 17

_Thanks as ever to everyone still reading. Your reviews, alerts and favorites never fail to make my day a happier one._

* * *

We sat in the back of the idling SUV and stared at the small blue car as if an unending stream of zombies was about to start pouring out of it. Considering my mother was waiting in my house, no doubt impatiently, I thought I wouldn't mind a turn with the zombies.

"Miss Swan?" The driver, oblivious to the fear creeping up my spine, was clearly wondering why the hell we were still sitting here.

"Right. Sorry, Bill." I turned to Edward and sighed. "What was it you said at the airport? No one lives forever?" I expected him to laugh and was greeted with silence instead.

"Edward?"

I touched his shoulder and he jumped. "I'm sorry, what?"

I smiled, his tension somehow served to relax mine. "Edgy?"

"A little. Wondering if I'm going to be strung up by an important appendage in the next hour or so."

I laughed and slipped my hand into his. "_You'll_ be fine, she'll probably gush all over you and make you cookies or something. I'm the one that'll be grilled and flambéed." My teeth started to worry my lower lip a little.

We were silent another moment then Edward turned to me. "Does it still apply? The rule about letting out a battle cry?"

I laughed. "Yes."

"Damn. I need to get my hands on a kilt."

I leaned close towards his ear. "Remember, you have to wear it traditionally for it to count." I gave a little shiver at the mere thought of it. Edward in full Scottish dress with nothing separating us but a few folds of wool...

I shook my head like a dog clearing water from his ears. This was no time for historical romance fantasies about Highland lairds. Mom was waiting; I had to focus.

Without another word, I pushed open the door of the car and got out, waiting for him to join me.

"You're blushing?" he asked when we were back in the sunlight.

"It's just the heat of the day."

"It's 65 degrees outside, Bella. It's only hot if you're a penguin." He reached up a hand and touched my cheek with a finger, his eyebrow raised in question.

I met his look with silence. The stalemate stretched for a full minute while we stood facing each other on my driveway.

"Fine," I huffed in surrender. "I'm trying not to have sordid little fantasies about me as the Scottish maid and you as the bold Highland laird, all right?"

It took him a few seconds to process that, then he pulled me into his arms and kissed me soundly. "Now I _really_ have to find that kilt."

He slipped his hand into mine and tugged me towards the house. "Let's go. I'm sure it's not going to be as bad as either of us are fearing. Better to just get it over with than stand out here dreading. It'll be fine," he added with a kiss to my cheek.

"I'm holding you to that one, Cullen."

"If I'm wrong, and it's horrible, I promise to throw you over my shoulder and run like hell. How's that?"

"Still my hero?"

"Always."

I stopped and looked up into his eyes. The moment was frozen, still, not even the birds chirped. The words were on my tongue just as I knew they shone out of my eyes.

"Edward, I—"

"Bella! You're home!"

We jumped apart like teenagers on a porch.

My mother was already on approach, the heels of her little sandals click-clacking on the slate walkway that lead from driveway to front door. Her arms were outstretched, her smile warm and beaming. An old saying popped into my head, bewaring me of mothers bearing smiles rather than Greeks and gifts.

Even with the fear of facing her, I was still irked at her timing and groaned softly.

Edward seemed to understand. His hand squeezed mine and I heard his soft, deep voice whisper, "later."

Later was right. We'd endure a visit, get her out of the house, and the rest of the night belonged to us.

With that thought tethering me to sanity, I turned to Mom with a smile and walked into her hug. "Hi, Mom."

Her strong arms closed around me and held tight. I remembered then that this was the first time she'd seen me since my accident. However long ago it was to me, it was still very immediate for her.

Yes, we'd talked and Skyped since, and often, and she knew my recovery was going well. But knowing and seeing were very different things.

"Your guardian angel's still on duty, I guess," she whispered in my ear.

I felt emotion rise into my throat. We both knew she meant Dad.

"He is. And he's doing a great job."

She gave me another squeeze, a kiss to my cheek, and then pulled back, hands cupping my cheek. "You look amazing, sweetie. Even with an accident, I haven't seen this much health and happiness in your face in a very long time." She turned to look over my shoulder. "And I have you to thank for most of that that."

Edward cleared his throat and I could tell he was trying very hard to not scuff his toe on the slate stone beneath his shoes. "I don't know about that. Bella's overall health and attitude..."

Mom broke off and stepped away from me to go over to him. "You put her back together, Edward. Body and soul. For that, you have my eternal gratitude." She smiled then and pulled him into a hug of his own. "It's so nice to meet you face to face at last."

They'd met the first time over one of my Skype chats with Mom while her cruise ship was docked in Puerto Rico; Edward had stepped into the camera's range and Mom had refused to continue talking until she'd been properly introduced. He'd popped his head in a few times after that, because he was too polite not to.

"I couldn't agree more, Renee. I hope your trip home was uneventful?"

I stood back and watched as Edward pulled my mother's hand into the crook of his arm and walked them both into the house. Esme's fingerprints were all over the formal manners that were too seamless to be anything other than natural. I made a note to tell her the next time I saw her.

I followed along behind, listening as Mom recounted her trials with customs agents and the state of her house after six weeks away. She went on to yammer a bit about bills and junk mail littering her kitchen table and how the cat sitter hadn't bothered to straighten it at all.

I didn't hear much of it, I was still reeling over the first thing she'd said.

Six weeks.

Had it really been? I mentally counted back. Sure enough, I'd met Edward or, as he put it, crashed into his life, just a few days shy of that.

Six weeks that had upended my life in ways I'd never thought possible. It hadn't seemed that long, living the day to day of it in Forks. It had become just…routine, comfortable. It had become my life. A strange shiver of foreboding shimmered down my spine, like walking past an open freezer door on a hot day.

"Bella?"

I shook myself off that train of thought, looking up with a smile I wasn't sure I fully felt. "She done fawning over you?"

He laughed, not seeming to notice my unease at all. "I can only hope." He leaned in and kissed my forehead. "She's at least solved the what's for dinner question by bringing Italian over with her. Jake, it seems, gave her a rough estimate of when we'd be back here so she could plan accordingly and dinner's about ready."

I smiled and nodded.

He didn't smile back. "You all right?"

I moved closer until my cheek pressed against his chest, listening to the soft thud of his heart.

"Later?"

"Later," I agreed.

"Come on, you two, or I'm calling all the breadsticks."

Edward was the only one that laughed. "She's serious?" he asked.

"She is. The woman's a demon for breadsticks."

We both tore into the kitchen like children called in from playing outside all day, hands held tight, laughing when it turned into a race.

Dinner wasn't quite the nightmare I thought it'd be. Mom contained her conversation to embarrassing Bella stories (of which there were myriad) and Edward, bless him, had told stories of his own embarrassing moments to counter it. I'd heard many of them from Esme already, but I was grateful for his anecdotes. Any time he spent talking was time my mother didn't have to give us another round of "…has Bella told you about the time she…."

There was only one awkward moment – when Mom let it slip that she'd met someone on the cruise, a baseball player named Phil. I'd spent the obligatory role-reversal moments of grilling her about the guy. I wasn't too worried as he lived somewhere in Arizona, but all the same, Mom had dated precisely never since Dad died. She was even more out of practice than I'd been and because of that, much more a potential victim for guys who prey on lonely women.

Mom assured me he was no such thing and told me to stay out of it, I silently vowed to have Jake check into this Phil, and the ball player didn't come up again. Edward saved the day again, telling us about when Alice shortsheeted his and Emmet's beds the day they came back from camp one year.

We'd settled into eating after that and managed to put a decent hurt on the meal. Not so much as a breadstick was left behind when we'd finally pushed back from our plates, just a few lonely pieces of pasta and a quarter of the salad. The conversation stayed easy and open, no awkward pauses between my mother and Edward, nothing. It felt like we'd been having dinner together like this forever. That little shiver came back. I ignored it.

"Edward's a great guy."

I turned to face Mom a smile already on my face. Behind us and inside the house, the great guy in question was in the kitchen, washing dishes. In spite of our many, and repeated protests, he'd booted us both out to the back deck to talk.

"You've been with me for weeks. Catch up with your mother," he'd said with a kiss to my forehead. Then he'd smacked my backside as I'd walked towards the deck.

"Cheeky bastard," I'd accused.

"You love it," he'd countered.

"Yeah, I do."

Our shared look lingered for a second only before I headed through the sliding glass doors to the back deck, joining my mother where we now sat, feet dangling into the cool, clear water of the pool.

"He is. Beyond great, bordering on mythical," I laughed – a laugh that died when I realized Mom wasn't laughing with me. "What is it?"

Mom was looking at the glass of water she held, following a bead of condensation down until it dropped onto her hand. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"Sorry for the language, Mom, but bullshit. You wouldn't have brought it up if you really thought it was nothing. Spill it."

She sniffed, a little half-laugh. "You know me too well."

I didn't respond, I wasn't going to let this conversation sidetrack.

"I don't think any one of us believes I came here tonight for any reason other than to check this guy out and to give him the 'hurt my baby and I hurt you' speech in person rather than over an internet connection."

I grinned. "No, you wanted to give that to him in person, I'm sure. Makes the glare more effective." I couldn't help the giggle, remembering poor Jasper being fed the same thing by Edward and Emmett both, and the sputtering from both men when he'd flouted their threats by dragging Alice into an R-rated kiss right in front of them.

I lost the laugh when I saw Mom was still looking entirely too serious.

"Mom, tell me. What is it?"

"Where is this going for you, Bella? This affair with Edward?"

I sputtered. "Affair? You make it sound like I stole him away from a wife and kids in Seattle."

"He might not have that, but he does have something there. A career, family, a life that's free of the insanity that follows you around like Pigpen's cloud of dust."

My shoulders drooped, all righteous indignation gone in one stroke of the truth. Trust Mom to not only expose the bruise, put poke at it. "I know. Believe me, I know."

"Have you talked about it?" Silence answered for me. "I didn't think so."

"I meant to, we both did. It was just…"

"You were having too much fun being just Bella, I understand. That came through in every email you sent, sweetie. It was like you left everything behind, not just the job stress, but all of it. You got to live in a little Pacific Northwest rain filled bubble for a little while – the perfect vacation. And now it's back to reality."

My head shook. "Not yet it isn't. This is just a weekend trip to do the dubbing. We're leaving Sunday afternoon to go back to Forks."

"Right, but for how long after that? Are you planning on moving there for good?"

I pressed my lips together because I didn't want to answer it. Really, I didn't have to. We both knew I couldn't live in Forks; my home, and my job, were here.

"I didn't think so. Oh, Bella. My little Scarlett O'Hara," Mom sighed, her arm coming around me. "The problem is, no matter how many times you push it off, tomorrow eventually comes, and you're going to have some serious questions to ask yourself when it does."

"I know. I just wanted a few more days, a little more time before reality intruded."

"Who doesn't? You don't think I wouldn't give everything I have for one more day with your dad?"

I shivered at her words, shying away from the long-buried pain. Mom caught the shiver, and nodded once. We didn't need words to know we were remembering the same black period in my past.

The first time I played ostrich. When Dad died.

Mom continued as if she hadn't shined a flashlight on my darkest memories. "I honestly debated giving you a little more time, I did. I was just going to keep my own council and head home."

"But…?"

A rueful smile. "But then I did a little gossip surfing while I was waiting for you two to get home and caught sight of the pictures on Tanya's site."

"Yeah, I saw them, too. Along with about a dozen others." My brows pulled together. "But nothing struck me as odd about them, or even close to worrisome. We were just walking from the plane to the car."

"Then you didn't look closely enough." My mother leaned in and kissed me on each cheek. "You're from two very different worlds, Bella. That's not going to go away just because neither of you want to think about it."

"I know, but—"

"Bella."

I deflated completely – a helium balloon two days after the party. She had me cornered with the truth and we both knew it. Invariably, my back went up in response. "Christ, Mom. Any other rays of sunshine you want to shine down on me? Maybe tell me my career's going to tank? I'm fucking up my life? Making piss-poor choices that are going to come back and bite me later?" I was cursing myself inwardly for not seeing this coming. I'd known. With some inner sense of self-preservation, I'd known she was going to pull the mother hat out sooner or later. And _not_ to tell embarrassing Bella stories.

"No, sweetie. Nothing like that," she said, her voice soft, almost resigned. "It's just one of the unpleasant parts of being a parent."

"To dash dreams?"

Her head shook. "To step in when the dreams threaten to take control. It's never a pretty thing, or an easy one, but it's my job just the same. You'll understand someday." She kissed my forehead. "It's time to wake up, Bella."

Mom went back into the house after little nugget of happiness. Probably knew any further conversation would be pointless now. I was too angry to listen. Hard to hear her pearls of wisdom through the sound of my own seething.

My ears pricked up when I heard her saying goodbye to Edward, heard him walk her out to her car like the gentleman Esme'd raised him to be.

As soon as they'd cleared the front door, I ran for my game room, and my computer. I had to look at those pictures again. I was determined to prove her wrong about this one thing – if I did, then I could discount everything else.

Not two minutes later, I was calling up Tanya's site and staring at the pictures she'd posted of Edward and I walking through LAX. I searched for whatever my mother had seen, for what I'd somehow missed the first time. Not that I'd looked at the pictures much to begin with…I'd been more focused on seething over the "article" for that.

This time I looked, really looked, at the string of pictures. Defeat slumped my shoulders. Then I went Google searching for the others. Surely one of them would show…something else.

None of them did. It wasn't in any one picture, it was in all of them. The set of his shoulders, the look in his eyes, Christ, I could practically hear his teeth clenching – though my face was beaming a smile (remembering his last comments to me before we'd jumped into the fray), his was the exact opposite. Set. Angry. Tense.

Miserable.

I closed the browser window. Then I closed my eyes.

Was that what Mom had been saying? The parallel she'd wanted me to draw? Our reactions at the airport mimicking how we felt about this life I lead?

"Bella?"

I looked up when he walked in, a damp dishtowel over one shoulder, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I closed the distance, walking straight into his arms.

He looked startled at my frontal attack. "Whoa. Um, everything all right?" His came around me at once, easily.

I nodded against his chest. It was easier to lie if I didn't have to say anything, or look into his eyes while I did it. I wondered if it counted as a lie if Edward didn't believe it, because his grunt told me he wasn't buying what I was selling.

"Nice try. Did you fight with your mother?"

"No, not at all. Why?"

"She was a little more tense and a lot less laughing than she'd been at dinner. And now, so are you. It's not a hard conclusion to draw."

I exhaled in a slow stream. "I guess I should say we didn't _exactly _fight, not in so many words, at least."

"A heated disagreement?"

"Passionate clash of opinions."

"Ardent collision of attitudes?"

"Non-violent presentation of opposing outlooks."

A soft chuckle. "I could argue semantics with you all night long, and I'm now thinking I'll never challenge you to a game of Scrabble," he said with a soft kiss to my lips, "but I'd rather find out what was behind it than spend hours coming up with different names for it."

I pulled away to look up into the green eyes that had somehow become the center of my universe. I wanted to try and lie again, to tell him it was just silly mother-daughter things and to not worry. I wanted to avoid it and crack a joke or challenge him to another video game match.

I didn't do either.

Because there was a part of me that was terrified she was right…and that part wanted Edward to wrap his arms around me and tell me she wasn't.

"She's just…worried."

"About what?"

"We've lead very different lives up 'til now."

He laughed at that. "That's not exactly news."

I didn't even smile back, I just plowed on. "And she's worried that my crazy stupid life is going to be too much for you, and…and that my past history of hiding away from things I can't cope with will keep me from recognizing it until it's too late and…"

"Hang on," Edward interrupted. "Hiding away? When have you ever hidden away from anything? In the six weeks I've known you I've never seen you do anything but take what life's thrown at you and run with it. A car accident that could have killed you, broken bones and surgeries, intense physical therapy, and so on. All handled with a smile and an easy manner that charmed nurses and doctors alike. No, you're not into escapism, Bella. I'll never believe that."

I couldn't have stopped myself from kissing him if I tried, and, really, I didn't try very hard. His faith bolstered me, gave me the strength I needed to continue.

"But how many times have I talked around when I'd have to come back here? Or anything beyond dinner the next day? How many times has the subject changed to avoid the conversation?"

His head was already shaking. "No, Bella. That's my failing, not yours."

I blinked. "What?"

"I'm not letting you take that one on yourself. I was always more than willing to let the conversation get diverted or divert it myself. I've been so afraid that actually talking about it, would, I dunno, jinx it or something." He gave a soft laugh. "Or worse, that I'd finally wake up."

I honestly don't know what touched me more: the fact that he felt like he was living in a dream just as I did, or that he was as afraid of losing me as I was of losing him. It didn't matter, not really. Both left my heart feeling as though it had wings.

"So where does that leave us?"

He gave a mirthless laugh. "A pair of idiots terrified of a calendar?"

"Or two people in love and afraid to admit it, even to themselves." The words hung between us like a cartoonist's conversation bubble. I half thought if I looked up I could still see them there, floating like death above me.

My mouth opened to call them back, to do some sort of damage control, but then my lips were taken whole by Edward's mouth. His passionate kiss shook me to my foundation, reminding me of the quake I'd been through the year before. It wasn't until our teeth clacked together from the force of the kiss that either of us thought to pull back. My brown eyes met his green, and I knew just how lost I was to this man.

This wasn't an affair.

This was a forever kind of lost. And it was time to admit it.

"I love you, Edward."

My words had the same effect on Edward as a stone thrown on a calm pond. They shimmered out over his body in ripples, causing softening in some places like his eyes and shoulders, and hardening in other, more interesting ones. I arched against that hardening instinctively, pressing it into the soft skin of my belly.

With a wicked grin, I raised and lowered just slightly on my toes, my body adding friction.

He growled, lips vibrating against my throat before he pulled away. His hands cupped my face, his thumb over my lower lip. "I love you, too, my beautiful Bella."

I wanted to smile, to seal our shared declarations with a kiss.

Edward was entirely too feral for something as mild as that.

His hands slipped from cupping my face to gripping my waist. In a single, swift motion he hand me up off my feet, chests pressed tight together, arms encircling me like a vise. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he growled again when the motion brought our bodies into direct contact just where we needed it most.

We were through the sliding glass doors before his lips found mine again.

We didn't get far. Edward didn't know the layout of my condo well enough to navigate through it blindly. We hit one chair and a decorative table, ending up with my back against a wall in the hallway. He moaned, low and seductive. In the weeks of relative normality, I'd somehow forgotten Edward's love of vertical surfaces. His chest pressed against mine, his lips fastened on my throat and my moans joined his when I felt his tongue swipe just over the pulse point beneath my chin.

"Bella."

"Edward."

"Not going to make it."

"What do you—" My question died when I heard the slide of metal against metal, his zipper being pulled down.

I don't remember falling asleep. I don't even remember climbing the stairs. Both had happened, somehow, because when I returned to consciousness, I was lying face down and naked in my bed.

I had the first clue about how I'd gotten here when I felt a pair of warm lips tracing their way down my spine. I lay there quiet, enjoying the sensations, the slow warmth building through my body. His lips slid over to my hip, just where the flair of my hips nipped in to form my waist. I quivered when he hit the ticklish spot.

I felt the warm breath of his soft laughter. "Finally awake, are you?"

"Mmmm," I acknowledged. "How long have I been out?"

"A few hours. Slept right through sunset."

"And who's fault is that?"

"Guilty as charged." His lips ghosted across the small of my back as my mind replayed what had lead us here.

"Did I really blurt out that I loved you?"

Only a slight falter in the time between kisses. "Yes, you did."

"And you blurted it right back?"

He was moving back up my spine now. "I like to think mine was more eloquent than blurted."

"You do, huh?"

"Mmmhmm." His lips were along my shoulder blades now.

"Do you still?"

"Do I still what?"

"Love me?"

"Nope. Changed my mind."

I reached backwards and pinched at his leg, pulling on the coarse hair there.

"Hey!"

"Try again, Dr. Charming."

The next thing I knew, Edward had rolled us both until my body sprawled across his. "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer," he said in response, then kissed the breath from my body.

I rested my chin on his chest while our eyes drank from each other. "You really do," I said, my voice touching close to awe.

"I really do. I've said that to only one other woman and I'm realizing now that I didn't love her. Not really." His eyes searched mine, his arms tightened around me. "Not even close."

I blinked once, a question dangling on my lips. In the spirit of my earlier resolve to have it all out, I went ahead and asked.

"Tell me about her?"

His eyes closed on a deep breath then opened again when he exhaled. "You want to know?"

"Only if you want to tell me. Your past is your own, Edward. I just figured you wouldn't have brought her up if the subject was off limits. And. I'm curious about her, about what happened between you."

He shrugged. "It's not like there's any great mystery involved. It was a long time ago."

Mentally, I disagreed with that on Alice's behalf. Outwardly, I kept my face blank. "I'd still like to know."

His fingers resumed drawing patterns on my back. He turned his eyes from me and focused on the ceiling, then took a deep breath in before beginning. "I met Amalie in med school. Second year, Gross Anatomy. Should have known that meeting someone over a dead body didn't bode well, but I wasn't listening to any sort of common sense back then. All I knew was that a very pretty girl was smiling at me. Smiling at me a lot. That sort of thing just didn't happen normally."

"Surely she wasn't the only one to…"

Edward silenced me with a squeeze. "Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. I'd stopped looking well before then. It was easier, or at least less depressing. Anyway, there was Amalie, smiling away all through class, shy touches as we passed a scalpel to each other, that kind of thing. Easy little flirts that had me wrapped up in knots outside of a week, and probably wouldn't have if I hadn't been such a zer-."

Edward tried to shush my protests again, this time I made myself heard. "No, Edward, I can't do it. I can't listen to you run yourself down like that. You were a boy and a pretty girl was flirting with you – it's called being human to fall under that spell." I inched up his body to kiss his lips. "It was when I fell victim to your little flirts, so you can't blame yourself for falling for hers. Got it?"

It looked like he wanted to protest. I kissed him again until I felt the fight go out of him. "Got it?" I repeated.

"Fine. I'll try, all right?"

I nodded, knowing I'd be correcting him again if I needed to. "All right."

"Where was I?"

"Falling in love with Amalie." I was proud of the fact my voice was casual.

"Right. So, as I said, she didn't make it difficult to do. We liked a lot of the same things, movies, sports, piano bars over nightclubs, that kind of thing. We did everything together, it all felt so easy, so natural, the next thing I knew, she was living in my apartment and there was a ring on her finger. My ring."

Again, it was everything I could to do to keep my reactions blanked. Not easy when jealousy was creeping over me faster than wildfire.

"And then?" I prompted, no sign of emotion at all in my voice.

"And then the inevitable reality intruded. Amalie took me home for Thanksgiving that year, to meet her parents. We'd tossed a coin to decide how to split it up – Mom and Dad were dying to meet her, same as her parents were to meet me. It seemed so important to her to spend Thanksgiving at her parents house, so I gave in without argument, figuring we'd just spend Christmas with mine. Mom would have Alice and Em home, she wouldn't miss me too badly.

"Dinner was fine, just like the rest of our relationship. Everything seemed to go very smooth, natural, like it was meant to be."

"There's got to be a 'but' in here somewhere, or I doubt I'd be lying in a bed naked with you right now."

Edward laughed a little. "You know, I never thought I'd find a reason to be grateful for what happened between Amalie and me. And just like that, you've found something." His hand swatted my backside lightly and I giggled.

"What _did_ happen?"

"A simple question. That's all it came down to, one simple question about my future plans. Oh, I'd noticed throughout the evening that her father knew more about my GPA than I did, kept asking about residency programs, that kind of thing. I didn't think anything of it. He was a doctor, too, after all. I thought he was just being politely curious.

"What as the question?"

"Her mother asked what I was going to do after residency. I remember smiling, pleased I had an answer and not some aimless, ambitionless ramble. I told them I was going to Port Angeles to practice. That had never been in question, I'd always known I was taking my degree home."

I frowned. "And she didn't like that?"

"God, no. None of them did. You'd have thought I'd announced my intentions to toss my degree out the window and collect garbage instead."

"I don't understand. What was their problem?"

"Status, that was the problem. There's no prestige in a small town hospital. No one pays you seven figure salaries at the OMC, no one there can afford to drive around in gold-plated Land Rovers or live in upscale apartments in the city. Worse still, you don't get sent on junkets to Hawaii or Fiji if you're some random orthopedist, wasting your talent on clutzy old women and snot-nosed kids."

I hissed a little, Edward nodded. "That was a direct quote from her father. Dinner went straight downhill from there and carried on home. Over the next week she tried everything she could, and I do mean everything, to get me to turn around, to consider what taking a place in her father's cardiology practice would mean for our future. I refused. Consistently. I knew who I was and what I wanted – cardiology wasn't even close. Amalie got angrier when even forcing me to sleep on the couch wasn't enough to bring me around."

"She withheld sex?"

Edward snorted. "With a vengeance. Banished me to the sofa, then paraded around the house in Victoria's Secret's summer line. It wasn't a fun time to be living in my skin."

I started hoping I would run into this woman some day. For the sheer pleasure of clawing her eyes out with my own hands. So lost was I in my revenge fantasy, it took me a moment to remember the one vital point in his story.

"Wait a sec. You said you met her at school, in class, right? Why didn't she just join her dad's practice and let you follow what you wanted?"

He smiled at me then, leaning in to kiss me. "Clever girl. It took me a week of deprivation torture to come to that lightning bolt conclusion. Came running home from my intern shift, thrilled over my revelation and positive we'd be able to make it all work out."

I waited.

His eyes closed. I remembered holding a shell to my ear once, to listen for the ocean. I knew it wouldn't work the same with my ear to his chest, and I was glad of that. I didn't think I could handle the sound of his heart breaking.

"It was all a lie, Bella. Every minute of it. Amalie was going to school to find a doctor, not become one. She had no intention of ever sitting her exams, getting licensed, or, God forbid, seeing patients. She wanted to find herself a successful doctor to marry and figured he'd see her as an equal if they met in school. I finished top of the class first year, and that's how she culled me from the herd. One blown test and she'd never have looked twice at me."

I was wrong. I could hear his heart breaking. It was in every word he spoke. I leaned in close, kissed the spot just over his heart. "What happened then, how did it end?"

Edward shrugged. "Quietly. The truth was out. She packed her things, left the ring on our dresser, and moved back home. I went on to spend my internship trying other specialties to make sure I knew where I wanted to be, then did my residency in Seattle General's ortho department. OMC offered me a position right after graduation. My first day on the job was the day Amalie married Hugh DeGroot." He paused. "Second in the class."

"Poor Hugh."

"Not really. They've made a good life for themselves. Two kids now, a big house in an upscale neighborhood, and all the trips to Fiji she could want."

"You kept in touch?" The idea astounded me.

"Not like you mean."

"Then how?"

He shrugged. "At first it was just at medical conferences because he was at Seattle General and I was at OMC. And then..." He laughed. "It's actually sort of funny. When their first child got close to school age, suddenly the city wasn't where she wanted to be after all."

"Don't tell me..."

"Yep. They moved to the Port and he's head of OMC's cardiology department now. Ironic, isn't it?"

"And you see her, and him, all the time?" I was working to keep my claws sheathed, and pretty much failing. The idea of this little bitch lording her marriage and family over Edward after breaking his heart for wanting the same had me seeing red.

"Him more than her. She's all school boards and civic league. I only ever see her during social functions at the hospital."

"And it doesn't bother you? Seeing them together?"

His head shook. "Not as much as it probably should. And I never fully understood why. Yeah, there were a few pangs for what might've been, but nothing more than that. It wasn't until just recently that I figured it out." He kissed me then, long and slow, and I thought he might just be telling me how he'd figured it out.

I lingered over his lips. "How is it Alice doesn't know anything about any of this?"

A brow popped up. "How do you know I never told Alice?"

I bit my lip and looked down, embarrassed to be called out on my nosy.

He reached between us and tipped my chin up. "Scoping me out, were you, Miss Swan? Asking my sister about me?"

"Answer the question."

"So you were, then." He appeared to like the idea, because I was rewarded with another deep kiss.

"All right, maybe a little." I loved the way his laughter vibrated along our bodies. "So how _have_ you managed to keep it from Alice?"

"It's not something I'm particularly proud of, and definitely not something I want Alice coddling and fussing at me over. Emmett knew something had happened, so he took me out, got me drunk and didn't let up until I told him. That was my catharsis. I was able to move on after that and we never mentioned it again. As far as I'm concerned, the wound's healed, scar tissue formed, and life has gone on. You're…."

I looked up when he went quiet, surprised to see something like horror on his face.

"You're not going to tell her, are you? Alice?"

I played innocent. "Why can't she know? She loves you just as much as Emmett."

"I know she does. I just don't think there's a statute of limitations on little-sister revenge, or coddling, for that matter. She'd go all Mama Bear on me, then on Amalie, and no one needs that over something that happened years ago."

"Maybe she'd surprise you and not do all that?"

He shot an eyebrow at me. "Do you really think that's possible?

"No, I don't." I let a slow, wicked smile turn the corners of my mouth. "But she is one of my best friends. It's not right I should keep secrets from her…"

"You wouldn't."

"I might…depends on what's it worth to you for me to keep quiet?"

Edward spent the rest of the night showing me, in great detail, exactly what it was worth.

* * *

_I rarely do this – but if you're looking for something to read while waiting for me to update, I highly recommend Adair7's I'm In Here (.net/s/6905472/1/Im_In_Here). It's got a little slashy content, but a great aloof-and-above-it-all Edward who's struggling with having his whole perfect little life upended in several ways. ExB with some Jasper/Edward undertones. Well worth a look, imho. And if you like it, be sure to leave her a little review. They're lovely things._


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: Sorry for the delay on this one. I'm at the point where I have the endgame plotted out and the muse demands I write through to the end. I'm nearly there, too._

_In the flurry of writing, I forgot I had a chapter ready to post. I also didn't do review replies due to my writing spree. Bad author, no biscuit._

_I hope it helps to know that because of all this I have 3.5 chapters written, 1.5 more to go._

_Blah, blah, blah. Long A/N. TL:dr_

_So here goes. And thanks again for everyone still reading along. Y'all rock my socks. And for those reviewing, and/or doing the favorite/alert thing? You're putting the extra smile in my day._

_I'm off for a week with family on Lake Erie. Pray for me =)_

* * *

Saturday dawned sunny and warm...and straight back into the surreal.

It wasn't often that I woke to bright sunshine in the first place. My usual mornings were covered in driving rain or, at the very least, clouds. Couple that unfamiliar sunshine with sleepy sex and French toast and bacon on a sunlit pool deck with the sexiest woman in the world across the table from me? At some point I was going to have to start pinching myself.

It was almost funny. A full day into my trip to Hollywood and finally, something had lived up to my imaginings. Who hadn't thought this was the way movie stars had breakfast every morning? Maybe it wasn't exactly the stereotype – no uniformed cook had prepared the meal, no maid had served it, the table wasn't elegantly appointed, and there wasn't a string quartet playing off to the side. Instead, we'd made the food ourselves (or tried to) and were eating it on a dish set from Target. Our quartet was made up of lawnmowers, pressure washers and at least one Harley.

I chuckled softly, because I much preferred reality.

Bella looking up at my laugh with a crooked brow. "Something funny about the toast?"

"Nope," I answered, swallowing the last of it. "Just thinking that for once, something's exactly how I pictured it."

Bella groaned. "What is? Sitting across from someone still rumpled from sleep at eleven in the morning and eating soggy French toast and burned bacon because I've never learned to cook?"

I wasn't going to touch the bacon comment. It _was_ burned beyond recognition. We both knew it, why call attention to the obvious? Instead, I waggled my eyebrows. "You're not rumpled from _sleep_, Bella."

She grinned back. "No, I'm not, am I? I'm rumpled from a full morning dose of my new favorite morning routine. Beats hell out of the treadmill." She gave a languid stretch that had her shirt pulling in interesting directions and my libido waking up again.

Her eyes appraised me.

"What?"

"You know you're not looking all spit and polish, either, right?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm not?"

"No chance. Your head is covered by the most wicked case of sex hair I've ever seen."

"Sex hair?" Another pull of my fingers through it, as if that might somehow set it right.

"I don't make up the names, I just use 'em when they're appropriate. And believe me, it's appropriate. You look like you've been ridden hard with your hair used for reins."

A grin quirked my lips and I shot her a leer back. "Couldn't have described it better myself."

Bella's blushed bloomed like the flowers in the pots beside her.

"Careful, Cullen. You don't tone down the smug a little, I might be tempted to take a picture of your hair like that and make Zaf recreate that look for tonight."

"Zaf?"

"Zafrina. My stylist."

My eyes widened at that. She had personal hair stylist? I'd heard nurses blather to each other about wanting to hire someone to get them ready in the morning. Never occurred to me that some people actually _did_ that. "Is she, I mean, does she work for you like Alice?"

"Sort of, but not quite the same. She's not like, living in my house, waiting for me to come out of the shower every day to pull my hair into a ponytail and smear on lip gloss for me. She only does my hair and makeup for movies and for special events."

"How does that work? I mean, all of the sudden you've got this premiere, what if she was on another job?"

"Then I'd ask Senna, her partner, or get someone else."

"You wouldn't just do it yourself?"

Her head shook. "Not for something like this. Everyday stuff isn't a problem, but for the cameras that'll be around? It takes a skilled hand to know how much makeup to use so that I look attractive and not Tammy Faye, or worse, utterly washed out. A friend tried to do her own makeup once; they'd had a fight with her stylist over a haircut or something just as stupid. Next thing she knew, the gossip sites were using the pictures from the premiere and reporting that she was on death's door from drug addiction."

I'd seen a few pictures like that, waiting in line at the grocery store. It was so weird, finding out the little truths behind the things I'd taken at face value my whole life.

"I got lucky, though, and Zaf's available. She'll be here to pretty me up in a little bit."

"Easy job."

The blush was back. God if wasn't the sexiest thing, her cheeks all pinked up from just my words. I stopped that train before it could get much speed, otherwise I'd end up with a divining rod in my sweats.

There was a moment or two of silence. A weed whacker powered up a few houses away.

"We, ah. We never did talk about what happened. The whole Tanya thing," she added at my confused look.

I shrugged. "Not much to talk about. Tracy explained it, that the woman who runs the site was probably tipped off by someone who recognized me."

"And the article that went with it?"

I'd wondered if she'd read it, now I knew. "The article was just what you'd said those assholes write. They create their own theories about what's going on, with no substance behind it or worry about journalistic integrity."

Her hand came across the table, fingers threading with mine. "And the bit about you? About us playing doctor?"

I saw the worry on her face, watched her bottom lip get tangled up in her teeth. I gave her hand a squeeze and a smile that was more a leer than anything else. "Well, for once they got something right, didn't they?"

It took her a second to put together that I wasn't upset about the inferred slur on my professional name.

"You're not...upset?"

"Not really, no. It's all crap, like you said. They say whatever they want to because they can." I laughed. "Don't think I didn't notice the way she managed to skirt libel by making her little inference a question."

Bella smiled a little, but she was still nibbling on her lower lip. "They're really good at that."

I pushed away from the table and opened my arms. "Come here."

She didn't hesitate. One second she was sitting on her chair looking halfway to miserable, next she was curled onto my lap like an oversized kitten. My arms came around her at once, holding her to me, one hand idly stroking her back.

"You're really okay with it?"

"I don't know that I'd say I was okay with it, but I'm not about to let something some gossip reporter said come between us, either."

Bella's shoulders relaxed and her body curled into mine. I played with a few loose strands of her hair, puzzling over the half truth. I truly didn't want this woman's crap to throw a wrench into my relationship with Bella. On the other hand, I'd gone through many nights of testicular hell all in the name of keeping my professional reputation solid where this woman was concerned. And now, at least for those that believed what they read, there was a totally unearned smudge on that.

And I had no legal recourse except the ostrich defense of ignore it and it'll go away.

As I listened to her soft breathing, though, I knew that I had little choice in the matter. If I wanted to keep the woman in my arms, it meant keeping all of her – good and bad. So I'd just have to find some thicker skin, pull on my big boy boxers and deal.

"I really did pick an amazing man to fall in love with." I felt her wiggle a little in my lap, felt her lips press against my throat, felt the tip of her tongue flick along my skin.

Something in my big boy boxers came back to life.

"Did you?" My voice sounded like a bucket being dragged over concrete.

"Mmmhmm."

Her lips were at my ear now, tongue swirling the outer shell, dipping inside, teeth worrying my earlobe.

"Bella," I warned when she shifted against my lap.

"Hmmm?"

She shifted again, this time deliberately wiggling her little backside against my dick. It sprang to attention in response. I let my head fall back on a groan. "Going to kill me, woman."

I both heard and felt her chuckle, lips vibrating along my throat. "And you'll die smiling."

She moved again and I felt her breath at my chest, teeth worrying my nipple to peak through the old cotton t-shirt I'd thrown on when we came downstairs. I raised my head again when her weight left my lap and a breeze hit my stomach. Bella was pulling my shirt up to kiss along my abdomen. Her body settled between my legs, chest rubbing against my cock, now tenting my sweatpants.

"Bella...wh-what are you doing?"

She looked up at me as she pulled at my waistband. "I should think that's obvious."

My eyes were still locked on hers when she pulled my cock free. I felt it surge in response and had to clench my whole body to regain control. "Fucking hell."

"Don't mind, do you?"

"No..." I managed, "but...we're out—ohfuck ."

I'd meant to say we were outside. Bella's tongue distracted me. God, did it ever.

"No one can see us, Edward, my backyard is secluded. I made sure of it."

"Why?" I managed to ask with my one functioning brain cell.

"Because I don't own a bathing suit."

There was one flash in my mind of Bella swimming naked in the pool behind me. One groan as my cock surged again. Then her lips closed around me and all thoughts of anything were gone. There was just me, just Bella. I watched her dark head bob slowly up and down, watched her lips tighten around my shaft just as I felt her tongue tracing its contours. Whatever hesitancy she'd felt that first morning was long gone. She knew my cock as well as I did, knew what I liked, what I didn't, and her mouth was fucking amazing.

Though Bella knew when my orgasm neared, I murmured her name in warning just the same. She didn't move. Her lips closed tighter, her small hand slipped up my thigh, inside my pants, and cupped my balls. I moaned once, trying to hold back. Then her fingers gave me a little squeeze, a delicate fingertip stroking just behind my balls and I was lost. My orgasm wrenched out of me on a shout that scared birds from a nearby tree, my body overtaken with spasms that left me trembling. Bella's mouth didn't leave me until the last tremor stopped.

She carefully tucked me back into my pants and resumed her position on my lap, head resting on my chest. I wanted to say something, opened my mouth a few times, but then gave up with a sigh. My blood-starved brain wasn't functioning enough for speech yet.

By her little chuckle and the kiss just below my ear, I knew I didn't have to say anything.

Bella already knew.

"I love you, too," she breathed against my ear.

There wasn't a need, or want for words after that. Both of us content for the quiet company of the morning, both of us dropping into an occasional doze, or waking enough to talk quietly about small, stupid things.

That peace was broken an hour or so later by the sound of voices from inside Bella's house.

"Bellissima! We're here! _Andiamo, cara_! I've plucking and waxing and curling and primping to do! Snap to it!"

The slight woman in my lap groaned.

"What is that?" I said, my brain slow to re-engage.

"That is Zafrina," said a boisterous voice directly behind me. "A beauty so great, all of Italia still weeps at its loss. Also the best stylist in the whole of the San Fernando Valley, sought by all, attending to few."

"And modest with it," Bella said with a grin.

I turned my head enough to see the owner of the voice. There was no other name for her – the woman was a gypsy.

From this angle, I couldn't tell if she was wearing a dress or a just a shitload of scarves in close formation. In the end, I decided there was probably a dress in there somewhere. It was just easier than the fear that I was one stray breeze away from being flashed. The scarf/dress thing ended somewhere around mid-calf, the tips of the scarves brushing against ankles circled in gold chains. Scarves were woven into very long black hair, the bangs of which framed a very minimally made up face. So minimal I doubted there was any makeup there at all – and make up was the last thing this woman needed.

What was it with this area and beautiful, exotic women? Leah's long and lean Native American and this woman's tiny yet powerfully beautiful Mediterranean. I began to thank my lucky stars I'd grown up in Forks. If I'd spent my adolescence surrounded by so many gorgeous women, I'd have never left my room.

And I'd most likely be blind.

Zafrina stepped out onto the deck and walked over (thank God Bella'd pulled my pants back up earlier.) She stood over us while she ran a critical eye up and down.

"_Che macello_! Bellisima, what have you done to yourself?"

My back went up at once over the veiled insult. Bella must have sensed this because she kissed my cheek and whispered to me, "she's always like this. It's all right."

It wasn't all right, though. Not to me.

"Actually, she's been through a fairly serious car accident, two badly broken bones, a cast, one rod in her leg, a concussion, and weeks of grueling physical therapy."

I glared at the makeup artist, she met my look straight on for nearly a full minute before a smile stretched her face.

"Found one with grit, have you,_ tesorina_? Good. This is what you needed. I like him, he reminds me of Alisa." She nodded once, as if we weren't official until she'd given her approval. "But there is little time for ego stroking. We've got hours only to get you ready and I'll need every one. The _amore_ can do the dishes while we get busy. Senna will not be here for hours yet to see to him."

My radar went off. I'd really thought (hoped?) Bella was kidding about that part. "Pardon?"

Bella giggled as she eased off my lap. "Did you think I was kidding? Senna is Zaf's partner, and she'll be here to get you all prettied up as well."

"Oh, God." I buried my head in my hands.

"Relax. Compared to what I'm facing, you'll get off easy. Just a wash, style, shave and manicure."

"Would it do any good to state that I'm capable of doing all those things myself?"

Zafrina answered before Bella could. "And I could wrap my own broken bones in plaster, couldn't I, _doctore_? Doesn't mean I should."

My mouth opened, shut. There was nothing to say; the woman had a point and I conceded it.

"_Essato_," she said with another superior nod, then the little gypsy pulled Bella away and up the stairs, dragging a suitcase behind her.

All things considered, the pampering session wasn't quite as bad as I'd thought. True I was going to have to bribe Alice and Bella both to keep Em from ever finding out I'd had a manicure, but still, it was a tolerable afternoon.

My other hidden horror – that Christophe would, for some reason, show up to help me into my suit personally – was quickly proven unfounded. Senna herself walked the suit up and hung it on the back of the guest room door when she came up to do my primping.

My questions about why Bella and I couldn't get ready in the same room were met with a one word response from Zafrina (No _bacio)_, a second before she slammed the door in my face. A quick look on my phone's search engine and I had to admit that the gypsy had a point. If I was in the room with Bella, there would very probably be kissing involved.

Which lead me to where I now stood, near the front entry to Bella's house and chatting with Bill, the guy that'd driven us home the day before. We were halfway through a Dodgers vs. Mariners debate when the phone in my pocket trilled.

I frowned at the name on the screen. "Jake?"

"Hey, Captain America. Where are you two?"

"I'm discussing the superiority of the Seattle infield with Bill while we wait for Zafrina to release Bella from the chamber of horrors."

I heard a reluctant chuckle in my ear. "I'm going to have to remember that one."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. So. How're you holding up? Ready for the circus?"

I snorted. "Depends. Am I the clown, the lion tamer…or the lion?"

"Nothing quite so grand, I'm afraid. Bella's the lion, I'm the tamer, and you're Timmy the dog faced boy."

"Nice."

"I thought so."

"You have anything productive to say?"

I heard him laugh, heard a voice tell him to be nice. A muffled conversation followed, then what I was positive was kissing. As Jake had endured Bella and I at it, I gave him the courtesy he never did us and kept my mouth zipped.

"Edward?"

"My turn now?"

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"No, you're not."

"No. I'm not," he agreed with a laugh. "Anyway, I just wanted to give you a few pointers about tonight."

My eyebrows knit together. "What kind of pointers, like, don't pick my nose or make crotch adjustments while we're there?"

"Christ, Cullen, I'd kind of hoped your mother might've covered that sort of thing by now. You do make a good point, though. Always assume a camera is pointed at you at any time, unless you're in the bathroom. _Some_ things are sacrosanct, and that includes pissing."

"Good to know." My collar suddenly felt very, very tight. "Anything else?"

"Just a few little things. Make sure she isn't commandeered by any one reporter for longer than a few minutes, make sure neither of you says anything beyond basic plot set up for _Shattered_ and no screwing in the bathrooms during the movie – or, if you can't control yourself, at least try to not get caught at it."

"She'd kill you if you said that last part to her, you know."

"I know. That's why I said it to you."

I muttered something foul, pretty sure Jake got the gist of it. "You sure you don't want to do this, just in case I fuck it up?" Something that was looking more and more probable with every passing second.

"You'll be fine."

I was about to protest that assertion when I heard a sound at the top of the stairs. My eyes traveled up, and my brain shut down. I think I managed to say goodbye to Jake before I hung up. I don't remember. I was too busy being stunned stupid.

Logically, I know Bella didn't do a beauty queen version of a stair descent. I knew she walked down the stairs just as she always did, slowly, carefully, and with both hands on the hand rails to keep her long-running battle with gravity from interfering.

Mentally, however, I saw it all happen in slow motion, every step that brought this gorgeous woman closer and closer to me.

She was wearing…well, I wasn't sure if it counted as a dress. I always thought dresses had more material. Whatever, it didn't have any pants to it. Just miles and miles of her incredible legs. It was a deep blue that shimmered when the light hit it, and it accentuated every curve Bella had in such a way, I knew I'd spend a lot of my night thinking about box scores and Grandma Cullen's attempt at a bikini a few years ago.

"Hi," she said when she made it down the staircase. Her eyes were wide, beaming, and her pupils a bit dilated. Apparently, she was having the same problem I was. Something told me it was going to be a very long night.

"God, you look fucking incredible."

I felt the heat on my cheeks, and didn't care. "I was about to say the same about you."

"Thank you. The dress would look better with heels, but…"

"Not for at least another six months," I finished before I could stop myself.

"Hmm, maybe I want you back as my doctor. Lauren said a year."

I found her eyes, captured them with my own, knowing every ounce of my desire was reflected back in them. "That can be arranged."

"Not a chance. I'll take the lack of heels if it comes with…other compensations."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

Her eyes twinkled impishly and the pink tip of her tongue darted out to moisten red lips. "I'd show you hands on, but we've got an audience."

"You really are thinking to kill me."

"At least you'll die smiling?"

"Damn right."

She laughed and I leaned in to kiss her.

"_Basta_!"

Zafrina's voice drilled down the stairs and into the little world we'd spun for ourselves with all the subtlety as a bucket of ice water to the lap.

"Zaf?" Bella asked.

"No, no, no. _Ragazzo_, you keep your hands and lips to yourself. I won't have her show up looking like she's come from bed."

"I'll be careful?"

She raised an already arched brow at me. "You say that as if it's possible."

I looked from Zafrina to Bella and sighed my second defeat. She was right. Again. I hadn't ever been able to stop with one kiss before, I was pretty sure it'd be impossible now.

"All right, all right. Hands and lips to myself, I promise."

"Just so," she said to me on a single nod before turning to Bella. "You are truly beautiful, _ma bellissima_. Have a good time. You can rumple her all you want on the way home," she added as she kissed my cheek in passing on the way out the door.

After that it was time to be on our way. I could see by the look on Bill the driver's face, he'd have preferred us gone ten minutes before, but I was pretty sure that affliction ailed just about every man alive at one point or another.

Bella and I made small talk on the way over. I told her about Jake's phone call of moral support, and informed her that I'd never be getting another manicure again (there was something about having another person going at the hands that meant my livelihood with a sharp implement that just didn't sit comfortably with me.)

I looked out the front window when I felt the car decelerate. I groaned. There they were. Another sea of pit vipers with cameras draped 'round their necks. Then I caught sight of Bella's shoes and groaned again.

"Edward? What is it?"

"Those shoes. You're never going to be able to run for it wearing those."

She laughed and touched my cheek, confusion pouring through me. "Oh, Edward. We don't run from these guys. This is the legitimate press. For these guys I'll stand still, smile a lot, and look at as many of them as I can so they get their own pictures for their sites and magazines."

Bill opened the door for us then and I saw one of the assholes look in; it took seconds for word to spread it was Bella inside the car and a chorus started up. Every voice calling out her name.

My hands clenched.

"Trust me, Edward. No one will be calling out anything insulting, just my name. They try that route and they'll have their press passes pulled for it, not just here, but at every premiere for a very long time. None of them are about to risk that."

It was hard to shift gears from hatred to acceptance. I gave it my best shot, though, and tried to keep my face blank when I got out of the car and turned to hold my hand out to Bella.

The camera clicks started immediately. As did the shouts.

Shouts of "Bella! Over here!"

Then, along with that, shouts of "Edward, over here! How about a smile?"

I turned back to Bella, eyes wide. _Me? _ I mouthed at her

She just smiled and walked forward to lay her cheek against mine. "Your choice entirely, but they have your name now, they're going to use it." Another soft press, cheek to cheek, and Bella stepped away to smile and wave at the small sea of cameras.

I stayed in the background as she moved slowly down the line of reporters, giving interviews and greeting friends. I'd taken to running through my medical school mnemonics – bones, muscles, lymphatic system – to count the time she was with each reporter. If I got to the end of whatever I was reciting, I'd put my hand on the small of her back and she excused herself to move down the line.

Every now and then I'd respond to my name, look up and smile what was probably the dorkiest smile ever recorded. I could see the headlines now – Bella Swan and the Dorky Doctor.

I was still chuckling to myself over that when Bella came up and took both of my hands in hers. "Having fun?"

"Yep. Trying to figure out the headlines after this, all wondering what you're doing with such an utter dork."

Bella laughed and kissed the tip of my nose. "So the dork and the geek get together. No big story there, happens in high schools all over the place."

I smiled and pressed my forehead against hers. While I might not agree, I knew what she was trying to do. She wanted me to put us back in Forks, where we were just Bella and Edward. For a moment, I let my mind wander – what would have happened if Renee had been a bit heartier and not insisted her husband move them from the wet wilds of the Pacific Northwest. If Bella had stayed in Forks, met Alice in elementary school rather than in the course of her career. If I'd first met her with pigtails and gap-toothed grins rather than on a movie screen.

I heard a click close to my ear and that pulled me from my little mental vacation. Bella's brown eyes were close to my own, a curious expression on her face.

"What's that smile for?"

I kissed her forehead and shook my head. "Nothing."

She didn't say anything, just continued to stare at me.

"All right. I was thinking of what might have been, if you'd stayed in Forks rather than moving away when you were still a baby."

It didn't take her long to follow my train of thought because we'd been there before, back on my sofa in Forks, talking about her probable crush on me when she was that high school geek.

She smiled, and I followed. "I'd like to think we'd be right where we are now," she said.

"On a red carpet with cameras in our faces?" I joked.

"No. In each others arms."

My heart gave an almost painful thud in my chest. I wanted to do nothing more than lower my head and kiss away every bit of work Zafrina had done, but as I wouldn't put it past the woman to put some sort of curse on me for it, I stopped myself. The increase in Bella's breathing told me she very much wanted the same.

We settled for mouthed declarations and eyes promising that at the first available second, clothes would be flying.

Then Bella was pulled away to speak to someone else and I was left to get us something to drink at the bar...and pray that the loose fit of the suit hid the slightly altered measurements in my inseam.

I was pretty sure that photographic proof of a trouser tent wasn't the sort of press Bella was looking for out of this event.

The movie itself was actually very well done for something Bella told me had been done on a shoestring budget. Funny and touching at the same time, I found myself quite engaged in the plot and cheering for the hapless hero at the end. Bella's cameo as herself had me laughing out loud, along with the rest of the theater. I kissed her cheek when her scene was over, surprised to see her hands over her eyes. I'd forgotten; Bella hated watching herself on screen.

She explained there'd be a small reception in the lobby afterwards and then we could head ourselves back to her house. "Ten minutes, tops," she'd promised.

Bella was pulled into conversation with Paul and two men that practically screamed "self-important," so I left them to that discussion and went in search of a beer.

It didn't take me long to find a portable cash bar. I got a beer for myself and a glass of white wine for Bella, knowing that champagne gave her a headache and she'd be avoiding the roving trays of it. I had one in each hand as I turned to walk back to her, and found myself face to face with a pair of very prominent breasts. Medically, I was pretty sure there was an actual woman attached to them, but the eye went where the eye went.

"Ah, excuse me," I said politely, trying to maneuver my way around them, her.

"No need for excuses, Edward."

That stopped me and I finally found my way around the silicone to an overly made up face. Somehow, that didn't surprise me.

"I'm sorry, have we met?"

I knew we hadn't. This woman would have made several lasting impressions, but polite was practically beaten into me from the cradle, so I went with that rather than what I really wanted to say: "Who the hell are you?"

"Not formally. Doesn't matter, though. We're all a big family here in LaLa land. I'm Simone Fabress."

She extended a hand I couldn't shake as both of mine were full. With a smile that made me feel like a mouse under the paw of a very large cat, she leaned in to kiss my cheek instead.

"Pleasure to meet you," I lied with what I hoped was a believable smile. "I'm Edward Cullen."

She trilled a fake laugh. "Oh I know that. You're the talk of the town today, Edward. Everyone's wondering just how you got our sweet Bella practically skipping through the tulips. I have to admit, I'm just as curious as the rest of them."

My eyes started darting around for an escape, any escape. Unfortunately, Bella's back was to me as she talked to another group of people, a few faces familiar to me.

Fuck. I was stuck with Elvira.

"So tell me," she continued, moving a step closer, "if I'm interested in playing doctor, too, how do I make an appointment?"

The next thing I felt was her hand on my dick.

I nearly dumped the wine in my hand all over her when I jumped backwards.

"What the...?"

"Edward?"

I turned toward Bella's voice, right behind me. "Is that for me? Thanks, sweetheart." She took the glass from my hand and turned to Simone with a smile like razor blades.

"Simone. So good to see you again. I didn't realize you'd be here."

They leaned in for a make-up saving cheek brush in greeting.

"Bella, darling, of course I wouldn't miss it."

"I thought Paul dumped you when he found out you were fucking the boom operator behind his back."

Simone's eyes widened only once before her face was back to its acid smile. "Not at all, we parted the best of friends."

"Really?" Bella said and sipped from her glass. "Must be why he's pushing people aside to get over here and say hello."

Simone didn't even pause to look behind her. She just bolted past us with a hurried goodbye.

Bella turned back to me and the beer I'd somehow managed to drain during their brief conversation. "Are you all right?"

"Bella, I-"

I had no idea what the protocol was for having my dick fondled in a crowded room by a complete stranger.

"Damn it. She got you, didn't she? Denis thought he saw her move in for the grab, I was hoping I'd get here in time."

My eyes bugged. "You knew she'd grab me?"

"Not as such. But when he told me she'd waylaid you, I knew it might happen. I tried to get over here as soon as I could, but you don't interrupt a producer. Ever." She blew out an exaggerated breath. "Don't worry about her. Simone's kind of like the kid in school that only wanted the toys other kids were playing with."

"So that makes me, what, a fully functional Ken doll?" Humiliation put venom in my voice.

"No, Edward, I didn't mean it that way."

"Then what way did you mean it?"

I felt her soft fingers wiping at my cheek. I looked down then, into the soft, wet eyes looking straight into mine. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I should have stayed with you, or kept you in sight."

I know she meant it to soothe me, but all it did was piss me off further.

"I'm not some little kid that you have to watch every second. Believe it or not, I've actually handled myself just fine over the past thirty-three years, even around bored wives looking for a cheap thrill with the single guy at medical conferences. I'm just never in an exactly good mood after it happens."

Bella nodded once. "All right."

We both stared at each other. I knew I should say something. I just couldn't for the life of me think what it should be.

"There's a little café area upstairs, if you need some space. There shouldn't be anyone up there now. Or you can call Bill and he'll take you back home if you'd rather."

She took a step away from me. I felt something tear inside me.

"Bella?"

She turned back and I held out my hand. I felt her fingers, cold and shaking, and pulled her close. The tear I felt repaired itself as soon as she was back in my arms. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"I shouldn't have belittled you."

"You didn't." Pause. Kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too. So much."

Our eyes met, held, danced with each other to music only we could hear while the other guests milled around us.

"I hope Zafrina doesn't curse me for this."

Before she could ask what I meant, my lips covered hers in a kiss. A kiss that grew, mutated, and left us calling for Bill the driver, making a hasty exit, and barely making it home.

Later, I watched as Bella slept, delightfully rumpled with all of Zafrina's hard work laid to waste. I played the night back, highs and lows several times as sleep started to tug at me. It hadn't been at all what I'd expected, but it hadn't been all bad, either. At least I'd made it through and, so far as I knew, hadn't made too much of an ass of myself.

My last thought before I pulled Bella into me little spoon style, was that I was glad tomorrow was Sunday.

I couldn't wait to get back home again.

* * *

_Andiamo_ – Let's go

_Che macello_ – What a mess.

_Essato_ – Exactly

_Basta_! – Stop!

_Ragazzo_ - boyfriend


	19. Chapter 19

_Sorry for the delay on this one – blame a really ugly witch named Irene. The remaining chapters are written – just polish and beta left. Barring any more fun from the tropics, there shouldn't be any major delays._

_Thanks, as ever, to those alerting/favoriting/reviewing because you make my inbox happy._

* * *

Chapter 19

We awoke the next morning to good news and bad. On the good side, Paul's film received excellent early reviews from a few notable critics. That was enough to give it legs, according to the email he'd sent in the wee hours, and it was going to get a limited distribution. I called straight back knowing he'd still be awake and celebrated quietly with him while Edward woke slowly beside me. That conversation was cut short when Edward's fingers awoke enough to make talking on the phone close to impossible.

The bad came via text message a little later – Leah passing on the gossip reports from the night before. Some enterprising jerk had managed to get into the after party for the premiere and snapped a few pictures. Thankfully, the shots were grainy and impossible to make out.

Almost.

The worst one was, of course, the clearest of the lot. A clear shot of Edward, with Simone's hand on his crotch and a drink in each hand. Then, because fate has a sick and twisted sense of humor, the grimace on his face looked more like a smile.

The article Tanya'd written just capped it.

_Doc Hollywood_

_It seems our fair Doctor Cullen, arm candy of one Bella Swan, wasted no time putting out his shingle, among other things, after his arrival in our fair city. Seen here with double-D slasher-star of the upcoming _Torturehouse_, Simone Fabress, it appears our newest resident is being welcomed with open…arms._

_Attentive towards Bella at on arrival, the good Doctor wasted no time finding other potential patients to fill the waiting room. While no others caught his eye that night and he left early and in liplock with Bella, we can only speculate over how many will be queuing up and whether Edward's bedside manner is LA County General…or Marvin Gaye._

I only managed to keep from throwing my phone across the room because Edward clued in and took it from my hands before I could launch it. I settled instead for screaming until I was hoarse, vowing vengeance on everyone from the nonexistent security to Tayna herself, and throwing every pillow off my bed and onto the floor until the adrenaline rush passed.

Somewhere in the midst of my rant, Edward slipped out of bed and into the shower. Probably to escape any possible pillow shrapnel. By the time he emerged, I had three-way call going with Jake and Seth about suing the little bitch for libel and shutting her down. I was also doing a quick internet search on medieval torture devices. It was a long-shot, but I thought with a big enough donation, I might be able to borrow one from the Smithsonian, or something.

I really, _really_ liked the idea of Tanya and a pair of thumb screws.

I looked up when he stepped out of the bathroom wearing just a towel, water dripping down his chest. My concentration was utterly shot in that one glance. Christ. The man should be illegal. With some not inconsiderable effort, I managed to pull my attention back to the matter at hand.

"I don't particular care, Jake. You get in touch with that bitch and you tell her if she doesn't print a fucking retraction pronto I'll risk the headlines to drag her bony little ass to court!"

I pushed the end button on my cell and tossed it to the mattress. I looked up at Edward, now toweling his hair into an even bigger mess. "Times like now I miss the old-style phones. There's just something so much more satisfying about slamming a phone down."

He looked at me calmly, one eyebrow in a high arch. "You had a phone like that?"

I shrugged. I hadn't, not in real life anyway, and I really didn't want to be calling attention to my career right now. "In a matter of speaking," I hedged.

"_Backlashes_?" he supplied, one corner of his mouth quirking at me crookedly. "One of my favorites."

I nodded and walked across the room and straight into his arms, a little whimper escaped me when his arms wrapped me in tight.

"It's all right, Bella."

My head shook against his chest. "No, it's not. I won't have her coming after you. I won't. This is my job, not yours. You're off limits."

I felt pressure against the top of my head. His lips. "I appreciate the whole Mama Bear thing, Bella, I do. It's just not necessary. It became my job too, when I took you to that premiere last night."

I started to protest and was promptly cut off. "I knew this job was dangerous when I took it. You've never shied away from the press that surrounds you. It didn't take me long to realize I'd be included. Hell, one trip through the airport made that pretty damned clear. If I'd wanted to stay in the shadows, I'd have let you go alone through that gauntlet and followed behind after they left."

"But…"

I was silenced with a deep, lingering kiss. "No 'buts,' Bella. It is what it is. Don't give it any more importance than it deserves."

"And the slurs she's making on you, professionally?"

"As you said. I know they're not true, you know they're not true, I'm fairly sure every resident of the greater Olympic peninsula knows they're not true. That's what matters."

I pulled back, my eyes searching his for any sign that he was saying these things to placate me. I found nothing. Just the love I felt for him reflected straight back at me.

"I love you, Bella. All of you. Every part from the little snores you make in the middle of the night to the horde of cameras and yells that follow you around in public."

My heart swelled, my eyes filled, and then I smacked his arm. "I do _not_ snore."

His grin grew, tugging the corners of his mouth. "Yeah. You do."

"Do not."

"I'm the one awake, so I'd be the one that knows."

"Pictures or it didn't happen."

"You can't take a picture of a snore."

"Audio, then."

"Kinda thought you'd say that." The quirky little smile didn't lessen as he walked over to the bedside table and picked up his cell phone. A few touches later and I heard what was unmistakably a soft, snuffling snore.

"That could be anyone," I said in answer to his smug expression. "I concede nothing."

"Wanna bet I can make you?" His hands were on the twist that held his towel shut.

"Don't flatter yourself. You're not that persuasive." I was already backing towards the bed.

He took another step towards me. "Is it conceited if I only speak the truth?"

"Careful, that kind of arrogance will have me thinking you believe your own press."

If I could have kicked my own ass, I would have. How stupid could I be, reminding him of that stupid article? _Way to be a buzzkill, Bella _I mentally berated myself.

When I looked at him, though, there was nothing even remotely buzzkill-y about him. Edward was still advancing, his towel was gone, and, oh damn, was he ever still in the mood.

"If you think I'm going to start humming Marvin Gaye during sex, Bella Swan, you'd better think again."

It was impossible, it was incredible, and it was undeniably true. Edward was joking about it, teasing me about something that should have probably had him at the very least annoyed and at worst pissed off and throwing things like I had.

I found and held his eyes. "I love you," I said softly, and I was sure I'd never meant it more in my life.

His arms were around me, his lips on my brow, down the slope of my nose. I felt the warm breath of his laugh against my cheek, and the heat of his cock pressed against my belly. "So you concede then?"

It took me a minute to get back to the discussion we'd been having before I ended up with a very naked, very aroused Edward in my arms. Right. He'd accused me of snoring.

My head shook. "Never."

"We'll see about that."

To my credit, I gave it the good fight until I finally admitted defeat, sweaty and sated to the point I was still smiling three hours later as our plane took off, bound for Washington.

x.x.x.

I knew we were living on borrowed time.

Oh, things went back to normal when we got back to Forks. Edward went back to work at the hospital (thankfully, there'd been no professional fallout from Tanya's little article), and I went back to therapy and catching up on fan mail. We spent our evenings with dinner and video games or movies. He continued to wipe the board with me at chess, and I maintained my _Halo_ and _Call of Duty_ dominance. We fell asleep every night wrapped in each other's arms. We woke the same way, a tangle of limbs and sheets, touching in as many places as possible.

It was as if even our unconscious minds knew the inevitable was approaching. When the life I led would finally crash against the life I'd been living. Again.

And this time, it wouldn't be for a weekend.

The first hint of the crash came a few days after we'd returned…when the vultures found their way back to the Port.

This time, however, they hadn't necessarily come for me. The handful waiting outside of the OMC were asking where I was, and calling Edward's name as well. When it became apparent that I didn't go to work with Edward, most of them stopped showing up. A few had remained, and had made it their job to twist Edward up as often as possible by calling his name, and other choice comments, at him as he'd walked from his car to the hospital. When they started that, he started parking underground by the loading dock where I'd made my escape months ago, the entrance now guarded by a uniformed security guard.

Esme'd commented that she'd seen a few of them milling around Forks – strangers with cameras, she'd said – so far, though, that hadn't turned into the third ring of our little circus.

I knew, though, that it was only a matter of time.

The question was which would happen first. The paparazzi finding Edward's house...or my no longer living in it? I usually shied away from that thought. It just hurt too much.

Unfortunately, I couldn't shy away from it today. Reality had popped up and smacked me in the face. And this time, it wasn't leaving.

I stared at the cell phone I'd just put back on the counter and tried to tell myself I wasn't hearing an alarm go off in the distance. An alarm whose sole duty it was to end my borrowed time.

I managed to keep from saying it out loud until later that night, when we were lying tangled in the sheets.

"Tell me," Edward said into the quiet. It was as if he'd known I'd been keeping something from him. Right. Who was I kidding? Of course he'd known. He could read me like an x-ray.

I took a breath and turned to look at him. It shouldn't have been a difficult thing, sprawled across his chest as I was, but sometimes difficult was more than just the physical act.

"Alice called today."

I saw him smile, so happy for his sister and the love she'd found in a bassist she'd met via one of her worst nightmares – a set-up by her mother. "How is she? Still enjoying life on the road?"

Moment of truth.

"She's not on the road. She's back in Los Angeles. Jasper went with her now that Robbie's tour is over and he's gone back to London for awhile. He's going to try and get a little more permanent work now that he's got a taste of live performances beyond open mic night in Port Angeles."

"Moving in with her?"

"She didn't say."

"Implied?"

"Yeah, it was. Heavily."

"Separate bedrooms?"

"If you like," I smiled back with a little laugh.

Edward grumbled. I was watching his face, so I saw when realization dawned. "She called you."

"Yes."

"So Jasper gave her phone back." He'd agreed with my supposition that Jasper'd stolen her phone to keep her well and truly on vacation.

"Yes." So much pain for three little letters.

"Vacation's over."

I nodded. I didn't have the words. Couldn't have given them voice even if I did.

Edward's arms were tight around me then, crushing me to his chest. I didn't mind the pressure, I welcomed it. It meant I was still here, still with him. My head dropped, my lips peppering his chest with kisses.

"When?"

"Four days. I'm due at the studio for hair, makeup and costume tests on the fifteenth."

Four days. My flight was booked, car services scheduled.

Four days.

"I don't want to go," I said at last, breaking the silence.

He sighed. "Yeah, you do."

My head popped up, eyes wild. "What are you saying?"

"Hang on, I didn't mean that I think you're over there mentally counting down the hours until you can leave me finally. At least I hope you're not," he stopped for a weak chuckle. "All I meant was that you want to go because you're ready to go back to work, you miss it."

I wanted to deny that more than I've ever wanted to deny anything in my life.

The trouble was...I couldn't.

"Yeah," I admitted. "I do."

"You've been pacing a lot, reading and rereading the script." He laughed, the sound too mirthless to be anything close to funny. "That's what you were doing with Mom the other day, too, isn't it? When I came home early and you were both laughing over your tea?"

I nodded once. "We started talking about it, about movie making. She said she'd always been curious about what scripts looked like – real ones - so I showed her the one from _Terese_ and one thing lead to another." I smiled. "She'd tried playing the male lead, using a deep voice which had the both of us giggling like girls. We stopped when I realized the scene ended with the couple kissing. I wasn't quite ready to go that far with your mom."

We laughed, a strained, almost pitiful sound. Silence fell as the feeble laughter died away.

"Have you...?" I stopped, bit my lip. I'd promised myself I wouldn't do this.

"Have I what?"

"No, forget it."

"Not likely, Bella."

"I promised I wouldn't do this."

"Do what?"

"This."

"Am I supposed to magically divine what the 'this' is that you've promised not to do?"

"No, it's not important."

"Seems to be, if you're working so hard to change the subject."

"Please, Edward, I promised myself."

"Did you also promise yourself not to piss me off? Because if you did, you're doing a crappy job at it."

That got my back up, as he knew it would.

"Fine. Have you ever thought about maybe coming with me?"

I waited for what I knew was coming – a lot of stuttering and err-ing and I'll have to think about it-ing.

"I have, actually. Thought about it."

I sat straight up, taken completely by surprise, my eyes blinking owlishly down at him.

"You have? When?"

"Since we got back from LA," he admitted. "I even looked into what it'll take to get licensed in California. I just. I wasn't sure that's what you'd want, since you never mentioned it before, so I didn't say anything."

"I just...I thought. I didn't want to be like...like... You have what you always wanted here, your practice in the Port, bringing your degree home and not some glitzy life that isn't you." I was trying very hard not to mention _her_ name, even though we both knew it was implied.

"There's one main difference," Edward said softly as his hands found my face, his thumbs along my cheekbones. There was something in his face, an air of determination I'd never heard in his voice before – almost like he was trying to convince himself as well as me.

"What's that?"

"This time it's my choice, Bella. I knew, somehow, that I could live just fine without Amalie, and I did, for many years. I know without doubt I can't live without you. I don't see that changing any time soon."

The moment was frozen. Still. Not even my breath stirred the silence.

"What are you saying?"

His face crinkled into the half-smile I'd fell in love with in the hospital. "I think it's more what I'm asking."

"Now you're pissing _me_ off, Cullen."

"Then marry me, Swan."

I gasped. I blinked. Tears splashed down my cheeks and onto his chest. "I th-" I had to stop, swallow down a lump. "I thought y-you said you were a-asking something."

"You're right, I did. Better remedy that one."

I was in a full flood of tears when he shifted off the bed, pulled me to my feet, then dropped to one knee.

"Isabella Marie Swan. You came into my life with all the subtlety of a runaway truck; you crashed into me and upended my life. I now know I don't ever want it put back, not if that means you're not in it. I can't imagine a day without you, a minute, a second. I love you, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much."

I couldn't speak through the tears. I couldn't breathe for the emotion clogging my throat. All I could do was lean forward and touch his face. I pulled at his shoulders until he stood, raising on my toes to press my lips to his. My arms came tight around him and held, fingertips digging into the flesh of his backside. Edward kissed away the tear tracks from my cheeks, starting little fires in my bloodstream.

"Is that a yes?"

I nodded, forced my voice to the surface. "That's a very definite yes."

I slipped my hand around to his front and cupped his stirring interest. He chuckled. I stroked. He moaned. "Can I help you with something?"

I stroked again. "I was thinking of putting an exclamation point on that yes."

He lowered me to the mattress, slipped straight inside me and together we found several exclamation points, and a few caps lock moments as well.

x.x.x

My last four days in Forks weren't the hell I'd originally dreaded.

When Alice first called, all I could think about was my own impending departure – a departure that wasn't so much a return as it was a huge dead end. That had all changed now. Yeah, there were still hard moments, packing up and shipping all the little things I'd acquired over my two months here, saying goodbye to the friends I'd made in Forks and at the hospital.

For the most part, however, it was more a time of transition. There wasn't any sense of finality about any of those goodbyes. I knew I'd be back – that we'd be back. Holidays, vacations, any time we'd want to get away from the crazy that was life in Hollywood.

We'd decided to wait until dinner my last night in Forks to tell everyone about the engagement. It would be the only time we were all in one place and Edward wanted his family to know at the same time rather than have them all calling each other with the news. Since Alice had flown up to see her parents for the weekend, it was the perfect time.

I knew she'd come up for this last weekend as a consolation to her parents, whom she'd ditched to run off with Jasper. It was great to see the shift in the relationship between my best friend and her mother. I might not know how it had happened, and that didn't matter. What mattered was hearing them off and giggling on the phone or in the kitchen; innocuous sayings setting them off at the oddest times.

It was strange, really. One impulsive idea. A decision to spend a few off months in the wilds of the Pacific Northwest rather than an island somewhere had changed so many lives forever, my own included. It was almost like something I'd play on the screen, but this wasn't a movie. This was real life. My real life.

And one I'd spend from here after with the amazing man beside me.

Edward stood when it looked as though everyone had finished their dinner and Esme was starting to glance towards the kitchen, and the cake we knew was waiting for us there.

"If I can have your attention for a moment, before Mom sends us all into sugar coma with dessert?"

All eyes turned to him and I felt a warmth in my cheeks, like I was being watched. A quick glance told me Alice was staring at me, not her brother. I didn't look back. I kept my eyes determinedly on Edward. If Alice saw my face, she'd read my expression in a heartbeat and I wasn't about to steal Edward's big moment.

"We. Well. We just wanted you all to know that a few nights ago, I asked Bella to marry me. For reasons I still can't figure out, she said yes."

The light classical music that had played as background through our dinner was drown out in the swell of congratulations that followed. Esme and Alice both came straight to me with hugs and kisses, Carlisle and Emmett went to Edward with backslaps and one armed bro-hugs. Emmett's Rosalie (whom he'd finally found the courage to ask out not long after I'd moved in with Edward) sat still in her chair. It wasn't surprising – Rose and I had very little to do with one another. Not out of any real animosity, we just hadn't hit it off.

"Oh, this is so lovely. I'm so happy for you both," Esme said when we all regained our seats and Carlisle came in with a bottle of champagne, Alice trailing after with glasses in both hands.

"Thank you," I smiled back, Edward's hand warm on my back.

"I so wish you'd mentioned something earlier, Edward. I'd have gotten your grandmother's ring from the vault at First Olympic."

"I didn't think of it. I mean, Bella might want her own ring..."

I felt a prickle on the back of my neck, and ignored it.

"Your grandmother's ring?"

Esme nodded, talking to me now. "It's absolutely beautiful. Classic. Sapphires and diamonds in a white gold setting. It's been passed along the Cullen line for several generations now, grandmother to the first grandson to be married." Esme looked at the collage of old pictures in ornate frames behind me. "The photo is in black and white, but you can see it in her picture there on the bottom left."

I turned to look at it and gasped, getting up for a closer look. My finger reverently touched the beautiful ring adorning the woman's finger. I felt Edward behind me. "It's yours if you want it," his voice was warm against my ear.

"It's you I want, Edward, and I'd love nothing more than to show the world by honoring your family tradition."

The kiss we shared was less than we both wanted, held in check only by the five people watching us.

Champagne followed with dessert and more toasts of congratulations than I could keep up with from such a small gathering.

"So where will you be living?" Carlisle asked. "I assume California."

I nodded, feeling Edward's hand squeeze mine. "With everything I have to do, it's easier to live in close proximity and my house is in the hills. Not quite Forks, but it's a gated community and separate enough from the craziness."

"Not completely away." This was from Rosalie, of all people.

"I'm sorry?" I turned to look at her.

"You'll still be in the middle of all that madness. I mean, we've all seen the news, right? Celebrities hounded from restaurants by idiots with cameras, followed home, pictures taken with telephoto lenses."

I felt ice down my spine. "That's been known to happen, yeah. It's the exception, though, not the rule."

"Maybe," she hummed in a way that meant maybe not."I just thought you hated all that, Edward."

His hand tightened almost painfully in mine. "I don't know what you mean, Rose."

"Sure you do," she said airily over a bite of cake. "I heard you telling Emmett about it, when you got back from Los Angeles. I'd come to the hospital to meet him for lunch and you two were still talking."

"Rose."

"What, Emmett? I mean, it's not like I was listening around corners. You were standing in the middle of the hallway talking. I think every nurse on the ward heard you."

"And what did you say?" I asked, not looking at Rose. My eyes were fixed on Edward's face.

"I didn't say anything important."

"I'd say expressing your extreme happiness about being out of the hell of Los Angeles and back in the sanity of home sounded pretty important," Rose supplied helpfully.

I managed to keep it together while everyone else engaged in awkward conversation. When Alice stood to help her mother clear the dessert dishes, I stood up as well, thanked Esme and Carlisle for dinner, and left the room quietly. It was funny how quiet you could be when everything you'd assumed about your life came crashing down around your ears.

Edward caught up with me a few minutes later, standing on the deck, looking out into the dark forest beyond their yard. I heard him before he approached, my eyes closing when he put his hands on my shoulders. His thumbs rubbed softly at the base of my neck. I didn't turn around.

"Emmett's taken Rose home."

I didn't answer. I couldn't.

"Alice thinks she got bitchy because she knew about the ring. She'd asked earlier tonight about the picture, and the ring. I guess she had ambitions to marry Emmett and get it for herself. Our announcement pulled it out of her grasp."

I thought back to when Esme'd brought it up, to the itch I'd felt on back of my neck. I wondered now if that had been Rosalie glaring daggers at me for horning in on what she'd assumed was hers.

The problem was, Rosalie's envy wasn't the reason I was out on this deck. I turned to face the reason I was.

"Did you mean it?"

I didn't ask if he'd said it. His face when Rosalie'd told her little story was confession enough.

"At the time, yes."

"At the time? Does that mean you're happy now, about moving to Los Angeles, when just two weeks ago, you were exclaiming your profound happiness to have been delivered from hell?"

"Bella."

"What?"

"I was still reeling from it all, the stress of living in a fishbowl, of what happened at the premiere, the airport scene again when we left. All of it."

I waited for shock, surprised when I found none. Maybe I'd known it all along and now, confronted with the blatant truth from Rosalie's lips, the truth had been forced on me. The one blemish on my happiness the last few days: the determination I'd seen in Edward's face, when he'd talked about moving to California to be with me. I hadn't had the time to ask him about it then – I'd been sidetracked by his proposal.

Now I could see it for what it was – his resignation over living in a place because that's where I needed to live, even if he bitterly hated it.

"And now? I mean, the vultures were around in Marilyn Monroe's time, they'll be around when I'm playing the leading lady's grandmother. It will always be life in a fishbowl."

Edward's hands were on my upper arms now. He was trying to turn me around to face him. I wouldn't budge. I wasn't ready for that yet. I held firm, my eyes fixed straight ahead.

"I know that. And I've accepted it."

"Like you accept getting a cavity drilled?"

"Bella…"

"I'm serious, Edward. You can accept almost any horrible thing with the right mindset."

"This isn't some horrible thing."

I was not giving up without an explanation. "You thought so a few weeks ago."

"That was weeks ago, this is today."

"So what's changed then?"

"I found a different hell, one I know I can't survive."

"What could be worse than a life of having those people screaming at you all the time?"

This time he succeeded in turning me around to face him. His finger came up to tip my head back, forcing my eyes to his. "A life without you in it at all."

His lips were a soft pressure against mine. Closed and caressing, just a breath of emotion rather than a rage of passion.

"I love you, Bella. You. Not the movie star. I love the little gamer chick who buries her awards behind pictures and sleeps on ladybug pillows. If cameras and gossip reporters are the price I have to pay to keep you, I'll gladly pay it."

I stared up at him, my head shaking. I wanted too much to believe it, believe the words, the truth in his eyes, I almost couldn't trust myself. "You really mean it."

"I really mean it."

"But you're giving up so much. Your family, your home, the career you worked so hard for, even your privacy. It makes me feel selfish as hell because I'm giving up nothing and getting everything in return."

"I'm really not, thought. I'll have family by having Alice close again for the first time since we were kids, I'll trade endless rain for sun and blue sky, and as long as I have enough privacy to ravish you during naked swimming, I think I can find a way to cope with the loss of it other places. I'll still be a doctor no matter where I am."

"You said you wanted to bring your degree home, that so many went off to bright lights and big cities that the smaller hospitals were always struggling."

"What about the poor stuntmen and women? Don't they deserve a competent orthopedist just as much as the poor people of the Port?"

I laughed then, his infectious smile finally taking me over. "Got an answer for everything, don't you, Cullen?"

"I didn't exactly come up with all of this on a whim, Bella."

"Oh yeah? And just how long have you been working on it?"

"Not sure of an exact date," he said with a kiss to my nose. "I think the ideas started not long after you asked if I was an angel, even though they were only vague ideas at the time."

I blinked, my mind spinning backwards, spanning the three months of our relationship until it landed on a hospital gurney, the world surrounded by the fuzzy edges of sedation. "Oh, fuck. You mean to tell me I said that out loud?"

He chuckled. "You did. Looked up at me with these huge, beautiful brown eyes and called me an angel. Then you insulted my footwear and it was all downhill from there for me."

I giggled then. "Not my fault. You were the one wearing Crocs."

"The capper was when I started having dirty dreams about you all night, every night."

"Oh really?"

"Mmm," he whispered into my ear. "Very dirty dreams. Felt like a class A pervert about them, too. You want to know how hard it was to dream about making love to you, then have to go in and treat you like every other patient?"

I couldn't help myself. My leg wiggled its way between his and pressed against his semi-hard cock. "About that hard?"

He groaned again. "Harder."

"What were these dreams about?"

"I'm not telling."

"Spoil sport." I tried to pull away.

His arms closed around me like a vise. "Let me rephrase that. I'm not telling you here. Tonight, when you're naked and underneath me, I might be open to a renegotiation."

"Then I think it's time we go home and get naked."

And after I gave Edward a chance to deflate and we'd said our goodbyes, we did just that.

Morning dawned cold and raining. It was fitting, I thought. I arrived in the Pacific Northwest to a rainstorm, and now I'd be leaving to one as well.

I pulled Edward's sweater over the tank top I wore in anticipation of my landing in Los Angeles in a few hours. I'd laughed last night when I'd laid out my clothes and he'd balked at my taking his favorite sweater. I told him I was moving him in, one sweater at a time.

Then we'd talked about this moment. And I did what I promised. I pretended he wasn't awake and leaned over to kiss his bare shoulder. "I'll see you in two weeks."

No goodbyes, no declarations. They weren't necessary. This was just a small trip, a business trip the likes of which other professional couples endured all the time. That's all it was, we'd be treating it as such. He'd be flying down in two weeks for a long weekend. Then I'd be up a few weeks after that. We'd have a commuter relationship until his replacement had been hired, and he'd seen a few remaining patients through treatments and surgeries he'd not wanted to pass off to a different doctor midway through.

All of which would come to pass in approximately nine weeks' time, about the time it would take to get his licensure in California.

Nine weeks. Three months.

More than the amount of time it took to shoot a movie, less than the time it had taken to recover from a broken femur.

About the amount of time it took my whole life to change.

"I love you," I whispered into the darkness.

With a sigh, I gave his shoulder one last kiss, then turned and left the room. The click of the front door behind me felt louder than bombs as I made my heavy-footed way to the car and driver waiting out front. Alice waited for me in the back to catch the tears I'd sworn I wouldn't cry.

But did anyway.

* * *

_Props if you caught the Super Chicken reference (dating myself, but who cares…)_


	20. Chapter 20

_Thanks to all those who review/alert/favorite. You make me smile._

* * *

The first night was the worst.

I knew it would be.

As I walked through the empty place, I found all the remnants. All the painful reminders that she wasn't there anymore.

The blanket on the sofa was just where she'd left it the night before. There was half a six pack of Diet Coke in my fridge, her Half Baked ice cream in my freezer, her coffee cup in my sink.

I headed straight out for a run when I realized I'd spent twenty minutes standing in my kitchen, staring at the pale pink crescent mark her lipstick had left on the porcelain. I'd made it a long one, too. At least five miles. I figured it could only help when I tried to sleep later.

Then I found her shampoo in my shower. And her scent all over my sheets.

Unable to bear it, yet unable to change them to something that smelled of Downy instead, I took an old quilt out of the closet and carried it into my family room. The couch would do fine for sleeping tonight.

I turned on the television and decided the Fates truly had it in for me when Bella's face filled my flat screen.

"Perfect."

It was in this frame of my mind that my cell phone rang in my pocket. I snatched it up and took the call while my finger stabbed at the remote to find something else, anything else, to watch.

"What?"

"Edward?"

"Hi," I responded, trying to wring the anger from my voice.

"What's wrong?"

"You want the list in alphabetical order?" I clamped my lips tight over the flare of attitude. That wasn't going to do anyone any good. "Sorry. It's been a long day, baby. It was harder than I thought, coming home to a house with no you in it."

"I know. I'm lying in bed and the pillow still smells like you from our weekend."

"You're better than me. I'm out on the couch in a quilt I haven't used since college because it's the only thing that doesn't have your scent on it. Even my shower isn't immune."

"What?"

"You forgot your shampoo. The bottle's still there next to mine."

"Edward," she sniffed in my ear. "I'm so sorr-"

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't apologize for this." My attempts to keep the pissiness from my voice kept failing abysmally.

There was a long silence. I could hear the static crackle on the line. "Maybe I should call back later."

"No." I sighed. Took a breath, ran a hand through my hair and tried again. "No," I repeated. "I'm sorry."

"Talk to me, Edward. Tell me what's going on?"

I sighed, then laughed a little. "I'm not sure, but it feels like I've let loose my inner toddler and he's having himself a temper tantrum."

I heard her soft laugh in my ear and it warmed away the chill of coming home to an empty house.

"Did you throw yourself on the ground, too? Kick, scream, go all red in the face?"

My answering laugh was genuine. "Mentally, yes. Physically I'm much too refined to do anything like that."

"Then this time you're better than me. I got home, took one look at the table out by the pool and lost it. Went to tears faster than a soap opera diva, had myself a good cry then followed that up with some healthy screaming."

"One thing I'll never understand," I responded. "That there's any such thing as a 'good' cry."

"Such a man answer."

"I'm a man. Sue me."

"Mmm, yes you are."

Because I was pretty sure my sanity couldn't handle that sultry little purr again, I got the topic back on track again. "So, what happened after the cry and scream thing?"

A chuckle at my ear. Almost as bad as the purr. "I went online and blew people away."

_"Call of Duty?"_

"Nope. _Gears of War_. Never underestimate the power of a chainsaw to really level out some inner violence."

I sat up and started rummaging around, hitting various remotes as I did so. "So let's do it then."

"Do what?"

"We spent a few nights playing when you were here."

"Correction, we spent a few nights where I demolished your ass."

I laughed again. "You ever think I might just be being gallant, not wanting to show you up?"

"Not for a second."

"And how can you be so sure?"

"Oh, I dunno. Something about the way you nearly threw your controller through the TV and called me a screen-looking cheat that one time I sniped you tipped me off."

"There's no way you could have found me without screen looking," I defended myself.

"Sure there is. Pure skill."

"Want to put that to the test?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean log in to the game on Live and we'll go into a private match. You won't see my screen, I won't see yours and we'll see who's boss."

I heard Bella give an excited little squeak, then the rustling of fabric. I mentally watched her leave the bedroom, down the stairs and into her little Bella cave. "You're going down, Cullen."

"So you say, Hollywood."

She grumbled at the nickname Em had given her. "Bastard."

"You love me anyway."

"I do. Doesn't mean you're not about to get the ultimate smackdown."

We continued the trash talk all through game set up. I grinned when I saw her gamer tag pop up on my screen as being online and quickly sent her the invite.

I conceded defeat ten minutes later when the kill counter was so lopsided I was amazed my television wasn't listing to the side.

"I'm waiting." Bella's voice through the headphones sounded tinny and almost alien.

I chuckled. "Keep waiting." When she didn't respond, I realized I hadn't pressed the button to open my mic and repeated myself.

"You're a sore loser, Edward Cullen."

"I'm a guy. Not many of us spike the ball when we lose. Not that I could do anything about it; shit like that comes with the penis."

Bella's giggles were magic in my ears, a spell that eased the pain of missing her.

We signed off of the X Box and got our laptops. She went up to her bedroom, I stayed on the couch, and we lay face to face via Skype, talking until sleep took us both.

The days and nights started to take on a new pattern. I wasn't happy about that as I'd liked the old one just fine. If I couldn't have that one, though, this new one was nice enough.

For the present, work kept my mind focused during the day, and kept me from dwelling on the thousand-plus miles that separated us. That wasn't going to last long, though. Soon I'd be living there and all this would just be a bad memory. In preparation, I started to lessen the number of new patients I took on, deferring patients with long-term needs to others at the hospital and taking on the simple breaks instead.

I also started to wonder what I was going to do with all the extra, and unwanted free time I was going to have in the not-so-distant future.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one wondering that.

I found out who else had been thinking about my workday about a week after Bella'd left. I was sitting in the hospital's cafeteria, and wondering if I'd get an employee discount on the food poisoning treatment if the food on my plate turned on me, as I suspected it would.

"Edward, tell me you're not eating that."

I poked at it. "I wasn't sure if I was supposed to eat it or establish diplomatic relations. Seems a shame to let a nearly sentient society die just for the sake of my hunger." I grinned up at my father. "So what brings you to Café Botulism?"

"Board meeting," he answered with a look towards the older men getting coffee – the only safe bet here – and talking in a huddle.

I frowned, keeping my eyes on Dad's face as he sat across from me. "Kinda strange, isn't it? You guys meeting midweek like this? I thought your meetings were always on the first."

"We had to meet on the disciplinary case."

It took me a second to connect the dots. While I'd been in full Bella haze, one of the ER doctors had been caught in the supply room with a vial of Demerol in his hand. A close look at his arms showed recent needle pricks just under his watch band, evidence of drug abuse that had been clearly going on for quite some time.

"Zachary Davidson."

"That's the one. Anyway, we finally had his hearing today. More of a formality since he's still in the rehab facility, but we needed to make sure everything was above board for his formal suspension of duties."

"So sad to see it happen. Will you allow him back?"

"That depends on the medical board. If they debar him, we won't have any choice. If he comes back with a license full of sanctions? Again, it's a risk. Especially insurance-wise. But that's not why I came over here."

"And I'm sensing that you didn't come over here just to say hello to your darling middle child?"

He laughed. "Of course I did."

"And I'll tell Mom you said so."

"Appreciated."

"Out with it, Dad. The suspense is killing me faster than this alfredo would."

"Well, with Zach on official leave now, we've got a gaping hole in the ER department…"

I knew where he was going. "I haven't done an ER rotation since med school."

"But you are a doctor, and a surgeon."

"Repairing broken bones is a far cry from the meatball surgery done in an ER and you know it."

"I do know that, and we wouldn't have you on during the high-trauma times, like weekends and evenings. We'll work the other ER docs around to cover those. We'd have you on the day shift, just until we can find a permanent replacement. Besides, you said yourself you're dwindling down your patient load in Ortho in anticipation of the move. What better way to keep practicing without incurring a patient load? Not to mention bumping the CV up with ER time would be an added bonus when job hunting in a few months."

I laughed at the wheedling. "Did Mom give you lessons in this or something?"

"I'll never tell."

I shook my head. "Tell the board I'll do it."

From the grin on Dad's face, I couldn't help but wonder if he already had.

Bella wasn't even remotely surprised when I told her later that night.

"How did you know I'd do it?"

"Because I know you. If they needed help and you could give it, you would without thinking twice. Besides, with your mother involved, you had little to no hope of resisting."

"My mother as Borg now?"

"Now there's an image before bed," she laughed in my ear.

We were in bed again, on the phone this time rather than Skype.

"So you're going to be all Gray's Anatomy now?"

"Hardly," I snickered. "This is the OMC we're talking about. It'll be more like Scrubs."

Our laughter lingered until it faded into a static crackle over the phone. I looked at the empty pillow beside me. Tomorrow Bella started work officially and her schedule would get more and more erratic with late nights and dropping into bed exhausted from filming. (Alice had warned me about the last, though Bella said it probably wouldn't be that bad.)

Regardless of how bad it was or wasn't, our nightly practice of talking ourselves to sleep was about to change.

We'd originally intended for her to come up and spend her last free weekend before shooting started here, but it hadn't worked out that way. The director had called for another round of meetings about something or other and she'd had to cancel.

I was disappointed, naturally, but I knew unpredictable was the name of the game now and I was trying to learn to roll with it.

"I miss you," Bella's voice was soft in my ear. If I closed my eyes, I could almost feel her beside me.

"I miss you, too."

"How long until you're here?"

"Ten days," I answered back, my eyes on the suitcases I'd already started to pack and the old jeweler's box on my dresser. My grandmother's ring inside it, shined up and ready for Bella's finger. "That's not too terribly long."

"Are you shitting me? That's for-fucking-ever."

"You've been hanging out with Tracy."

There was a pause. "We had dinner together tonight since Dan's in London. You're not internet stalking me again, are you?"

"Nope. Those days are long gone, thank God. It's just that 'for-fucking-ever' is a Tracy-ism if there ever was one."

"You're not wrong about that. It's like she gets residuals every time she drops the bomb. She tried to be a little better at dinner since there were a few families nearby..."

"Let me guess. Didn't go too well?"

"Well, we didn't get kicked out, but Tracy's got some new holes glared into her back from the mothers of those small children."

We laughed, Bella's ending on a yawn.

"I'm going to go, let you get some sleep."

"Mmmkay. Don't wanna."

I chuckled. I could tell from the slur of her words she was halfway to unconscious already.

"Close your eyes and let yourself go, love. Just ten days and I'll be there."

"Ten days."

"Ten days. I love you."

There wasn't an answer. Bella was already asleep.

* * *

I got the phone call nine days later.

We'd talked since, of course, though erratically. Bella would call early in the morning and we'd talk over coffee, or she'd call at two in the afternoon, four in the morning. Whenever she was awake or had a free moment.

During each call, she'd become progressively more skittish, fidgety, even evasive. Any and all attempts to ask what was wrong were met with the old standby "nothing, I'm just tired."

If there was a soul alive and over the age of twenty that believed that lame-ass excuse, I'd love to see if he or she was also interested in a bridge I had for sale.

I was sitting in my office – which was looking quite barren now that I'd started taking the personal stuff home – and staring at my silent phone. I wasn't checking to see if it was working since there wasn't a return text from Bella. Nope. Not at all.

I wasn't _that_ pathetic.

"Edward."

I looked up at the voice, startled out of my obsessive staring by the last voice I expected to hear.

"Amalie. This is a surprise."

Her smile was warm, genuine, as was my own. Bella might not have understood it, but any awkward feelings between us had long-since been dealt with. Now she was nothing more than a coworker's wife as I was nothing more than her husband's colleague.

She stepped into my office when I got up, and we greeted each other with a friendly hug, a kiss to my cheek.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked as I ushered her into a chair.

"No, I can't stay long. I've got to pick up Courtney at the high school."

I smiled, knowing exactly why her daughter was staying late. The Port was a small town, after all. "I heard she got the lead, and as a freshman to boot. Pretty big deal."

Amalie groaned. "Hugh's not still going on and on about it, is he?"

"Not quite as much as he was, only whenever anyone stands still long enough. Jeremiah in radiology made up a pin for him to wear: 'Ask me about my brilliantly talented daughter.'"

"Oh my God," she laughed, hands over her face.

"Hugh actually wore it, too."

"He would." Her eyes darted to the clock then back to me. "Right, no time for the giggles, fun as they are. I've got two reasons for stopping by. The first is professional." She paused for a breath. "The hospital wants to give you a going away party."

I started to protest, she held up her hand. "Non-negotiable. You're just lucky I'm on the planning committee and can make it something you won't utterly loathe. It's going to be low key, at Dennison's because I know it's your favorite, just family, friends, staff you've actually worked with, and, ah, anyone else you'd like to invite."

Amalie's cheeks reddened suddenly and I caught on pretty quick. Not sure if the embarrassment was because Bella was famous or because this was my former fiancée talking about my current one. Based on her facial expression, I was going with the former.

"You mean Bella?"

Amalie nodded. "I can...ah. I was going to just send her the invitation, but honestly, I didn't know how without it getting lost in the mass of things she must be sent or without someone thinking I was a crackpot or something."

"Just give it to me when they're ready and I'll take it to her when I visit or when she comes back up here again."

I watched her shoulders slump in relief. "That's perfect then."

"How long have you been worried about this?"

"A few days now." She shrugged. "Just since the details were finalized. I've never written so much as a fan letter before, not even when I was little. I didn't have a clue how to do it."

She pulled out her phone and tapped a few keys, clearly updating a project planning app. I was surprised to see her cheeks redden again. "You said there was a second reason for your visit?"

Her head shook slightly. "That was nothing, nevermind. All I needed to do was let you know about the party and the, ah, issue with the guest list."

"I thought you were low on time?"

"I am."

"So stop beating around the bush and show me door number two."

"Should have known there'd be no hiding anything from you."

"I know you too well."

"You do. All right. Courtney's been. Well, it's kind of obvious what her passion is, right?"

"Water polo?" I deadpanned.

"Of course, water polo. She's auditioned for every game she could since she was seven."

I nodded because I was pretty sure where this was going. "And she wants to meet Bella, her favorite water polo player."

"Something like that. I mean, she does, but I was actually asking as well. See if Bella would talk to her about what Hollywood's really like, not the glamour of the cameras and red carpets, but the real work behind the scenes and the fact you don't always make it and having a real career to fall back on..., you know, that kind of thing."

I didn't agree right away – mostly because I wasn't sure what Bella's reaction would be. She'd been pretty straightforward about her feelings towards Amalie when I'd finally confessed our past to her and I didn't know if she was the type to visit the sins onto the daughter.

"I'm going down there tomorrow and I'll ask. I can't guarantee what Bella will or won't tell her about Hollywood life, though. She loves it. So if you're looking for someone to downplay it all, Bella might not be your best bet."

"I know, I just want her to act on facts, not on fantasy and this is the best way I know to accomplish that."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you're in love with her, Edward. You wouldn't be moving your whole life across the country for someone flighty and immature." She smiled. "I couldn't even get you to move across town." Amalie beamed then stood when her phone chirped. "And that's me, officially running late."

I got up with her and walked her to the open door with a friendly hug and a promise to be in touch soon to let her know Bella's response, still touched by what Amalie had said – that she'd understood the difference between the two relationships just as I did.

My own phone was ringing when I got back to my desk. I jumped on it like a panther on prey. "Hello?"

"Hiya, Dard," Alice chirped in my ear.

Overly cheerful. My stomach sank.

I dropped into my chair and willed my heart back to normal rhythm. "Why do I suddenly feel like I want to hang up and not hear whatever it is you're about to say."

"That's a nice way to say hello." She was still entirely too cheerful.

"Tell me, Alice."

She sighed. "Bella's got to cancel the weekend, Edward."

My silence answered for me.

"It's not her fault. It's the dick directing this film. He's, well, he's not getting his power off the main grid, if you know what I mean."

"Not really."

"He's just a little out there. This is his first film and he's nervous about it going well, not going over budget, shit like that. Anyway, he told us an hour ago that since the weather was going to behave this weekend on Catalina, that we were going to shoot there now rather than in two weeks like we were supposed to." He sighed. "The weather's so iffy on the island, I can understand wanting to strike while it's hot, but still. Sucky timing for you."

"I wouldn't mind spending the time with her on the island." It was a feeble attempt. I knew it, so did Alice.

"He's closed the set, Edward. No visitors at all, calls them unnecessary distractions. That goes for location shoots, too."

"It's all right. I can call and delay my ticket a week."

It wasn't all right. I didn't realize how much I'd pinned my happiness on seeing her again until the possibility was taken from me. Again. I wasn't going to tell Alice that, though. I wasn't even going to tell Bella. It sounded as though she had enough stress on her right now.

I'd just deal with it. Again.

"I've got to run, Edward. The costumers need a hand."

"Tell her I love her?"

"Will do. Tell mom and dad the same and that I'll call soon."

The rest was the silence of my office and the ticking clock echoing in the mostly empty room.

I got through the rest of the day in the ER, treating anxiety attacks masquerading as heart attacks, bumps and breaks, food poisoning and plain old flu. I offered to take a few shifts this weekend as well. I was getting better at trauma and triage. Not much had changed since my ER rotation in med school, and I thought the other ER docs wouldn't mind some unexpected downtime.

After all, it wasn't like I had anything better to do than watch the dust bunnies at home.

I cut that bitter thought off before it could form completely. We knew this was going to be a shitty time, and it wasn't fair to Bella. This was her job. She'd understood when I'd been called away in the middle of the night a few times for patient emergencies, I'd be understanding now.

That resolve lasted until four hours later, when I was at home surfing the internet with the remains of my delicious McFeast at my feet on the coffee table.

I picked up the ringing phone without looking. "Hello?"

"Edward?"

I nearly dropped my laptop in surprise, and did end up kicking my leftover fries to the floor. "Bella! How are you, sweetheart?"

"Fine."

Warning bells went off in my head like a torpedoed submarine. "That sounded about as far from fine as you can get and still be in the same country."

I waited. No laugh. "Bella, what is it?"

"Have you seen the pictures?"

I pulled the phone away from my ear, looked at it, the put it back again. "Pictures? What pictures?"

"Tanya."

Who knew dread could feel like a vulture had somehow found its way into my gut? A few taps and a mouse click later, I found what she was talking about.

The pictures were a little out of focus, the pair in them off center, and were clearly taken with a cell phone.

None of that mattered. They clearly depicted me embracing another woman. Amalie.

I didn't read the little blurb below it. Why should I? It would be bullshit anyway. Instead, I closed the tab and rubbed at my eyes.

"I'm going to have to talk to security tomorrow. I don't know how one of those fuckers got into the hospital, but I'll make sure they're not in it tomorrow."

Silence.

"Bella?"

"Then that really is you?"

More alarm bells. My head was starting to sound like a war movie.

"Yeah, that's me."

"And the woman?"

I'll admit it, the lie danced on my tongue for a few seconds. I waved it way. "Amalie."

"I see."

The rest was a click and the heaviest silence I'd ever felt.

I called back immediately. Repeatedly. Left voice mails and sent texts. All went unanswered. I tried Facebook, Skype. Nothing worked. The deathly silence continued.

It wasn't until I appealed to Jake and Alice both that my phone finally buzzed.

"You need to stop harassing people. It's late." Her voice sounded exasperated, and a second away from hitting the end button again.

"And you need to listen to me, Isabella Swan."

"What is there to say?"

"Obviously a lot since I've been tried and convicted of something in absentia. I'd like to know what I did that was so wrong before I'm relegated to solitary confinement for it."

"You were with your former fiancée."

"I hugged her when she stopped by to get my input on my going away party, Bella. It's not like a sex tape leaked or a cop caught her giving me a blow job in the parking lot." I paused, then continued more pointedly. "Or I gave a full on deep kiss right in front of you."

The last might not have been fair, probably wasn't fair, but I couldn't help it reminding her that I'd stood and watched film of Bella and Daniel in full lip-lock and hadn't said a thing. Yes, they were in character, I understood that. Didn't make it any easier to watch.

And didn't make being hung up on for any easier to bear, either.

"Bella?"

All there was on the other end was muffled rustling. At least she hadn't hung up on me again.

Then I heard the sniff. My anger dissolved faster than acid on metal.

"Are you crying?"

"N-no."

"Yes, you are. Bella, sweetheart, shhh. It's all right."

"Is it?" I hated the skepticism in her voice, hated more that I was starting to feel a little of that myself.

I sighed. "It will be?"

More tears. "We knew this was going to be hard. We knew it was going to suck."

"I know," she sniffled. "And I'm not helping anything by turning into an utter bitch of a shrew." Another sniffle. "I'm so sorry about this weekend."

So was I. Especially now. I wanted, needed, to wrap my arms around her right now. To tell her, and myself, that it was going to be okay. That's not what Bella needed right now, though. She needed me to be the strong one, to be understanding.

"It's all right. Alice told me about the change in the schedule, that it was totally out of your control."

"It was, came completely out of the blue. I even tried fighting against it, but he wouldn't listen. He's adamant about keeping the set closed. Said outside influences just distract the mind and impede the creative flow."

"He sounds like a dick," I said.

Bella laughed a little. "Probably because he is one."

"We'll get through this," I affirmed though I was starting to wonder just who I was convincing. "I've got my ticket changed already. So, really, it's just seven more days."

"I can do that. I can do seven days, I think." I heard the yawn in her voice.

"We can. But right now, you need some sleep."

"Mmm, I do. It's been a stressful night and it was an emotional day on the set, probably why I went a little crazy when I saw that picture."

"Just call me next time, okay? And ask what's going on? This isn't going to work if we don't keep the lines of communication open."

Soft giggle. "You sound like Oprah. If Oprah was a really hot doctor."

I laughed a little with her. "Go to sleep, Bella. I love you."

"You, too."

The phone went dead in my ear again and I felt a chill sweep through the room and settle right along my spine.

* * *

Except it wasn't seven days. It wasn't ten days. It wasn't a fortnight.

By the time I was finally able to see her again, it had been six weeks since she'd left Forks to come back to LA.

Forty five days.

I was like a med student on Match Day all through the flight to California and the taxi ride to her house. I couldn't stop fidgeting or checking my phone to see how much longer it would be until Bella was home to meet me, until she was back in my arms again.

There hadn't been any misunderstandings or fights like there'd been the night of the Amalie debacle; phone conversations had gone back to the way they'd been. Sort of. We didn't laugh as much, we never played around on Xbox or Facebook. We just caught up on our day as much as we could before Bella invariably fell asleep on her side. I'd even tried phone sex a few times – but Bella's schedule didn't work in my favor. Hard to keep up the talk, pardon the pun, when all you got were snores in response.

And the nights she wasn't falling asleep over the phone, she was out at premieres and events, smiling and laughing on the arm of Jake, or Daniel, or any number of other ridiculously good looking Hollywood types. I tried not to dwell on the sheer amount of pathetic involved in reverting to internet stalking my own girlfriend, just to see if she was all right.

By the wide smile and laughing interviews with reporters, she looked fine. It seemed she was only tired when she talked to me.

Temporary, temporary, temporary. The word had become my mantra. This was our trial, and we were going to get through it fine.

I heard my phone ding and smiled. The calendar reminder had popped up with "Meet Bella in LA." She'd be home any minute.

Any minute.

She got home five hours later.

I was in her Bella cave watching a marathon of Pawn Stars when she plodded into the room and dropped down next to me on the sofa.

"Hi." I said, my arm raised to wrap around her.

"Hi," she said back, and snuggled into my arms. "How was your flight?"

"Fine. Bumpy, but fine. How was your day?"

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"All right."

"Did you eat?"

"I did. Raided your fridge for a sandwich and a beer earlier, you?"

She nodded. "Dinner with the main cast at Koi for sushi and to be seen."

I wanted to ask why I wasn't invited since she had to know I was already here. I didn't. It was probably one of those closed things, like the set.

The room filled with the sounds of Bella's soft breathing and yet another poor idiot thinking he was going to get full resale value of an item out of Rick.

"I can turn this off," I offered.

"Would you mind? I just want to go to upstairs."

Did I mind? Yeah, not in the slightest.

In no time I was carrying her easily up the flight of stairs to her bedroom. I set her on her feet at the foot of her bed and tipped her chin up, smiling into her eyes.

"I missed you."

"Oh, Edward, I missed you, too. So much."

Her arms were around me then, holding me tight, squeezing tighter when our lips met after so long a drought. The kiss changed intensity almost at once – from welcome straight to need. It was like the first time, almost, with clothes flying and frustrated mumblings when jeans didn't give way fast enough. There weren't any giggles, though. Just single minded intensity to get naked as soon as possible.

When we'd finally shed the last of our clothes, we fell sideways into bed, limbs tangling and bodies merging almost at once. Like two magnets placed in the same space, nearly vibrating in their need to find their opposite and close the distance. I sighed in contentment, my lips finding and taking hers in welcome, in greeting. She returned the kiss with a soft moan of her own, fingers running through my hair, anchoring, as if she wanted nothing more than to hold me there forever. That intensity reigned through our entire reunion, bodies merging frantically, desperately, until we were both spent and sated, lying amidst tangled sheets and limbs.

I pulled Bella into my arms – big spoon to her little, and pressed my lips to the back of her head. I thought this might be the perfect moment to reach over and hand her the box sitting on her nightstand, the one I'd put there when I'd arrived earlier and unpacked.

I was just about to mention it when a buzzing sounded in the vicinity of where her jeans had landed.

She was out of my arms like I'd shot her from a machine gun, rummaging through the discarded denim. I thought she was going to turn off the interrupting ringer and silence the phone.

To my shock, she answered it instead. "Hello? No, it's fine. I wasn't asleep yet. What's up?"

She looked over at me in the dark, the near full moon filling the room with enough light to make our faces visible.

"I have to take this."

"Did someone die?" I was only partially joking.

"No, it's…"

"Let me guess. Scott." I sat up immediately, hands scrubbed over my face. "What could he possibly have to say that he didn't an hour ago at dinner? Or that can't wait until tomorrow, or Sunday, or anyfucking other time I'm finally getting time alone with you?"

"Bella?" The man's voice came through the phone clearly, audible in the aching silence of the room.

"I'll only be a minute," she said. "There's been a problem."

"Of course there has." I tried to sound accepting. I'm pretty sure that was a dismal failure, though, and that I mostly sounded petulant.

Bella carried the phone out of the room.

I was asleep before she came back.

Breakfast the next morning was painful. Quiet.

Waffles and bacon were our favorite breakfast; it was what we'd had our first morning here, it was what we'd had our first morning together in Seattle. This morning, however, the food tasted like sawdust in my mouth. Hard to enjoy food buried as we were under an oppressive silence.

"So what did you have planned for today?" I asked, a bright smile I didn't feel on my face. "Finally going to take me to see the mouse? A beach that's not freezing cold and stormy all the time?"

"About that."

I set my fork carefully on my plate. "Don't even go there, Bella."

"I'm sorry, Edward. That was the phone call last night. All of yesterday's work was lost. They went to watch the dailies and the file was corrupted, something like that."

"And you can't get one day off. Just one. You can't do this tomorrow?" When I'm gone again, I thought, but didn't say.

"I'm not the director. I'm just the actor. What he says goes."

"Sounds more like indentured servitude to me. Is there any recourse? You just have to take what he dishes out?"

"Pretty much. He runs the show." Her eyes were on her plate, hands wrapped to white knuckles around her coffee cup.

"Yeah, well, he's running it for shit."

"It hasn't been an easy one, no, but I've been on worse."

"And I don't suppose telling him to shove it would do any good?"

"No. All that would do is get me fired, and would definitely get me a reputation as being difficult to work with, gone diva, any number of little nicknames guaranteed to make sure I'm relegated straight to commercials or cable access movies from now on."

"Right now that doesn't look too bad to me. You could use the break."

"What do you mean?" She looked up at me finally.

"I can't imagine this is news to you, but you're falling down exhausted and have been for weeks. You can't keep up this kind of a work schedule, not to mention the nights out partying, and expect your body to keep up."

"Partying?"

"Yeah. I've seen the pictures. You've been to at least four in the last month with Jake."

"I hate going to those things alone."

"Yet you didn't ask me." I hated the bitterness in my tone, but couldn't do a damned thing to stop it.

"You've got patients, a schedule. You can't just fly down here for a night to take me to another premiere where you'd probably just have another miserable time."

"Don't you think that should have been my choice to make?"

Silence reigned. Our eyes locked. "You said you'd understand. You said we'd be all right through this."

I walked over and knelt down in front of her. I looked up into shadowed brown eyes. "I'm trying, Bella. Believe me, I am. I know this has been rough on you, I'm not discounting that. But you have to admit it hasn't been a picnic for me, either. Anything and everything seems more important than us, than our relationship. Something comes up and its push Edward aside time. Maybe I'm being wildly unfair...hell, I probably am. I'm just telling you how it feels on my end of the phone. Christ, you couldn't even be bothered to tell me yourself the sometimes; you'd farm it out to Alice, only bothering to call me later to hurl a few accusations at me about an innocent hug when I'd seen picture after picture of you draped over the arms of dozens of different men, even kissing a few of them."

There was a very long pause before she finally spoke. "Sounds like you've had that bottled up for a while."

"I suppose I have. It seemed petty as hell at the time. You'd explained it to me, after all. That the kisses in greeting, the hugs and all the casual touching was just part of life here. And I'd accepted it fine. Until..." I paused.

"Until what?"

"Until I stopped being sure that you truly wanted me back."

"...What?" Her voice sounded small, shocked. "Of course I wanted you back."

"That's what I kept reminding myself, over and over. Then the phone calls got fewer and fewer, and trips kept getting postponed, and then, over the last month, it's felt like I've been the only one trying."

Her eyes were dry, resigned. "I've tried."

There was a soft whisper in my head that told me to keep quiet, to not say it, to let it pass.

I couldn't. I learned my lesson. Burying my head in the sand had only prolonged the misery last time. I'd just as soon have it all out now. I didn't think I could take being told again what a relief it was to not have to pretend anymore.

If it was really over, I was going to know now. Not after another month of avoidances and excuses.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When did you try? Tell me one time in the last month that you made one gesture, even one comment that you were missing me as much as I was you."

Still her eyes remained dry. Her face blank. Because we both knew she couldn't.

A sound from inside the house broke the silence. The doorbell ringing.

"That's the car service."

"Don't do this. Call in sick, call in anything. Just stay, let us work this out, spend the day together. Show me this is more important to you than some movie."

Her back went up almost immediately, as if I'd said something to finally trigger an emotion out of her.

"I can't, Edward. Just like you couldn't ever tell your patients you were in the middle of dinner out with me, could you? No. You just dropped everything to go to them. My job might not seem important to you, _Doctor_ Cullen, but it _is_ my job and it's vitally important to me."

I was too stunned to respond.

Inside, the doorbell rang again. "I need to go."

The words were out before I could call them back. "Maybe I should, too."

She stood and looked down at where I still was, kneeling on the pool deck in front of her chair. I felt like vermin that had somehow oozed into a pristine house. "That's your choice, Edward."

I didn't move from where I sat on her pool deck. I stared at the blue water that sparkled in the bright California sun for a long time after the door had shut and I'd heard the car pull away. I kept hoping she'd just sent the car off, that she'd come back out.

She didn't.

When I finally accepted that, I made my way back upstairs, packed my suitcase, and my grandmother's ring, and left Bella's house behind me.

I stared at the check-in desk at LAX for a full five minutes before turning my back on it and heading down a level. I decided to bypass my flight home, and another change charge to the ticket, in favor of a long drive. I needed the solitude of the drive; I needed to figure out where to go from here.

I needed to be alone to lick my wounds, dry the moisture that kept falling from my cheeks.

Alice called when I was just outside Bakersfield.

"What did you do, you complete fucker?"

"Lovely to hear from you, too, Alice," I said and I knew my voice betrayed the emotion still lodged in my throat.

"I thought you were giving Bella Grandma Cullen's ring and instead you broke up with her and left? What the fuck is up with that?"

"We broke up with each other a long time ago, Alice. It just didn't wait to see the ring on the dresser this time."

I ended the call and shut off my phone, not caring that she probably didn't understand what I meant.

I didn't turn it back on until Monday when I was back on duty at the hospital. There were no messages.

* * *

_...have faith..._


	21. Chapter 21

_a/n - standard disclaimer_

_v.2 - thank you to the reviewers for making this my most reviewed story ever, thanks also for all the favorites/alerts, and special thanks for staying with me and keeping the faith_

* * *

"Bella! The party's in full swing. Aren't you coming down?"

I looked up at my director and tried for a smile. I was pretty sure my attempt sucked. My smiles hadn't been easy things over the past few days. Or weeks. Or months.

"I'll be right there, I'm just packing the last of this crap up."

My hands closed on a picture frame with no more mind than to toss it into the box as I'd done with everything else that had accumulated in my trailer over the interminably long shoot. Then I caught sight of the faces. And froze. It was a candid image some press photographer had snapped at Paul's premiere. A moment where our heads had been close together and he'd told me he was wondering what life would have been like if I'd never left Forks as a baby. The resulting image captured his little half-smile in aching detail.

Alice had had it framed for me and given it to me after the first weekend our plans to see each other had fallen through. After… Afterwards, I'd put it in a drawer. I couldn't look at it, but I hadn't been able to bear throwing it away, either. Now here it was, resurfacing to mock me like a past mistake. Fitting, I suppose.

"Come on, leave this for Alice. It's what you've got her for, right?"

"She's not a servant, Scott. She's my PA. And she deserves to enjoy the wrap party just as much as everyone else."

His hands went up, teasing glint in his eyes. "Back off, Mama Bear, I was just kidding. Christ, we're done with filming. You'd think that'd get a smile on your face for a change."

I shrugged and tossed out my usual, "I'm fine, just don't feel like smiling today."

"Do you ever?" he muttered.

I pretended not to hear him. "What was that?"

"Nothing. What've you got there?" he asked and reached for the frame.

I quickly pulled it out of his reach.

"Christ, Bella, I'm not trying to steal it. I just wanted to see."

"It's nothing. Just an old memory." I set it in the box and hoped he'd respect my wish to drop the subject.

No such luck.

Shouldn't have surprised me. He hadn't listened to me since filming began, why should it be any different on wrap day?

He looked into the box and sighed. "God, that idiot again? Seriously, Bells, you know you're well rid of this creep, right?"

I didn't answer; I couldn't.

"He took off? Left you mid-shoot? Not exactly the kind of guy you need for the long haul."

I was able to keep my eyes dry and my face blank. Not that it mattered. Scott either saw through my façade or heard the lie in my voice, or both.

"You've still got a thing for him? Seriously?" he laughed. "I don't get it."

"I love him, Scott. You know that." Even now I couldn't bring myself to use the past tense.

"Loved, Bella. Past tense, right? You figured soon enough what we all learn eventually. Straights just don't understand our lifestyle, the pressures of our jobs, they never will. Asking them to try is like casting an elephant for the Black Swan. It might work in theory, but the reality just looks stupid."

"So you said. Repeatedly."

"And I was right, wasn't I? First sign of trouble and bolted."

Scott was behind me now, hands on my shoulders and eyes meeting mine in the mirror. His thumbs pressed into the base of my neck, rubbing in soft circles.

"It wasn't that cut and dry, and you know it. He tried." My voice hitched, wanted to break. I wouldn't let it. "He tried to make it work. I'm the one that failed."

I'd had a lot of time to think over the last few weeks – cold, lonely nights, mornings spent with no hope of his deep chuckle in my ear to make me smile through the stress. In all that time, all that thinking, there'd been only one common denominator. My own failures.

"That's bullshit, Bella. You did nothing more than do your job. He was the one that couldn't handle it. I'd suspected as much when I saw those first press pics of him with you at the airport. Looked like he'd been dropped on an alien planet and expected an anal probe any second."

"You saw those?" I was shocked. In all our time talking, all the hours we'd spent in this very trailer just shooting the shit between takes he'd never mentioned it. Not once.

"Of course I did. You were my future employee. I'd be a crap director if I didn't find out all I could about my actors before they set a single foot on my set. Better to know in advance what to expect, so when the recovered addict starts up with the shakes, you know what's going on and don't waste time being clueless."

"But you never said anything. Not once."

"What was I going to say, Bella? 'Great guy you've got there, looks like he's next in line for a complete rectal exam'? He wasn't cut out for this life, Bella. I know it, everyone who saw those pictures knows it. Deep down he knew it, too, and that's why he decided to leave."

"He had a little help with that decision, though, didn't he? Someone keeping me exhausted, on the phone or in production meetings? Schedule changes that coincidentally kept me from leaving town..."

Cold dread was settling in my stomach like toxic waste. Could I have been that blind?

"I only did what needed doing, showed you what you needed to see." He spun my chair until we were face to face, lowering to his knees to bring our faces level. His hands took both of mine, gave them a squeeze. "And I'd do it again to help you see sense."

Scott was in the exact position _he_ had been in the last time I'd seen him and my mind flashed back to that hideous, horrible morning. To the unexpected reshoot that ended up being moot because by the time I got to the set, I was too devastated to do more than put one foot in front of the other, especially when Alice had texted, telling me the house was empty, that Edward had left.

Then another memory popped into my head; something that hadn't even registered at the time.

Scott, the dictatorial director who'd insisted we shoot on Saturday to make up lost footage, personally lead my useless ass off the set and into this very trailer. He hadn't been angry, he hadn't even raised his voice. He'd just held me in a platonic hug, told me to go on home and rest. To take a few days and get my bearings back. A few days.

Take a few days off.

The man who'd worked me like a slave, had pulled me away from a long-needed reunion with my boyfriend because we just HAD to reshoot that day…had given me time off not five hours later…and only when there was no one there to share it with me.

At the time, I'd been too deep in my fugue state to connect the dots.

Now I saw that morning, and the rest of that day, through different eyes; ones that weren't hampered by misery, exhaustion and stress. I saw all the little doubts I'd had but had brushed away. All the times I'd half-wondered if Scott wasn't throwing up roadblocks deliberately, to keep me solely focused on his film. I'd even thought of asking him once, when he'd scheduled yet another weekend's worth of work destined to keep me from leaving town. I hadn't, though. Even when…when it had ended. When he was gone, I'd looked back over every moment of those weeks apart searching for something, anything that would exonerate me.

At the time, I'd thought I was trying to make Scott my scapegoat – to lay blame at his feet because I didn't want to face that I'd systematically and irrevocably fucked up my life.

Now, in light of his comments and the bordering-on-smug look on his face, I realized my initial thoughts had been right.

I looked at our joined hands, then at him. "You did it on purpose."

There was no accusation in my voice. Just cold, stark truth.

"Did what?"

"All of it, everything. You called that night, you scheduled the late shoot, the cast dinner I wasn't allowed to invite him to even though you knew he was waiting for me; you made us come back in that Saturday. All of it. Even before that. Everything you said…oh…oh God." My hands flew to my face as the truth registered. Tears clogged my throat. I was having trouble breathing as the blinders finally came off.

"Bella, sweetheart..."

I hissed. "Don't call me that. Ever."

His hands tightened on mine. "I only wanted to help you see the truth."

"I saw it, all right. And you made sure to color it all the way you wanted it to look, didn't you? All those early morning talks when I was in the makeup chair. You were right there with a sympathetic ear, all smiles, coffee and commiseration."

Every conversation we'd had came rushing back to me like I'd used a "Jump to Scott" feature on a Blu-ray. Statements leapt out at me; each worse than the last as his tone had changed. So subtle I hadn't noticed it happening over the course of the shoot; now, though, it was achingly obvious.

_I know it's hard, it always is when you try to bring outsiders into this life, but you're holding up beautifully. I'm sure you'll make it._

_He should be understanding, this is your career after all. You were patient when his job interrupted, right? _

_Better he learn now that it's not all cameras and smiles. He loves you, he'll get over it. And if he can't, finding out now can only be a good thing._

And the last, the very worst, from a single conversation held while Edward slept in my bed, my body still warm from our long-overdue reunion. _He doesn't understand you or your job, Bella. He'll probably even tell you to just not come, that it's just a movie, not "important" like his job is to him._

Over and over the comments rang in my memory until I couldn't hear anything else. My hands clapped over my ears. That didn't do anything but serve to hold the poison in.

I turned blazing eyes on him. "Why? Why would you do that to me?"

"I didn't do anything to you, Bella. Nothing you didn't want. You were miserable, everyone could see it. I was just helping you see the obvious."

"And what obvious would that be?"

"That he's wrong for you. You need someone that understands the life you lead, that can help your career, not stand around like a statue while you do all the work."

"Someone like you, you mean."

I watched the grin tug at the corners of his mouth. "We could be great together, Bella. There's already buzz for you over _Shattered_ and this one's getting the same attention and I haven't even started editing yet. We could be the new power couple," he said, anticipation dripping from his every word, "just think about it."

I didn't think. I didn't think at all. I just reared back and slapped him so hard across his smarmy-smiling face that he rocked backwards and fell on his ass.

The blood on my hand from his newly-split lip only fed the satisfaction.

"You fucking bitch. You're going to regret that."

I let out a mirthless laugh. "So I've gone from the other half of your power couple to a bitch in one swipe of my hand, is that it?" I imitated his voice. "Let me throw your own words back at you then. Better you find out now I'm not some naïve little ingénue, you fucking bastard."

"You'll never find another job," he spat at me, fingertips wiping the blood from his chin. I felt a thrill of power when I saw his lip swelling.

"Yes, she will. She's going to have a career in this town as long as she wants one. Because if she so much as loses a commercial, I'm going to let what I just overheard 'slip out' at the first available opportunity."

We both turned sharply when the trailer door opened, Alice standing stock still, arms crossed at her chest, eyes spitting fire.

"Or maybe one of the sound guys standing with me just now will beat me to it – these trailer walls are like paper, you know? And those guys are notorious for not being able to keep secrets."

I saw real fear take the place of righteous indignation in his face.

"If you undermine this film..."

I held up a hand. "Don't even bother with the threats, Scott. I'm a professional, as you so often reminded me. I will see to my obligations in this film, press tours, interviews and premieres, all of it. I will be the picture of a supportive star so long as you stay the fuck away from me. In every way. No phone calls, no texts, nothing. Everything you need to say to me from now on will go through Jake."

I held Scott's eyes until his head bobbed once in a nod of assent.

The last of my strength faltered as the adrenaline rush ebbed. I felt my eyes start to fill and made my exit before the tears could fall. I walked straight out to my car with nothing more in mind that getting the hell out of here before I fell apart completely. I made it to my car without meeting anyone, thank God, but stopped when I realized I'd left without my purse.

No purse, no keys.

I was stuck standing here.

The tight hold on my control wavered once, then gave way entirely. The tears trickled in twin rivers down my face. It wasn't long before the trickle became a flood and the flood turned to wracking sobs. I was reduced to a shaking, moaning mass on a movie studio lot, standing next to a BMW Z4, hands clawing at the unmoving door handle like it would just magically open.

"Bella?"

I felt her small, strong hand on my shoulder.

"Alice."

I turned into her arms and lost it. Completely. I cried for everything I'd done, everything I'd not done, and everything I'd lost due to my own stupidity.

I barely noticed when Alice's arms became Jake's, barely noticed when we were no longer standing, but sitting. I just drew comfort from his familiar arms and surrendered to the grief.

I didn't come back to reality until I felt a leather sofa beneath me and a cold glass pressed into my hand.

"What is this?"

"White man's firewater."

Confusion pulled me the rest of the way out of my near-catatonia. I blinked a few times, eyes finally focusing on the man in front of me. Seth. Tall, beautiful, Native American Seth was standing over me wearing the teasing grin that had made Jake fall in love in a matter of seconds.

"You're a riot, Seth."

"That's what the judges all say, right after they fine me for contempt. Now drink up."

"I'm not much of a drinker. Can I have water?"

"After the whiskey, Bells. You've got your own little San Andreas going on there. Once that stops, we'll switch to water."

I followed the line of his sight to the glass in my hands. They were shaking so much, the ice was rattling in the glass.

"Oh. Right."

I sipped at the whiskey, wincing at the burn as it traveled down my throat. Then I wished it was stronger, strong enough to burn away everything, leave nothing but the shell behind.

I don't know how long it was before the shaking stopped, but I'm pretty sure the glass was refilled at least once. By the time I was given a water bottle, I was back in Jake's arms, both of us reclining on the sofa, my aching heart soothed by the steady beat of his in my ear.

"Feeling better?"

"No," I answered honestly. "But the shock's worn off." I looked around. "Where is everyone?"

"Alice and Seth are off getting your car and bringing it here, as well as the rest of your things from the set."

I nodded.

"She told you." It wasn't a question.

"She told me. She also said you hit him so hard you drew blood."

Shame filled me as the whole horrible scene replayed in my mind. I prided myself on being a strong person and above the normal female weepies, but the tears returned anyway, stinging this time.

"What am I going to do, Jake?"

I felt his lips on my head, his arms tighten around me. "From what Alice told me, you handled everything fine. I'll give Scott a few days to count his blessings, then stop in and make sure he knows—"

I pulled away. "Not about that, Jake. About..."

I hadn't been able to say his name. Not since he left. Or, rather, not since I'd given him no other choice but to leave.

"Oh. Edward," Jake said softly.

My hand went to my chest, to where it felt someone had just speared me like a cocktail sausage. "Yes. Him."

"I dunno, Bells, but I'm sure groveling will be a part of it."

"Groveling?"

"Yeah, you know. The act of throwing yourself on the mercy of the person you've wronged, writhing and begging forgiveness, offering to lie on razor blades while they douse you with lemon juice, that sort of thing."

"Done that a lot, have you?"

"We both have. Par for the course in a healthy relationship, you live, you love, you fight, you have killer makeup sex. Lather, rinse, repeat."

"I don't think so, Jake. I think this goes beyond groveling."

"Nothing is beyond groveling, except maybe cheating, and abuse. But Edward…"

"No, he never did anything like that. If anyone was abusive, it was me."

Jake popped a brow at me. "Knocking him around on the side, were you?"

"No," I huffed, smacking his arm. "But I'm pretty sure letting him walk away, or worse, practically kicking him out the door after months of neglect counts as some form of abuse."

"Bella."

"No, Jake. I did this, I have no one to blame but myself. I let the best thing to ever happen to me slip through my fingers over what? A stupid movie?"

My head shook. I tried to cry, I felt the need to cry, but there weren't any left. I'd cried myself to drought stage. I was a human Mojave Desert, and destined to be as lonely as the Joshua trees that lived there.

* * *

Unfortunately, my life had very different ideas about what my next step was. Much as I wanted to do everything I could to try and fix what I'd done wrong, it didn't seem right to try and initiate contact only to be pulled away repeatedly for more of what had kept us apart in the first place.

My insane, crazy job.

Not two days after the second worst day of my quarter century, I was thrust into the interview and photo shoot circuit that led up to every movie premiere – especially one with as much advance buzz as this one was getting. _Shattered _was the odds on favorite to rake in the nominations and awards and the movie hadn't even opened yet.

Edward wasn't ever far from my thoughts, though, and slow times and evenings were usually spent bent over a keyboard, staring at a flashing cursor that did nothing but mock me with words that just wouldn't come.

When Mom had called to ask about Thanksgiving, asking if I'd wanted to get out of town for the holiday instead of the usual dinner at her place and sunset walk on the beach afterwards, I'd jumped on the idea.

What surprised me was that she wanted to go back to Phoenix.

It wasn't until we were on the plane that Mom confessed her true purpose in the trip. It wasn't nostalgia for our old home, or even an attempt to get me away from LA for a few days. Mom's plans centered entirely around herself, and Phil, the guy she'd met on the cruise ship months ago. Apparently, they'd been keeping up a conversation, through email and phone calls, and wanted to see each other in person again. Thanksgiving meant she had time off without wasting precious vacation days; it seemed the perfect time for a visit.

I'd been the only wrinkle because she'd said there was no way she was leaving me alone for the holiday. I snorted when she'd revealed that. Even if I'd had plans, there'd have been no way I was letting her go without me there to scope this guy out, too. Not that I hadn't already had Jake investigate the guy (he'd come up clean, just a widower who had given up on a pro, or semi-pro career, to coach high school baseball.) I still wanted to meet him myself.

In hindsight, I should have just stayed home.

Phil was a great guy. He took us on a sight-seeing trip to all the places we'd loved years ago, took us to dinner several times, even made us a full turkey dinner for the holiday. He treated me like I was nothing more than Renee's daughter which was appreciated, and he treated her like she'd hung the moon just for him. After so many years alone, it was refreshing to see her smile so readily, to hear the trill of her laughter again.

Happy as I was for her, for them, watching them fall in love did nothing but bring back my own painful memories and the great love I'd had and let slip through my fingers. Listening to her wax poetic about him, about falling in love, in our hotel suite at night didn't help any.

I started counting down the days until we'd fly back home and I could stop having to spend every night pretending not to be hurting over her happiness.

"Bella?" Mom turned to me, after our return flight had lifted off.

"Mmm?" I said, looking up from the magazine I wasn't reading.

"I was just wondering. How you'd feel if..." She broke off, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

"Spit it out, Mom," I teased.

"Well. Phil asked me if I'd ever considered moving back to Phoenix."

My hands froze in the middle of turning a page. "Did he?"

More lip-worrying. "Yeah."

"Seems a funny thing to ask."

"Well. Not in the context of the conversation."

"Which was?" I knew where she was heading, it was all over her face and in the way she kept touching the middle finger of her left hand…like she was looking for a ring.

"Phil proposed last night."

I tried to smile, but all it reminded me all too much about what I'd lost, the proposal I'd received and then cast away. "That's great, Mom."

"You don't seem very happy for me," she sniffed and I could see the hurt in her eyes.

"I am, really. For both of you. Phil's a great guy."

"Bella, what is it?" She took both of my hands in hers, squeezed them lightly.

"Nothing, Mom. Really. It just reminds me of…"

"Of…?" she asked, clearly she had no idea what I was talking about.

"Edward."

It was the first time I'd said his name, hadn't even thought it since I'd told him leaving that morning was up to him. The pain was exquisite, a starburst through my body with a bittersweet aftertaste. A residual ache for all I'd lost.

Mom's eyebrows drew together. "Edward? But, he was over a long time ago, Bella. Why would that be bothering you now?"

There was something in her voice, something so painfully familiar I nearly gasped out loud from the realization. My mother had sounded just like Scott had that day in the trailer. And just like Scott, she hadn't acted upset that he was no longer a part of my life.

"I love him, Mom. Still."

Her head shook. "You always were a constant little thing, Bella." The way she said it, the tone of her voice, made it sound like it was some character flaw she'd long since stopped trying to correct.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you don't like change, you like things to stay as they are, even if it's not the right choice for you. And that you always have a hard time recovering from any change, especially unexpected ones."

Another piece of the puzzle settled into place as I saw the past few months from a different angle. "And you decided to help me make a different choice, didn't you, Mom? What? I didn't listen well enough to what you told me that night you came to dinner, about not dragging him into my crazy life for some affair?"

"Nonsense. I was never anything but nice to that man, Bella."

"I know, and that's the worst part." I laughed, the sound far from humorous. "You were all smiles and hugs when he was walking you out to the car and kissing your cheek. It was just when things started to get rough around the edges that you dropped the ball."

"I don't know what you mean."

She did, though. I could see the guilt in her eyes. On a normal day, I might have let it go. After watching her spend a week reveling in what I'd never have again? I wasn't as forgiving as I'd normally be.

"Sure you do. You were as bad as Scott was. I didn't see it when I first told you what had happened, what he'd intentionally done to sabotage my relationship with Edward. I see it now, though. You were just as bad. Maybe worse because you thought you were doing me a favor not just trying to further a career."

"Bella."

"Save it, Mom. Occupational hazard for me? A near photographic memory. I can read through a script once, twice, have it down. I can remember scene blocking for movies I did years ago. Mostly, though, I can remember heartfelt chats over dinner and pedicures and spa massages. You remember those, Mom?"

Her pallor told me she did.

"I wanted to tell Scott to go to hell and just leave for the weekend, go up and surprise Edward. You told me Edward would be fine, that I had a career to think about."

"And you did. You can't walk off a movie set and expect other directors to line up to work with you again."

I continued as if I hadn't heard her. "I wanted to send Edward a plane ticket to come down for George's premiere, remember? Because I'd told him the fish stick story and I thought he'd have fun meeting the guy I'd puked all over. You reminded me how miserable he was at Paul's and said I should leave him be."

"He was miserable, Bella. You said so yourself, that you'd even fought about it."

"And you knew, for a fact, that he'd have a miserable time again?"

"He wasn't happy in LA, Bella. He hated the cameras, the press, the shouting, the wanna-be starlets with grabby hands. You said it all the time. You said how happy he was to get 'home' when you were back in that miserable little rain-soaked town. Your life is here, his is there. And I wasn't about to stand by and watch you throw your career away just to get sucked into living in that hellacious place when I'd worked so hard to get us out of there."

The magazine in my hands started shaking. "Please tell me this isn't what you were after. Please tell me you didn't work on undermining my happiness with Edward because you were afraid I'd move to Forks."

"No, of course not. I wasn't thinking about that at all."

The sad part was, I wasn't sure if I could believe her or not. It might not have been the whole reason, but it was part of it.

"Then what? Edward's happiness? Mine? Because in case you haven't noticed, I haven't exactly been turning cartwheels and skipping through gardens since he left."

"I'm sure Edward bounced back just fine, and so will you. Eventually."

"And in the mean time, I'm supposed to hug and kiss you and congratulate you that Phil proposed and you're moving back to Phoenix."

She was silent. Bull's-eye.

"I haven't accepted yet. I wanted to talk to you about it first. Clearly that's not such a good idea right now."

"Does he know?"

"Does he know what?"

"About Daddy. Does he know about us living there, about Daddy dying there?"

"Of course he knows, Bella. That was how we first started talking on the ship."

"And it doesn't bother him? He's not worried, harboring insecurities, about your memories over Dad if you move back?"

"I don't think so." I could see worry creep into her eyes.

I let her stew over that idea for a few minutes, watching her face contort with little worries she hadn't considered. When I spoke, it was very soft. "Now ask yourself how you'd feel if I used that little bit of insecurity to make you start to doubt yourself, doubt Phil." My voice broke when I tried to speak, I'd had to clear it twice to get all the words out. "All in the name of just wanting what was best for you when really, I just didn't want you to move away from me and have someone in your life that might just mean more to you than I do?"

I felt no happiness, no vindication when I saw the truth hit her right between the eyes. Just the same pain I'd been living with for weeks. Because no matter how the tables turned, no matter that Mom now saw her actions for what they were – hurtful rather than helpful – the end result was still the same.

I'd listened to others, heeded their advice rather than the urgings of my heart.

Now I had a lifetime alone to dwell on it.

* * *

It took a few days for Mom to show up, eyes swollen from tears and sleepless nights. There were more tears, together this time, as we talked and tried to repair the rip in our relationship. She'd always be my mother, I'd always love her, but there was this little flaw in the fabric now. One we both knew would never entirely go away.

As Christmas neared, I started to think about Edward a lot. Think about him, dream about him, wake up crying his name in both ecstasy and longing. I went back to spending my nights staring at a blank email, trying to find any words to put on paper to explain the last few days, weeks, the hell of my life since I'd let him go.

Alice and I maintained our working relationship by ignoring the fact she had a brother, like best friends on the opposite sides of a heated debate. We stayed friends because we just never brought it up. No matter how much I wanted to know how he was – I just couldn't bring myself to ask her. It wasn't fair.

Some nights I closed down the computer entirely and spent hours staring at my phone instead, my fingers hovering over the keypad. Sometimes I'd get as far as scrolling through my contacts to his name before I chickened out.

What could I say if he actually answered? I'm sorry for being an idiot who had so little faith in you that I let you go at the first sign of trouble?

Yeah, that's probably exactly what I had to say.

I was just having a hell of a time getting up the courage to do it.

I didn't find that courage until providence interceded…in the guise of a gossip reporter of all things.

I was at a Starbucks in Hollywood, killing time before I had to be at a fitting for the dress I'd be wearing to the _Shattered_ premiere in a few days time. There were occasional clicks around me, the camera phone sort that I'd learned to mostly tune out over the years.

I didn't look up until the chair opposite me scraped across the tile floor and I heard the exhale of someone taking the seat. Rude bastard.

"Excuse me," I began, looking over the top of my laptop with a glare. The glare intensified when I saw the face. I'd have preferred some ballsy fan trying to sit at the table with me to seeing her face.

"Hello, Bella."

I growled. "Piss off, Tanya."

She tsked happily. "Such language from America's Sweetheart, all poised to set the world on fire with her new epic romance. Hardly flattering."

"I'm sorry, didn't you hear me? Piss. Off." I said each word clearly then looked back down at my monitor.

"Come now, Bella. We're more civilized than that, aren't we?"

"Not really," I said, still not looking at her. "I've had too many of my friends punctured with your poisoned pen to be anything close to civil."

"By friends you mean Edward? Certainly you're not still upset over those little articles, are you? I mean, that's over, right? Been over for awhile? Or are you keeping him on the side like a yummy side dish you don't want to share with the other diners?"

I slammed the laptop shut and pushed my chair back. I wasn't in the mood to sit and listen to this shit.

"Wait."

It was ingrained in me to ignore her. My body was hardwired for it.

"Please." The simple word stopped me. The word and the tone. She sounded… sincere. A sincere gossip columnist?

I knew it was probably a sign of the apocalypse. Nevertheless, I stayed.

"I'm sorry. Some things are just habit and you're so easily ruffled. Will you sit a moment? I've got something I need to talk to you about. Off the record."

I turned slowly. The simper that she was so famous for, both written and spoken, was gone. Whatever had brought her to my table was serious.

I resumed my seat but kept my guard up. "Off the record?"

She nodded.

That was enough to have me listen, but I was still going to measure every word I said. "I've got ten minutes before my appointment. You can have five of them."

Tanya reached into her bag and handed me a manila envelope. "What's this?"

"This is a print out of emails sent to me, as well as scanned newspaper articles that were sent as attachments to those emails from my source."

"Your source?"

"Mmm. The one who told me your Edward's name, sent me the photo of him and that woman at his hospital."

The pain that speared me when she'd called him mine was quickly erased by anger and dread.

"I'm not sure, but I'm pretty confident she's also the one that alerted the press that you were in the hospital there after your accident. She never outright said it, but she hinted a lot."

The hand holding the envelope started to shake. What was in here? Could I handle seeing what Edward was doing that was noteworthy enough to have someone sending it to Tanya looking for payment and publication?

Unable to stop myself, I opened the envelope and pulled out the information she'd given me. When I finished scanning it all, my hands were shaking again.

"Why are you telling me this, giving it to me?"

She laughed, mirthlessly. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not really heartless, Bella. You were so happy with him, those few times we saw you together. God, it radiated off of you like solar flares. I don't know when it happened, of course, but it's clear by looking at you that he's not in your life anymore. I don't know if I had a hand in that or not with things I printed. On the off chance I did, I wanted to rectify that."

I stared at her, more stunned than if she'd told me her next stop was pledging her life to a convent.

"I know, I know. Just don't let it get out, okay?" She smiled.

"Who would believe me if I did?" I asked truthfully.

"Point to you. Look. About that." A wave of her hand indicated the envelope I held clutched in my fist. "I won't publish it, ever, and if I get wind anyone else is about to, I'll do my best to quash it. That's the best I can promise. I didn't make copies and I've deleted the email used to send the information to me."

"I don't know what to say."

She smiled again. "How about an exclusive interview? I was actually a journalist once upon a time, I think I can remember how to write and not sensationalize the hell out of it."

I nodded once. There wasn't much I wouldn't promise to keep what I held from ever seeing the light of day. "It's a deal." I held out my hand and shook hers once, both of my hands holding tight to hers. "Thank you, Tanya. From me, from her."

"Good luck."

She left me alone then and I slipped the printed email out of the envelope again and stared at the words.

_Dear Tanya,_

_We're becoming regular pen pals, aren't we? Hehehehe. This is so awesome. Think I could come out there sometime, meet you in person? That would be great, don't you think!_

_So I've attached the stuff I found in Mom's desk. Should get you some great traffic on your site. There's only the one pic, so not expecting as much $ this time, but anything would be great._

_Thanks and ttyl!_

_Jess_

It took me a second to place the name to the face. Jess. Jessica. The bitchy nurse that had only big smiles for Edward, death scowls for me during my entire stay at the Port Angeles hospital.

The last puzzle piece fell into place. The last bit of sabotage, the last person fighting to make sure Edward and I never found that happy ending together.

The information Jessica had sent was nothing I expected.

An arrest sheet from decades ago, one Esme Platt from Chicago, Illinois, and her repeated arrests for solicitation. There was even a mug shot, one that made it very clear that the woman arrested was none other than Edward's mother. Those green eyes were unmistakable.

My phone buzzed a reminder that I was now running very, very late for Kate's. I wrapped up the information from Tanya, and my laptop. I put both into my bag and walked the few blocks to Kate's loft.

I barely remember what happened at the fitting.

Someone must have tipped Alice off that something was wrong with me, because she was waiting for me when I got home.

"Bella? What is it? Are you sick?" She was on me like a mother hen before I could even get out of my car.

"I'm fine, Alice." She shot me a look. "Okay, I'm mostly fine."

She led me into the house where she had two glasses of white wine already poured. "Kate said you looked like you were stoned or something. Said she only let you drive home because you weren't slurring and your pupils weren't all huge. I can see by looking at you that you're not all there. So out with it, okay? What happened?"

"Tanya stopped by Starbucks right before I went to Kate's."

Alice sniffed. "That old cow? What'd she want this time, spread a little more misery?"

I shook my head and handed the envelope to her. "No. She wanted to give me this. It was sent to her for publication, by the same person who's been feeding her information all along about…the one that sent her the pictures of Edward with Amalie."

I handed the envelope to her and picked up the wineglass, draining it in one throw then pouring myself another.

The silence was almost physically painful.

"Oh my God. How did she...did Edward tell you about this? About Mom?"

I shook my head. "No, he didn't."

"Does it bother you?"

My eyes went to slits. "Because we've been friends so long, I'm not going to toss this wine in your face for even thinking it."

Mollified, Alice went back to examining the emails, the picture and the rap sheet. "And what's she's planning on doing with this?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, right," Alice snorted.

"That's what she promised and, call me crazy, but I believe her." I told her about my conversation with Tanya, the deal I'd made and the genuine remorse I'd seen in her eyes. "I thought I'd give it to you, that you'd make sure it got back to your mom, see that that little bitch was fired, covered in honey and staked to an anthill." I knew the last probably wouldn't happen, but a girl could hope.

In the end, Jessica's treachery was the impetus I needed to get off my ass. I was embarrassed over my actions still, mortified at my own weakness and lack of faith and those destructive emotions had kept the words from coming. Anger over Jessica's actions – both against me, against Edward, and against Esme – overrode everything else.

That night I sat down and pulled out some pale blue stationary that had been given to me as a gift years ago and found a pen in my junk drawer. I didn't let myself dwell, didn't stare at the paper. I just put the pen's nib to it and started to write. Half an hour later I put the letter in an envelope, and drove myself to the post office.

The letter might come to nothing, might be sent back unopened or fed into a fireplace. It didn't matter. It was done. I'd taken the chance, made an attempt to rectify the single worst mistake I'd ever made.

Now it was up to fate.


	22. Chapter 22

_a/n – standard disclaimer_

* * *

I walked into my cold, quiet house with nothing more on my mind than numbing the day away with a beer or three then collapsing into bed. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow would be a better one.

It had been another long day.

Not that that should have surprised me. I'd already had a month full of long days, each more interminable than the other. This one, though, had been a particularly fabulous slice of misery.

It almost had to be. Any day that starting off with a localized case of food poisoning before I'd even had coffee was pretty hard to beat. The victims, all in states of vomit or diarrhea or both, filled every available bed in our small ER. By the time we'd managed to get them all seen to, the ER looked like the worst sort of war zone….and I now needed another pair of fucking Crocs.

Sure, I probably could have hosed them off, bleached them and the smell would have dissipated eventually, but that wasn't the kind of work I was looking for in my plastic shoes.

Shutting that thought off, I reached into the fridge for a beer then closed the door behind me with my hip.

Twist, hiss, swallow. Much better.

The first swallow went down so smooth, I sent another one down right after it.

Mail in one hand, beer in the other, I plodded in towards the den.

At least, bad as it started, the day had ended well. I'd arrived at Jessica's disciplinary hearing just in time to hear the board terminate her employment, effective immediately, and then inform her that her case was being sent on to the Board of Registered Nursing with a recommendation that her license be revoked. The only thing that would have topped it would have been seeing her get served a summons over her non-disclosure agreement breach.

I supposed beggars couldn't be choosers.

I went to take another drink from the beer bottle, surprised to find it empty. Had I really burned through the entire bottle without noticing? I shrugged. I'd been living in a damned fog the last month, anything was possible.

I decided to give the mail a look through before I went for round two with Sam Adams.

Bill. Bill. Junk. I may have won ten million dollars. Two credit card applications. And what do you know? An actual letter in the mail? Go figure.

I had the letter out of the envelope, the stationery in my hands and my eyes glancing over the "_Dear__Edward__"_ before my brain fully registered what I was holding.

I didn't know the handwriting, yet I recognized it at once. My eyes skittered to the bottom to be sure and there it was.

Her name. Her signature.

Bella.

Oh, God.

I stared at the salutation as time ticked away on the mantle clock, captive as a frog in a flashlight beam and just as unable to move.

I had to ease my grip on the paper. Or crumple it up and throw it away.

The debate raged while my eyes remain fixed on her name, not moving to read the rest of the words. Just her name. A floodgate opened and spilled out a hundred different memories of her in just a few seconds. Things I hadn't let myself remember since I'd left Los Angeles in my rear view mirror over a month ago.

Or 47 days, twelve hours, roughly 32 minutes ago, if you're into specifics.

Not that I was counting or anything because that would be totally fucking pathetic.

It was inevitable that my eyes would move, flick upwards to the ones that came after the "Dear Edward" at the top. Okay. I'd read it once, but that was it. Just a glance through to see what she had to say, then I'd toss it. Curiosity, it seemed, would be burying me right beside the damned cat.

That plan didn't work so well, though, because I needed a second read. The first one got blurry in the middle.

So did the second. And the third.

After the fourth time through, I dropped the piece of paper like it was on fire, went straight up to my room and changed into my workout gear. I was running before I'd cleared the back door.

I made it half a mile before I realized I couldn't escape it by running because I had managed to memorize the fucking thing.

_Dear Edward,_

_I can't tell you how many times over the last few weeks I've thought to contact you. Blank emails that never get written, phone calls I can't bring myself to make._

_How can I? How can I put you on the spot, expect you to forgive me for my weakness and lack of faith? How can I put into words the depths of my sorrow, my regret, the big empty spot inside me where you used to be?_

_How can I barge back into your life when you've most likely moved on already?_

_The truth is that I can't. Because there aren't any words. None that matter a damn, anyway. There are reasons, excuses, whatever you want to call them. Many of them – forces outside my control, pushing me towards what I was being told was the right thing._

_But that's all they are, Edward. They're excuses. And I won't use them as a crutch. _

_It was my own stupidity that let you slip away. Nothing else._

_I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but Hallmark wants me to believe this is the season for reaching out, for trying. _

_And I knew I had to try._

_I hope that reading this finds you well. God. That's such a lie. Deep down, I almost hope it finds you as miserable as I am. Because that would mean I might have some chance at repairing all the damage I did._

_If__those__horribly__selfish__hopes__are__right,__I__was__wondering__if__we__could__find__a__way__to__talk.__To__see__if__we__could__somehow__find__our__way__to__friends__again__even__if__I've__done__so__much__damage__we__can't__ever__be__anything__else._

_If not, if this letter finds you pissed off I'd even dare to contact you at all after what I did, feel free to feed it to the fire and trust I'll never bother you again._

_In closing - I'm sorry, Edward. So sorry I didn't fight harder._

_Always,_

_Bella_

Every footfall was a word as I ran, over and over again. Because I'd forgotten my iPod, I couldn't even try to drown them out with music. Just an endless stream of Bella's voice, echoing her apologies in my head as the forest blurred past me. And I didn't just hear her voice, I heard her laugh, sigh, hrumph, heard the little snores she made when she slept. I saw her, too. Her smile, the little line between her eyebrows when she frowned, the pink tip of her tongue poking out of her mouth when she wrote anything longhand.

I could see the resolute set her shoulders must have had as she'd mailed it.

And I could see the sunken, defeated looking Bella I'd last seen on her pool deck.

… _forces outside my control, pushing me towards what I was being told was the right thing…_

What had she meant by that? Had friends or coworkers, been telling her to ditch the dorky doctor who couldn't attend a single independent movie premiere without getting his balls groped for the camera?

Who? Her mother'd seemed to like me, so had Leah, and Tracy and Dan.

I knew it hadn't been Alice.

Granted, she was so pissed off at me now, she wouldn't even say my name. She'd sent her presents to Mom's house ahead of their Christmas visit and I'd seen them under the tree a few nights ago when I was there for dinner. Mine were tagged "To: Dumbass" and Mom, clearly sharing that sentiment, hadn't made her change it.

She hadn't started sticking pins in her Edward doll until _after_ I'd left LA, though, not before. So it definitely hadn't been Alice undermining our relationship.

I turned at my halfway point and headed home, mind still churning until it sounded like a nest of owls had taken residence. Who...who...who...

Then another name came to me.

Jake.

Of course.

My legs gave a burst of speed, anger invigorating muscles that had settled into a slow, easy lope. That slick, stupid son of a bitch. Had he had it in for me all along, just playing along for Bella when she was around so she wouldn't recognize his sabotage when he finally started laying it on? Or had it been a new thing? Did he start his anti-Edward campaign after the grope at the premiere?

Pound, pound, pound. My feet hit the ground like a prizefighter's fists, every step another punishing blow. I remembered what if felt like when my fist connected with his face and my mind replayed that moment on a loop as I closed the distance to home. This time without any guilt attached, just cold, hard satisfaction.

His number was still in my phone somewhere, I was sure of it. I might not be able to hit the asshole again like I wanted to, but I could sure as hell lay into him verbally. I'd learned a thing or two about verbal assaults from my mother over the years. I thought I could do decent enough damage that way.

My righteous indignation gave out about a half a mile from the house.

That's when my rational caught up.

Much as I wanted to lay blame at the agent's feet, I couldn't. And not just because I knew, logically, that he hadn't done a damned thing to sabotage my relationship with Bella.

No, I couldn't even blame whomever it had been giving Bella the "ditch Edward" advice. Because the who didn't matter.

What mattered was I let her go. Without a fight, without a word. I let her slip away from me like rain water off pine needles. Okay, so she didn't say a word to stop me, didn't make a sound of protest. But I'd been the one to promise that we could make it.

I'd been the one that failed her.

I didn't even pause to wipe the sweat from my face when I went into the kitchen from the back door. I went straight for the phone…and then stared at it stupidly for a full ten minutes. My body felt frozen despite the workout, scared to take that final step, to reach out.

Terrified, despite the letter, to have my reaching hand smacked away.

I got some water, rinsed my face under the kitchen tap, then went back to staring. I finally reminded myself that I was a full grown man and not a teenager attempting to ask the head cheerleader to prom.

Actually, I didn't know which would be worse.

"Just dial the fucking number, you ass."

With a growl, I did just that. My heart in my throat with every ring.

By the fifth ring I was positive I'd be speaking to her voicemail and started to think about what I was going to say.

It took me a second to realize that the rings had stopped but there was no recorded voice telling me to leave a message.

"Bella?"

Silence.

Was her phone broken? Was mine? Had it disconnected?

I pulled mine away from my ear to check the screen. It still showed her picture (and wasn't that a little kick to the stomach?) and her number.

"Hello?" I asked into the ether.

There was a soft sniffle in my ear.

"Bella." My voice was quieter now, acknowledging that I knew she was there. I heard another sniffle in response. My heart thudded like my blood had been replaced with molasses. She was crying.

"Baby. Please don't cry."

Why is it that when you ask a woman not to do that, the first thing she does is more of it?

It took five minutes of shhing and it's okaying before Bella's sobs went to sniffles. I didn't cry at all. Not a single tear.

I just had something stuck in my eye that made it leak.

"Edward."

Damn if that didn't start my eye leaking again. I was going to have to get that looked at.

"Edward, I'm so sorry."

"Baby, so am I. You have no idea how—"

"You? What do you have to apologize for? I'm the one let everyone tell me what was best for me even when I knew damn well they were wrong. You didn't do anything, it was all me."

"That's bullshit, Bella. Straight up. I walked away. I said we'd make it through anything, and then walked at the first real test of that. Honestly, I'm surprised you're not slamming the phone down right now. Or telling me to fuck off _then_ slamming it down."

There was a soft sound through the phone. It was close enough to her laughter to serve as balm to my soul.

"I had to stop drinking peppermint mochas."

The comment was so wildly out of left field, I laughed in response. "What? I thought they were your favorites."

"They were. But after...well, after, I couldn't go near them again."

"Why?"

"They reminded me too much of you."

"Me? Why? I've never had one as far as I remember."

"But you always have a peppermint in your mouth."

I smiled. "Yeah, I do. I have to get in close to the patients, it's nicer for everyone if they don't have to smell the Thai food I had for lunch."

Another laugh on the other end of the phone. "I know. And you drink coffee when you're working too."

"Okay...?" I still didn't understand her.

A soft sigh. "When you came home, when I'd...when I'd ki-kiss you, you'd taste like peppermint and coffee. I. I couldn't take those tastes together anymore when..."

I had a one sniffle warning before the tears fell again. I waited the storm out.

To say it was killing me to be powerless to comfort her tears was an understatement. All I could do was shush and soothe, and wait, impotent, until the next storm passed.

"Sorry about that," she sniffled at last.

"I'd say it's all right, but it's not. It's killing me, Bella, being here and not being able to do a damned thing to comfort you when you cry." I bit back what I desperately wanted to say or, rather, to ask. My wanting her to come home was secondary right now. All that was important right now was making sure she didn't hold herself wholly responsible.

"Can. Can I tell you what...what happened?"

I leaned back and rubbed my eyes. "Only if you'll accept that you're not the only one to blame in this."

"But..."

"No 'buts' allowed. You weren't alone, Bella, and I won't let you take all the blame."

There was a sniffling pause, and then a soft inhale of breath. "All right."

"All right."

Because I thought I was probably going to need it, I headed into the fridge while Bella began her story. I took a beer out and popped the top. Not wanting anything to distract me, I took my beer and phone out to the deck and stretched out on a lounge chair under the awning. The soft rain falling through the trees made a fitting backdrop while I heard about an insane director hell bent on turning her affections to him, to her own mother's insistence over what was better for Bella and, in her own twisted way, for me.

I'd expected anger when she asked if she could explain what had happened, but as I hadn't had a clue over what had actually happened while we'd been separated, I hadn't know where to direct that anger.

Now I did. And the impetus to go find this director and string him up by his balls was nearly overwhelming.

I was a little surprised, though, that Renee had had a hand in it as well. "I really thought she liked me," I added absently.

"I think it was because she liked you."

"Christ, if she ever starts hating me, I'm moving to Antarctica, just to be on the safe side," I laughed, only half kidding.

"Now you know why she scares the shit out of me, even now," Bella said, her voice soft in my ear and causing all sorts of terrible and wonderful chemical reactions.

This wasn't right. She should be here. We shouldn't be doing this over a phone line. I needed my senses, to see her eyes, touch her face, smell that too-flowery shampoo she used.

"Come home," I said, the words almost startled out of my mouth.

"Excuse me?"

I didn't know whether she hadn't heard me or hadn't believed me. It amounted to the same. I was tempted for a minute to toss it off with a "nothing" and let my stupidity bleed away, but I'd stopped being a coward in college. I wasn't about to revert now.

"You're not working now, right?"

"No, I'm not. I've just got the premiere in a few days and then I'm off until late January."

"Come home, then. Let's talk, really talk. Not over the phone. Face to face."

The silence over the line didn't bode well and sent a stream of molten dread into my stomach.

"Oh, Edward."

"'Oh, Edward' what?" I asked, incredibly confused.

"Don't you see? I could come up there, we could talk over everything, maybe even make a fresh start. But one of the core problems would still be there."

There was no excitement in her voice, just resignation and defeat. The stream of dread became a tsunami.

"And what's that?"

"You asked me to come home," Bella said, her voice so soft and distant, my eyes were filling again.

"Yeah?"

"Edward, I _am_ home."

"You know what I meant," I replied lamely, beating myself up for the mistake.

"I do know, yeah. This wouldn't ever be home for you, would it? Just some place you'd endure because you have to. Whatever else happened, that never changed."

I was too stunned to answer, too lost in my own thoughts to even grunt a response.

The sound of her sniffle before she disconnected the phone lanced through me like a scalpel, but I couldn't bring myself to redial her number.

Because I was afraid she was right and until I knew for sure that she wasn't, I had no business calling back.

* * *

It was as if the last month hadn't happened, as if I'd lost her all over again.

The next two days passed in a haze. I wandered around the hospital like a ghost. I could focus when I was with patients, but then my brain would snap back off again when it wasn't needed. Over and over Bella's last words on the phone echoed in my mind; the dread they caused eating away at me like mice on cheese.

"Edward, do you have a minute?"

"Sure," I answered blankly, cup of cold coffee in my hand as I stared out the window of the doctor's lounge to the courtyard below. The sight of our first outing together.

_For fuck's sake, stop it, you asshole._

"Edward?" I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned, surprised to see it had been my father who'd asked for a minute. I hadn't even registered the voice when he spoke the first time.

"Yeah, sorry, Dad. Brain took a little holiday."

"Come with me, son," he said, and lead the way from the lounge towards the suite of offices kept for the Board members if and when they had need of them. We sat together on the couch rather than me across the desk from him. Dad pushed a bottle of water into my hand and looked at me expectantly.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You're looking at me funny," I said after a sip from the bottle.

"Just doing a small examination."

"For what?"

"The oozing scabs and drooling that most living dead are known to exhibit."

"Funny."

"It's what the nurses are calling you, you know. Doctor Zombie. Angela told me the only reason she hadn't tossed you in quarantine was because you hadn't bitten anyone yet."

I shot him a look, but didn't respond beyond that.

Dad took my wrist, found my pulse, and nodded. "And now that I've ascertained that you are, in fact, alive, care to give me a reason why you're stumbling around here like this? I thought," he stopped for a moment, cleared his throat, "you'd seemed better lately. At Jessica's hearing there was no sign of this."

"I guess you could say it's a recent development."

"I'm going to make a wild conjecture and assume that Bella was involved."

He was watching me, so I know he saw me flinch. "Yeah. She was. Is." Pause. Sigh. "Was."

Silence while I stared at the water bottle and Dad stared at me. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Christ, I'd have an easier time getting information from the wallpaper."

"There's nothing to say, Dad. She wrote me a letter, apologizing for what happened, I called her, we talked for a long time, I asked her to come up here, so we could talk face to face. She said no, end of story."

Guilt nibbled at me almost immediately. That wasn't fair to her.

"Okay," I continued, even though Dad hadn't contradicted me. "I asked her to come home so we could talk and she said that she _was_ home. After that, there wasn't much left to say but goodbye."

More silence. I turned to him with a pointed look. "I think I'd get more reaction out of the wallpaper."

"Sorry, Edward. I'm just trying to figure out from whom you got the stupid gene since it wasn't from your mother or me. Maybe a recessive trait in there somewhere?"

"Thanks for your support," I shot back in the same teasing tone. I may doubt many things, but my father's opinion of my intelligence wasn't one of them.

"All right, maybe stupid's too strong. But tactless certainly fits."

"Yeah, I know I fucked it up. Again." The hand not holding the bottle came up to scrub over my face.

"Because I know you've relived that conversation a thousand times in your mind, what do wish you'd said instead?"

"No brainer. Anything but the word 'home.'"

"And would you have meant it? Can you ever look at Los Angeles as home to you?"

My answer was immediate since Dad was right about the internal questioning. "It could be a shack in the swamp surrounded by hungry alligators and I'd call it home if Bella was standing there with me."

"You're sure. Even with all the headaches, all the press, the misconceptions, the lack of privacy?"

"Yes."

"Unequivocally?"

I nodded. "I can't live without her, Dad. Just that small conversation was enough to remind me, to show me how lost I've been without her."

"What did she say when you told her that?"

I felt the flush rise to my cheeks as I watched my feet scuff at the ancient shag carpeting.

"So you haven't called her back yet. What, you don't think she might be interested in hearing this little revelation?"

I scoffed and raised my head. "Exactly how many chances do you think she's going to give me?"

"How many would you give her?"

God, I hated it when he did that. Especially when he was right. I exhaled softly. A phone call wasn't going to do it, that hadn't changed. "Then I suppose I'm going to need some time off."

Dad clapped a hand to my back. "That's my boy," he grinned.

"Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up too high. Probably going to end up with nothing more than a door slammed in my face."

"Then you knock again."

"And if she doesn't answer?"

"Up to you, Doctor Zombie, but I wouldn't be run off that easily."

I was about to protest that one when I remembered the lunch Mom and I had had, when she told me about her past before meeting Dad, and Dad's relentless quest for her. Rather than protest his plan of dogged pursuit, I smiled.

"And you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?"

He nodded once, his fingers turning the single gold band on his left hand. "I knew my life would be an empty shell without Esme. I merely did what I could to make sure she realized hers would be just as empty without me – no matter what our lives had been to that point. That what mattered to me was where our lives were going, and that they went there together."

I stood up. As plans started to form in my mind, I was suddenly anxious to put them in place. I turned back at one frightening thought. "And if it doesn't work? If she calls the cops and has them arrest me for trespassing?"

"I'll fly down personally to bail you out," he smiled, adding a wink.

"I've never been good at leaping before I look, taking things on faith."

"You're going to have to be now, aren't you?"

"Speaking from experience again?"

"Yes. It's never easy, and you'll second guess yourself a thousand times between now and that first knock on the door. How much faith do you suppose it took for your mother and I to work? For her to trust I wasn't some letch, for me to trust she wouldn't run again? But the rockiest beginnings sometimes make for the surest of foundations and every bit of the struggle to stay together was worth it."

"I guess all that's left to do is book a ticket and pray she'll listen."

"She will." We both looked up, surprised, to see Mom standing in the doorway. I wondered how long she'd been listening to us. "She might not want to, but she will."

"You sound sure of that."

"I am. However angry, scared, confused, she is, at the core of it, she loves you. That will keep her ears open."

I closed my eyes and was immediately assaulted by a rapid-fire series of images, all of Bella's face, all smiling at me for one thing or another over the course of our relationship. Little moments, little words, little touches. Soft sighs, hearty laughs, the feel of her fingers tangled up with mine, the way she talked in her sleep. All the things that made up my Bella, all the things I'd managed to let slip away for the stupidest of reasons.

Twice.

"God, I've been a complete fuckup."

"Not a complete one, no. But you've had your moments." My mother agreed. It was still disconcerting to not get a lecture over the swear word. "The question is, are you man enough to unfuck it up?"

Hearing Mom swear back at me was the kick in the ass I needed. I looked from my mother to my father, nodded once and headed for the door.

"Guess we're about to find out," I told them as I left them behind me on my way to my own office.

I'd always seen characters in books and movies snatch up the phone in their own states of haste and demand the first flight out. That, it seemed, was much easier when you didn't have to deal with a real person on the other end of the phone, or with the actual logistics of getting to an airport to take that first flight out.

When you did have those pesky little details, it was a little more difficult.

Still, though, after three different airlines, I finally found one with a seat available that wouldn't take me longer to fly there than it would to drive it.

Once waiting at the airport, I had another little logistical crisis. Like how to get onto Bella's doorstep in the first place. She lived in a gated community and I was pretty sure I wasn't on the approved guest list anywhere. My plans of frontal knock-on-the-door assault were toast if the guard had to call and ask permission to let me in.

And knocking on the iron gate a mile from Bella's house didn't have quite the same punch.

I debated calling Alice for a second and then discarded it just as fast. Alice was in Las Vegas with Jasper while he played a few gigs with his new band (we were all half-expecting the announcement that they'd had Elvis marry them while they were there.) While she might have been able to call the guard and get me in, I didn't want to put her in that position. Her loyalties were to Bella, and it wasn't fair of me to pull the brother card.

Jake was out, too. If anything, he'd probably pick me up at the airport and return the fist to the face. Or a kick to the balls. Either was possible.

That left one option only.

"Leah Clearwater," her voice came through on the other end of the phone.

I nearly ended the call.

"Hello? Look, either say something or start the dirty talk already. I'm a busy woman."

That startled a laugh out of me. "Hello, Leah. It's Edward Cullen."

I was almost proud of myself that she seemed stunned into silence. I heard some rustling and what sounded like traffic noise. "Well, well. The prodigal doctor returns. To what do I owe the honor?"

"I need your help."

"Let me guess. This doesn't involve buying a Porsche, does it?"

"Afraid not, no. It involves getting in to see Bella."

"No can do, Doc. As it is I had to take this call outside. Jake even hears the name Edward and he breaks whatever he's holding. He finds out I'm talking to you and I'll be down on the boulevard, selling maps to the stars' homes. Why not just camp out somewhere she usually goes, like the Starbucks near her house?"

"Because Bella wouldn't want to see me for the first time in weeks in public. She'd hate it, Leah, you know that as well as I do."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. It was worth a try. So why're you so hot to see her all of the sudden? You're the one that walked out, right?"

"Would it help if I told you she wrote to me, a few days ago? That we've spoken on the phone since?"

"It might. Problem is, if you'd reconciled, you wouldn't need my help getting in the gate."

"I would if, in the course of reconciling, I managed another fuck up."

"What did you – never mind. I don't want to know." She groaned a bit. I heard a rustle, a shift of the phone from one ear to the other. "So what's your plan now?"

"I don't have an exact plan, but I'm sure begging's going to play a pretty big role."

A long pause. "It better. Because if you fail at this one, Doc, we both go down. And not in the happy, life-affirming way, either."

I laughed then, full and clear, for the first time in weeks. Maybe months. As my flight was called, I felt a surge of optimism fill me. I gave the flight number to Leah just before hanging up, gathered my courage, and took my place in line with the other travelers.

The flight was uneventful – not even a bump of turbulence. Just me and my thoughts squished between two other travelers, neither of which had much of a grasp on personal space. I barely noticed, however. I was too focused on what was to come. My walk through LAX towards Leah was night-and-day different from the last one. No one paid me any mind at all, and the only camera clicks I heard were tourists taking pictures of one another.

I barely spoke to Leah on the ride from the airport to Bella's. I think she tried to make conversation, but I don't remember managing more than one-word responses. Fear, anticipation, dread and excitement had all warred inside me to the point my words were completely dried up.

My whole life hinged on the next hour.

Yeah. No pressure.

Leah stopped at the foot of Bella's driveway – both of us relieved to see her little convertible in the driveway and no sign of her mother's Mini Cooper. "Good luck, Doc. I'm planning on denying I had any part in this if you continue your streak of fuckups."

I managed a tight smile back. "Thanks."

"No problem. Now get out. I've got shit to do that doesn't include you."

I grabbed my small overnight bag and made the five-mile trek to Bella's front door. Funny, it hadn't seemed that long a walk the last time I was here.

I got to her front door with my heart in my throat, my arm poised to knock. The door opened before my fist made contact with the wood.

"Edward?"

I blinked, utterly wrong-footed. There stood Bella in her favorite old yoga pants and, surprisingly, one of my old t-shirts. She had the doorknob in one hand, her phone in the other.

"Bella. Hi. I was going to knock." _Duh. __Christ, __Edward, __could __you __be __any __more __of __a __dickhead?_

She looked pointedly at my raised hand. "Apparently."

I dropped my hand. It fell like lead to my side, and swung there stupidly.

"You're here."

My brain was slowly coming back to life. "Er, yeah. It was supposed to be, well, I pictured this happening a little differently. Did the guard call?"

Bella nodded once. "He did. It's what they do when I'm home and a guest shows up unexpectedly."

"Oh, right. I should have expected that."

"Do I want to know how you pictured this happening?"

"I thought there'd be a door slamming in my face at least, possibly a kick to the groin."

She seemed to be considering the latter and I tried not to flinch and cover myself.

Silence spread as our eyes remained locked on each others. Any minute now, I'd get the slam. Or the kick. Or both.

One minute passed. Then two. When it became clear neither was going to happen, I said the only thing I could. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"For what?"

I thought about that for a few seconds. There was only one response. "Everything."

The next second, she was in my arms. This time, she wasn't the only one crying.

Every guy instinct in me was begging for more, to deepen the kiss, to sweep her up and carry her upstairs, to bury myself inside her to the point she'd never get me out again. To say the hell with talking for now, to just let our bodies rule the moment.

Thankfully for us both, logic prevailed over libido. Sex right now would do nothing but muddy already murky waters.

With something close to Herculean effort, I managed to get my inner caveman under control. I kept the kiss gentle, chaste, just two mouths remembering taste and touch. When my body started to cry out for more again, I deliberately did the opposite and pulled my lips away. I peppered soft kisses along her cheeks, her forehead, down the bridge of her nose, but never more than that.

When the kiss broke, Bella slipped her hand in mine and lead me in to her den. It looked much the same as it had before, but with evidence that she'd spent more time here than upstairs. Coffee cups, pillows and blankets. She cleared all of that away and made space for us on the couch. We faced each other with our arms draped along the back of the couch, fingers tangled together, knees just close enough to touch. With my free hand, I reached over to touch the bruising beneath her eyes.

"You're still not sleeping?"

"It comes and goes," she said, her eyes looking down at her lap.

I sighed and reached over, tipping her chin back up. "This isn't going to work if you hide away from me, Bella."

"We can't just agree to let it all go? Start over?" she asked, with so much hope in her voice I felt like a vintage villain when I shook my head.

"We could, but I don't think that'd get us very far. Or maybe just far enough to make the same mistakes again."

"How'd you get so wise?" Bella laughed softly.

"I had no end of good advice laid at my feet, usually while the advice giver was thumping the back of my head."

"Your mom?"

"My mom."

"But you've told her she can stop now, right? Because this was my fault?"

I gave her fingers a squeeze. "I've done no such thing. I might not be going the entire Dimmesdale, but I own my part in it, Bella. Neither of us was fully to blame, neither fully innocent."

She looked ready to argue, I was ready to counter…so we both spoke at the same time.

"I didn't fight for you."

It took a while for us to get control of our emotions enough to talk through our tears after the joint confession. Once we did, we didn't stop. Not for hours. We sat together on her sofa, moving closer with each new subject until I was reclining and Bella lay against my chest. We went through it all, every mistake, every miscommunication, every misinterpreted comment or action. Our shared insecurities and willingness to believe the worst rather than trust in something neither of us ever thought we'd have.

"Can I ask you about something?"

I snorted a laugh. "Because, what, I'm going to say you can't?"

She chuckled and swatted playfully against my arm. "You said something to Alice, something about the ring on the dresser."

"She told you about that?" Somehow I didn't see it. Alice wouldn't have just blurted something like that out – not to Bella.

"She might have let it slip one night, when the margaritas had flowed especially well."

I stared at the little flush high on her cheeks. "Bella Swan, did you get my sister drunk to pick her brain?"

"Maybe." Her guilty smile said otherwise, and I couldn't help not leaning over to kiss it.

"So...did you mean what I think you meant?"

I stiffened a little. Bella was nothing if not insightful. "What did you think I meant?"

"Amalie."

One word that, really, said it all.

"You were afraid I was pretending, too, weren't you?"

I thought about that one before I answered, my fingers tracing patterns on her arm. "I don't think I made the comparison consciously. I think if I had, I'd been able to discount it or talk myself out of it." I held her tighter to me, as if trying to remind myself that I was really here, that I really had her back in my arms.

"So what changed that?"

"That morning. The way it ended." We both shuddered. "There wasn't a fight, no tears, no yelling, just a quiet goodbye. A ring to pack in a suitcase rather than one placed on the dresser. I thought about what Amalie'd said, about being relieved she didn't have to pretend anymore. And I thought maybe, just maybe, you were relieved, too."

I heard her sniffle, felt the warm wetness of another tear soaking through my shirt, then felt her small hand smack my arm again. She sat up just enough for me to see her face, beautiful brown eyes framed by tear-matted lashes and the red-streaks from her tears. "Well, you were stupid."

"So I've been told. Repeatedly. Actually, Mom called me a fuck up, but it amounts to the same."

Bella smiled, the tears spilling over her cheeks a contrast to the laugh bubbling up from her chest. "She did?"

"She did. She also wondered if I was man enough to unfuck it up."

Our eyes remained fixed, and I saw the future, our future, filling them.

"And are you?"

Another frozen moment and I maneuvered us to standing, Bella secure in my arms. "Let's find out."

Her arms tightened around me, arching slightly to bring her mouth into direct contact with mine. "Yes. Let's."

After that, we couldn't move fast enough.

I carried Bella as far as the top of the stairs before setting her back on her feet. I wanted to carry her the rest of the way, but it was proving impossible to shed clothes while I held her off the ground and the few moments of having her apart from me were worth it. We were no more graceful about the clothes as we'd ever been. Somehow, we'd not quite figured out how to get each other naked without some button, zipper, or body part getting in the way.

Most importantly, neither of us cared. It was the fun of it that filled us, the laughter when the knot she'd made in my old shirt made it impossible for me to get it over her head, or when I'd forgotten to kick off my shoes, thus making getting my pants off tricky. It wasn't perfect, or graceful, but it was us. And when we fell onto the mattress, laughing and panting, I knew it always would be.

The laughter didn't last long. As soon as we both lay prone across her bed, I reached for her, she reached for me, and suddenly we were magnets. I could almost hear the snap as our bodies closed the distance. My lips found hers, taking and giving, tongues dancing together. My senses filled, like the line in the song. There wasn't one not wholly taken over by her touch, her taste, her scent, sight, or smell. And when I made that final shift, my cock slipping inside her to join us again at last, I felt the last tumbler click into place.

I was home.

* * *

The sun was just starting to lighten the room around us when Bella's mobile vibrated on the nightstand.

I would have said it woke us up but, really, we didn't get a lot of sleep that night. More like small naps in between bouts of naked time. We'd paused about two in the morning to let my body recharge while we raided her fridge for leftovers and finally brought my bag upstairs. The remnants of our middle-of –the-night meal littered the floor around her bed now. I'd intended to take them back down after we'd finished eating but there hadn't been time.

Who knew that Bella eating cold noodles could be so erotic?

Bella groaned and burrowed into me. The phone buzzed again and this time she flung out her hand and picked it up.

My mind wanted to remember the last time she'd answered her phone while in bed with me. I told it to shut the fuck up.

Bella's laugh captured my attention and I looked over. "Good news?"

She smiled at me. "Just Leah. Wondering if she should be looking for a new job, or a spot in the Witness Protection program."

"Tell her I'm sending her flowers."

A few taps and Bella sent the message. We both knew it wouldn't be the last, so we got comfortable. My back against the headboard, Bella draped against me, fingers playing dangerously with my stomach.

When the response came, Bella held the phone so we could both read it.

"Shattered prem 2night. You ditch, Jake kills u."

"Prem?" I asked, then answered my own question. "Oh, the premiere."

"Yeah."

The word was loaded. We both remembered what had happened last time. I looked at her for a moment, watched her lower lip get caught in her teeth and took the phone out of her hands.

"Edward here – Christophe still have measurements? Up for challenge?"

I looked at Bella before I hit send. Questioning. With a smile, she took the phone from me and sent the message. Her face buried in my chest. "Thank you."

"No thanks necessary. This is your life, Bella. Premieres and parties, cameras and directors. If your life had gone a different route, if you'd stayed in Forks and worked in the Port, and I fell in love with you then, I'd be the one with the job that interfered – late night calls, ruined vacations, et cetera. I can't imagine life as a doctor's wife will be any easier."

It was out before I knew it, but I wasn't about to call it back. Bella, true to her nature, didn't let it slip under the rug unnoticed.

"A doctor's wife."

I nodded. It was the one thing we hadn't talked about – not since the letter, not since I'd arrived. My slip of the tongue made now a good a time as any. "You'd once expressed an interest. I wasn't sure if you still wanted the job."

My breath tried to catch in my throat. I forced it out, made myself breathe normally. Not easy when my entire future balanced on the silence stretching between us.

"I—I do. It's just..."

My heart was in my throat. The minimal relief vaporized at her capitulation. "Just...what?"

"My life. It's..it's here. And yours is there. That hasn't changed."

I relaxed immediately and pulled her tight against me. "My life is right here, Bella. With you. I can practice medicine anywhere. I can be the studio physician, I can volunteer in clinics, I can work ER shifts and LA County General. I can even hang up the stethoscope and just tend to your bumps and bruises."

"But you love living in Forks."

"I do. And I hope we can keep that house, for times when we visit, or when we both just need to get away from LA for awhile, like you did when you first went up there. So we can stay there when we visit and not have to worry about Mom and Dad hearing when we're…otherwise engaged." I added a small eyebrow waggle then melted my face back to serious. "Does it really have to be one or the other?"

"It's too much for you to give up."

"No, Bella. This." I tightened my arms around her for emphasis. "This is too much to give up. I've tried it. Six of the worst weeks of my life, including high school, and believe me, that's saying something. Especially from the guy voted most likely to miss class because he's stuffed in a locker."

I leaned in and kissed her softly, slowly, letting the heat build again. "This, having this, is what matters. The rest is just details."

Naturally, Leah chose that moment to text back. Bella held the phone between us. "Christophe up 4 challenge, Zaf & Senna there in 4 hours, c u 2night."

I took the phone and tapped out one last message. "What color is Bella's dress?"

The response came a second later. "Blue."

"Why did you want to know the color of my dress?" she asked as I replaced the phone on the nightstand.

I reached lower for my bag and rummaged a bit. When I straightened, I slipped the small box into her hand. "I just wanted to make sure this didn't clash."

I waited without breathing for her to flip open the lid, felt my eyes dampen when she gasped and stared at my grandmother's ring.

I plucked the white gold band from its velvet perch. I shifted until I faced her, her left hand in mine. I wished not for the first time that I had even a small ability at romance. I'd gotten lucky last time, I wasn't about to go for a third fuck up by trying too hard. I went with straightforward instead.

"Bella, will you marry me?"

Her hand shook as she held out her fingers towards me. She went for simple, too. "Yes, I will."

We spent the rest of the morning in bed, lazily kissing and dreaming up wild and not so wild wedding plans. So lost were we in the newer, brighter future laid out before us, we didn't realize Zafrina had arrived until she walked into the bedroom, took one look at us and tsked as only she could.

"_In __flagrante __delicto, __tesoro?"_

Bella looked up with a wicked smile that had my blood trying to boil again even though it was well past any sort of action.

"_Innocenti,"_Bella answered and we all laughed. Sitting as she was, without a stitch on, draped in a bed sheet and hair looking thoroughly rumpled, she was the least innocent looking person on the planet.

"Well done, _ragazzo."_ Zafrina said to me as I passed by on my way to the guest room where Senna was waiting for me. "I have not seen her smile this much ever. It is good to see, what is it, la luce, the light, back in her eyes."

"I'll do my best to see it stays there," I replied.

She responded by pinching my arm, hard, then smacking my cheek. "You had better, _amore."_

I laughed all the way to my own buff and polish session, mostly to cover the fear. I had no doubt this little Italian woman could rip me to pieces if the spirit moved her.

We went to the premiere together, my ring gleaming on Bella's left ring finger and me trying very hard not to strut because of it.

Jake had arrived not long after us and, as he hadn't seemed surprised to see me, I supposed either Leah or Bella herself had warned him I was back in her life again. Whatever his feelings on the matter, he just gave me a nod and steered Bella down the red carpet.

Daniel and Tracy gave us knowing smiles, and hugs of congratulations (though Tracy gave my head a thump for my brief stint as a fuckwit). I hung back with Tracy while Dan and Bella gave their interviews, slowly moving along the press line. Tracy kept me well entertained during that time, pointing out the women, both behind the velvet ropes and mingled in with us, that wanted nothing more than an up close and personal introduction to Dan's package.

As I listened, I realized I could see some of the same looks on women's faces and, impossibly, they were pointing those looks at me. I grinned then, recognizing that by knowing the looks, I'd be better able to avoid the hands. And I did. Throughout the whole meet and greet, movie showing and after party, I wasn't groped once.

Well, not by anyone but Bella, anyway, and those didn't count as I was groping her right back.

The party stretched into the wee hours of the night. It was closing in on 3 am when Bill dropped us off. Bella went straight upstairs while I detoured to the kitchen for a glass of water. She'd done a lot of interviews tonight and I knew that had to have left her a little dehydrated.

I carried the glass upstairs after making sure the front door was locked, and found her standing in the middle of the room, her eyes fixed on the ring.

I put the glass down before crossing over to her, my hands on her shoulders. I kissed the top of her head softly. "Is it a good thing that you can't take your eyes off that?"

Soft laughter. "A very good thing. Want to know what's even better?"

I pulled her back flush against me. "I have an idea." I let my hips rock into her once, for emphasis.

"Not that, though that is sort of spectacular," she added, bumping me back.

"Mmm, spectactular's good," I murmured against her throat, my lips kissing just below the pulse point.

"Focus, Edward."

My fingers tugged down the zipper of her dress, then slid my hands inside to rest on hips barely covered in something that felt like lace. The dress fell to the floor in a puddle at our feet. "I am."

She turned, her brown eyes fixed on mine. " Do you remember what you said to me? When we were about to leave Koi?"

I frowned, derailing my libido for the moment because this was obviously important to Bella. I wasn't worried. She hadn't moved out of my arms, and she didn't look angry or upset, so I knew I hadn't fucked up again. I honestly couldn't remember what I'd said to cause the look of wonder on her face. "No? I mean, I mentioned that you kept yawning, and that we should think about going home, but…"

She pressed her fingers to my lips and I finally got it. I smiled. "I said home."

"You did. And you meant this home."

"No, Bella, I meant our home."

* * *

Epilogue soon – thank you for reading, for sharing Bella and Edward's journey, and for making this my most reviewed story ever. We might not have always agreed, but that you were interested enough to share your views on what happened always meant the world to me.

"_In __flagrante __delicto, __tesoro?"__ – _Caught redhanded, treasure?

_Innocenti__ – _Innocent

_Ragazzo__ –_ boyfriend

_Amore __-_ love


	23. Epilogue

A/N – standard disclaimer

A/N2 – thanks for all the reviews, favorites and alerts; and special thanks for those of you who came back to read their HEA.

* * *

Epilogue – several years later

**The Elusive Bella Swan**

_Driving through the gloom of the Pacific Northwest, a twisting, damp highway leads to a sleepy town called Forks. The berg itself is reminiscent of a long-forgotten past for this seasoned city-girl. People greet one another on the street, the single diner is more public house than restaurant and kids still ride bikes through the center of "downtown" without fear of traffic._

_Follow the main road past the center of town and you find a mostly hidden drive just a mile away. The drive itself is a wooded, unpaved road that looks more like the path to some fairy tale witch's house. Just when you're thinking dropping breadcrumbs might not be a bad idea, the trees open up to reveal a modest looking cottage in the clearing. Grass grows here with no trees to choke out the little bit of sun. A peek near the back shows an elaborate swing set, a match to the rather rugged looking stroller parked between two Volvos in front._

_I'm greeted by a miniature of my interview subject – waiflike and charming with one long braid captured under the strap of her overalls. She announces that she's Maggie, that she has a loose tooth and that I'm to follow her. She then leads me back through the house to an open, welcoming kitchen. The fridge is covered in artwork and school notices, two cereal bowls stand unattended on the breakfast bar. To my right, a tall and extremely good looking man stirs what smells like spaghetti sauce at the stove, his miniature clapped to his back, monkey-style. My escort dances out of the room on ballerina flats, calling for her mother and announcing that the porter lady is here. I'm left to assume that's me._

_The man greets me with a warm smile, his green eyes wrinkling at the corners attractively. He introduces me to the monkey, a charming three year old with his father's green eyes, named Thomas. Just seconds later, my interview subject walks in...noticeably pregnant. From my estimation, probably six months along._

_We greet each other like the friends we've become over the years, odd though that may be for gossip site maven and an award winning actress, and she leads me to a kitchen table set in a breakfast nook, surrounded by windows that capture all available natural light._

_With a request for tea from her husband, we settle at the table together._

TD: So, Bella, let me start with the obvious. Congratulations on number three.

BS: [hand to the slight rise] Thanks, Tanya. This one was another little surprise.

EC: Don't let her tell you it was my fault!

BS: It was!

EC: Not even close, Hollywood. Two to tango, after all.

TD: Sounds like a familiar argument.

BS: He's been claiming innocence since the stick showed a plus sign, but he's wanted a third since Tommy started walking. [Her voice raises] I still say he got me hammered on purpose.

EC: Did no such thing and I resent the implication.

_[A little voice asks what hammered means and both clear their throats. Both parents grin, and even blush slightly, which says clearly that whatever protests, this new life is a very welcome addition.]_

BS: Anyway. Yes, a surprise, but a welcome one. Maggie and Tom are already squabbling over the gender. You're laughing...what?

TD: Nothing. Just in today's climate of Apple, Ocean, Fifi and Rocket, your children have such mainstream names.

BS: [laughing with me] Yeah, well, we decided that they'd have a hard enough time of it, growing up in the semi-spotlight, the last thing they needed was a weird name on top of it.

EC: Hey. I petitioned hard for Tibia and Fibula, but you shut me down.

BS: Damn right I did, Cullen.

EC: [setting a tea tray down on the table, complete with English biscuits] I'm holding out for this one. I still think Femur's got a nice ring to it. And it fits with the family history, so why not?

BS: Because, and for the tenth time, we're not naming our children after bones, and that's final.

_[I've seen movies, read books, that try to describe the look that passes between these two people and all I can conclude is that every one of them failed abysmally. There are no words for the intensity of this gaze, the heat of which emanates off them like haze off asphalt. I end up having to clear my throat to break the moment.]_

BS: Sorry about that.

TD: No, you're not.

BS: [laughing] No, I'm really not.

TD: Edward mentioned a femur having a place in your family history. You met after a car accident that netted you a broken femur, right?

BS: Yep. I got smashed up, again, and Edward put me back together. Of course, that came complete with the rod that guarantees I set off every metal detector I pass through. Makes flying so much more fun, let me tell you. Anyway, once we realized that there was more to our interactions than doctor and patient, Edward transferred my care to another orthopedist and proceeded to romance me within an inch of my sanity.

TD: Do ethics laws prohibit medical doctor and patient relationships? I thought that was psychiatrists.

BS: Legally, it probably is. We just didn't want even a hint of improper behavior, you know? Why take the risk?

TD: True. Perception is nine tenths of reality, and no one knows that better than we do. Speaking of which, at the time of your accident, you were rumored to be involved with your manager, Jake Black.

BS: Yes, I was.

TD: The same Jake that married his longtime partner last year when the law was finally passed?

BS: [grinning] The very one. I was even best man at the wedding.

TD: So your supposed relationship was all made up?

BS: Yes, though in our defense it wasn't so much a willful misleading as it was the press jumping to the wrong conclusion and us doing nothing to stop it.

TD: Was that to hide Jake's preferences?

BS: Not at all. The main reason was to give me a ready excuse from the jerks that would try and hit on me if they thought I was going to things stag.

TD: Understandable. Jake's not exactly someone a would-be lothario would want to rile. And there are some jerks of the highest order smarming around Los Angeles press events.

BS: That there are.

TD: You said Edward romanced you, but it wasn't always smooth sailing, right? Edward came to LA that one time, and then wasn't seen again for nearly two months, nor were you seen flying out anywhere. Was it too much for him?

BS: Nothing like that, no. It was more that we were two people who were suddenly given something we never expected to have and we didn't know how to handle it.

TD: So you separated?

BS: [_one__brief__nod_] We did. I was filming _Terese_ while my relationship with Edward was falling apart. It was probably the blackest part of my career and my life offscreen as well.

TD: I remember when that was coming out. You were uncharacteristically close-lipped about filming and gave very few interviews.

BS: Would you want to relive that sort of hell, even in the abstract?

_[Out of nowhere, Edward appears. Ostensibly to check on our tea, but it's impossible to miss the hand to her shoulder, the soft squeeze of support, the kiss to the top of her head before he goes back to wherever he was lurking. However far in the past those events are, they're still some raw feelings there. I take it as a hint to move on.]_

TD: No, I wouldn't. But you reconciled, yes? Right around the time _Shattered_ premiered. You set the tongues wagging about more than the movie, showing up with a little bling on your finger.

BS: [_smiling, __holds __out __the __ring __for __me _(see inset) _her __skin __now __grown __around __the __dual __bands_] That's right.

TD: Vintage?

BS: Very. It was Edward's grandmother's ring.

TD: It suits you.

BS: [from the look on her face, she's caught her husband's eye again] Almost as much as the man who gave it to me

_[The look between them drags on for a full minute until I finally have to clear my throat again. Bella's attention returns to me, her cheeks flushing again.]_

BS:Sorry. Er. Anyway, yeah, it was rocky, but like any difficult journey, it was worth it at the end. We had some logistics to work out, how to mesh two very different lives in a way that fulfilled us both. It took a few months for him to decide which direction to go and, in the end, Edward decided against setting up practice anywhere. He worked as a set doctor for awhile, working on my films as well as others when I was between projects.

TD: You lived primarily in LA back then, but you were up here quite a bit as well.

BS: We both love this place, almost as much as my mother hates it.

TD: Hang on. You lived here before?

BS: [laughing] Yes. In a weird twist of fate, my parents lived here before I was born and I actually lived here myself for a year until my mother had enough of the rain and insisted they move somewhere in the sun. It's what drew Alice and I together at first.

TD: Alice is Alice Whitlock, your former PA?

BS: Yes, the one and only. Until she ran off to Vegas to get married then ditched me to manage her husband's fledgling band.

TD: That would be Treachery? The ones that just swept the Grammys? That fledgling band?

BS: [giggles] Well, they weren't that popular when she ditched me.

TD: Now then. Usually when you grant interviews of this sort – ones about you, not about a film you're promoting – Jake sends a list of topics that are off limits.

BS: Yes. I asked him not to this time.

TD: So I'm free to ask about _Anna_.

_[To __refresh __the __memory, __Bella __was __slated __for __the __lead __in __Coltrane's __sweeping __remake __of _Anna Karenina. _Rumor __around __town __was __that __the __part __would __be __her __landmark, __that __it __was __written __with __her __in __mind. __Then __she __bowed __out __three __weeks __before __production __was __set __to __begin, __sending __the __whole __project __into __a __tail spin __as __they __searched f__or __a __replacement. __Bella's __long-time __friend, __Tracy__Hughes, __filled __the __vacancy __and __went __on __to __sweep __the __awards __that __year. __To __date, __Bella __has __never __answered __any __questions __about __anything __related __to __the __film.]_

BS: I won't even make you ask. It came down to a choice between my career and my family, and they come first with me, always.

TD: I don't understand. I mean, I know it was going to be a year-long shoot in some pretty rugged terrain, but if Edward traveled with you…

BS: It wasn't just Edward, though. I found out I was pregnant with Maggie the same day my Russian visa came in.

TD: And Coltrane wouldn't shoot around a pregnancy?

BS: No, not at all. He was very supportive and said it wouldn't be a problem, that we could shoot around it fairly easy.

TD: Then…

BS: I have a tendency to run myself into the ground when I work. I get so caught up in the character, in making sure everything's perfect, I sometimes lose myself. It was a magic time for us, expecting our first baby. Not to mention how precarious those early months are. I wasn't going to risk her for that.

TD: Edward being a doctor didn't level that risk enough?

BS: A doctor is one thing for twinges and aches. If a real problem developed, we'd be hours from a hospital, so, no. That wasn't an acceptable risk. I chose to leave the project and concentrate on my new job of mom-to-be instead.

TD: And you paid the price for it. If I recall it was three years before you worked again. Do you think you were blacklisted for leaving a project in the lurch like that?

BS: I'm not sure, to be honest. But it doesn't matter, not really. Even knowing what I know now, I'd go back and make the same choice today as I did then. I nearly lost what was most important to me once over misguided fears over what would happen to my career if I put my personal life ahead of it. I wasn't about to do that again.

TD: How much of that factored in to your decision to move here permanently, to join the ranks of the other commuter stars?

BS: It was part of it, especially when Maggie started getting old enough to get wigged out when some idiot would jump out of nowhere and take her picture. It didn't happen often, but it was often enough that she was starting to throw tantrums about going out anywhere. Then Tracy got attacked at LAX.

TD: Right. The Stalkerazzi trial…

BS: Yeah. She was just trying to fly back to London, simple, innocent. She wasn't embroiled in any scandal, no real gossip questions – just a woman taking her son home so they could spend Christmas with her husband and his family. And she's knocked to the ground by that asshole James and separated from Jack's stroller. Then the vultures surrounded him, snapping pictures of him as he screamed, and James snapping the pictures of her as she screamed back, both in anger and pain when he stepped on her leg in the scrum and broke it.

TD: And that scene prompted the trial and now the Ten Feet law that went into effect January first.

BS: It did, and we're all glad that some good came out of that nightmare, but at the time, it pushed us to the ultimate decision to move back here for good and raise our kids in Forks, as far away from the public eye as we can manage.

TD: And the paparazzi leave you to it?

BS: Occasionally one or two show up, snap a few pictures of me at the Thriftway, but it's so boring, they usually give up and go home. If they try and ask the locals about us, or our habits, they deny we even live here. It's become a Forks pastime to confuse the reporters. Even better than bingo on Friday nights.

TD: How about Maggie, does she still flinch at going out?

BS: Not at all. We're very lucky that she didn't come away with any lingering scars from that time. Of course, it helps that the only people who take her picture now are her parents, her grandparents, and her Aunt Diane.

TD: Aunt Diane?

BS: [laughing] My sister in law, married to Edward's brother, Emmett. She's got the only photography studio in town, so she takes all the school pictures as well.

TD: Your connection to this place, and its residents is a strong one. Rumor has it your costar in _Sandscapes_ is a hometown connection.

BS: Courtney, yes. We've known her parents for years, Edward's actually known them both from his medical school days. Anyway, Courtney's always acted, from the time she was a little girl and started putting on plays for her friends. We would meet up occasionally for coffee when I was in Forks, asking for advice, tips, help with her craft. When she graduated from high school, we had her come stay with us for a month over the summer so I could give her a better idea of the world I lived in. She ended up staying the whole summer, working as a personal assistant. Rather than deter her, which her mother was hoping for, it just fueled the dream. I don't think Amalie's forgiven me yet.

EC: [calling from the stove] She hasn't.

BS: You warned her it wouldn't work. She loses. Again.

[_There's __another __of __those __looks __between __them__ – __something __that __manages __to __be __teasing __and __seductive __at __the __same __time. __Again, __I __clear __my __throat.]_

BS: [blushing again, and stumbles a bit at first, getting her bearings back] Sorry. Again. His fault. Anyway, yeah. Courtney. She transferred to UCLA after her freshman year, worked whenever she could, and finally got her SAG card last year. When the role came up in _Sandscapes_, I suggested her for the part. Nothing more. She was cast on her own merits.

TD: Any doubts anyone had that you pulled strings to get her the job wouldn't last past the first hour of the film. Her performance, and yours, still haunt me.

BS: Thank you.

TD: And now you're both nominated for Oscars and people are saying this will be the first time that one film wins both actress and supporting actress Oscars.

BS: [laughs] Well, they can say whatever they want, but it doesn't mean anything until the names are read from the envelope.

TD: After previous nominations, but no little golden guy to call your own yet, are you nervous?

BS: I'm always positive someone else will win it.

EC: [appearing behind her again, both hands on her shoulders] Because you're goofy.

BS: Stuff it, Cullen.

TD: So, Edward, since you're here. You seem to have settled well into the hectic that is a movie star's life.

EC: It wasn't the easiest thing to do, but yes, I have.

[_He __takes __a __seat __next __to __her __and __you __can __almost __watch __them __meld __together. __She __settles __into __his __side, __knowing __precisely __where __she'll __fit __best. __His __arm __settles __on __her __shoulders, f__ingers __tangling __in __her __hair. __This __is __not __an __affectation __for __a __reporter, __this __is __the __natural __state __of __these __two __people__ – __or __one __couple, __I __should __say, __because __they __really __are __more __a __single __unit.]_

TD: I remember those first pictures of you, when Bella first brought you to Los Angeles. You looked the opposite of comfortable.

EC: I was. It was, beyond a doubt, the single most uncomfortable moment of my life. Up to and including the lovely moments my wife threatened to castrate me with her fingernails alone during Maggie's birth.

BS: I did no such thing.

TD: Pictures or it didn't happen?

EC: [laughs] I have video.

BS: Don't you dare [looks around, a wild sort of panic in her eyes] Hang on. Where are the monsters? They're too quiet.

EC: [chuckles] That's because they're not here. Mom and Dad finally got here and they've "gone to the library."

TD: Air quotes?

EC: Yes. The library is the code name for ice cream. We're supposed to not notice that they come home with sticky faces and no books in sight.

TD: I do the same with my niece, though we go to the museum for cupcakes.

BS: I've heard they have the best ones.

TD: Of course. Now then, despite the auspicious beginnings, you seem to have settled into the Hollywood landscape pretty well. The last time you were in Los Angeles, for the _Sandscapes_ premiere, you looked nothing if not relaxed, even talked to a few reporters on the carpet.

EC: It's just part of the life she leads; it took me a while, and some bumps along the way, but if all I have to handle is a few cameras and reporters who, for some reason, want to splash my dorky smile around, who'm I to get upset about it?

TD: Dorky smile?

BS: [nodding at my apparent look of disbelief – and who could blame me? The man is star quality gorgeous] And he thinks _I'm_ goofy.

TD: Now I have one last question, one I'm sure you're expecting if your Facebook is any indication

BS: [groans] You want confirmation.

TD: If you're comfortable with it.

BS: [to Edward] See, I told you it would happen. I knew I'd mess up one day and it'd get out.

EC: Time to come out of the closet, baby.

BS: [another groan, turning to me] You're referring to what I said to Jeremy at MTV last week?

TD: Yes. He was asking everyone their thoughts on where they'd be or what they'd do when the Zombie Apocalypse started, and you commented, and I'm quoting here, "I just hope we have gravity hammers and energy swords by then."

[_Side __note__ – __I __had __to __look __this __up, __these __are __weapons __in __the __popular __X __Box __game __series, H__alo.]_

EC: In a word. Busted.

TD: Not five minutes later, your Facebook page was taken over by the video game crowd and, as far as I know, hasn't let up yet. The consensus seems to be that you couldn't have used those words so easily, or in context, unless you knew what they were. So...

BS: So... well. This is probably easier to show than tell. Want a look at the playroom?

EC: You should see the look on your face, Tanya. She doesn't mean Maggie and Tommy's play room, she means ours.

_[I'm still confused as we walk to back through the house to what appears to be an addition to the original structure and probably the most well-equipped game room I've ever seen. Computers take up two corners of the room, two large flat panel televisions hang from one wall, each with a separate game console hooked to it. The shelves are lined with game cases, computer-based game boxes, and hundreds of strategy guides.]_

TD: Good God. The fanboys will go ballistic over this. Mind if I snap a picture of it?

BS: I guess not. If I'm coming out of the closet, might as go all the way.

EC: You should also note that while I can still whip her backside at chess, I have yet to win against her on anything X Box.

TD: You play against each other?

BS: And on live against other gamers.

TD: Live? Really? So do your opponents know they're playing against an Academy Award nominated actress?

BS: [laughing again, leaning against her husband, his hand caressesing the baby bump in a clearly unconscious action] Are you kidding me? Most of them don't believe I'm even female.

TD: Begs the question. Comic Con is coming up in June, will you be attending?

BS: Another secret out. We've gone every year for the past six, actually. I'm thinking about finally doing a session now that I'm not hiding it anymore.

TD: The last six years? How have you gone unnoticed?

BS: [very wicked grin] Never underestimate the power of a fake name and an award winning makeup artist. Besides, no one really looks twice at another couple of steam punks pushing a stroller.

EC: We do have a few friends that know.

BS: They're not friends, they're a gaggle of smart asses.

TD: What?

EC: There are a couple of our gaming friends who recognized Bella the first year when we were at their booth. It was funny, watching the doubletake when Joel figured it out.

TD: You said you were thinking of doing a session, but the convention is mostly for science fiction and fantasy media. You've never done anything along those lines.

EC: Maybe not credited.

TD: I'm sorry?

BS: I'm out, might as well go all the way out. The guys that figured me out? Well, they run this web-based animated series that Edward and I love, that's why we were at the booth. We got to talking and they joked that I should do voice work for them. I gave them Jake's number.

EC: They about fell off their chairs, but they called Jake. I've been a part of the series ever since but under a pseudonym.

TD: You realize your hiding days will probably be over now that more will be actively looking for you?

EC: I dunno. Zafrina's pretty good. She was able to hide my identity from my own sister once.

BS: [giggles and turns into her husband's arms] That was a priceless night, wasn't it? I think Alice is still plotting revenge.

_I step back as the pair share laughter and stories about their past years of working within the Hollywood landscape and finding their own ways around it. Their children come barreling in not long after with the expected sticky faces. I watch as parents are greeted and introduced, as the young girl plays with a children's game on one of the flat panels while the younger boy makes himself at home on his father's back once again. _

_The love between them- as a couple and as a family - is palpable and one can't help but feel they're watching another Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman – a couple that will last through all Hollywood throws at them until only time and age separate them._

* * *

And that's the end. Thank you everyone for taking this journey with me. It's been so much fun writing Bella and Edward's story, even more fun sharing it with you.

If you're so inclined, the reviewers at Rob Attack have nominated Crash into Me as a Best Golden Oldie Reviewed fiction for 2013 and I'd be honored if you'd give me a vote :)


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